• Member Since 27th Oct, 2011

Heireau


scootalootoot a loopatoot

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Total Words: 4,685,205
Estimated Reading: 1 week

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T
Source

The Griffin empire has gone too far this time. I mean, they can't even spell their own name in the proper Equestrian way! Frustrated with treaties and negotiations that go nowhere, Princess Celestia decides to blow off a little steam the only way she knows how -- bashing in her plates with her sister.


Cover Art Clickbait by Zutheskunk, because I'm lazy.
Rated T for Tea

Apologies to Dinoguy1000 for pre-reading.

Chapters (1)
E
Source

~A simple tale told through the format of letters~

It's just a date, right? What could possibly go wrong? But when the scientifically-minded Twilight Sparkle deems it necessary to start writing letters to Pinkie Pie about it, bad approaches lead to misunderstood intentions, and it's up to Twilight to solve the problem herself.

Chapters (1)
T

Princess Luna, carrying out her normal duties of watching over the dreams of her subjects, comes across one of a more intimate variety. Normally unfazed by such dreams, this one embarrasses her into leaving quickly. Despite her decision to never think about the dream again—like always—she can't help but remember a single detail from it. A detail so strange she feels the need to talk to the dreamer about it. Unfortunately, she doesn't know who the dreamer was.

Awkwardness ensues.

For more story, read: One Day in the Life of Princess Celestia
For more awkward comedy (and story), read: Everypony Knows About the Wet Dream

Chapters (1)
T

After her whole life as one of only two alicorns, Cadance is finally introduced to Luna. To call it awkward would be an understatement of the highest caliber.


A silly little something I wrote for a good friend of mine when she was having a bad day. Here's hoping it gets a laugh or a smile or two out of somebody else. Sex tag is for risqué jokes and discussions.

Featured on the front page from December 22nd to 25th, 2013!

Chapters (1)
E
Source

The Grand Galloping Rarela, the most prestigious event in all of Rarequestria, is about to commence. However, it wouldn't be complete without Rarity making her grand appearance, along with the other rare six. Will the Elements of Fabulosity be able to defeat their surprise antagonist? Read on to find out!

Story for Yipyapper's birthday because he's a cool dude and if you like this fic check him out and stuff. Did I mention he was cool?

Big thanks to my editors SirTruffles, FloydienSlip and Flint Sparks!

Cover art found here.

Chapters (1)
T

Luna was never banished, Discord is Celestia's court jester, the Elements of Harmony do not exist, and Twilight grows more pompous and more egotistical every day.

Celestia is not amused.

This story is on indefinite hiatus. I might revisit it, so it's not cancelled, but I'm not currently skilled enough as an author to do some of the things I wanted. Believe me, I've got the drafts to prove it.

Chapters (3)
T
Source

Have you ever woken up as a vegetarian cartoon pony? I have, and she won’t shut up about it. I’m stuck in her body as our minds swap control and our memories blur. I can’t seem to do anything right, and it’s even worse when she’s in charge.

Now, we’re in a back and forth war for control of her body. I just want to eat meat again, and have a little personal space. She’s convinced I’m hitting on her friends and trying to score. I’m not sure I can survive the rest of the day, let alone until we fix this.

Edits by: Selbi, Abcron, Breath of Plagues, Refro, Jaestring, The Parasprite, Starbound Gurren
Pre-read by: SkeeterTL, Solidfire, Penjacker, TypewriterError, Pearple Prose
(It took all of them to corral my insanity.)
Cover art by Tsitra360
V1.1-Rated teen sex for strong innuendo.
V1.2-Pinkie Pie now enforcing RIAA guidelines.

Chapters (18)
T

Let's just say your luck with the mares isn't all that great, two months in Ponyville and you've had your heart stomped on more times than you can count. That coupled with the fact you've lost your job, your house, and have barely enough bits to feed yourself means your life isn't exactly going so great. And after another botched attempt at a relationship you're ready to swear off of the whole dating game for good.
But after a night of drunken debauchery you awaken to find yourself in the service of Ponyville's premiere fashionista, you're willing to forget your previous pledge to the single life after she proves herself to be the kindest and most generous pony you've ever met, but only time will tell if she'll be your future lover or the next in line of a long list of mare's who you'd rather forget.

Chapters (25)
T
Source

In the heat of the moment, some ponies have a habit of letting things out. Sometimes they are minor things that most just shrug off and forget about in a matter of milliseconds. Sometimes they are things that, once revealed, shake the very foundation of their existence.

Rarity's latest revelation falls into the latter.

Chapters (9)
E
Source

NEW PRINCESS ATTACKS GRIFFONSTAN IMPORTS

The Equestria Daily can exclusively report that newly crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle became embroiled in an argument with the Griffonstani trade minister about the inferior quality of griffon quills, alleging that "they just don't hold ink as well as pegasus quills". Import markets tumbled overnight, threatening the solvency of numerous Equestrian quill merchants. Princess Sparkle could not be reached for comment.

(When you're done, bookplayer has a fun "Let's Read" commentary version!)
(Also, GhostOfHeraclitus wrote a prequel from the perspective of Dr. Spinning Top!)
(Also also, now available in Spanish thanks to Spaniard-Kiwi!)

Chapters (3)