• Member Since 29th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 17th, 2018

DVAN56


I'm just a writer from a crazy place called Ohio

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Every night Derpy tells her daughter, Dinky, a bedtime story. Dinky usually asks to hear one about the many decorations that are in Derpy's room as each one has a story behind it. Yet there was one that she was always a little reluctant to ask about for how out of place it seemed to be. A battleaxe hanging on the wall right over the bed.

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Humanized
Thanks to Mr101, Berry Punch, TheExhaustedBrony, and Timps for Pre-Reading
One-Shotober Story#4 10/4/2013

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 17 )

Time Lord, I vote Time Lord.

Intriguing backstory, clever use of humanization, and just the right level of adorable child.

I think you have a winner on your hands.

now you've got me wanting that story for another time.

i wanna know what happened to the father!

Very well done, short but sweet. I do hope that there will be more... now who could be the father....

Very nice story.
I always like the stories like this.
Good luck best wishes

Probably whatever the unicorn race would be in this setting I think... assuming he various ponies translate to races. Only they and the alicorns seem to have royal titles that we've seen so far.

3299803 Looks like I need to ready my knife:pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy: GET OVER HERE:flutterrage:

That was pretty cute. Kinda rushed, though - it's good to hear you're planning on expanding it because it could definitely need it.

My main complaint, though, is that you constantly begin a new paragraph when it's not necessary. You only need to start a new paragraph when a new character is speaking or the focus shifts. (But not when a characters speaks after the focus already shifted to her.) Don't be afraid of longer paragraphs, it's much better than having the text feel too chopped up since that messes with the flow.

Not sure I see any reason this needs to be humanized, especially since there are apparently griffons and dragons as well. I read this picturing them as ponies and it didn't make any differance to me. (Aside from the boob fondling, I suppose, but that could easily have been replaced by some other obscene act.)

3299803

Don't be ridiculous.

He's obviously Gallifreyan. :pinkiecrazy:

So... a guy falls in love with a women at first sight... begins following her around all the time, she constantly gets into big battles, he saves her then gropes her and she knocks him out with a battle ax... and this goes on for five years????

Wow, pretty interesting story, yep is spelled incorrectly though.

Derpy and her battleaxe... Now that I think about it, I've NEVER seen an axe-wielding human or pony. For spear-wielders, Shining Armor comes to mind. Fluttershy's a great swordswoman... or swordsmare. There should be a Fire Emblem crossover!

The picture, of derpy holding that battle axe, for the story gave me an erection

I'm sorry, this is a Dr. Who reference or is there context I'm missing?

Derpy in that picture = hawt. 😍

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