• Member Since 13th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Yesterday


Somedays, I sit, looking at the stars. I muse and wonder. I meditate and reflect. And I find the miracle in a new day of life. Especially since I swallowed so much glass the day before.


The Griffin empire has gone too far this time. I mean, they can't even spell their own name in the proper Equestrian way! Frustrated with treaties and negotiations that go nowhere, Princess Celestia decides to blow off a little steam the only way she knows how -- bashing in her plates with her sister.

Cover Art Clickbait by Zutheskunk, because I'm lazy.
Rated T for Tea

Apologies to Dinoguy1000 for pre-reading.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 169 )

...This was my fault, wasn't it? I did this by making you look at the feature box.

I'm so sorry.

Much humor was had. I enjoy the idea of Celestia being a two year old with amazing power and limited self control.


Don't be!

It is gloriousssssssss.

~Skeeter The Lurker


Luna best clubber !

The satire is strong with this one.

Love it

The End Go Away

Hey look I found the summary!

~Skeeter The Lurker

Very interesting to see Luna as the straight man (er, straight mare?) for once. The incredibly immature Celestia was a real laugh, especially as you still managed to keep it reined in just enough to stay funny without going into dark territory.

The griffons actually acknowledging that Celestia's so far above them was a nice bent, as well, and a change from their usual conceited fandom depiction.

Well done! Excellent read!

What wonderful, silly madness! I laughed, I cried, I laughed while I cried. All-in-all, an adequate use of three minutes.

But now I want to go throw something fragile.

Do you have a sister?

"This is a bad idea." - Everyone, ever.

Well, with this logic, I'm pretty sure I'm well within my rights to say that I. Fuckin'. Called it.

A story with Celestia being a bitch in sheep's clothing, and it's actually funny? Amazing!


I have a younger brother. Will he do?

5845486 should do, I just use a family friend's step-son.

5844915 *Gasp* I DO! Oh, this will be SO much fun!

This is a bad idea!


Maybe I'mcrazy, but I think the universe would be a rather better place if all politicians were subject to a tarring and feathering (or just tarring if the have feathers - that's smart thinking, Celestia, that's why they pay you big bucks!) whenever they did something stupid or unreasonable.

(Like spelling things wrong...)

What have I done?


Better than the semen shit, at least.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Her mood came and went so unpredictably that Luna was seriously considering having an octagonal bed built for her sister in the hopes that that would diminish the number of times she got out of it on the wrong side.

Celestia slammed her hoof on her royal dining table, that incredibly long one that she bought from the Overly-Lengthy Furniture Shoppe, the same place where she got that night stand that had eighteen drawers going lengthways.

...is it odd that I want furniture like this?
Luna is best weapon of fine China destruction

5846139 Truer words have never been said...

Celestia is Queen Victoria?

The End Go Away

i'm not going way, my body won't let me

And thus a new, and glorious age for Equestria began, and the fine china industry!

Tis a beauteous sight this is. Blessed be you, the author, who art gifted in the funnies, to create such a wondrous piece. Blessed be your name for ages and ages to come, and henceforth be known as the one to leave readers in giggling fits. And yet even greater still, blessed by your righteousness to make more fics to come, since ye and merrily, this was great, and greater still shall be your future. So it is written, and so it shall be.
Also this is supposed to represent clapping, but if you interpret it differently, well, different strokes for different folks I suppose.

At first, I read Jacques P. Sootstone as Jacques Pootstone.

I think I got what I needed today. :moustache:

That was a funny story to read. :rainbowlaugh: Celestia throwing a tantrum by using her sister as a battering ram to smash all of the porcelainwares to release all of her anger was really hilarious. :pinkiehappy:


Go home, Bob. You're drunk.

I'm slightly turned on, I think.
That's not necessarily a bad thing.
IKR? You don't know how many animals I had to sacrifice to make this happen.


You don't know how many animals I had to sacrifice to make this happen.


The answer is one.

It was me... :fluttercry:

So... THAT exists.

god bless based Kitsune he who shelters us from the hoarfrost he who writes the fic

Celestia's a jerk.


It's too dank for shelves.


I had a good giggle at this. Maybe partially because I read the title as Celestia Kills Luna With a Teacup at first, but I still enjoyed the story.



"No, sister! Why hath thou betrayed us?!"
"Because I realized that if there's no night, I'll never have to go through monday morning!"

This is silly. As the British colonel said to the mafia, "stop this".

Maybe Monty Python is a poor choice of precedent to use.

“Eeh. You’re buggered, mate.”

Hmm. Didn't realise the Palace guards were Australian. :trollestia:

B-but I like to spell it 'gryphon' :<

On a more relevant note: I'm actually digging the trend of people making follow ups to ridiculous fics. Reminds me of YTP tennis on youtube... cept YTP tennis ain't a thing no more 'cause people don't find YTP's funny anymore... I guess it could be construed as a meme but with 1-2 k word short stories xD

I don't know whether to laugh or groan. Good work.

This made absolutely no sense, but it was glorious nevertheless!

This is a reaction to Celestia kills the Gryphon Emperor with a teacup, right?

Kill Luna, no moon. No moon = no Monday! It's perfect... except for the part that involves killing Luna :(

Kitsune you glorious bastard you.

"This is a bad idea."
- Everyone, ever except Meri

Fixed that for you. :twilightsmile:

I think I just found my before-bed-reading for tonight. :moustache:

A story with a crazypants Celestia that's actually funny and doesn't come off as parroting the whole "Woona best and we should all hate Celestia" schtick?

Color me amazed, and use lots of crayons to do it! Have a favorite.

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