Equestria was attacked by demons after a crack to Tartarus opened. The races of the world gathered together to push back the tide of demons so the Elements of Harmony could get close enough to close the crack. Everyone played their part and the day was won, but not without loss.
The six mares of the Elements of Harmony now must say good-bye to a dear friend that wasn't even of their world to begin with. His last request is to simply hear them sing a song before he passes on.
-----
One-Shotober Story#6 10/6/2013
Thanks to Mr101 and Timps for pre-reading
Chapters (1)
Feels
3308568 The amount is to dang high but who cares. They deserve to be that high.
*sniffle ssniffle* *looks up* uh i'm not crying i just ah got something in my eye yes! something in my eye
Great one-shot, found a typo in the summary though.
loss
that was an awesome one shot
If this was made into a full length fic, with the battle and everything, I would totally read it.
I noticed a fair bit of grammatical errors. I'll put them in quotes and number them.
Now, I'll correct them.
1. Don't capitalize griffons, minotaurs, and dragons. They're not proper plural. Put a space between 'stopped.' and 'They'. Put an 'of' in between 'pits' and 'Tartarus' and change 'was' to 'were'.
2. Put a comma after 'However' and change 'mare' to 'mares'.
3. Put a comma in between 'horror' and 'seeing'. Change 'rush' to 'rushed', because it's present-tense and the rest are past-tense.
4. Put a comma in between 'John' and 'hold'.
5. Remove the spaces after the ellipses (the '...') and put an apostrophe between the 'n' and 's' in 'Johns'.
6. Put a comma between 'said' and 'putting', and an apostrophe in between the 't' and 's' in 'Lets'.
7. Remove the space between the comma and the apostrophe.
8. Put a comma in between 'right' and 'Twi'. Remove the 'by' and change 'giving' to 'give' and change the second period to a comma.
9. Remove the double space between 'friend' and 'was'
10. Put a comma between 'tears' and 'but'.
11. Put a comma between 'night' and 'however'.
12. Change 'eight ponies length wide' to 'eight ponies wide'.
13. Put a period after 'John'.
14. Put commas between 'badger' and 'unable', 'it' and 'when', and 'from' and 'which'.
15. Change 'sooth' (which means 'truth') to 'soothe' (which means 'to gently calm', which is what you mean).
16. Put a comma between 'however' and 'between'.
17. Change 'lead' (which is present-tense) to 'led' (which is past-tense).
18. Put a period or exclamation mark in between 'Party' and the quotation mark.
19. Put a 'the' in front of 'Grand'. Change 'It didn't sound like something he would enjoy, or the six mares he was friends with' to 'It didn't sound like something he or the six mares he was friends with would enjoy'.
20. Put a comma in between 'However' and 'Rarity'. Change 'manikin' (which isn't a word) to 'mannequin' (which means a large doll to use as a basis to make clothes).
21. Change 'Rainbow Dash and John were on a hill just on the outskirts of Ponyville. Both panting and tired from the training and sparring they were going through.' to 'Rainbow Dash and John were on a hill just on the outskirts of Ponyville, both panting and tired from the training and sparring they were going through.' Put an apostrophe in between the 'w' and 's' in 'Rainbows'. Put a comma in between 'other' and 'ready'.
22. Put commas in between 'other' and 'waiting', 'first' and 'using', 'side' and 'causing', and 'blocked' and 'he'.
23. Change 'John gathered his stuff up to leave. When a sudden realization hit her.' to 'John gathered his stuff up to leave when a sudden realization hit her.'
24. Put a comma in between 'trees' and 'making'.
25. Put a comma in between 'Applejack' and 'however'.
26. Put a comma in between 'of' and 'John'. Put an apostrophe in between the 'k' and 's' in 'Applejacks'.
27. Put a comma in between 'way' and 'John'. Put an apostrophe in between the 'k' and 's' in 'Applejacks'. Put another comma in between 'huff' and 'knowing'. Change 'till' to 'until'. You never want to use 'till' unless a character is thinking or speaking it.
28. Change 'closed his eyes for the last time. A smile on his face as he breathed his last.' to 'closed his eyes for the last time, a smile on his face as he breathed his last.'
That's everything I found. My advice is to use a word processing program like Microsoft Word, and then copy-paste it when you create a story. Word processors warn you when something doesn't make sense. Keep in mind, however, that a word processor does not replace a pre-reader, as it will not pick up on everything. I speak from experience.
Good story. I like the premise, and the song moved me while reading the Mane 6's accounts of John. I'd be happy to pre-read anything else you want me to.
wow that a lot of stuff to fix. I will fix them next time i get a chance. Thank you for pointing them out.
feels so mutch feels
need more 
As great as that song was, I found this more fitting:
I'm not saying that it was a bad choice, I'm just saying I personally found this better. Anyway, critic mode on. That was a fantastic one-shot, I'd love to read a full-length story of it. Had so many feels and while it was brief it gave great accuracy as to where it was going. I love it.
Well, bravo! This is probably the first and only human in Equestria fic that I've ever liked. Ever. Keep up the good work! You earned a follower.
How the bloody hell did you manage to misspell "stars"?
3315548 bad spelling is my special talent.
fixed by the way.
3312543>>3316276 I like them and they do fit very well with the mood, defiantly the Dragonheart one(great movie too).
I would really like a full story about this.
this story is so sad
(the feels the feels
)
Y u do dis 2 me?
3747554 Because I'm Awesome
3748940
3311676
No, death is always kind to us all. He might not able to return to earth but atleast he had a new home to die for.
4399960 I got something for you. Life and death are the ultimate lovers. Life is always giving death gifts, and death never let's them go, cherishing them forever.
Now he goes flying among angels. I can see him coming back if the daemons return with an army of angelic warriors.
7105715
ERK!!!!! ( feels arrows used on shadow.... it's super effective. KO!!!!!)
3316276
i know this song is from dragonheart but i think some of this song was used in pokemon the movie (2001 i believe)
Farewell, good hunter. May you find your worth in the waking world.
8804202
Their are some similar songs but not the actual song. But I do love the music form that movie as well.
. . .
*BOOM!*
*looks at scorch-mark where T.U.B. Class S was standing*
... he'll be back in a moment... maybe... but to sum up his reaction: that last time he felt this many feels? Past Sins, and that was a long story.
And you made him feel the same amount of feels, in a one-shot, be impressed with yourself.
*POP!*
Hey, boss is back.
Yes and-
I already summed it up for them.
Not no- wait... you did?
Yes.
Really?
*rolls eyes with a smile* *chuckles* Yeah, I did boss.
... thanks. *makes panel appear* *typing noises*
Eh, boss-?
Not now, later, when we aren't in the comment section of a story, speaking of which.
*BOOP-*
Masterfully done, friend. You've inspired me.