• Member Since 18th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 16th, 2015


Just another writer that aims to entertain. Nothing to see here, move along. Though yes, I am very feminist. Don't like it? That's nice.


After her whole life as one of only two alicorns, Cadance is finally introduced to Luna. To call it awkward would be an understatement of the highest caliber.

A silly little something I wrote for a good friend of mine when she was having a bad day. Here's hoping it gets a laugh or a smile or two out of somebody else. Sex tag is for risqué jokes and discussions.

Featured on the front page from December 22nd to 25th, 2013!

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 198 )

Wait. Is Twilight with Zecora in this story?

This. Was. Awesome. Well done sir.

:rainbowlaugh: Well, that was pretty damn funny.

That's the implication, yes. :derpytongue2:

Why, thank you! :rainbowkiss:

I try my best! :pinkiehappy:

The mare who walked in on us was quite the athlete, and we all found out that day that it is possible to geld a stallion with a single kick.”
“Fitting indeed for a colt that couldn’t keep his blade sheathed,” Luna snickered

:twilightoops::applejackconfused: Kinda brutal punishement for merely being a jerk. I don´t think anything less than rape deserve that.
Leaving that aside, funny story. Kinky, liberated Cadence is best Cadence.:pinkiehappy:

The description promised awkward and it delivered.

Luna and the riding crop made that a bit more kinky than I expected.

Tis a fine tale that I greatly enjoyed. :raritywink:

There... really is no right way to answer that, so I think I'm gonna avoid it if you don't mind. :twilightoops: Glad the rest of the story made ya laugh, though! :rainbowkiss:

Tried my best to deliver! :pinkiehappy:

And... I can't stop laughing, because out of context just saying "Luna and the riding crop" makes this sound like a very different story to people who haven't read it yet! :rainbowlaugh:

Thanks again for looking it over, man! And woo, it got featured! I have no idea how or why, but awesome! :yay:

Fun story, you captured Luna's personality very well.

So akward, and so kinky. Just the way I like it. :rainbowwild:

"Luna and the Riding Crop."

Thank you! I've had a bit of practice with Luna in other stories, truth be told. Love working with her. :twilightsmile:

I think a lot of us like it that way. :trollestia:

Okay, that seriously needs to be a porno now. That needed to be a porno yesterday. :rainbowlaugh: Anybody wanna write that?

Damn, I was almost expecting shipping,

Actually, it occurred to me while I was writing this that when Cadance is shipped with another alicorn, it's only ever really Twilight, and even that's rare. She's only ever shipped with Luna or Celestia in a handful of clop fics, but not anywhere else. Since I am a bit of a fan of unconventional shipping, I'm probably gonna write a Cadance/Luna and/or Cadance/Celestia story sometime in the future. :ajsmug: I know I definitely have a Twilight/Cadance story planned.

I'd read in a heartbeat

3666067 i'll write it...

I was expecting some hot Luna-on-Cadance princest action... until I saw the 'teen' tag. :fluttershysad:

Well, then if you don't wanna add me to your watch list, I'll try to remember to let you know when I release one of them. :pinkiehappy:

If you really wanna give it a shot, then god speed, ya mad bastard! :rainbowwild:

Sorry to disappoint? :rainbowlaugh: Not everything's porn, man.

This is a work of genius! Fave and a follow, my friend!:twilightsmile:

This is quite the good story c: It had me laughing to see how well you displayed the gap of knowledge and, of course, Luna's experiences and humor versus Cadence's! :raritystarry:

But there is one thing- I think theres 2 instances where you mention Celestia 'cantering' out of the room or moving in that gait. That would imply that she is in a hurry, as for horses/ponies a canter is one speed/gait down from a gallop- which is the full throttle speed for equines.

Oh my god, the giggles are never ending. :rainbowlaugh:
Great job man, good to see that you're feeling well enough to write such a great comedy!

The mare who walked in on us was quite the athlete, and we all found out that day that it is possible to geld a stallion with a single kick.


Anyway...good story, loved it!


You done did this damn good.

Loved the banter you created.

Well done, well done indeed.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Can't say I approve of all the shipping and such (Twi x Zecora??), but damn good fic anyway. :pinkiehappy:

Well then.

Nicely done. However, one complaint. The comics clearly point out the Luna is not gay. She developed quite the crush on Big Mac during one of her trips to Ponyville.... then again, it's like Big Mac has a natural attraction for mares falling head over hoof for him. XD

Stone-cold, projecting that 'concrete wall of a mare' image even when embarassed, Luna is really, really scary. But well played. Even if Twi x Zecora is somewhat weird.

I wouldn't call it that! :rainbowlaugh: But thank you very much! :pinkiehappy:

Glad you liked! I put a lot of thought into it. :pinkiehappy: Though... huh. I honestly didn't know that. I thought that cantering was between a trot and a gallop, like between a walk and a run. Is there a word for that for horses? I don't want to repeat the same mistake. :twilightsheepish:

Glad I am too, and I'm glad so many people like it! :yay: And thanks for the concern. Things have actually gotten worse lately, but I just decided to toss my misery in the drawer and focus on making other people happy. :pinkiehappy:

:trollestia: Glad you were entertained, though!

Thank you! Dialogue is my specialty. Mostly glad you were entertained!

Thank you! Mostly hope you were entertained. :twilightsmile: And oh hush, it was just one little line. :rainbowlaugh: Though if I'm inclined, I may write TwiCora later. :rainbowwild:


No offense to you personally, but when it comes to yet another fictional character being portrayed as straight in a sea of straight characters that is our media, where queers are barely recognized and erased at every turn, I must say that I...

Well, she certainly can be scary when she wants to be... especially during/before the Nightmare Night episode, I imagine. :twilightoops: And if an ancient mare and the girl she raised can get together in this fandom and have tons of fans, I can ship a pony and a zebra. :ajsmug: Glad you enjoyed!

As long as you're able to deal with it that's good, and dealing with it like this seems to have been rather fortuitous! :pinkiehappy:

3667269 Hehe no problem! And well, a walk would be the slowest gait, which is just normal, If you want fast walking, then a working walk or trot is what you would use! C: A trot is the bouncy gate which is just like a person jogging. After that is cantering/loping, which would be like a person running. It's relaxed and used for something like jumping, and then gallop would be a full out sprint. Trotting or an extended trot (which is the fastest step of the trotting gate) would probably be your best option! C: If you have any other questions I'd be more than willing to help.

(Indoor voice, Luna. We talked about this.)
(...yes, of course. Thy story hath amused us, scribe!)

I am guessing my sister and I’s intimacy...
...always offering my sister and I their sons...
...the more humorous details of my sister and I’s lives.

This is something which trips up a lot of people, because grade-school teachers spend so much time drilling it into our heads that saying "___ and me" – as in, "My brother and me went to the movies" – is incorrect (which it is) that we start reflexively shying away from using "___ and me" under any circumstances. However, this actually depends on the pronoun's position in the sentence; "and I" is not always correct. In these cases:

I am guessing my and my sister’s intimacy...
...always offering me and my sister their sons...
...the more humorous details of my and my sister’s lives.

In the first and third instances, you're dealing with possessives; in the second, "me" and "my sister" are the object of the sentence following the verb, not the subject, so "me" is actually correct.

(Here's a memory trick I like to use: "'I' am the subject, but the object is 'me'.")
(Thank you, Ms. Cheerilee.)

When in doubt, remove the additional noun and see if the sentence is still correct with just "I" or "me":

» I am guessing my sister and I’s intimacy offended you in some way? (Nnnope.) :eeyup:
» What my coltfriend and I do is our my business. (Yay!) :yay:
» (...)the nobles of the time were quite an entitled bunch, always offering my sister and I their sons for marriage in return for favors. (Nnnope.) :eeyup:

If you don't like the "my and my sister's" construction (which does "sound" odd, even though it's grammatically correct), then restructure the sentence to either eliminate the possessive and make the compounded noun into the object of the sentence:

I am guessing the intimacy between my sister and me offended you in some way?

or eliminate the compound entirely and just use a plural possessive, if it works:

...the more humorous details of our lives.

3667269 Not saying that there are no les characters in mlp. Most mlp characters haven't been confirmed as either straight or gay. Sure, there are theories, but most are left wide-open to guesswork. However, Luna has been confirmed to be straight. Thus, why I nitpicked that detail. Had it not been confirmed in cannon, I wouldn't have even commented on the thoughts of her being otherwise. But, since it's been confirmed, it just slightly irked me. Not enough to prevent me from liking the fic though. It's still well written.^_^


This was great, man. Funny, sweet, full of slice-of-life goodness. Great job. :ajsmug:

On the other hand, the comics appear to exist in their own separate canon, since the show has already contradicted several things seen in the comics, so the evidence is pretty thin either way.

3667507 Only one detail I can think of was conflicted, and it wasn't clear on it anyways. That being Twilight Velvet's awards for Daring Do. But those awards never specifically stated she was the WRITER of the books. She could just be the publisher or editor. It was never clear on it.

To say the least! Favorite notifications are pouring in left and right. :twilightoops:

Thanks for the info! If I need any advice from an equine expert, I'll know who to look up. :pinkiehappy:

Oh god, I thought I was done with this in high school! :raritydespair:
In all seriousness, thanks for at least making the grammar lesson entertaining and colorful. I'll try to keep that in mind in the future. :twilightsmile:

Thank you very much! Glad to entertain!

Look, I can tell you have no ill will, and I don't want to cause a ruckus, but please listen to me when I say this: it is very rude to say to an author, however politely, that you shouldn't write a character as queer - especially when the author is queer. In this day and age and culture, one of the ponies being established as queer is never going to happen.

So with that context in mind, you are saying that a character showing attraction to the opposite sex is your justification - and the justification of many people less kind than you - to tell us "you can't write that character that way, they're not queer," when no actual canon queer characters will ever be made. You're telling us that our only hope of creating representation through fanfiction is for as many characters as possible to stay ambiguous, otherwise it is okay for queer authors or authors who write queer characters to be constantly reminded of just how little queer representation there is, and possibly even get harassed over it. And for some reason, despite the fact we will never get canon characters to identify with, you feel the need to voice the fact that it bothers you that we write "straight" characters as queer. That is just rude, unfair, and depressing to queer people that are incredibly aware of how few of us appear in mainstream fiction as it is.

Now go forth and offend the oppressed no more. They will not all be as polite as I am at the moment, and if you're one of those people who retort that we should just be happy with our lack of representation or that it isn't that bad (or otherwise belittle or shrug off the struggle and feelings of LGBT), I will cease to be so accommodating. :scootangel:

That too.

You do know not everyone reads comics, right? Since they cost, like, money and stuff. Or people just aren't interested. But hey, remember, fanfiction. Which, of course, means the author can write the characters in different situations and experiences that the show never portrays. Which means if Luna is lesbian, then so be it, because that's how the author wrote it and that's the way it's gonna be. :twilightsmile:

3667800 Well, let me rephrase.... I don't mind the idea of Luna liking girls as well. A character being bi is fine as well. But, it just was clearly shown that she clearly can be quite attracted to males considering interactions with Big Mac.... Now, whether or not she's attracted to BOTH males and females, that's up in the air and likely will never be touched upon.

As I stated before, I was just SLIGHTLY irked. Not majorly so. ... though, admittedly, I admit I can be a little too stubborn when it comes to getting my point across. An unfortunate weakness of mine, I admit. :\ XD

Anyways, that's all I have left to say on the matter.

Regardless though, you still wrote the fic quite well. You're quite a skilled author, and I'm not surprised this made front page.^_^

Look, right now I'm in a pretty good mood after an awful few months, and I'm delighted to have made so many people laugh, and I don't wanna ruin that with further argument. It's pretty clear you're not really listening that intently beyond the fact that I don't agree with you, so yes, let's just let this discussion die.

3667269 Nah, I get it. You were just messin around. But yea, loved it.

The description - and discussion - of Midnight Dreary put me in mind of the books supposedly written by Dr. Temperance Brennan in the TV show "Bones", where she wrote it for the mystery and accurate science, but it sold for the steamy sex that was added only to denote the passage of time.

That point aside, this bit was hilarious, and while I personally am not fond of stories representing any of the cast as gay - not out of any personal taste, but more because it would mean I'd have no chance with them, especially Luna who I have a fan crush on - but I can appreciate the wriing and how it was played. Very well done, and a very nice story.

For all it's risque, I QUITE thoroughly enjoyed this! This was just the thing I needed to put a smile on my face! Well done!

3667443 Cannon be damned, this is fanfiction. That's the whole point, you take the cannon and tweak it a bit or tweak it a lot, and make a story with those tweaks. Changing the sexuality of a character is one of those tweaks. It's fine if you like straight Luna, but don't harp on others who like les/bi Luna as well.

3668277 I don't mind if she's bi. Just irked me when it was said she didn't like stallions when cannon shows otherwise. Don't mind if she likes girls as well.*shrug*

3668366 Isn't that kind of contradictory?

Just irked me when it was said she didn't like stallions when cannon shows otherwise. Don't mind if she likes girls as well.

At least, that's how it sound to me.

3668371 Simple misunderstandin' there then, eh?^_^

Never really seen much of Bones (parents apparently watch it, though), but that sounds about right! And glad you liked it! :pinkiehappy: Though...

and while I personally am not fond of stories representing any of the cast as gay - not out of any personal taste, but more because it would mean I'd have no chance with them, especially Luna who I have a fan crush on -

*rolls eyes into the heart of a collapsing star* We all have our desire for wish fulfillment, mate, but ya still might wanna keep that tidbit to yourself. It's kind of rude to tell a queer that queer characters get in the way of your personal fantasies.

Eeee, so glad! :raritystarry: All I ever really wanted to accomplish with this story!

Okay, Treason? I kindly request that you cut it out. This is not tumblr; this is not the place to educate straight guys on how to act decently about sexual minorities. Regreme? I not-so-kindly request you cut it out. I've already detailed why when I tried to explain to you how incredibly rude you were being and how your little peeve is atrociously unfair given our current cultural context. I do not feel like repeating myself.

If you want to discuss this, please do so privately.

Alright, I will. No offense meant.

3668423 Oh, whoops, sorry about that. :twilightsheepish: Didn't mean to cause trouble.

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