- Member Since 29th May, 2012
- offline last seen January 27th
Appleloosan Psychiatrist
dude i'm so good at nfts they used to call me "the blockchain ballerina"
Appleloosan Psychiatrist
Joined 29th May, 2012 ·
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Is this connected at all to darf's delightfully dark "Not Now, Big Brother?"
2651597
You mean mine and darf's delightfully dark "Not Now, Big Brother."
And no. The title is just a one off reference.
265160
Yeah, I knew you wrote it with him. That's wh I asked. .
What the hell is Bubblegum on? Seems it causes major plot device syndrome.
Alternatively, she could almost be Fluttershy, but the colors don't match.
Is that- Fluttershy's older sister or something? Bubblegum, I mean?
On the technical front: Careful about your tenses. You switched between past and present repeatedly.
Your description needs editing.
The switches of the point of view are a bit off. Could I suggest maybe using italics when Twilight think to herself?
That was... Oh my. That was very dirty.
I love it.
Also, this is currently on front page. I don't know for how long it'll stay there, but that's how I found it.
2652153 Ya, it threw me off at times as well...
Awesome fic though! Loved it. o[o
At least this one didn't make me physically ill like "not now, big brother"
2651623
Am I the only one seeing this or does it look like you are quoting someone talking about the CMC and not Appleloosan?
2652682
Um... Wut?
2652709
Your comment below Appleloosan's references 265160. Which looks to be a comment by someone named Tealove.
It appears to be a comment about a story featuring the CMC.
I was just confused, I did not know you can have comments from a different story linked in. It is just something I find interesting.
Edit:
OH, I see what is going on now. Tealove's comment has ID: 256160 and Appleloosan's is ID: 2561600.
Wow!
You did such a great job playing with Twilight's motivations. Even in the short first half I really felt compelled and in tune with Twilight's motivations. Even though they were simple, almost expected perhaps, they justified her sudden snap of personality beautifully. Usually something like that would have been at least a little jarring but it felt very natural.
Great job!
Oh, and the sex was good too.
...You knew this was coming, right?
Hot
Twilight Sparkle better make use of those royal connections, since she's probably wanted for rape.
Oh man, I really want to read this, but all the errors are driving me nuts!
Will mark for read-later
c:
si
bueno
This is really good, to the point where it's surprising to see all the dislikes. I think people, after reading the title, feel it's related to darf's story. Not saying his was bad but some people just don't like to read those stories and felt this was related to it, so instead of giving it a chance they immediately down voted.
Awesome, Twilight is a rapist
Stay classy, feature box.
The last sentence was kind of disturbing... for me...
Other than that, the story is hot, regardless of some errors noticed.
Not trying to nitpick here, but...
The wording here is just funny. It suggests the sentence is attempting to come to comprehension, and not Twilight of said sentence.
And dom Twilight. Seems a bit odd and not so much her character, but it was a pretty interesting read. Also, how do you know what a strangled cat sounds like?
2654604
A wise man once said, "Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to."
I kinda wanna know what the story behind Bubblegum is. Between her corpse-like behavior in bed, and the strangled cat moan she lets out in response to Twilight's mother, I get the impression that there some really interesting untold story there.
2655445
I would say that this might be quite simple: Sining is Twilight's brother. Twilight is the protegé of Princess Celestia. Bubble just approached Shining knowing that and was only with him because of the possible benefits of being his GF.
or, at least is what I think...
That was a thing. I was almost creeper out enough to not enjoy it. Almost. I was, however, hoping bubblegum there would be revealed to be cadance in disguise causing the whole thing to happen.
Why oh why didn't you make him cum in her?!
*wails*
That would be the hottest thing ever.
A few times the tense confused me, but nothing big. Still I just love your work.
You know exactly what the community wants and you're not afraid or ashamed to write it. Wanton, uninhibited sex with enough dirty talk to make us stop caring about morals. You're work always makes me feel inspired to write a fic of my own, probably consisting of ntr and mind break sex.
Anyway, I just wish I had talent (or enough money to buy it, lol) so we can get one of your stories turned into a proper doujin. I'm sure it would be right up there with artist like Sindoll, Alice no Takarabako and Takeda Hiromitsu in terms of slut talk, ahegao, and bodily fluids.
On a side note, Bubblegum seems to have all the signs of someone who was sexually abused as a child.
*sighs* Re-really?
I can't even anymore...
2655965 I'm sure that'll be saved for the sequal.
2651600
Really? I'd honestly like to know why you wrote that fic and more importantly, how anyone could possibly take delight from it.
"Delightfully dark?"
2654497
Well, the author had Shining Armor rape Twilight a bunch of times, so I guess it was only fair that Twilight get to rape him in return!
>>After reading the fic
I have mixed feelings about this, and I don't know how to get into them without coming across like a belligerent asshole. Also have to admit that nobody was forcing me to read your stuff. I think I'm going to try and avoid the feature box from now on.
2660122
Okay, I need to explain myself. Not Now Big Brother is one of the most fascinating fics I've ever read about ponies, and for a while it was also the most infuriating. When I first heard of it, I made a face and almost took your advice, but for some reason I got curious and read the comments section, surprised at how many people actually liked it.
I see why they did. It's not badly written at all. Quite the opposite. I would love that fic if it had nothing to do with ponies and especially the characters AP and Darf used in it. It captures the essence of what it's like to be a repeat victim of child molestation, and it gave me an idea of what it would be like to get raped myself. Part of that stems from the fact that my favorite character, who I admit I've grown attached to, turned into a helpless victim in a gut-wrenching way, accomplished by completely breaking another character I kind of like, Cupcakes style, and Shining Armor didn't have much of a character to ruin in the first place! When I realized that the characters were probably picked in order to emphasize the reader's feeling of violation, I flipped the screen a double bird. Instead of loathing Shining Armor, like many readers did, I loathed Darf and AP for putting him up to it.
(And for those of you who are about to argue that this history of molestation explains Twilight's attachment to her brother at the beginning of Canterlot Wedding, and that actual child molesters can be very good at hiding their activities and passing for normal, I've already thought of that. Just because I can't disprove that explanation doesn't mean I have to like it.)
So by sheer coincidence, I happened upon the feature box when a story with a title almost identical to the fic that's haunted me since I read it, I couldn't resist. But instead of being a continuation of that other fic (I have no idea if I would actually prefer that or not.), it turned out to be a basic clop fantasy. I'm kind of disappointed that it went that way, but I've written a clop fantasy myself so I can't complain.
Now that I think about it, avoiding the featured box altogether is definitely an overreaction. I'll just have to think long and hard about clicking on links from these authors, since I probably would not be surprised at the result.
Appleloosan Psychiatrist is a very capable writer, but her choice in subject matter confuses me.
2657354 Technically, Xe never described it as "delightfully dark", xe was quoting the poster above hir. Your beef is with Jake the Army Guy, not Appleloosan Psychiatrist, except insofar as Appleloosan co-wrote the fic.
On to the general commentary:
Subjectively speaking with comparison (since you co-wrote it and its been brought up a few times) this is worse than Not Now. And not just because of the direction of the relationship, which is fine to explore. Yes, you go a decent little bit into Twilight's personality, but everyone has empowerment fantasies and these are merely an extreme form of it, after enough time on the internet or even just reading books (looking at you Game of Thrones rape-scenes!) you become desensitized to the rapist's POV, unless it is REALLY well done (I think I've only seen one on this site that actually gave me pause as being more immersive and perverse than what can be found on the Fantasy/Sci-Fi section at Amazon). It doesn't help that there is no denouement or aftermath, like the (however brief) one in Not Now, which cements the feelings of the characters as the final step. This ends on a joke, instead: After all, (though TVtropes recently deleted every trope with Rape in the name so I can't link it) Rape Is Funny When It's Girl On Guy. As far as we can tell, this is a formulaic "rapist rapes, innocent quickly starts liking it", which is a terrible meme to spread but is quite omnipresent. Not Now, though, that hurt people, because they've bought into the rape culture of the very meme this one propagates, it gave them feels, and they didn't like that...
Meanwhile, disempowerment fantasies are really rare. Rare enough to not even appear on my Firefox spellcheck. Even in video games, a much stronger medium than fanfic, they're only recently gaining traction. Not Now was a really powerful disempowerment fantasy, made all the more so because of the infrequency of it's kind's occurrence. I notice this only has half the % of dislikes (about 1/8 instead of 1/4) compared to the likes for this story, and that is likely why, this one people are accustomed to, while, for better or worse, the other evoked really strong emotions in people and prompted them to really vote, and the story made them feel really awful (as it should have, it was harsh disempowerment) so they thumbed it down. As a work of art (as literature can be) it evoked stronger and more varied emotions than this one did, which seems to set lust as a baseline, instead of fear or shame. I can see some people saying Not Now was "deliciously dark", though delicious would not be the adjective of my choice (and in fact may point to some psycho problems of the speaker if they mean it sincerely as in the fic made them hunger), I would say "sickeningly" would be a better one, in the most complimentary way possible if you view it as a social commentary and empathy-teaching device and not as a clop-fic. It was a fic that made me (and I hope most readers) physically sick, made all the more potent in that on this website, many of the readers likely read it expecting a clop-fic like this when they clicked it. It deserved a thumbs-up as an art or social discourse piece, not its quality in clopping ability.
This, though, was clop. Decent clop. Its no Xenophelia, but decent clop. And hey, spelling and grammar are good, and no verb tense switches made me stop and re-evaluate, so kudos on that. That's better than me as a writer. Perhaps I am jaded though, by so much exposure to the medium. I was kinda hoping for another introspective look, one that involved Cadance (because your description wasn't very good when I clicked this). Oh well, still decent clop, and generally above-average writing for it in that you actually took the time to establish the motives of the character instead of making an offhoof Friendship is Witchcraft reference and let us piece it together.
2660553
They weren't deleted, just renamed. The trope you're looking for is here, another one you reference is here, and the rape tropes index is here.
50 bucks that Bubblegum is a dyke.
Wow, I gotta say, this story was GOOD. I enjoyed it last night, and kept thinking about it during work today. It was hard to keep the slack in my pants. I loved it.
2660553
I get what you're saying about the artistic and social value of Not Now, I really do. I would have upvoted it, favorited it, and spread the word to everybody I know if it hadn't had ponies in it. Was it necessary to focus it on ponies and thus limit it to the brony demographic? Was it worth emulating Cupcakes and taking a dump on these particular characters? Why was this particular decision made?
But yeah, knowing that AP and Darf made something of actual emotional power capable of shaking us out of our complacency makes it all the more disappointing and irritating when they write disposable porn like Right Now Big Brother and Growing Up Fast. For those of you who haven't heard of it, Growing Up Fast is a fic in which little Rumble takes a potion that artificially ages his body to adulthood, and of course he's the sexiest stallion ever. His babysitters, Cloudchaser and Flitter, have either been intoxicated with pheromones or taken several blows to the head, because they fail to notice that something is weird with Rumble and instead start fucking him when he's fully grown. And much like Right Now Big Brother, the implications of this act are brushed off with a shrug and a smile, with the two mares merely acknowledging what they did before finding more potion and doing it again. So now Cloudchaser and Flitter are pedophiles, and Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor are rapists. Swell.
I know I'm coming off as judgmental of people who actually do get off on stuff like this, and I feel awful for insulting them by implication. I've jerked off to a lot of bizarre shit too, some of it just as vile as what happens with fics like this. But when that does happen, it's generally sadism that's so over the top that if it happened in real life, society would quickly and correctly condemn it as an atrocity. Pedophilia, meanwhile, has an actual organization supporting it, even though it's a universally mocked and derided one, and as for rape, well, there's no guro or snuff equivalent to "rape culture", is there?
And as for the misdirection regarding "delightfully dark," fair enough. I was just confused at how anyone could take delight in Not Now and wanted to take the chance to ask the actual author of the fic what exactly xe was trying to accomplish with it, so I thought I'd try to kill two birds with one stone. Oops. But it's still curious to discover that some folks can actually take pleasure from and feel positive emotions with this fic. It's like hearing someone admit that Irreversible or a Lars von Trier movie got them hot and bothered. I'd sooner be aroused by The Thing myself, but that's just me.
jesus fucking unf
didn't have a chance to read this for a while because i was at work, but goddamn
AP, you motherfucker. you're never allowed to say you can't write sex again. that was the best dialogue i've read in a fic in forever. it was just the right amount of over the top, and you even managed to justify it, once we could accept that twilight's mind had cracked at that point. the contrast of twilight's attitude and her action is the hottest fucking thing i can remember. nuclear grade unf.
i also realize that, if anything, you might have a better talent for romantic writing than i do. the way your pacing works, and the contemplative nature of your prose functions, you get a much fuller sense of 'being' from the characters. where as i'm always showing the window, looking on the outside and drawing from that, you let us see the window inside a lot more, and i think that lends itself particularly to emotion. also, though i know this is just a construct of your natural writing habits, i feel like your attachment to Twilight's voice and POV is wonderful. certain wordings i'll always prickle at, but i'm willing to entertain an alternate interpretation for the surrounding revelations. and, that sex scene. goddamn.
A++ would cum again
2656989
Oh I meant Twilight making Shining cum inside while making him think he can't!
2665198 oh yes. now that would indeed be probably one of the hottest things ever. lol
2660614
Thank you. For a short while some were actually removed completely, something about Google ads and automatic notices. Good to see the major ones are back.
2665187
It's the nature of the medium to use ponies. Were it humanized and starring Prince Blueblood the First and Princess Platinum, it would seem a bit like George RR Martin (and people DO get off to both his books/TV series as well as far worse things. The internet is scary), and the impact wouldn't necessarily be as sizable, the readership would be lesser as well. Consider this; 1/4 women (or is it 1/3? I can never remember the exact stat, but its really high) will be sexually assaulted in their life, most people online can name four women they know. That fic cements that it can happen to someone (or some character) that you are close to, who does not deserve it, that it isn't reserved for "other people". I get bored and basically read everything on the Feature box sometimes, but I bet a lot of people reading it had fantasies similar to this story, and so getting the negative dark side of it in the other becomes all the more poignant in that it demonstrates that even fantasy of this can be hurtful.
Guro and snuff are subfactions of rape culture, in that once a woman/girl/mare/female personage is objectified as according to the culture, guro is equivalent to seeing a Will It Blend youtube short: You might like the iPad, but its just an object they're destroying. Guro is the power fantasy taken two steps too far as opposed to "merely" one. So no, doesn't have its own special name.
I take exception to Cupcakes, though. Cupcakes was a different animal than either of these. It is, like it or not, a foundation upon many a fic, as it was the first really mainstream guro fic to let authors know they can push their boundaries and limits, and those of others, in this medium. Really could have used a peer-editor though. I think others did it better than Cupcakes, even its spiritual successor Rocket to Insanity, but that doesn't change the fact it is the most main-stream. Apple didn't invent the mp3-player or even any component of an iPod, but they did popularize them. Cupcakes is the Apple of FIMfic darkfics.
2669319
I'm not disputing that pony OCs would have neutered the impact of the fic. My point wasn't that you should have used humanized versions of pony OCs. I was saying that I would have preferred that the story have absolutely nothing to do with MLP whatsoever. Make it original fiction or fanfic for some other franchise where rape is less jarring and would fit in better. Also, "the readership wouldn't be as sizable"? Is the readership for My Little Pony fanfiction really bigger than readers of original short stories that you could sneak this little bombshell into?
I brought up the Cupcakes comparison because much like that fic, it completely breaks an established character for the sake of grimdark, though at least here you can see more noble intentions than just shocking and trolling the audience. As I said, Pinkie Pie's greatest goal in life is making other ponies happy, and all the party decor and comedy stuff is set dressing that serves this purpose. Her character in Cupcakes is like one of those shitty Dr. Seuss movies from the last decade: the set dressing is there, but the heart at the center is gone, replaced with something worse. Whoever said in these comments that Pinkie was technically still in character in that thread according to the episodes released prior to Cupcakes? I still don't believe you and I don't want to be in the same room as you.
Something similar is going on with Shining Armor in Not Now. Much to my chagrin, Shining Armor has not gotten explored nearly as much as Pinkie Pie in the actual show, so we don't know much about him. What we do know is that he's an upstanding paladin type who is a model boyfriend/husband and older brother. Even though I like him for his mannerisms and the interplay between him and Twilight, I have to admit he has kind of a bland character that needs depth and character flaws. But when I mean flaws, I do not mean SECRETLY RAPED HIS LITTLE SISTER WHEN SHE WAS A PREPUBESCENT GIRL. I do not buy for a moment that this is the 'real' Shining Armor deep down inside for one second. I'm just really freakin' sick of grimdark fics that pervert characters like this, usually for the sake of a cheap shock (as opposed to the admittedly deserved shock Not Now delivered).
Also, it just occurred to me that Not Now and Right Now combined make unfortunate implications about the genders of rapists and rape victims. The former fic had a male rapist and a female victim, and it had a dreadful, oppressive mood that made the reader sick and repulsed, and rightfully so. The latter fic had a female rapist and a male victim, and the mood here veers from a psychological look at an unbalanced mind to a titillating romp in the hay. Mental scars? What mental scars? How could sex possibly scar a man? Whoever heard of a guy getting raped by a girl, amirite? Amirite?
Just saying.
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that was beyond good. one of the best shiningXlight fics i ever read. you have some real talent
2669558
I'm not the writer of any of these, no "you" here about it, I just like discussing them because I find the viewpoints fascinating.
For the short stories preference, yes, as a short story to be posted in some side-site... By Alexa traffic, Fimfiction.net is ranked the #24,765 website on the entire world wide web.
Meanwhile, searching "Short Stories", www.short-stories.co.uk/ is the top google result, and its rank is #793,683. A story as short as Not Now wouldn't go in Amazon's ranks, and its too macabre for printed editorials. It would need to be in a fan-fiction setting or other casual atmosphere to get eyes. Fanfiction.net is youth-friendly so it is a "no", adultfanfiction.net is over 40k in the rankings. You underestimate the popularity of the bronies in an era where literature is kinda dead. Bronies ARE a major source of short stories, especially ones that are "mature" (if the admin's words on 50% of people here browse Mature is accurate).
I agree on the OOC-ness at times. it can be jarring. That's why I said Rocket to Insanity was better as a darkfic than Cupcakes. Rainbow as the killer made much more sense: It was a heat of the moment attack, prompted by established in-fic months of horrific nightmares, and the scene was replaying like one of them, so she freaked and defended herself from an imagined threat.
time to clear my history.
2673641
Jesus Christ, that's the saddest thing I've read all month, if not all year. So out of all the short fiction that's currently being made in the world, the ones that can actually be sold and gain critical cachet are in a slim minority? This is an excellent time for me to take up drinking.
Rocket to Insanity is much better, I will admit, and I admit I misspoke about the "you" thing.