• Member Since 28th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen May 31st, 2014

Emerald Sky


Twilight has feelings for Rainbow Dash but she is too nervous to tell her, even if she did have the courage she wouldn't know how, So she tries seeking some outside advice from some of her friends. Will Twilight get Rainbow or will she be left longing for the mare she loves.

(Pre season 3, set after season 2)

Chapters (6)
Comments ( 49 )

Thank you for taking down the password. How long do you think you are going to make this story?

2421079 Don't know, will set out a story plan tomorrow, i just want to see how people react to it before i get too into it and i will write it longer if people enjoy it.

Alright, well, good plot, looks promising, though I can tell you're new to this. It's a bit rushed, you could take more time explaining details like feelings and visuals, though it's not the worst I've seen by a long shot. Another thing you may want to watch for is punctuation and capitalization, since you have a lot of mistakes in those areas. And there also quite a few grammatical errors, nothing huge, but still noticable. You may want to get yourself an editor, or at the very least edit it yourself a few times. Other then that, looks good, I'll be watching this.

2421132 Thank you for the support and ideas.I know i put capital letters in random places sometime :L no idea why, i will go through and re edit it a bit tomorrow, and will take more time writing the rest of the chapter, since i only had the idea to start this morning.

I like the premises of this story. The plot seems pretty sound at this point, if not a tiny bit on the rushed side. You seem to have quite a few capitalization errors and some punctuation errors to boot. I feel like you should have Twilight a little bit more surprised as to Pinkie knowing about her crush on Dash. Have her ask how it is that she knows and have Pinkie respond with some sort of "Pinkie Sense" stuff or what-not. I can honestly say that I am interested in reading this throughout it's entirety. Keep on writing and I will keep on reading!

2421173 Yeah I will add that little section in asap and will correct my grammatical errors as well, thanks for the feed back, and i am Glad you like it :)

I am glad to have read it.

the story is good so far :twilightsmile: keep it up :pinkiehappy:

This sound interesting, tracking, and well the others already have said you about the gramatical errors and formating.

This is how this is gonna turn out right?
"Dash I love you!"
"I love you too Twilght!"
Kiss kiss kiss, get married, have kids! :ajbemused:

2424285 I take it you don't like Ship fics? i'm going to add some drama in it to spice it up, but essentially yes, you put it a little bluntly but a Shipfic with the Tag romance is going to have romance in it :ajbemused: but you'll have to wait and see how it turns out.
And no no children.

2424294 I also hate TwiDash :derpytongue2:

2424310 You don't Like TwiDash :fluttercry: TwiDash has to be second best Ship. the best Is OctaScratch. and that video is amazing :rainbowlaugh:

2424314 the only reason I cam where was RO see how Cliché this story was...
And yes that video is amazing LilDueceDuece kows how to make something funny :rainbowlaugh:

2424330 well meh to you. I watch the ponified version it's better :twilightsmile:


2424359 I know i didn't link it right and it wouldn't let me edit it to correct it :L

2424363 watch this :rainbowlaugh:


2424391 Here's another one


2424391 (look in the right side of the screen, behind the bookshelf)

2424408 i love finding random videos online which either reference ponies or talks about Bronies :L was on a random video and you just see Bronies in the game they're playing

Yeah, it is me. A lot of people that replied to my comments and used my name within the text always sait "SolidFirestar", so I changed it to SolidFire. It has been a while, I thought I had lost you.

2424529 well it's less of a mouthful...
Hey check out THIS FIC it deserves way more views and Favourates than its getting

I gave it a look. It sounds amazing. The only problem that I have, which is kind of petty in my opinion, is that the story is not complete yet. I only read stories that are done because I basically read it all in one sitting. I don't want to have to wait for the next segment. I will definitely read the story though, thank you for introducing it to me. As to the new name, I feel like it has a better ring to it as well.

Every time I see "i" not capitalized, the editor in me dies a little more:fluttershyouch:

Glad to see you found an editor, much better then last chapter. On that note, there still could sbe some improvments. For example, I'm not sure how many tims I've see "I have" in speech when "I've" would both work and flow better. Just little things like that can really damage the flow and overall enjoyability of the fic. With regards to plot, looks good so far, looking forward to next chapter. Oh, and I''ve also seen things like

Is that a hint of disappointment in her voice?.

A lot, exlamation marks, question marks, and periods all end a sentence, you do not need the period after either of them, and I've seen it a few times in this chapter. Good luck with the next chapters.

Good chapter :twilightsmile:

Quite a few un-capitalised 'I's, specifically in the abbreviation I'm.
Apart from said mishap, bravo. :twilightsmile:

You need to pre-read your synopsis at the very least(Errors in there are a bad sign), and remove that 'be gentle' comment, it makes readers wary. They take it as an excuse to not write particularly well, and so will be less likely to click your story.

Remember, the synopsis is a first impression- make it count!

Are they slendermane's without the suit?

2540117 Yes that's sort of how I had pictured them whilst I was writing this chapter.

2589787 Thank you I'm glad that you enjoyed it :twilightsmile:

2616071 Wish I didn't have to go, or I at least wish I had a laptop since I have like a 4 hour train journey with no entertainment :raritycry:

Good chapter, :twilightsmile:, well, so let's wait

Can you tell that I love ponys:trollestia:

2616071 fyi change of plans, next chapter will be sooner since I refused to go. :twilightsheepish:

What is this? A story I did not know existed? Obviously I am not the editor mentioned in the end :duck:

2633267 Hey you knew this existed, I just never linked the fimfic story :rainbowwild: Would you prefer your fimfic name rather than MLP forums name to be listed? :twilightsmile:


Er... eh, doesn't really matter to me. Keep the MLPforums name up. I actually searched the story up on google just so i could read it.

Awwww:pinkiesad2: well I'll hope that you come back to this.

That's a shame I had liked to see how this will go on and what kinda ending it get. It was good for what was written so thanks for that. Hope to see more fics and espically Twidash shipfics from ya. Maybe a "flying buddy" episode can give more fire to the spirit or something like that. :twilightsmile: :rainbowdetermined2:

It's a shame to see this cancelled, but your reasoning is sound, can't argue if the writer thinks it's unsatisfactory. Maybe someone will do an ending with your permission or something just to help it along before it may or may not come back.
But, if you do come back to this, I will welcome you with open arms. :twilightsmile:

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