• Published 6th Oct 2013
  • 5,057 Views, 31 Comments

I'm Here - DVAN56



After an epic battle to save Equestra. The Mane 6 must say good-bye to a dear friend.

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I'm Here

I’m Here

The battle was won, but not without loss. All across the field laid the the bodies of the dead or dieing. Ponies, Griffons, Diamond Dogs, Minotaurs, Dragons, they all fought bravely against the horde of demons so they could be stopped.They fought so the Elements of Harmony could get close enough to seal the crack that had opened from the pits Tartarus which was spewing demons into the world. The Elements succeeded, and the survivors looked out onto the field both sad and grateful for the sacrifice their kin had made to ensure their worlds survival.

However the six mare that made up the Elements of Harmony were looking for someone in particular. A friend that was not from Equestria, a human that was always looking for a way home. They had befriended and helped him during his struggles adjusting to the new life forced upon him. Over the years he became a great friend and even saw the six mares as sisters. So much so that he was willing to protect them no matter what, like any brother would do.

The Elements found him on the field of battle, laying broken and bloodied on the ground. They looked at the sight in horror seeing fragments of demon horns and claws that had pierced his armor still stuck in him. The six rush to his side, tears filled their eyes as the only sound they heard coming from him was the weak, raspy sound of his breathing.

“John hold on!” Twilight yelled with tears running down her face as she started to run faster.

“Hey…Twilight… did we win?” John asked, his voice so weak that it sounded like a whisper.

“Yes, now hold on! We are going to get you help. Just hold on!” Twilight said through her tears.

“Oh my.” Fluttershy said as she and the rest of the mares got closer.

It was clear by looking at John’s body he wasn’t going to live much longer. His wounds were too great and too much blood had been lost. The fact he was still alive was a miracle in itself.

“Girls… can… you sing… that song... I use... to sing... when I first... arrived,” Johns voice got weaker with each word.

“Don’t talk like that!” Twilight shouted.

“Twilight, dear,” Rarity said putting a hoof on Twilights shoulders “He isn’t going to make it. Lets at least give him the song before he leaves.”

“But, ” Twilight sobbed

“Rarity’s right Twi. There's not a lick we can do for him now then let him pass peacefully and by giving him his last request.” Applejack said sadly as she removed her stetson.

Twilight looked over the faces of her friends. They all shared the same sad look on their faces and the sadder truth about John in their eyes. Her friend, their friend, was going to die and they couldn’t stop it.

Twilight couldn’t stop the tears but she lifted her head up and began to sing.


Twilight was looking up at the starry night, admiring its beauty and wonders. A work of art that could only be seen at night. She would sometimes wonder if there was more than just the stars and moon in the sky, something hidden in the blackness waiting for the right time to reveal itself.

This night however she would wonder no more. Twilight let out a gasp as she saw a streak of red form in the sky off in the distance. The streak of red was getting bigger as if it was approaching her direction. She couldn’t help but keep her eyes on it as it moved closer. Before she knew it the streak was right over Ponyville and low enough to the ground to make out that it was a small ball of fire. She watched it as it flew over the library and into the Everfree with a mighty boom.

Twilight wasted little time making her way from Ponyville to the crater. She was curious on what that ball of fire did, and if it really was just fire or something more. She got to the site where the fire ball landed and was greeted by a fiery crater that was about eight ponies length wide. The land had been blackened and the few trees around the crater had a few burning branches. Twilight didn’t notice these things as her gaze was focused on what was in the center of the crater. A creature she had never seen before curled up in a ball and apparently unhurt.

What she found was John


Fluttershy stepped forward to stand next to Twilight and started to sing with her.


Fluttershy was chasing a misbehaving badger. He was being mean to the other animals she took care of without a care in the world. When Fluttershy confronted the badger, it just snorted at her and ran off. She had been tracking it but it was weaving in and out of the border of the Everfree knowing the shy pegasus would not enter unless she felt she really had to.

Fluttershy was almost ready to give up on the badger unable to keep up with it when she heard the sound of somepony crying. She faced the direction the crying was coming from which was the Everfree. Part of her was afraid of what was lurking in the dark forest but her kind heart wouldn’t let her leave a crying pony alone without trying to help them feel better.

Fluttershy walked through the forest following the sound of the crying. She came to a fallen tree, sitting on it was John, face in his hands crying. Fluttershy knew of John from Twilight but this was the first time she actually got to see him as Twilight wanted to keep him out of the site of other ponies till they figured out how to handle the situation.

Any other pony would have thought twice before approaching the human. Something about him emanated fear as all the creatures of the forest kept their distance from him. Fluttershy too felt this fear, however she could sense Johns sadness and loneliness. She fought her fear and started to walk closer to John as he was still crying.

Fluttershy jumped up onto the log next to John and gave him a hug to help sooth his sadness. John stopped the crying and looked at his side as a yellow and pink pegasus was hugging him.


Pinkie Pie walked up next, positioning herself on the other side of Twilight. Her voice now added to the song.


Pinkie was bouncing happily behind John, leading him through town while he was blindfolded. She had been waiting for this day for a long time. She wanted this to be both the most memorable and wonderful party in Ponyville’s history. But she had to wait for the right time so John wouldn't freak out or the ponies of town would do the same.

It had been months since John first landed in their world. Months that had been hard on the human. Being torn away from home with no way back, the homesickness and depression weighed heavily on John. Pinkie would often find him alone singing to himself, mostly sad slow songs.

However between the efforts of Twilight and Fluttershy, John started to feel more at ease. He started making friends among the ponies, and the ponies in turn became friends with him. He still missed home, terribly so, but now he had friends at his side to keep his spirits up, or a shoulder to cry on when needed.

Pinkie had lead him to Applejack's barn and removed his blindfold. She motioned for John to enter, which he did. The inside of the barn was dark and nothing could be seen… at first.

In the blink of an eye the barn was lit up as confetti and streamers filled the air. From the rafter hung a sign that read “Late Welcome to Equestria Party”


Rarity followed suit and walked up next to Fluttershy before singing.


Rarity had brought John to her boutique to get him clothes for a very special event happening in Canterlot, Grand Galloping Gala. He wasn't told much about the event other then it was a fancy party for the nobles. It didn't sound like something he would enjoy, or the six mares he was friends with, but they were invited by Celestia herself. So he went along with it.

John was standing perfectly still as Rarity was making the finishing touches to the tuxedo she had made for him. However Rarity did not have a human shaped manikin to work with and got John to help her. John stood nervously as Rarity moved her needle back and forth through the fabric with grace and precision. He didn't doubt Rarity’s skill but the thought of the needle stabbing him was plaguing his mind and making him uneasy.

They were almost done, all that was left to do was the pants. John had requested that area be done last because of how “sensitive” that area was. John was sweating bullets now, and Rarity could see the nervousness in his eyes. Rarity was even working slower to make sure this area would not get an accidental prick from the needle.

Rarity only had one more stitch left to do when the door opened with a slam and the sound of her younger sister and friends could be heard. Rarity was startled by how her sister had arrived and her concentration slipped, as did the needle.


Rainbow Dash, trying her best to look tough and not cry, walked up next to Pinkie, adding her voice to the song.


Rainbow Dash and John were on a hill just on the outskirts of Ponyville. Both panting and tired from the training and sparring they were going through. A few bruises could be seen on John’s arms while Rainbows mane and feathers were a complete mess. The two martial artists looked at each other ready for one more round before the sun set.

The two circled each other waiting for a moment to strike. Rainbow Dash struck out first using her wings to push herself forward while striking out with her hoof. John blocked the attack, using his hand to knock the hoof to the side causing it to graze his shoulder instead of smacking him straight in the chest. Just as quickly as he blocked he rose the elbow of his free arm up to hit Rainbow Dash in the face. Rainbow couldn't stop herself and rammed right into John's elbow.

Rainbow Dash fell to the ground and John let out a small chuckle. He bent down and lent a hand to help her up. Dash grabbed his hand with her hoof and pulled herself up. She started patting her fur to get the dust while John gathered his stuff up to leave. When a sudden realization hit her.

“One more match, we can’t leave today being a tie!”


Applejack put her stetson back on as she walked up next to Rarity, adding her voice to the song.


Applejack was wincing in pain while being carried over John’s shoulder. The two had gone into the Everfree to check on the Zap Apple trees making sure they were healthy so they would be productive later in year. All was going fine and the trees checked out when Timberwolves showed up.

The two were able to fend off the Timberwolves, Applejack busting them into pieces with well placed bucks and John bashing them with a staff he had. One of the wolves had gotten the jump on Applejack however and pounced on her. She yelled in pain as the Timberwolf’s claws sunk into her flank and teeth into her hind leg. John was quick to dispatch the Timberwolf with a blow to the head from his staff.

With the wolves taken care of John went to take care of Applejacks wounds. He used his shirt for makeshift bandages to stop the bleeding. It soon became clear that Applejack wasn't able to walk on her back legs with her injures. Unable to carry her any other way John threw her onto his shoulders and set off to leave the forest.

Before starting their trek back out of the forest, John took Applejacks stetson and put it on his own head. Applejack gave a huff knowing she was unable to get her hat back till they got out of the forest.


John heard the soft singing voices of the mares he was proud to call his friends as he closed his eyes for the last time. A smile on his face as he breathed his last.

The mares looked down at John’s body, their tears freely flowing as they cried.

Their moment of sorrow was quickly turned to that of wonder as Johns body started to glow with a soft golden light. Before any of the mares could react Johns body burst into millions of glowing golden specks that floated up to the sky, going back to the stars which John first came from.

Author's Note:

Inspired by the song "Mother, I'm Here" and the the part in Bation where the song plays (spoiler) choosing to save Zulf
Point out Errors and Feedback please

Comments ( 30 )

3308568 The amount is to dang high but who cares. They deserve to be that high.

*sniffle ssniffle* *looks up* uh i'm not crying i just ah got something in my eye yes! something in my eye

Lab

Great one-shot, found a typo in the summary though.

but not without loose

loss

that was an awesome one shot

If this was made into a full length fic, with the battle and everything, I would totally read it. :pinkiehappy:

I noticed a fair bit of grammatical errors. I'll put them in quotes and number them.

1. Ponies, Griffons, Diamond Dogs, Minotaurs, Dragons, they all fought bravely against the horde of demons so they could be stopped.They fought so the Elements of Harmony could get close enough to seal the crack that had opened from the pits Tartarus which was spewing demons into the world.
2. However the six mare that made up the Elements of Harmony were looking for someone in particular.
3. The Elements found him on the field of battle, laying broken and bloodied on the ground. They looked at the sight in horror seeing fragments of demon horns and claws that had pierced his armor still stuck in him. The six rush to his side, tears filled their eyes as the only sound they heard coming from him was the weak, raspy sound of his breathing.
4. “John hold on!” Twilight yelled with tears running down her face as she started to run faster.
5. “Girls… can… you sing… that song... I use... to sing... when I first... arrived,” Johns voice got weaker with each word.
6. “Twilight, dear,” Rarity said putting a hoof on Twilights shoulders “He isn’t going to make it. Lets at least give him the song before he leaves.”
7. “But, ” Twilight sobbed
8. “Rarity’s right Twi. There's not a lick we can do for him now then let him pass peacefully and by giving him his last request.” Applejack said sadly as she removed her stetson.
9. Her friend, their friend, was going to die and they couldn’t stop it.
10. Twilight couldn’t stop the tears but she lifted her head up and began to sing.
11. This night however she would wonder no more.
12. She got to the site where the fire ball landed and was greeted by a fiery crater that was about eight ponies length wide.
13. What she found was John
14. Fluttershy was almost ready to give up on the badger unable to keep up with it when she heard the sound of somepony crying. She faced the direction the crying was coming from which was the Everfree.
15. Fluttershy jumped up onto the log next to John and gave him a hug to help sooth his sadness.
16. However between the efforts of Twilight and Fluttershy, John started to feel more at ease. He started making friends among the ponies, and the ponies in turn became friends with him.
17. Pinkie had lead him to Applejack's barn and removed his blindfold.
18. From the rafter hung a sign that read “Late Welcome to Equestria Party”
19. Rarity had brought John to her boutique to get him clothes for a very special event happening in Canterlot, Grand Galloping Gala. He wasn't told much about the event other then it was a fancy party for the nobles. It didn't sound like something he would enjoy, or the six mares he was friends with, but they were invited by Celestia herself.
20. However Rarity did not have a human shaped manikin to work with and got John to help her.
21. Rainbow Dash and John were on a hill just on the outskirts of Ponyville. Both panting and tired from the training and sparring they were going through. A few bruises could be seen on John’s arms while Rainbows mane and feathers were a complete mess. The two martial artists looked at each other ready for one more round before the sun set.
22. The two circled each other waiting for a moment to strike. Rainbow Dash struck out first using her wings to push herself forward while striking out with her hoof. John blocked the attack, using his hand to knock the hoof to the side causing it to graze his shoulder instead of smacking him straight in the chest. Just as quickly as he blocked he rose the elbow of his free arm up to hit Rainbow Dash in the face. Rainbow couldn't stop herself and rammed right into John's elbow.
23. She started patting her fur to get the dust while John gathered his stuff up to leave. When a sudden realization hit her.
“One more match, we can’t leave today being a tie!”
24. The two had gone into the Everfree to check on the Zap Apple trees making sure they were healthy so they would be productive later in year.
25. The two were able to fend off the Timberwolves, Applejack busting them into pieces with well placed bucks and John bashing them with a staff he had. One of the wolves had gotten the jump on Applejack however and pounced on her.
26. With the wolves taken care of John went to take care of Applejacks wounds.
27. Unable to carry her any other way John threw her onto his shoulders and set off to leave the forest.
Before starting their trek back out of the forest, John took Applejacks stetson and put it on his own head. Applejack gave a huff knowing she was unable to get her hat back till they got out of the forest.
28. John heard the soft singing voices of the mares he was proud to call his friends as he closed his eyes for the last time. A smile on his face as he breathed his last.

Now, I'll correct them.

1. Don't capitalize griffons, minotaurs, and dragons. They're not proper plural. Put a space between 'stopped.' and 'They'. Put an 'of' in between 'pits' and 'Tartarus' and change 'was' to 'were'.
2. Put a comma after 'However' and change 'mare' to 'mares'.
3. Put a comma in between 'horror' and 'seeing'. Change 'rush' to 'rushed', because it's present-tense and the rest are past-tense.
4. Put a comma in between 'John' and 'hold'.
5. Remove the spaces after the ellipses (the '...') and put an apostrophe between the 'n' and 's' in 'Johns'.
6. Put a comma between 'said' and 'putting', and an apostrophe in between the 't' and 's' in 'Lets'.
7. Remove the space between the comma and the apostrophe.
8. Put a comma in between 'right' and 'Twi'. Remove the 'by' and change 'giving' to 'give' and change the second period to a comma.
9. Remove the double space between 'friend' and 'was'
10. Put a comma between 'tears' and 'but'.
11. Put a comma between 'night' and 'however'.
12. Change 'eight ponies length wide' to 'eight ponies wide'.
13. Put a period after 'John'.
14. Put commas between 'badger' and 'unable', 'it' and 'when', and 'from' and 'which'.
15. Change 'sooth' (which means 'truth') to 'soothe' (which means 'to gently calm', which is what you mean).
16. Put a comma between 'however' and 'between'.
17. Change 'lead' (which is present-tense) to 'led' (which is past-tense).
18. Put a period or exclamation mark in between 'Party' and the quotation mark.
19. Put a 'the' in front of 'Grand'. Change 'It didn't sound like something he would enjoy, or the six mares he was friends with' to 'It didn't sound like something he or the six mares he was friends with would enjoy'.
20. Put a comma in between 'However' and 'Rarity'. Change 'manikin' (which isn't a word) to 'mannequin' (which means a large doll to use as a basis to make clothes).
21. Change 'Rainbow Dash and John were on a hill just on the outskirts of Ponyville. Both panting and tired from the training and sparring they were going through.' to 'Rainbow Dash and John were on a hill just on the outskirts of Ponyville, both panting and tired from the training and sparring they were going through.' Put an apostrophe in between the 'w' and 's' in 'Rainbows'. Put a comma in between 'other' and 'ready'.
22. Put commas in between 'other' and 'waiting', 'first' and 'using', 'side' and 'causing', and 'blocked' and 'he'.
23. Change 'John gathered his stuff up to leave. When a sudden realization hit her.' to 'John gathered his stuff up to leave when a sudden realization hit her.'
24. Put a comma in between 'trees' and 'making'.
25. Put a comma in between 'Applejack' and 'however'.
26. Put a comma in between 'of' and 'John'. Put an apostrophe in between the 'k' and 's' in 'Applejacks'.
27. Put a comma in between 'way' and 'John'. Put an apostrophe in between the 'k' and 's' in 'Applejacks'. Put another comma in between 'huff' and 'knowing'. Change 'till' to 'until'. You never want to use 'till' unless a character is thinking or speaking it.
28. Change 'closed his eyes for the last time. A smile on his face as he breathed his last.' to 'closed his eyes for the last time, a smile on his face as he breathed his last.'

That's everything I found. My advice is to use a word processing program like Microsoft Word, and then copy-paste it when you create a story. Word processors warn you when something doesn't make sense. Keep in mind, however, that a word processor does not replace a pre-reader, as it will not pick up on everything. I speak from experience.

Good story. I like the premise, and the song moved me while reading the Mane 6's accounts of John. I'd be happy to pre-read anything else you want me to.

wow that a lot of stuff to fix. I will fix them next time i get a chance. Thank you for pointing them out.:twilightsmile:

feels so mutch feels :pinkiesad2: need more :pinkiecrazy:

As great as that song was, I found this more fitting:

I'm not saying that it was a bad choice, I'm just saying I personally found this better. Anyway, critic mode on. That was a fantastic one-shot, I'd love to read a full-length story of it. Had so many feels and while it was brief it gave great accuracy as to where it was going. I love it. :pinkiehappy:

Well, bravo! This is probably the first and only human in Equestria fic that I've ever liked. Ever. Keep up the good work! You earned a follower.

Comment posted by Leather deleted Oct 7th, 2013

How the bloody hell did you manage to misspell "stars"?

3315548 bad spelling is my special talent. :derpytongue2:

fixed by the way.

3312543>>3316276 I like them and they do fit very well with the mood, defiantly the Dragonheart one(great movie too).

I would really like a full story about this.

this story is so sad:fluttercry:(the feels the feels:flutterrage::flutterrage:)

3747554 Because I'm Awesome:trollestia:

3311676

No, death is always kind to us all. He might not able to return to earth but atleast he had a new home to die for.

4399960 I got something for you. Life and death are the ultimate lovers. Life is always giving death gifts, and death never let's them go, cherishing them forever.

Now he goes flying among angels. I can see him coming back if the daemons return with an army of angelic warriors.

7105715
ERK!!!!! ( feels arrows used on shadow.... it's super effective. KO!!!!!)

3316276
i know this song is from dragonheart but i think some of this song was used in pokemon the movie (2001 i believe)

Farewell, good hunter. May you find your worth in the waking world.

8804202
Their are some similar songs but not the actual song. But I do love the music form that movie as well.

. . .

*BOOM!*

*looks at scorch-mark where T.U.B. Class S was standing*

... he'll be back in a moment... maybe... but to sum up his reaction: that last time he felt this many feels? Past Sins, and that was a long story.
And you made him feel the same amount of feels, in a one-shot, be impressed with yourself.

*POP!*

Hey, boss is back.

Yes and-

I already summed it up for them.

Not no- wait... you did?

Yes.

Really?

*rolls eyes with a smile* *chuckles* Yeah, I did boss.

... thanks. *makes panel appear* *typing noises*

Eh, boss-?

Not now, later, when we aren't in the comment section of a story, speaking of which.

*BOOP-*

Masterfully done, friend. You've inspired me.

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