• Member Since 24th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Phantom Shadow

The One and Only!


On a day like any other, Rainbow Dash asks Fluttershy to accompany her as she heads out of town for a little while. She doesn't tell her where they are going or how long they will be gone, but says that it's a surprise. Not wanting to turn down one of her best friends, Fluttershy agrees to go with Rainbow Dash. However, something lingers in the back of the yellow Pegasus' mind as they leave: Where exactly are they going and what does Rainbow Dash have in mind when they get there?

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 41 )

Very good so far, can't wait to find out where Rainbow's taking Fluttershy.

*Hoping for massive amounts of 'D'Awwww' by the end* :twilightsmile:

It's finally out, and I have to say, it exceeds expectations! :pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy::scootangel:

Hey you could put an extra space in between paragraphs its kinda looking wall of texty :rainbowkiss:

Glad you all are liking the story so far! I hope to update soon!
Okie-dokie-lokie! I will do that from now on! Thanks!
Whoever said this was a romance story? :derpytongue2:


Seriously, this is good. However, as rainbow87dash pointed out, you should double space your paragraphs. It's a lot easier to read that way. :twilightsmile:

1708580 thanks it just makes it easier on the yes and makes it w
Easy to read between paragraphs and tell when one starts and another finishes but I can kinda tell
Does you write it like this?
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
=Blah blah blah...

= new paragraph

this time, she came in with a bag of food in her... ... ... 'arms?'
The animals were all properly feed.
A small thought came across her mind.

That's all I saw. :twilightsmile:

This is the first slice of life I've ever read, so I'm not exactly an expert, but it looks really good.

A couple people here seem to like this, but... well, I'm not so sure. Everything from morning to Twilight left me feeling incredible bored, and the dialogue felt incredibly unnatural, like forced small talk. Not to mention that I find one or two bits of this confusing. I don't know why Rainbow Dash is leaving a message with Twilight when she could (oh I don't know) cut out the middlemare and fly over to Fluttershy's, and you'd think that Fluttershy would be the last pony to break an awkward silence.

I'll keep track of this for another chapter or two. I'm not impressed with the first chapter, but I think the story has potential.

I will fix the spacing problem with this story and with future stories! Thanks for the help on this matter!

Only three errors so far? That's a HUGE improvement, in my book! :twilightsmile:

That's a good little filly! :derpytongue2:

I greatly appreciate you taking time from your busy life only to waste it reading this story.
I can't really justify anything that you said because I'm a moron. However, there's only one that I can hint towards: there is a reason why Rainbow asked Twilight to relay the message to Fluttershy.
Sorry that this fic bored you. I will try harder to improve [I look at it as 'constructive criticism'.]
Thanks for sticking around and I hope that it livens up to meet your liking. :derpytongue2:

This is my first time reading a slice of life fic, and I have to say it looks very promising.

...i agreeeeeee. there SHOULD be a romance tag!!! =)

andddddddddddddd it also felt like i was a step by step creepy stalker feeling knowing what fluttershy does every second.

otherwise... i like this =)

This, I like it :pinkiehappy: I hope the next chapter will be up soon, good job so far though :rainbowkiss:

maybe it is, maybe it isn't!
depends on how you look at it later... :derpytongue2:

1757115 So basically, you've dropped the romance tag and started pretending that this isn't a FlutterDash so that anyone who browses the front page won't look at this and pass on it while saying, "Oh look, here's generic FlutterDash #721."

That's one way of looking at it, but that wasn't my intention.
It's not meant to be a romance story, but with the events that will come later, you might disagree with me.
From the get-go, it's not meant to be a FlutterDash story, but if all of you feel that it is, then I will add the tag in the end.
For now, though, it's a simple slice-of-life story.

I hate cliffhangers :ajbemused:

Wow was not expecting this to update :rainbowkiss:

Oh, we were so close to finding out. Damn you, cliffhangers! :raritydespair:

My anxiousness for what will happen and how excited I was to see this updated after quite a while, I have faved this. I'm really curious. Though being the FlutterDash fan I am, I really want to see what happens... heh. Ah, I can't help it; my attention to small interactions with characters in shippings I support is incessant. With there being no romance tag, though, I can't tell, which makes me even more anxious to know what happens. It's a nice, cute little story so far.

Thanks, mate! I hope to update before too long! LOL! :derpytongue2:

Now I'm even more curious and anxious :rainbowlaugh:

Why do you have to kill with suspense :raritydespair:

Anyway, good job!

LOL! Glad you like the story, mate!

Awww, what a sweet end. Sad for Rainbow though, but like Fluttershy said; maybe one day. Are you going to do a sequel, or leave it at that? I'll be happy with whatever you decide.

Thanks for writing this.

Poor Rainbow Dash. Will there be a sequal to this?

Very nice! Poor Rainbow Dash.. :fluttershysad: It was nice that Fluttershy was honest about not being ready for a relationship. This was a great read!

As a Flutterdash fan, I wonder if you'll make a sequel where they get together :moustache:

Oh, and grats on getting featured! :twilightsmile:

If enough people want a sequel, I'll consider one. :derpytongue2:

It made me cry and I wann a sequel! MOAR! :flutterrage: 2152160

Oooh, I love this! Very heartwarming. It's so simple, short, yet almost perfect. I love the interaction between them, how realistic it is. I mean, really, I hate in fanfiction where both suddenly fall in love--or worse, if one confesses and the other goes with it as if they coincidentally loved that same person back. Call me an anti-romance person with that stuff, though I've read plenty of romance stories, but that just bothers me. You took a good direction and executed it very well. It's a strong, sweet fanfiction; 'tis a shame it doesn't have the many views it deserves. Really good job! If you ever write a sequel for this, since you said you're considering it, I greatly would love to see it.

sorry it made you cry, mate! :derpytongue2:
everything that you explained was my original intention! As stated, if enough people want a sequel [and by the looks of it, a LOT of people do], I shall consider one! :derpytongue2:

:fluttershysad: As a FlutterDash fan...yeah, obvious reaction. XD But, I do definitely give Fluttershy credit for being honest. It's not easy to do that, especially when you know you can make someone happy with that. But that's where you have to be there for yourself first. After all, it would just become even worse if you lied to them and yourself. It was great that Fluttershy was kind enough to do that.

...And yes, definitely make a sequel. :pinkiehappy: It really does have good potential for it. Fluttershy DID say maybe... XD But overall, it'd be an interesting notion. She gets some time to think it over, let it sink in, but doesn't overall let it ruin their friendship. Maybe in time she decides to give them being together a chance. Taking it really slow, kind of going along, the works.

As for the romance tag, it's hard to say. There is some level of romance in there, albeit one-sided. But usually the Romance tag is when it's straight up romance and isn't skirting the line. So it's hard to say! Considering it's the intention, yet so little, I'm not sure. XD

Comment posted by lolnopenothappening deleted Feb 22nd, 2013

I am totally considering a sequel, since many people want one. That "romance tag" bit was because many readers thought it would need it. I don't think it needs it, but still, it's up for debates. Glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for the review, mate! :derpytongue2:

2161937 Well, if you can think of a good story for one and be able to put it all together, you go for it. :pinkiehappy: And you're welcome! :twilightsmile:

I guess it kind of works either way, you know? It would help to have it, but at the same time, maybe not. If it was there, people are going to come into this expecting full out romance by the end. And when it's not there(the romance element, not the tag)...yeah, there'll be disappointment all around. Since it's more of a setup, it would make sense not to have it there yet. So, in a way, it might work a bit better if it's not there.

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