• Published 13th Oct 2013
  • 6,948 Views, 247 Comments

The Elements of Harmony Do Not Exist in This Story - Queuefka Palazzo



Luna was never banished, Discord is Celestia's court jester, the Elements of Harmony do not exist, and Twilight grows more pompous and more egotistical every day. Celestia is not amused.

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Prologue

Twilight Sparkle began her life as the daughter of two middle class unicorns. Her parents loved her dearly and did their best to raise her to be a kind, considerate mare. They taught her manners, they taught her poise, and they taught her to never take the last cupcake without asking.

Twilight Sparkle never found much use for these lessons because she preferred the secluded life of a book worm. Her only real friend was her brother, who never learned how to say "no" to mares, which would cause problems later in his life. He did everything he could to ensure his little sister wanted for nothing.

Twilight Sparkle was very intelligent and knowledgeable for her age. She took great pleasure in learning things, and as she grew older she would find she took even greater pleasure from using her knowledge to humiliate and spite other ponies. Currently, however, she was a demure and timid creature, who sought only the refuge of her mind in lieu of the complexities and insecurities of social interaction.

It would not be a lie to say her parents accidentally taught her to fear and be intimidated by social interaction when they insisted she learn how to behave in high society. It would not be a lie to say her brother's protective doting prevented her from taking the risks, which would have taught her many, many important lessons about friendship.

On a warm summer day Twilight Sparkle, a 6 year old filly, was sitting in a waiting room of Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. She was the youngest unicorn in a generation to be scheduled to take the entrance exam. With her were her parents, who smiled proudly at their prodigy daughter.

It would not be a lie to say she looked like a frazzled mess. She was out of her element. She was being asked to perform in front of strangers. She was being asked to volunteer to be taken from her cozy home for eight hours each day. She was being asked to end the life she knew, the life she loved.

"Don't worry about a thing, sweetie. You're going to do fine. You did very well when we went through the practice material back home." Her mother nuzzled her gently. Her mother did not understand Twilight's apprehension.

"Listen to your mother, darling. And stop chewing your hooves. Or fidgeting. Or having eye ticks. Polite ponies do not do those things. We want to leave a good first impression, yes?"

Twilight said nothing as she stared at the door of the testing room.

"Respond, Twilight. Yes?"

"Y-yes, daddy."

"We are in public. Please, call me "father"."

"Yes, father."

And so they waited. Many older unicorn foals, most of whom already had their cutie marks, came and went from the testing room. Some of the departing ponies had wide grins on their faces and were chatting excitedly with their families. Some of the departing ponies were crying and inconsolable. Moderate reactions were few, which was understandable because this single day would decide the futures and careers of every single applicant.

Twilight did not pass her test. Twilight obliterated her test. She purposefully sabotaged her own exam by overpowering every spell and losing control catastrophically. She purposefully put on a show for her parents to make it look like she was genuinely trying to pass, but was too frazzled to concentrate. She purposefully electrocuted one of her exam proctors over and over again when asked to entice lightning from a cloud. She purposefully crushed a bowling ball in her telekinesis when asked to bowl. She purposefully curdled milk into cheese when asked to pasteurize it. She purposefully turned the entire exam room into a botanical nightmare when asked to sprout a seed.

Twilight was breathing heavily after exerting herself so much. Her magic reserves were running lower than she had ever felt them before. Her legs were wobbling and her head was pounding.

One of the proctors cleared his throat, which broke Twilight from her exhaustion induced haze. She expected she would be told she had failed the test miserably. She expected she would be sent back to her cozy home in "shame". She expected she would bear the burden of her parents' disappointment, but be praised for her effort.

She did not expect how dramatically her future was about to change course.

"This... Has been an incredibly unique examination process. I believe I speak for everypony here when I say we received some very interesting and unexpected results. We wish to perform one more test before we deliver our final judgement."

The truth was the proctors had already decided Twilight was going to pass. Her young age and sheer power were more than enough to cinch her acceptance. After all, how could one so young be expected to control a power so great? The final test was meant to determine exactly how powerful she was, not determine the status of her application.

Twilight gaped. They were supposed to tell her she was garbage. They were supposed to tell her they didn't want somepony, who couldn't control her magic. They were supposed to tell her she was a disgrace, who deserved to be locked away... with plenty of books. They were supposed to tell her to just go home. But they had not and Twilight vowed on her precious book collection she would screw up the next test so far beyond recognition they would have no choice but to turn her away.

After a significantly long wait they brought an ornate box into the room. Twilight could see the form of a speckled object, but could not identify it until they set it down in front of her. It was an egg.

"We want you to hatch this for us, Twilight."

She squeezed her bleary eyes as she spoke in a wobbly voice. "But... I've never done that!"

"We know. This is a special test. Just do what comes naturally to you."

And so she did the only thing, which made sense to her exertion addled mind. She pumped all of the remaining magic of her tiny, frail body into the egg. She put every bit of magic she could find into it until the egg shone with a serene, lavender light. Neither she nor anypony else realized she was pulling from far beyond her natural magic reserves. She was pulling from the very essence of her self. She was pulling from her soul.

She would have died that day if the egg had not hatched into a fully grown dragon and destroyed part of Canterlot Castle. The destruction alerted the Princesses, Celestia and Luna, who quickly slew the dragon and poured their healing magics into the fading light of Twilight.

Not many ponies have the honor of having their leaking souls restored by the Divine Blessings of the Princesses. It had not happened in many generations, and it will not happen again. It will not happen again. On that day Twilight became more than a commoner. She had been infused with the Light of Sun and the Shine of Night and she became the Mortal Inheritor of the Sunset.

If this were a fairy tale this story would end here, but it is not. This is a story of ego and pride mixed with humiliation and shame. This is the story of the Twilight Sparkle, who never rose above her faults, who never learned the true value of friendship, and who never became a hero.

Author's Note:

This chapter was very hard to write. The tone of this chapter will not match the tone of the rest of the story because I want Twilight's youth to explain why she grew up the way she did. I want you guys to understand who she is as an adult by understanding who she was as a child. I want this to be a genuine jab at who Twilight was before she moved to Ponyville without being a trollfic or hatefic, so I'm starting this with a somewhat affectionate retelling of her entrance exam.