• Member Since 5th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 10th, 2021



Ponyville's premier pranksters pull Ponyville's princess into their latest prank, but after the town's rumor mill completely misconstrues the situation, Twilight finds herself in rather hot water.
Still, maybe getting that license isn't ALL bad...

Now with 100% more dramatic readings!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 161 )

Okay, I laughed. The commentary of the nervous guard is what pushed it over the line. Registering Rainbow Dash almost seemed mean-spirited enough to push it back, but then, RD is the prankster queen.

That line from the guard was absolutely priceless :rainbowlaugh:

God, I rolled on the floor laughing at it! I loved it!

Best fic ever I like fact that the laws only problem with it was that they wouldn't get their money. Lolz!


Dat guard. So helpful.

I like the delicious futa version of that pic :moustache:

Oh, so those services are legal in Equestria. Makes sense, what if you a pony had a cutie mark for it. You can make them illegal.

Twilight reached a hoof up and slapped Rainbow in the head.

Pimp slap!

Is Twilight Sparkle gonna have to choke a bitch?

Anyway, I was cracking up. Best part was when the guards showed up at the door.

All I can think is: :pinkiehappy: "Yay! Pinkie gets off scot-free."

:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:It hurts. My ribs, oh gods my ribs. What did they ever do to you. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

3335550 It also makes sense because that profession is only dangerous because it's illegal and, thus, unregulated. :D

Wait, what happened with Lyra? She's stalking Twilight, and then she just... disappears from the story. :rainbowhuh:

wow, was not expecting that :rainbowlaugh: glad i clicked on this now for i needed a good laugh. great job :twilightsmile:

3335276 Considering that Rainbow is the prankster queen, Twilight registering RD this way not only allowed her to get her back, but also gives Twilight leverage to keep Rainbow from trying to turn this into a massive prank war. Even if Rainbow gets her revenge (which we all know she will), with this 'threat' hanging over her she isn't likely to do anything too severe that Twi wouldn't be able to shrug off in good fun.

3335764 Lyra served her purpose. She was only after Twilight to up her count of unaware ponies that she'd hugged because Twilight was distracted at the time and hadn't noticed her. After running off to start the rumor mill, she had no reason to follow Twilight again unless she happened to run into her again (which she didn't).

3335622 That's what Dashie gets for making unnecessary quips to the law enforcement.

Somehow, the title doesn't seem to fit the picture and the summary.

I have to admit, I...didn't like this fic. At all. It's not that it was poorly written, it's just that I can't stand stories where charecters act stupid for no reason. Why were the guards acting that way? Why didn't they or the major believe not only a princess but also an upstanding member of the community. If it was a random pony I could understand, but not Twilight. It seems like they lost half their IQ points just to make the story work and that has always been a personal gripe of mine.
I won't downvote because, as I said, it was well written, but I felt the need to voice my objection.

“As much as I have to thank you for this rare opportunity Applejack, I would greatly appreciate if you could be a little less distracting.”
missing a comma in front of "Applejack"

3335895 I'm not gonna pretend to defend this. This isn't a serious story, not at all. It's something written on a whim because I figured it would be fun to write. I had fun writing it, even if it isn't my greatest piece of literature. That I managed to make some people laugh with this is all really hoped for out of it. I completely understand that it isn't your cup of tea, and I appreciate the politeness of your criticism. You're correct about those shortcomings. I didn't spend much time fretting over the logic because the entire premise is ridiculous to begin with. Here's hoping to something better on my next outing.:twilightsheepish:

3335915 Fixed, and thank you.:twilightsmile:

I just figured Princess Celestia found out and was having a little fun herself.

I mean, it doesn't seem like she has a purpose in the story. I guess she started the rumors that got the Guard involved? I missed that.

Ah, so Ponyville is in the Netherlands.

Well that was unexpected. Very nice :3

Now let us all imagine Twilight as a prostitute.
And that itself is weird.:facehoof:


You can even scratch the 'unregulated'. What remains dangerous about it if it's not regulated beyond standard business regulations? Prostitutes already have abnormally low levels of veneral disease even without regulation.


I applaud your willingness to write something silly. If only authors could reliably identify that that was what they were doing when they were doing it.

This was hilarious!. I mean Princess Twilight the Pimp. Silly Rainbow Dash.

I'd be penniless in days, Hyz.

Ah, well this is a comic I never expected a story from:twilightsheepish:
Nice little expansion you did on it:ajsmug:

“Normally I go for twenty bits, but for you I’ll go as low as ten.”

That sentence rang a bell. I knew I've seen it in a webcomic before.

3336435 Kudos to you. I was about to search for it myself, but that would've take ages. :ajsmug:

I really enjoyed this story, the comedy. It zigzagged the line of absurdity and, without ever straining to try for some kind of M.Night.Derpus, ahem, twist still cheerily richochets whereever it damn well pleases.

So, the guards and the mayor seem to be Lawful-Dumb, do they? Well...perhaps they are machinations in a greater prank altogether! For truely, would Pinkie simply cease to be involved in such a contest of aptitude, fortitude and pranktitude? I think not! Rainbow Dash is a pretender to the pranking throne! Hail Pinkie Pie, prankster ascendant!

Ah, but the question is, from Twilight, or Rainbow.

(The correct answer is Twilight of course.)

Twilight Sparkle.


Very clever. A great density of wit-to-word ratio, was fairly true to the characters.

Sexuality doesn't mean unintelligence and this was handled very well and maturely. Not just maturely.

Applejack raises a hoof to rub her chin. “So, twenty bits and I get to have fun with you, right?”
Shock washes over Rainbow’s face. “Y-yeah… Hey, you’re not actually–”
Rainbow is interrupted by another smack from Twilight. “Don’t try to dissuade customers.”
The orange mare contemplates the strange scene as the pieces slowly come together. “I see, so that’s how it is.” She nods excitedly. “Alright, deal.”

You switch to present tense a few times here.

Other than that, I got a good laugh.

I really love how the comedy and subject matter was handled, It was enjoyable and kept me guessing. Though from the time the royal guards show up, I was thinking perhaps princess Celestia was pulling a prank of her own on her favorite student :trollestia:

That was too far, alright. Hilarious! :pinkiehappy:


Though from the time the royal guards show up, I was thinking perhaps princess Celestia was pulling a prank of her own on her favorite student :trollestia:

You know, I think you're on to something here.

So, prostitution is legal in Equestria if you've registered as a an official prostitute? I don't think I like that. Funny story, but that whole thing just kind of freaked me out.


Don't go to France then, it's the same set up there.

3336969 Thanks for the tip! I probably wouldn't have gone anyway. I'm just far too busy being lazy.

The guards, citizens and mayor should know the mane 6 better. :facehoof:


I agree with what the other guy said but i still enjoyed it.

have a cookie for your silly story!

3335947 Point goes to the author. Although avoiding the idiot-ball may improve some stories, idiocy may be justified by "I need this moment of nonsense to move the story." A world in which every character behaves logically would have very few interesting stories, as all forms of conflict would be solved in a way that minimizes loss of resources. For example, Nightmare Moon would never occur because she would realize that eternal night prevents growing of food, which leads to starvation, which leads to nopony being around to appreciate her night, which defeats the original purpose of eternal night.

3337038 better than what? During the last two years the mane six managed to accidentally level half of the town twice. And overrun it with Pinkie clones. No story about them is too weird to be believable.


I really cannot understand how that would be a bad thing. If people want to fuck people for money than that's their and their customers' choice.
Don't like prostitution? Don't go to a prostitute. It's the same with gay marriage. Why would that be illegal?

I think Princess Molestia is about to go on a binge

3336084 That was precisely her purpose. She started the rumor mill.

3336284 I agree. Trying to pass off a ridiculous story as something serious never works out well. I've found that if I have a silly idea for a story, it's much better for the end product if I revel in the silliness and just let it go where it needs to. If I can have fun writing it, and others can enjoy what I write, that's a win in my book.

3336395>>3336541 Penniless indeed. I'd be right there with ya, man. And no, Blue, that isn't a choice. Clearly the only sensible option is to take both of them at once.:heart:

3336580 Fixed, and thank you.

3336903 Also stay out of Las Vegas. And a few other European countries.

3337161 Sweet! I love cookies!:pinkiesmile:

3337430 Precisely. Not to mention the various positives that come with registration and regulation. Government gets more revenue from taxes, the prostitutes (who are going to be around regardless) are no longer criminals, so they can actually be protected from dangerous situations by the police; leading to an all around safer work environment.

3337174 Yes, yes. So much this. The world's most classic stories often have massive idiot ball moments. Take Romeo and Juliet. If they hadn't been so hasty about everything, they probably would have lived. Even so, an author does need to take care not to make those lapses of logic too jarring to the readers, else you end up breaking suspension of belief.

3337243 3337038 Nevermind that Twilight alone is responsible for causing parasprites to eat damn near the entire town, all because of a single misused spell. Like ya say, the mane six are not perfect, model citizens. The amount of slack they already get from the town is quite simply dumbfounding.

3337430 I'm not trying to start any fights, but don't under any circumstance compare prostitution and gay rights. Prostitution is selling your body, you only get one, for money. A person's body is a sacred temple, you don't want strangers destroying that temple because it's special. It's called making love for a reason. That's how children are brought into this world. Sex isn't something that people should just pay for. Prostitution is a terrible thing. Gay marriage is completely great and everybody should respect that. Everyone deserves to love each other. Sex just for money isn't love. Prostitution shouldn't be legal because that's a choice. They choose to do that. Also, if you've seen those shows on TV, you'll see that prostitution can lead to death and many other terrible things. Now, I still like this story, but I will never support prostitution ever. It's disgusting.

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