This story is a sequel to Home Is Where the Hearts Are
In which Rainbow Dash gets in some number of minor quarrels (or "spats"), learns several new words, and gets hit in the face. Also somepony catches on fire, a train never seems to reach its destination, and Fluttershy is largely unaffected by the night's proceedings.
Features RD/PP/FS, R/AJ, and TS/Colgate, so turn back if you find any of that anathematic. Acknowledges that mutually consenting adults in committed romantic relationships may sometimes have sex with one another, but nothing graphic.
Chapters (1)
It was an ok stiry
Ha. Absurdly ludicrous. Loved it!
You sir, have a knack for wordplay.
I admit that this made me laugh and I enjoyed it a lot.
Good God! The laughs!
Rainbow makes for great protagonist.
Your closing quotation marks are the wrong way round.
"‘Cause" needs to be "’cause", as an apostrophe is aclosingsingle quotation mark.Pinkie Pie does know that it's not just Pound Cake's birthday coming up but Pumpkin Cake's as well since they are twins.
it matches their personalities perfectly! good job!
2520104 Thanks for paying much closer attention to those quotation mark things than I was willing to. :) Really I should just turn smart quotes or whatever it's called off.
2520106 She can't get them both knit hats, that would downplay their individuality!
Rainbow is always wrong, pinkie is always right (even when she comes out of left field). Applejack and Rarity are perfect for each other in this story. Twilight is so funny when she gets angry and makes such evil death threats.
Words! My one and only weakness!
*grins* Very cute fic, I would've liked more description since in a lot of it they were just sitting in white space but overall a cute piece. I didn't love it but I confess I can't quite put my finger on why, I think it just got too confusing and what was going on wasn't sufficiently clarified for me. That makes sense right?
I was actually in stitches in front of my computer. I think I'm going to insist my boyfriends call me by cute pet names when we're arguing from now on.
Am I the only one who imagined various characters (mostly Twilight and Colgate) speaking like the Lutece twins from Infinite?
Alright, that was pretty funny. I actually l'dol when RD kept getting smacked.
The wordplay and characterization were hilarious, and I really liked the way you portrayed Colgate.
Please keep writing, I'll keep reading!
You mean she... spat it?
Anyway, I love this kind of back-and-forth, everypony-talking-at-cross-purposes humor, and this is a particularly fine example of the form.
Who else thought about cupcakes? (Life is a party)
Reading about late-night shenanigans late at night is a pleasant combination. I am amused (and not just because it's 2 AM).
Love it!
That was excellent.
Fantastic and hilarious from start to finish, well done
That was hilarious
...not really surprised about that.
Also apparently Twilight gets turned on by Checklists
Is that a reference to Chasing Fireflies in the beginning?
3881509 In lowercase, yes. Otherwise I don't think I know what you're asking.
3888581
As in the TwiDash + Scootabelle story by bats. It's good, you should read it.
Though I get the impression from Home Is that you hold TwiDash in something related to contempt.
3888639 They're cute together... though I do worry that every TwiDash story I've ever read is the same as every other one.
3888662
bats writes really good TwiDash, and really well in general. I'm not sure what you mean by 'same,' though. As in, the main conflict usually has to do with Twilight moving up in Canterlot and Rainbow getting an offer from the Wonderbolts?
3888684 The formulaic TwDash tends to be that one of them freaks out about loving the other one, loses control, kisses her; possibly declares their love. Usually it's Rainbow Dash, but not always. The one who is kissed/ confessed to, usually but not always Twilight, then runs off in embarrassment and starts freaking out and won't see or talk to the other, usually but not always Rainbow Dash. Then the one who is The Pursuer, again: Usually but not always Rainbow Dash finds the pursued a bit later and talks things out, they decide to try the dating thing, and then after one date they say "I love you" and have all the makeouts.
4659286
That's more the general femslash formula, not TwiDash in particular. And yes, I find it fucking awful.
Sometimes it's done well, though.
this was extremely silly
-- but at the same time, it makes me feel kinda lonely and envious. nicely done.
By this point in the story
I was doing this
Some great lines here, like this:
Also, I keep having "A Stallion for the Time Being" flashbacks because of your Twilight/Colgate pairing.
5994782 Technically it's the other way around... A Stallion for the Time Being was inspired in part by my storie/s. :) Sharp Spark and I have communicated a few times, including this cover art and a group fic that may or may not ever be finished.
This story came up in a discussion in TWG which lead me to reading it. While it's not my cup of tea, it is my personal policy to always comment on a story regardless of whether or not I "liked" or "disliked" it or abstained from voting. If the author takes my advice, much of what I have to say will likely be changed, or not representative of the story in the future, so keep that in mind.
This story suffers from a debilitating talking-head syndrome, which is perhaps one of the easiest things to fix by elaborating on dialogue with emotive expressiveness (emoting the manner in which the line is delivered) in said tags (the identifier of who is speaking). Many, many lines of dialogue are (at the time of writing this comment) left only to the way a line is said, to distinguish which of the ponies actually said it, which is frequently insufficient. This is especially problematic because the synopsis sets the expectation that there will be seven ponies in the scene, and the context does not always clearly identify the speaker.
Emotive expressiveness also lends to better "showing", even in a "telling" heavy story such as this. There's a lot of places where I feel the dialogue was unnecessary, and could be culled in favor of nonverbal communication one might see in this visual medium, to help build a better mental picture, further aiding in immersiveness.
There are several points in the story where the technical writing of the prose is incorrect, and could/should be fixed or caught by an editor. Though it's a minor detail, it did get at me over time. One such example was: "...ever!" She paused. "I'm..." should be "...ever!" she paused, "I'm..." as well as some formatting in general.
So, while I don't like this story because the concept disagrees with me, I don't "dislike" them for that (since it was an expectation set by the description), or things that I feel can be fixed. Supposing the talking head syndrome is fixed, I don't imagine other people would notice any of the other problems I had (other than how much telling is being done instead of showing).
Verdict: I abstain from voting. The story could be improved, but what I've read is in no way "bad".
6957516
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6958018 60 weeks late but this comment is absolutely iconic adsgfdhjfkhjgf
furthermore this fic was hilarious and adorable and i loved it a lot <3
I think I come back to this at least once a year, and never regret it. It's so intensely full of wit and charm and I love everything about these characters. I want to make a sweeping declarative statement about it being my favorite thing, but the closest I can say for certain is that that it's usually the first thing that comes to mind to overturn that desire on newer things.
This is probably the most artful sentence ever written. It seems so simple and nonchalant, and I'm fairly sure I missed it my first two or so readings, but there's layers of cleverness to it.
i miss colgate :(
I was cackling through this entire thing. And my fiancée got sick of me constantly reading her lines from it. But I don't care, because it's amazing. Thank you so much for sharing it
This is amazing and ridiculous and I loved every moment of it.
I hate hilarious this is!!!!