“That boy, always waiting until the last minute to do everything!” Your mother’s telltale tone of annoyance could be heard over the myriad of tones and sounds perforating the train station as you trotted towards the platform at a brisk, yet comfortable, pace. “We’ll miss the ride if he doesn’t show up soon.”
You round the corner, heading towards the wooden platform’s entrance. You scan the crowd standing around, ears perked as you listen for your companions’ voices. Eventually you spot them a few feet down the way. You smile as you see them, pushing your mother’s chastising aside, filing her assertion under blatant exaggeration. You aren’t a procrastinator, you just enjoy being punctual, no point in doing something before it actually needs to be done. Besides, this is important, and you hadn’t really had an opportunity to do it beforehoof, for multiple reasons.
Rarity is the first to take notice of your approach, heaving a relieved sigh while trotting towards you. The pair of you share a nuzzle, both of your anxieties calmed by the presence of the other. Both of you were nervous about this little trip, Rarity was finally going to learn about your past, and you were finally going to tell it to her.
“There you are, darling.” Rarity breathes, relieved. “I was worried you’d miss the train. Did you take care of, whatever it was you needed?”
You nod, somewhat surprised to see that Rarity didn’t inquire towards your little errand. You’d made the promise to avoid telling her secrets, but this would be… a little difficult to explain. Not like it’s that big of a deal, you had permission, after all, but still. It’d complicate things, and right now you’d rather avoid any and all undue complication.
A shrill high pitched whistle splits the otherwise serene air of the Ponyville train station. The noise startles you, making you jump. This little reaction gets a slight rise out of your traveling companions, who all share a little giggle or side-smile at your expense. You manage to avoid looking that depressed about it, but there’s no fighting away the thick red coloration of your cheeks.
“I think that’s our train…” Your father mumbles, craning his neck over the platform and to the right, staring at the oncoming beast of machinery and smoke. “Right on time too, how about that? Trains in Manehattan rarely are, let me tell ya, it’s a real pain the flank trying to make it to a business meeting halfway across town when your train’s fifteen minutes late.” He turns, smiling at Rarity. “If you ever do business there, remember to take the train leaving before the one you actually need to go on. You might be a half an hour early, but it’s a lot better than being half an hour late.”
Rarity giggles a bit in response to your father’s, actually not half bad, advice. “Duly noted.” She responds, voice raising over the sounds of the rapidly approaching train.
You take a moment to look over your belongings, smiling happily to yourself as you fumble through Rarity’s wonderful saddlebags. You still can’t believe just how well made they are, the thick faux leather bags even feel good to wear. Not in a purely romantic sense either, of course, it felt good to wear them because you were, in a way, supporting the mare you loved by doing so, but from a purely subjective standpoint they’re… they’re…
Well… to put it bluntly, they’re snug as fuck.
The straps align themselves around your body in such a way that you barely notice them, you even catch yourself double checking to make sure they’re secure every now and then because you can’t feel them to know for certain. And the bags themselves are made with the softest form of leather substitute you’ve ever had the fortune of feeling. Regular saddlebags were a bit bulkier and could cause irritation if worn for too long, but not these ones. There are very few things you’re particularly good at, but years of running errands and hauling stuff around for your father and his associates means that you can tell a good pair of saddlebags from a pair of bad ones, and these are a pretty damn good pair, no, that was an injustice, they are the best damn pair of saddlebags you’ve ever worn.
How on Equestria is Rarity not famous yet? You still can’t really fathom why.
Your ears twitch as the train comes screeching to a halt next to the thick wooden platform you’re standing upon, heavy metal wheels scraping against the rusted train tracks below, kicking up a shower of sparks and pouring forth thick grey plumes of smoke. You cough in response as you inhale some of the dirty metallic odor, standing a bit too close to the source of the smoke, it stings your eyes and tickles your throat, making the former water and the latter constrict.
You feel a slight tingle at the base of your tail and a spike of pain in your rear end as you’re pulled back a few steps in an extremely violent manner. You peer over your shoulder see Rarity’s horn alight and concerned amusement on her face as she magically tugs on your rear end.
“Please don’t fall onto the tracks…” She playfully warns. “We’ve had enough accidents for one week, don’t you think?”
You nod, smirking as you give your head a single heavy shake, forcing the cough in your throat away. “Right… gonna take more than a hospital visit to fix getting run over by a train.”
Rarity’s bemused expression morphs into a slightly more serious one as gives your tail another, even more vicious yank. Slight jolts of pain rocketing up and down your rump in response to the violent tug.
“Ow! Alright, sorry, no more jokes about my injuries. I get it.” You promise, rubbing at your now sore flank with a hoof.
Rarity purses her lips for a moment, before giggling and grabbing her things, levitating her numerous pieces of luggage all at once. Two suitcases and three hoofbags full of cosmetics, shampoos, and clothing. You’d told her to pack light, since you didn’t expect to be in Manehattan for very long, apparently this is her definition of ‘packing light’. Excessive luggage packing runs in the family, it seems.
You flinch and lay your ears back against your head as the hulking metal machine pulls to a dead stop in front of the station. The ear-splitting scraping noise of the train’s brakes scratching against the rusted metal of the tracks filled the air, only to be joined by the howling whistle. You still don’t understand why trains need to be so loud, it’s only several hundred tons of metal machinery…
A loud resounding bang resonates throughout the small station as the passenger car’s door opens up, a pudgy silver mare steps out, unicorn horn fizzling out as the luggage compartment nearby slides open. A few ponies nearby slide their luggage underneath, Rarity quickly does the same, apologizing profusely to a few other disgruntled riders who have to wait for her to place her exorbitant amount of baggage into the less than spacious compartment. You giggle as she struggles with the task, adjusting the saddlebags on your back, glad that you’d decided to pack light. Not like you really have much of a choice, after all, pretty much everything you’d owned previously disappeared in a giant ball of fire a couple months ago. Like that coffee table! Man… you miss that coffee table.
Eventually Rarity manages to get her supplies all packed up, minus the small sky blue carry on she’d packed for the trip itself, since it was going to take about a day to get to Manehattan.
“Sorry about that everypony!” She says to the small pack of disgruntled ponies who’d gathered around her, all equally upset at her for taking up their valuable time. “It’s like I always say, a lady must bring along all her necessities!” Rarity’s face turns upwards into a wide grin, doing what she can to alleviate some of the tension practically radiating off of the ponies around her, though it doesn’t seem to help much, several angry eyes staring her down, wordlessly telling her to beat it. She, wisely, does so. Shuffling off to stand next to you, worry written on her expression.
You chuckle as the crowd goes about it’s business. You peck Rarity on the cheek, she lets out a cute little squeak in response to your affectionate kiss, and blushes profusely in embarrasment.
“Gonna pack a little lighter next time?” You inquire playfully.
Rarity’s only response is a muffled, “Perhaps…”
“ALL ABOARD!” The conductor’s voice rings out, overpowering the incessant commotion of the ponies bustling about the small station. You reach into your saddlebag’s front pocket and secure your lips around the small blue ticket within, Rarity does the same, as does your mother and father.
The four of you approach the mare, who smiles and reaches into her uniform’s inner pocket. She retrieves a small square pair of spectacles and dons them, holding out her hoof to collect your tickets. Your father, ever the practical one, had opted to keep all of your tickets in his bag’s zip up pocket. The mare takes a moment to look over each ticket, verifying their legitimacy, it doesn’t take her long.
“Thank you very much sirs and madams.” She unzips a small fanny pack hooked to her waist and places the tickets within. “Your first class rooms are in the car right behind this one. Thank you for choosing Fleethoof Express, please enjoy your ride.”
Your father thanks the mare as she steps aside, letting you and your family pass. You step aside, giving your hoof a wide sweeping motion as Rarity walks by, shooting you a bemused glare in response to your overzealous display.
“Ladies first!” Your playful declaration earns you an amused smile from the mare, who promptly marches forth, you follow behind, admiring the interior of the train as you made your way towards the back.
The car itself smelt faintly of fresh leather, the car was made up of two rows of spacious velvet seats, the likes of which were colored a dark red, with yellow patchwork diamonds sewed into the seams for simple decoration. Each seat was accompanied by a pair of sliding windows to the right or left respectively. The windows were open at the moment, letting cool, refreshing, air blow through the otherwise stuffy interior of the train. You sigh in relief as the soothing wind brushes across your heated body, it wasn’t too hot today, not like it had been the last couple weeks, but the summer heat is still somewhat of a nuisance, and you’re glad for the relief.
Eventually you, your parents, and Rarity, all make it into the next car. This time, rather than two rows of seats, there’s two rows of small boxed in rooms. Sleeper cars, you realize. Your father hadn’t mentioned booking these, at least, not when you were around. But it makes sense, the train ride from Ponyville to Manehattan is a long one, it took you a good day and a half to make it here when you’d left originally.
“Welp, here we are.” Your father declares, his horn shimmering as he slides open the wooden door leading to the second room on the right aisle. He turns to you with a smirk. “Your mother and I figured you and Rarity would like to have a room to yourselves. What with how frisky you yungin’s are these days.”
You feel your cheeks redden somewhat at the jibe. “Okay then, which room’s ours?”
“That one, right next to ours.” He states, pointing his head towards the door you happen to be standing next to. “Holler if you need anything.”
With that, your father and mother disappear into their rooms, the door sliding shut behind them. You turn to Rarity, smiling at her. You reach over with a hoof and tug on the door and yank it open.
“Ladies first.” You say, stepping aside to let her in. The unicorn smirks and gives her head a flick, flirtatiously batting her eyes at you as she waltzed her way into the room.
You feel your chest flutter a little as a result to her sultry look. Well, maybe your father had a point… you can’t honestly say you wouldn’t mind getting a bit… ‘frisky’, if the opportunity presents itself.
Wasting no time you quickly follow the unicorn into your shared room. Stopping only long enough to set your saddlebag down near the door, and taking a moment to glance about the room.
Your eyes widen somewhat as you do. Well, looks like your father has spared no expense. The room is positively lavish. A large queen sized bed butts up against the far side of the room, adorned with fresh white blankets, elaborately decorated with red and gold embroidery, and accompanied by two sets of the most comfortable looking pillows you’ve ever laid eyes on. Next to the bed, on both sides, rests two sets of metal nightstands, the likes of which had been bolted into the smooth white carpet below to keep them from falling over when the train gets rolling. Paintings hang from the walls as decoration, the one right about the bed depicts a scenic view of a beach, with a sun setting in the background, painting the sky a blazing hot orange and the sea an alluring blood red, another, right next to the door, is a classic fruit bowl, set to a nice green backdrop. They’re very well made, and pleasing to the eye. The walls are painted a soothing creamy white, relaxing in their simplicity.
“My, this is positively delightful!” You hear Rarity exclaim as she too admires the room. “I’ve taken my fair share of train rides, but I had no idea the sleeper cars were so well furnished.” The mare turns to you, a playful expression playing on her face. “You’ve spoiled me darling, I’ll never be able to ride coach again.”
You smirk at her, walking over towards the comfy looking bed in the center of the room. You press a hoof down onto the mattress, humming quietly to yourself as it sinks pleasantly into the delicate cushions below.
“Well, hopefully you won’t have to. After all, a talented fashionista like you? Only a matter of time till you hit the big leagues.” You chuckle a little. “But, nice room or not, it’s still gonna be a bit of a ride. Shame I didn’t bring anything to pass the time…” You’d intended to nab the next Daring Do novel while you were at the library today, but, as Twilight had unfortunately informed you, Rainbow had rented the entire series for a ‘Daring Do Binge Night’, or something.
You feel a shiver dance up and down your spine as a familiar pair of hooves slowly worm themselves around your body, and you feel an involuntary blush rush to your cheeks as Rarity’s hot breath dances against your ear. Teasing you with it’s hot, tantalizing, touch.
“Now darling…” Rarity coos, and you can practically feel the smile on her lips as she snuggles against you. “You’re nothing if not resourceful… sure there isn’t some way we might be able to… make this ride a bit more… enjoyable?”
You groan as she plants a few delicate kisses against your cheeks. Excited jolts dancing across your body in response to the inevitable passion to come.
“I’m sure I can think of something…” You moan, pulling away from her loving attention, just long enough to shoot her a loving smirk. “Why don’t you get on the bed? I might just have something in mind…”
The unicorn smiles at your suggestion, and quickly obeys. She slowly clambers onto the bed, springs squeaking as she slowly turns around, sinking into the plushness of the comforter with a sigh. She bites her lower lip in excitement, and gently motions with a flick of her hoof for you to join her.
Your parents spent the next three hours wondering what that incessant banging noise was in the bunk next door.
another great chapter
Apparently the head board was doing some moving Thank goodness there's no lit candles on t to go dripping hot wax everywhere.
So much leather in this chapter...
This chapter is snug as fuck
I guess since it been awhile since the last chapter, but what was I doing that I had kept secret from Rarity?
Why would the parents wonder about the banging noise when the father already mentioned how young ponies are frisky?
4195216
Probably didn't think it would last THREE HOURS!
That surprised me so much I about choked.
Welcome back, G.
Three hours. I cannot get my head around that.
Still a good chapter, if only for a touch of filler until the big reveal.
4195750 You're right about that.
4194030
after reading your comment all I could think about was "Yes sir, you are welcome"
4199281
Hehe, glad someone got the reference. Thanks :3
The banging was actual banging.
Updaaaaaaaaaaaaaate
:D
4149783 That's awesome! Hopefully my ending'll be a bit less unpleasant to experience, thanks for the kind words.
4194000 Danke!
4194333 Snuggin' all day
4194630 Mmhm, glad you enjoy it
4194877 One day my friend! I've got plenty of original stories in the works, hopefully one of these days I can get paid to do what I love. Thanks for your continued appreciation!
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Glad to be here, and glad to be received by an old pal.
You use the phrase "the likes of which" twice, and i think you are using it wrong...
4203879 I'm a real rebel against society that way.
3 hours is a... VERY long time for banging on the wall. I mean, wouldn't you get a headache from that?
But seriously, that's a long time. Although, I guess you could chalk it up to 'pony stamina'.
In no particular order, some stuff I noticed was off:
Three hours is ridiculous, even on Viagra and the likes, nobody can last more than an hour and a half. And if you're going by Equine anatomy or whatever the hell word I should use there, most don't even last more than a few minutes. And how do "my" parents insinuate that I'm going to fuck Rarity, then wonder what the incessant banging noise coming from my room is? You also use italics way too often, and once in a place where emphasizing the word makes no sense at all. Carry on should be either carry-on or carryon, but not with a space.
"You still don’t understand why trains need to be so loud, it’s only several hundred tons of metal machinery…" They're only several hundred tons, not it's.
Apparently, my ever practical father kept the tickets in his zipper pocket, but I am able to reach into my own saddlebag to retrieve my ticket. The description of the paintings is some horrible comma splice or another, not sure completely but it looks and sounds off. Why would my mother be worried about missing the train if I'm being punctual as ever? Hell, I'm not sure you know what punctual means the way you use it hear, it means on time, not waiting until the last minute to do anything. How do the sounds of the train station "perforate", or punch holes, in the station itself? Even defining the world very liberally, it makes no sense that ALL the tones and sounds are piercing the station, a single one, perhaps, but the myriad of them?
"You still can’t really fathom why." I REALLY can't fathom why? This is too wordy, "I still can't fathom why" is understandable, but the really seems redundant. "You really can't fathom why" also works, but the two together don't. So tell me, why is Rarity worried about me being run over by the train when it's already come to a screeching halt? Oh, I see, it pulls to a dead stop AFTER the conversation and tail yanking. The wording of the first stop makes it seem as though it already has stopped. Don't describe her breath as hot twice in a row, one right after the other, it ruins the effect. You used "The likes of which" wrong twice, it's not another way to say which or that. The part about Daring Do novels really kills any romantic mood that could have been there, don't even pretend I wasn't thinking about sex when I said there was nothing to pass the time.
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Can't argue with those criticisms I guess. Outside of the pony stamina thing, I don't really make any effort to be true to equine biology outside of hooves being a thing and I thought 3 hours was a funnily long length of time, so I used it. Thanks for the feedback. Though you sound kind of butthurt about my pony fanfiction, I mean, I appreciate it and all but I'm not really going to make any bones about giving much of a damn about how mechanically sound this particular fic is.
Truth is, I'm writing it for shits, and people enjoy it. I fix things when I can and how I can, but I'm not going to pour hours into tweaking every little thing to make sure it's all up to snuff. I don't get paid for this, I write it in my free time (what little of that I have), and post it up for the people who want to see this fic reach a conclusion. I don't go around stroking my own ego about how excellent I think my writing is, so the inherent hostility I feel coming from your comment seems kind of unwarranted. Again, maybe that's just how I'm reading it, and I don't mean to keep you from expressing your opinion/criticism, just want to say that I think you might need to relax a little and not take this quite so seriously.
Now, all that aside, I'll take what you've said and try to think on your suggestions and look out for the flaws you've outlined in your comment for future use. Your words are appreciated, thank you and have a nice day.
4320560 Okay.
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Three hours?!?! I mean dang I knew I was good, but I didn't know I was that good...
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I'm not going to lie I feel pretty awesome right now. Everypony better be impressed with my awesome stamina.
I can only imagine the parents reaction to hearing that
1st minute in: what is that banging sound? No! you don't think they are...
5 minutes in: oh yes, they definitely are...
30 minutes in: wow this had better stop soon, I never knew my son was like this.
1 hour in: wow, I can't be mad right now, that's impressive.
2 hours in: ok, there's no way... I'm almost scared to check though.
3 hours in: Alright we have now ruled our first thought out, what the heck are they doing in there!?!
I'm so glad I finally got caught up on this story. I tell you college can be hell sometimes, for a while their I didn't know what the word free time meant anymore.
Great chapter as always, but I still don't know all these secrets I'm keeping... And then you add another bombshell with that secret off the start... I swear you're just trying to kill me aren't you.
(I was so serious in my comment last chapter that I felt two mostly humorous comments were in order, you're welcome.)
4351977 Lol, glad to see you're enjoying it so far!
That's one enormous train carriage that they're sitting in. A queen-sized bed is usually 6ft across, while the widest section of your average train carriage is only about 9ft across. So that's only 1.5ft of clearance either side - with two nightstands, no less! Absolutely zero room for a corridor there, so Rarity, the protagonist and his parents must have had to clamber around the outside to get to their rooms.
Other than that little niggle it was another excellent chapter, and one step closer to the reveal of that massive life-changing event that I've had it up to here with the damned thing being teased.
I start with this disclaimer: I love Sparity. I mean LOVE IT. I truly abhor seeing Spike heartbroken because Rarity takes someone else, especically when he know that the mare of his dreams more than likely is taking him for granted or otherwise ignore him. And it is a constant stab to him to see and somehow know that his crush is getting so much sex from an proper adult pony that he knows that he will never fulfill that wish. I just feel for him, because I think that I am him in some ways. And apparently this story is yet another story where Spike is rejected because Rarity wants (and got) a sweet stallion.
I also will admit that I have not read all the story, I started reading around roughly the middle. No worries---when that is updated, I will restart at the beginning. That's a promise..
Obviously Rarity has her perfect stallion....I'm still waiting for the scene where she has to gently let Spike down, the whole "I like you as a friend" or "You're too young and it's only crush" conversation. I know he's a side character in this work, but I can't help by hoping that at some point Rarity and her stallion actually help Spike by the two of them finding Spike his own "Rarity", as it were. Personally I think that as generous Rarity is, and her stallion would be good friends with the dragon despite his accident, the two of them care enough about Spike to help him with his rejection and find someone for him that won't take away. Sort of a "I'm sorry for breaking your heart, but I want to help you heal and be you friendly sweet self again."
Just a thought.
4420231 During the first Rarity centered chapter I had her make mention of thinking about how Spike was a wonderful little gentlecolt in his own right, and that he'd make good boyfriend material. The problem is his age, he's entirely too young to start a relationship of that sort with her. She intends to let him down gently, but I'm not going to show that particular conversation in this fic. Nor do I intend to have either the protagonist or Rarity spend a great deal of time helping him find a pony his own age to fall in love with. I don't know how far along you are, but the pair of them are a bit busy at the moment dealing with something significantly more serious.
It's a nice set of ideas, but Spike isn't the focus of this fic. Honestly I probably wouldn't have used him at all if I didn't find a way to incorporate it into pushing the plot along, and the fact that having Rarity shipped with someone other than him always begs the question as to how it would affect him.
4421868
I have seen the type of guy, and I have to admit; Dude's a great catch. Compassionate, honorable, a hell of a lover (due to the implied scenes where he literally fucks Rarity crazy to the point that it's a forgone conclusion that they are marrying each other.), and he got the mysterious aura around him, but in a good way.
I hope everything comes up ultimately roses for the two, especially if there are a few thorns with those roses.
4351969 And eventually the parents can't help but start thinking this.
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