• Member Since 15th Sep, 2015

Darkest Dreams


I’m emotionally constipated. I haven’t given a crap in years.

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Found 186 stories in 49ms

Total Words: 1,730,514
Estimated Reading: 4 days

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Straight from the Canterlot archives, this collection of documents retells the rise and fall of Princess Twilight Sparkle, Enlightened Despot of Equestria, Defender of the Peace, Lawgiver, and Commander of Fort Libris.

Twilight Sparkle is, of course, known to historians as the first usurper to seek to schedule a coup d'etat by appointment. But for other details- such as, "What is the longest recorded time a pony has gone without sleep?", "Is it true what they say about swans?", and, "Why is there an owlbear in the Equestrian Witness Protection Program?"- these documents provide the answers and much, much more.

This is ABSOLUTELY SERIOUS HISTORY from primary sources. If anything makes you think this is silly, ludicrous, or unbelievable, blame Discord.

Written for FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns writing contest.

EDIT 3-15-17: Wow, almost instant featured! Was NOT expecting that!

EDIT 4-8-2017: Featured in the Royal Canterlot Library! Thanks!

Part of the Remember Fort Libris print anthology, thanks to our Kickstarter supporters!

Chapters (2)
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It's Apple Reunion Day again. But something is different about the family matriarch, Granny Smith. Everypony knows it... apart from her.

Something I wrote on a whim.

Chapters (1)
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Perhaps there's more to immortality than we first thought. Perhaps it's not about living forever, but merely escaping Death's icy cold hooves.

And by staying one step ahead of him at all times.

Chapters (1)
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This story is a sequel to Ye Cannot Get Ye Flask


After visiting Minuette and Moondancer in Canterlot, Twilight still had one friend left to catch up with. But she never realized just how odd Lyra Heartstrings was. Not until the conversation had begun, anyway.

"Hey, Twilight, wanna feel my hands? They're so soft!"

Written in honor of the Soft Hands Inaugural Fanfiction Contest. Reading the previous story is not necessary to understand this one. Reading the previous story may not lead to an understanding of this one.

"...genius in the way Alice in Wonderland is genius." -BlazzingInferno

Chapters (1)
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Remember that time Lemon Hearts got her head stuck in a beaker?

Except... it wasn't a beaker, was it?

Time for Twilight to set the record straight.


Reading by Short Stories! (no longer available :C)
Reading by Illya Leonov and Scribbler!

Chapters (1)
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Twilight Sparkle is blissfully happy to be dating Princess Luna. But when the ever-clumsy Twilight breaks one of Luna's oldest possessions, Twilight is sure that failing to fix it will spell disaster.

Adventures in taking the TwiLuna contest's prompt (and this story's title) extremely literally. (And this took second place, woot!)

Edited as usual by the amazing Jordanis, with assistance from TheAccidentalBrony.

Chapters (1)
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Princess Twilight Sparkle discovers a centuries-old mystery hidden in the Royal Archives. Her investigation leads through layer after layer of deception and misdirection, setting her hooves on a path that seems to be leading to a mysterious secret. Along the way, she learns that some friendships can be very, very strange.

Book 1 of the Alicorn Adventure series.

AUDIOBOOK by VisualPony
Featured at the Royal Canterlot Library
TV Tropes Page (Courtesy of Sandtalon)
Goodreads Page (Courtesy of Facedeer)
Equestria Daily Page

WARNING: Major spoilers in the comments. Takes place several months after the end of season four. (Not a Da Vinci Code crossover, BTW!)

Do you see a dark tag? No, you don't. Not dark. Well, okay, there are a couple of dark-ish bits, but that's all. Not enough to warrant a tag. Speaking of tags, there really ought to be "Badass Twilight" and "Friendshipping" ones.

Sequels and side-stories (and more) can be found here Offprint and AO3, and a hardbound two-volume set of all that can be ordered from The Ministry of Image.

My editor for the first edition of this story was Gogito, and I can't thank him enough for all the hard work he did. My editor for the revised version was PresentPerfect, and he did a terrific job of getting the story into excellent shape.

Chapters (24)
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Twilight has a problem on her hooves. An hour before Celestia was supposed to come to Ponyville for the Summer Sun Celebration, she's accidentally gone and killed everyone dead. As in, "dead as a doornail" dead. Now she's got to fix it before Celestia shows up and finds out.

Or, at the very least, make sure that Celestia doesn't know that they're dead.


Blame Blueshift for this.
Now with a sequel!
Now with a reading, graciously provided by Skijarama!

Chapters (1)
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Applejack was only gone for a minute, but now there seems to be a sea of blankets covering Rarity's living room. And unfortunately for Applejack, this ocean of blankets is home to a deadly and vicious snuggleshark.

Just a cute, fluffy story based on a rather silly idea I had the other day.
Header art is by me: http://kaminakat.deviantart.com/art/Rarity-the-Great-White-667397997

Chapters (1)
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Sunset Shimmer wears a leather jacket, walks with confidence, and used to be the school bully. So it's only obvious that she could probably kick anybody's ass.

Tonight, she's having her friends over and they're going to find out just how true that statement really is.


Edited by: Autumn Bramble

Apparently someone made a Spanish translation of this fic, so that's pretty rad.

Chapters (1)