• Member Since 20th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 2nd, 2017

James Rye


Servus, name´s James Rye. I´m a mix of brony, geek, otaku and nerd. My goal is to write 100 MLP-fics. Dunno how many years that gonna take though. XD

T
Source

Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash have tied the knot. After their grand wedding, they packed for their honeymoon, excited for what Princess Luna has planned for them. But, when they find out Luna had taken “honeymoon” literally, they realize their vacation place will be anything like they expected, and that they’re in for a fun and adventurous ride.Twilight and Rainbow will experience the most unique honeymoon a couple could have: on the moon!

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Some infos for new readers:
thestrals = batpony
+
This fic is partly based on the IDW comics, namely the Nightmare Moon return arc. Since not all members of the bronydom are reading them I have linked a couple pictures for better understanding how some characters in the fic looks like:
Larry, Jerone and Buffy
Here besides Fluttershy we see Larry and Jerome with their new baby, Miss Buffy or for short Buffy. They were shadow creatures under Nightmare Moon's order and had done terrible things (for a kids show) which will explained further in the fic.
Here a closer look on the beautiful Buffy:
Buffy in all her beauty
You take the words out of my mouth, Fluttershy.^^
And cause all good things are three, a fanart drawn by Opallene:
The first offical gay family in MLP

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 58 )

Just by the description it sounds as if you are planning on having Luna send them to the moon which she hasn't been capable of doing canon. She doesn't have such ability and Celestia could only do it because she used the Elements of Harmony.

I hope I am wrong and they go to the moon in another way because the premise sounds interesting.

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Below the description is a small Info panel. In it I wrote that this fic is based partly on the IDW comics of MLP. Since those comic writers and artists work together with the writers and studio of MLP and have for example early access to the scripts of S4, I consider them canon. Though not all bronies would agree with that. Then again alot seem to like the comics.
In the comics Luna IS able to travel to the moon, the Mane6 actually traveled to the moon via a rope. No, not kidding, it was a magical rope. XD
And the moon had plants, weird animals and air to breath and the ponies walked normally on it to! Plus there were the into nightmare shadows turned moonfolks who yearned for the return of Nightmare Moon and thus ponynapped Rarity and transformed her into Nightmare Rarity! And that ***** broke Spike's little heart!!! :flutterrage:
*Ähem*
Anyway, thank you very much for commenting and I can assure you they will travel on a different way. Since I don't use a magical rope and don't want the moon to hang just ten kilometres over Equestria I had to use some spells to make this a "realistic" (in MLP magic science that is XD) travel. But don't worry, Luna and Rainbow will spell nerd all over the travel with poor Dashie being the third wheel.^^

PS: If you have time and money then please check out the MLP comics as well, most of them are really good. The Micro series of it is so-so but the main one is great. :twilightsmile:

3278507 I don't consider non episode stuff like comics or extra "hasbro wants to sell you shit and get away with doing so" stuff as canon. Honestly a magical rope?

Also I know Luna can go to the moon since she has the power to move it, I just don't see her with the ability to send people there otherwise episode one of MLP would have ended differently... aka Luna would have won and the show would have ended.

3278519

To be fair, it was a very long rope. That and Luna pulled the moon closer so that it was easier to get caught with an lasso. :rainbowlaugh:
Well, she isn't really sending them there in my fic. She can't, but she can travel them to it. That's different from the banishment Celestia used on Nightmare Moon as it basically teleported her up there, which is already a giant feat with that distance, and then forced her to stay on it aka bound her there magically.
However, from what I heard what the comic writer do is mostly done with talks of the show writers. After all they don't want Fluttershy go too assertive or Rarity too bitchy or stuff like that. The lore about Nightmare Moon and her shadow minions is a nice add to her chara and I really like it. Same with the idea that Luna wasn't really alone on the moon but surrounded in her Nightmare form by of her dark magic turned shadow beasts who followed her every order and awaited a forever night as much as she did. :)

About the money, Hasbro makes money with the episodes too after all those sell all their toys. Like the tortoise as RD'S pet. An hasbro idea and one the writers made a very entertaining episode about an nods in other episodes. Plus Tank is one of the coolest pets ever, flying tortoise for the win! <3
I see the comics the same way, when they are good and well entertaining, then they are good and well entertaining. Hasbro be damned but as long as I get good quality for few bucks I won't throw shit at them. Plus I doubt they would bother much given the death threats they get from some crazy bronies every week. XD

3278571 You do understand the concept of tank right? Tank represents the tortoise as Angel Bunny represents the hare.

While they are opposites their usually symbolically linked as with RD and Fluttershy.

Fluttershy is slow and timid while Angel Bunny is fast and arrogant.

RD is fast and arrogant while Tank is slow and timid. (he hides in his shell a lot.)

Anyways I shall give this a read tomorrow when I am not trying to sleep and if I like it I will give it a like and wait for updates.

Though I am a stickler for stories being somewhat close to canon and have been known to get miffed when sudden upgrades are given to characters with no explanation.

But seriously a fucking rope allowed the mane 6 to travel to the moon? I don't think that will ever make it into the cartoon since the premise seems even too ridiculous for MLP.

But hey if they mention it in the show then I guess that is validation that the comics are meant to continue on where the show left off and are part of the canon storyline.

But from what I heard the comics tend to stray from canon with goblins and shits appearing in them.

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Sure, I do. I doubt any of us didn't saw Tank and thought immediately "THAT turtle gonna become Rainbow's pet, I called it!". XD

Thanks for giving this a chance. :)

Well, the show had some ridiculous stuff as well. I mean both have Pinkie Pie pulling out cannons and other stuff out of her butt.^^
But yeah, i think the rope was more of a nod to an old children goodnight story than a "canon" mean. About the golbins and shit though, that stuff happens only in the micro and in the micro I consider only Rarity's and Pinkie's to be really good the rest is bad or so-so.
The main comic however with Changelings, cool new wild creatures (Fluttershy had an awesome reaction to two groups of predator animals fighting over the right to eat the Mane6. "Isn't nature fascinating?" while the rest was between "OMG!" and "Oooookaaay..." XD) Shadow creatures, Nightmare Moon return, more background info about Shining Armor and Princess Cadance as in how they meet first and got together and stuff: All that is awesome! And very funny and well drawn too. <3
It's a shame it doesn't have a big footing in the fandom but compared to the episode we get for 0$ that's no wonder.^^

About the validation, the last issue of the main comics, #13, will have Princess Twilight in it. It's cause they were allowed to see the scripts and they could tell us that Twilight is still the books and friends loving Twilight just with a "new driver license" so to say. And the comic writer was a Princess Twilight doubter, not hater, he just doubted it was a good move. He then said the scripts of S4 made him think otherwise and its why the comic team decided to go with Twi with wings in their last issue. Thus issue 13 will be the first comic to play after the S3 final, all others are before it.
As you can probably guess, that news caused a minor shitstorm in EQD. :rainbowlaugh:

You misspelled "adventurous" in your description

3279948

"adventourous" - ups, you're right. Thanks for the pointer. :twilightsmile:

She had visited him often when he was in his room; all depressed because of Raritydeciding to put her career before any relationship

Rarity deciding

______________

Nice job on your first ship fic so far. An interesting TwiDash to say the least.

3281604

Fixed, thanks for the pointer and comment. :twilightblush:

:rainbowlaugh:

Atleast its better then my friend who thought a married couple gave eachother a model of a moon made out of honey :rainbowlaugh:

3282543

His wife gonna have a yummy and sticky surprise then on their wedding. :rainbowlaugh:

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Omg! My first comment on a chapter which is not the first one! :pinkiehappy:
It feels so... the same. :pinkiesad2:
Thanks for the daw. :twilightsmile:

3285804

Thank you. :twilightblush:

nicely done and good luck

3288255

Thank you very much, Lost. Especially for the picture you allowed me to use as cover. :twilightsmile:

Cool, the twin paradox of special relativity! Although in your explanation you got two things wrong. During their travel, they would actually see the time on Earth slow. Why? Because on their frame of reference, they are standing still, and Earth is moving away from them really quickly (principle of relativity, there is no such thing as an absolute standing still frame, all frame of references count as standing still). But! The reason that at the end they remain younger and the reason the twin paradox is resolved is that they jump frame of references. They are standing still, they then move, then they don't move, and then move again to come back. See? There is an asymmetry in their situations.

Secondly, it is possible to observe this phenomenom without a spaceship close to the speed of light. For example, there are these particles called muons that are formed in the upper atmosphere by cosmic particles. Cosmic particles are near speed of light particle, and they collide with another particle, showering the atmosphere with newly formed particles. Muons are very short lived, so by all right you shouldn't be able to detect it on the ground because they would decay before reaching the ground. Yet, we do detect muons and the reason for that is time dilation. Another way they proved it is that you can carry a atomic clock on the international space station and synchronize it with the one on the Earth. The clock on the space station has been noted to be a tiny tiny bit behind (unnoticeable to human being), despite the fact that Earth's gravity slows time down more on the ground. The space station zipping past around the Earth causes the time dilation.

3294609

Yeah, I knew I had to get this somehow into the fic but first time I did I was even more wrong than before. XD
I had it that several hours had passed on earth which wasn't very realistic though I thought I could get away with it 'cause magic and magical moon. I mean, that thing gets moved by an alicorn princess and has plants, animals and intelligent beings on it as well. PLus you can visit it with a rope and it has air and an atmospähre to breath in. But yeah I understand your explanation better than the one I found on the internet. I knew about the muon particle, but I didn't wanted to use it cause I think that was way too advanced scientifc stuff for a magical society like Equestria where magic is the basis of their technology as Faust said and not energy like with ours.

Really, thank you alot for this post, maybe I'll change the two wrong points if I get an idea how to explain it right. Right now I'm just glad I got it done in time to join the contest. Hope you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

Just asking... but do you want an editor... because i think the story could use one.... BIG TIME :twilightsmile:

3305887

Well yeah, I had two for the first chapters, but sadly not for the latters. Not enough time. :c
Why? Do you want to volunteer? I know I got problems with tense and the whole "when the hay do I put a comma down and when not" stuff but I kind of hoped the latter chapters wouldn't be "that" bad without a proper proofreading/editing.^^;

3306332 if you did not notice that i was offering my assistance with that message, then yes i am volunteering. i have some time tomorrow and will start looking through the chapters

Great story! This will go into my favorites. There are quite a few grammatical problems right now, especially with tense, as others have pointed out. It seems you're already getting some help with that. Apart from that though, there is a really good balance between cute Twidash moments (which stay precisely on the right side of being too risqué), interesting world-building, and exciting action. Awesome work!

3319640

Thank you for those kind words! :twilightsmile:
Yes, grammar and tense are my biggest weaknesses but thankfully I got helpful people to fix those mistakes of mine. :)
I love worldbuilding, it's what I love about MLP the most, right after the characters and its animation. <3
Though in this case the whole world or moon building almost doubled the amount of words I had planned. :rainbowlaugh:
But it was too much fun to write about Batponies who can't talk normally or how they came to be ("Storm Walker", heh XD) or why the Moonies have a festival every "day" and why the burn white and black masks and such. :rainbowkiss:
Twidash is my fav ship so to hear I did good on the Twidash moments is a big plus in my book as I was worried my first shipfic wouldn't be all that shippy in the end. :pinkiehappy:
it was also the first time I wrote real action sequences, especially with Rainbow in the joust and with Twilight facing the monster tsunami. I had all those amazing pictures in my mind how they do what with this and that expression, etc., like how in great movies and awesome cartoon/anime series, but it was really hard, at least for me, to write it down in a way that comes close to the imaginations I had before my inner eye. I'm glad to hear you found it exciting! :yay:

fifth misstaken pregnation of her.

LOL
Someone likes the after AFTER partys :rainbowlaugh:

Well this story was extremely cute. I was actually starting to think that Twilight was already pregnant, but this works. I have yet to read the IDW comics and it took some adjusting for me to get used to Moonies and whatnot, but it was enjoyable. I am going to look into ordering the comics. Good job, and I would have someone go through and point out the grammatical mistakes. Mostly the wrong use of tenses. Other than that, it's fine. Good. work.

3345380

Yeah, somepony does. :pinkiehappy:
And man, you scared me with the "misstaken". Already thought my editor had overlooked a mistake just to see that I was worried for nothing. :rainbowlaugh:

3345758

Thank you very much for your kind comment. I used "Moonies" as race name 'cause that way even readers who haven't readed the comics yet will find it easy to relate what kinda race they are, at least I hoped for that effect.^^
I'm glad that you will give the comic's a try, they deserve more recognition in the bronydom. :twilightsmile:

Be a bit careful with the micro's though, there are some bad apples there though the Rarity, the Pinkie and the Celestia micro are very entertaining. That is if you wanna give the MLP micro series a try too besides the main one. :pinkiehappy:

Yeah, grammar and teses are my biggest problem. I hope though that my editors got most of those faults out with their proofreading and that you're talking about chapter 4 and chapter 6 who's proofreading has been delayed till I'm finished with "Invisible Wounds". Hope the non-proofreaded chapters were not too jarring for your taste. :twilightblush:

As for the pregnancy; I'd like to think that Twi and RD agreed to both become preggers to be fair for each other. And that they are arguing if they should get pregnant at the same time or one after each other and if so, who should start? XD

3346014
I do like the name Moonies for them. An adorable sounding name like that would do wonders for their image. Also, don't even worry about it. I have seen some truly horrendous writing on this site. The occasional tense misuse or error is no big deal. You write TwiDash very well. Do you have any more plans for the pair in the future? Or perhaps something else?

3346019

That ease my worries quite a bit to know I'm not the only writer with grammar and tense problems on this site. :twilightsmile:
Yeah, I got around ten Twidash ideas in my MLP fic ideas folder on my pc but I plan to take a short break first 'cause my semester started today and it's pure chaos like always. :rainbowlaugh:
But once that's done, like a week or two, I will make a new fic with a new direction I got a couple days ago in a thread. It will be about Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash, however it won't just stop with them and there will be some very surprising turns. I'll say so much, the thread was about Shy and Dash being sisters. Which I changed into half-sister and them being a couple without knowing it and then finding it out via their parents which will ensure lots of chaos and twisted turns. :raritywink:

assured Rainbow Luna

Rainbow Luna!

"Hey, did you just insulted me?"

Doesn't need to be past tense for insult.

"Okay, as long as you let me know what's eating you, love"

Punctuation of some sort?

"Heh? Oh! I-I think 'Lightdashes' sounds more awesome. What do you think, Rainbow?", tried Twilight to overact that she hasn't listened to Rainbow's explanations about her idea.

That sounds all sorts of weird when I read it.

"So you really did took the title just to be able to marry me? Even left your friends in the team."

did take*

Those are just the ones I noticed, not really looking.

When she looked for the reason for, she saw Rainbow still sleeping on it, misusing it as second blanket

*reason for it

But Twilight pleas were unheard by Rainbow who tossed her wife into the waves.

*Rainbow, who tossed

But the main part of herself was busy throwing daggers at Rainbow with her glares which didn't touched Rainbow at all.

*didn't touch

We impleaded other ideas like sun driving sail carts in the ebene for racing or hikes on the mountains and caverns of the moon.

*Impleaded?

Guess if this should stay a cloudless beach you gonna need a thestrals weather team who takes care that it's always sunny here.

*you're gonna need

"Larry, the water's gone! The water goes away!"

*went away

She casted her spell.

*cast

earthquake

Wouldn't be be moon quake? Earthquakes are so ... earth.

"It's not important anymore," interrupted an exhausted Twilight the princess of the night.

*Twilight isn't princess of the night. Or did you mean that Twilight interruped the Princess of the Night? Also, Princess of the Night is a title, hence the capitalization. If that is so, the sentence should be "Twilight interrupted the Princess of the Night."

Luna's snout and she casted the requested spell

*cast

Be at ease, he remained in the city, helping his people

*Be at he, he remained in the city helping his people

listen to their advices

*their advice

Twilight teached the teams what rules

*Twilight taught

For sometime they didn't found

*didn't find

"Alles okay, Luna?"

*Alles?

wounds were life-threatened

*life-threatening

The townsfolk jubilated

*were jubilant

she had already spend

*had already spent

for now all citizens without a roof over their head had found shelter in the hotel and my palace.

*have found

while Rainbow blow a whistle at

*blew

The ice had hold the plates of the moon together like glue.

*had held

Glue which melts a bit under the soon to move between the small rifts and which then froze in the night and hold it together for the next circle.

*under the sun

You don't need to proof anypony anything.

*to prove

quicker to cast and less costing on power

*less costly

it did turned water tossed out of a bucket into ice very effectively."

*did turn

"Remember your confession to me and with the sudden kiss?"

*the word and is not necessary

we both know this will be the fifth mistaken pregnation

*pregnancy

stuntteam

*stunt team

Though we two know we gonna get both someday

*we're

"You gonna make a great mommy, Rainbow,"

*You're

as much of a succeed

*as much of a success

"You'd be surprised how stubborn politics can be, dear Twilight,"

*stubborn politicians

was a hundred metres big.

*correct term is tall or high, also one hundred. Normally it doesn't matter, but Twilight is... well, she doesn't skimp out on proper.

I didn’t had this wish before

*didn't have

I and Rainbow have

*Rainbow and I

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3347387

Wow! :pinkiegasp:
Massive thanks for pointing out all those errors! Some of them are really horrible like soon instead of sun!:twilightoops:
Ugh, I was so sure I had written sun! >.<

Thank you very much for writing down the right wording too, took me a while to correct all the mistakes but that's more that worth it for a better reading experience. :twilightsmile:

You got a really keen eye for mistakes many would overlook after reading so many words and you did three chapter right after each other. That's amazing! :rainbowdetermined2: :pinkiehappy: :raritystarry:

Though I do hope those were all the mistakes you could find and not just the most jarring ones. Thinking about how many mistakes are left in the chapters makes me uneasy.^^;

3347903

I am going to be 120% honest with you. I have read stories that were so bad when it comes to grammar that I didn't read them. They had a really good premise, but the writing was so bad that it hurt reading it.

I wouldn't have even bothered looking (and while I was reading the last couple chapters I was checking because in one chapter I read I actually read the author's notes and started checking to try to help) if you hadn't asked in the notes. I would have found the few scant ones, told you about them, but it probably wouldn't have been even ten among three chapters.

I got into the story.

Also, glad I could help.

3348484

I'm glad you took the time to check those three chapters and find those mistakes though. Every mistake you found is a worry less on my author soul.Thanks for making those chapters a more enjoyable read for futur readers. :twilightsmile:

I have to say that this is one of the best Twidash fics I've read.

Good Job :twilightsmile:

3359470

Thank you for the kind praise you give my work, I'm happy you enjoyed it so much. :yay:
If you like Twidash, I'll hope you will give Invisible Wounds a look too, it seems to be as good or maybe even a bit better than Honey(on the moon). :twilightsmile:

My first girlfriend.

This made me squee :twilightsmile: soo cute!

I just finished the first chapter and so far, I like it. Predictable Twilight attempting to be prepared for anything. One thing I thought I would point out just for fun is that snakes and spiders are not poisonous, they are venomous. Here's the difference, poison is lethal when ingested (swallowed), venom is lethal when it enters the blood stream. What's really cool is that you can actually swallow rattlesnake venom and at most walk away with a bad taste in your mouth and an upset stomach. Here's why, by the time rattlesnake venom reaches the blood stream it has been filtered through stomach acids and the kidneys so it is completely harmless. Just saying...

3381004

What should this sequel be about then? I honestly have no clue. :applejackunsure:

3389128

I know I would always hold my first girlfriend dear in my heart. :heart:
If I get one, that is. <.<

3434907

I really didn't knew that. Edited the poison away and added venomous in it, thank you very much for your explanations! I'll try to not forget that when I write about snakes and spiders in future MLP fics. :D

3435053
Hm, now that you mention it.... that part about adopting or making their own filly sounded very interesting :scootangel:
Well but its up to you, I'm just always hoping for too much from people :twilightblush:

3435104

Well, I'll be damned. That does sound interesting enough (can't believe I forgot my own ending), especially with Dash's noble title and Twi's princess one and the whole friends move on in their lives too stuff. I'll add it to my idea folder and see what I can do about it when I find the time for it. :moustache:

Right now I got more than two dozen other fic ideas on my plate though and am working on a Twidash oneshot and an OC short story plus my RL-life keeps reminding me that multicolored ponies don't give you got marks or money in your pocket. So don't expect it anytime too soon. :applejackunsure:

3435131
Well, you say you're working on another TwiDash, so I'm sure to be expecting something (I am a TwiDash maniac....) :pinkiecrazy:

3435053

I'd like to see Twi get Dash preggers, and the Lightdash's would be pretty cool to read about. Other than misused words and verb tenses scattered throughout the later chapters. It's been a good story. Good world building, and characterization. But yeah a Lightdash's and Twi getting Dash preggers will be cutedorable.

As Luna said "TO THE MOOOOOONN!!" I couldn't help but think "Want some bananas?"

Do the two ponies actually have kids if so you should write another chapter or better yet another story
I enjoyed this fiction very much
peace out
proudtobeabronie667

:pinkiecrazy:"TO THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!":pinkiecrazy:

"It's called a yukata. It's similar to the kimono of the Kirin on the eastern continent, Hu, but it's much simpler to put on, just the right thing for a festival.

Yay! Japanese cultural influences!

I noticed one spelling mistake

First Sunset Shimmer who readed about the mirror and other world behind it and now Twilight who had looked into books about explicit spells.

it should be

First Sunset Shimmer who read about the mirror

This story so far could do with some TLC from an editor, there have been quite a few mistakes with improper tense, and some sentences that are a little awkward. It's been rather minor until this chapter, but you've already addressed it (though I'd get it done soon, because it's becoming more and more distracting).

Otherwise, this story is really very enjoyable so far, the jousting scene was very exciting to read, and I look forward to reading further.

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