This isn't where I belong. I left all this behind years ago, moved on with my life. But a mare from my past brought me back, and now she won't let me go. So I'm stuck here, trying to make the best of it with ponies that don't understand me, don't even like me. But when something moves in the darkness, and when things go wrong in the cold, dead night, they'll turn to me to try to set things right.

Why? Because once a police pony, always a police pony.
~~
This is a spin-off story to 'Why am I Pinkie Pie?!', and will contain spoilers for that story, but it's not necessary to read that story to understand this one.
Cover art by the talented Conicer
Need more Cinnamon Swirl? Merlos the Mad wrote a fanfic of this story!

There is now a side-story: A Hard Day's Nightmare Night

Diamond Tiara has a secret. She likes Anime. Loves it, even. But nopony can find out. Not her parents, or her friend, or her classmates... Nopony! They'd never understand! They'd laugh at her, call her names, tell her *gasp* They would say she's uncool!

Well, it can't be that hard to keep such a secret from everypony in Ponyville, can it?

Shining Armor and Princess Cadance's wedding didn't exactly go off without a hitch - in more ways than one. But with the day's excitement over, the pair head to the honeymoon suite in Canterlot Castle for a different kind of excitement. However, Princess Cadance has something she needs to tell her husband...

A/N: Started "one-shot" fic, written after reading "Adventures of a Teenage Foalsitter" and realizing there was a decided lack of romantic and knowing/consenting Shining Armor x Queen Chrysalis. The first chapter can be read as a standalone story, but, well I suppose it's obvious, the story does go on.

When Discord returns to Ponyville, the ponies think they already know all of his tricks. But when Twilight Sparkle gets sent to another dimension, where Pegasi dwell on Butterfly Island and Unicorns make rainbows in Unicornia, there seems to be no way to reunite the ponies! The Elements will have to find new hosts, and Twilight some new friends, as the ponies of this new world will have to learn true danger and bravery, and Twilight true friendship.

~~~~
This is my first pony fanfic. I just felt like letting you know.
If you're too lazy to read, there are very fine Youtube readings of this story by this fine fellow and this fine fellow. I do revise my story a lot, though, so they might be outdated. Sorry about that! ^^;

(Now with Fanart!)

Scootaloo's rather embarrassed by her Mom. Not because she isn't cool, arguably she's both the hottest and the coolest mom in Ponyville. It's not about the fact that her mom serves on the royal court either, though that doesn't help. Maybe it's got more to do with the fact that the reason her mom is almost never seen after sunrise or before sunset, or because before the Mare in the Moon returned to Equestria, she knew her name.

Or, you know, that her mother is a chocoholic, an embarrassing know it all that's actually lived it all, owes personal favors to Princess Luna, and has the unfortunate job description of 'ruler of the land and day'. Sure, having Celestia as your mom is cool and all, but at the same time nopony can know who she really is. Nopony gets to 'know' her, and every moment is guarded against snooping visitors. And yet, there's still hope for a better day to come. Even when all your mom's enemies and rivals finally come home to roost and ruin your day. It can't be all bad, right?

Now with a Trope Page: Scootamom on TVTropes

And Fanart:
[img]http://fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2012/266/8/9/scootamom_by_familywing-d5fnnov.jpg[/img]

After an accident, Rarity and Twilight are thrown in a race against time to stop their transformation into changelings before they become part of Chrysalis' swarm forever.

Spike loses a bet to Snips and Snails. The consequence? Ask Scootaloo out on a date. But what starts off as a frivolous punishment for the baby dragon ends up becoming much more rewarding than he ever expected.

Hayseed Turnip Truck isn't the smartest pony in Equestria. Actually, to put it bluntly, he's about as sharp as a bowling ball, and just as cultured as one. But when he gets a letter from his distant cousin inviting him to the richest city in the country, even he's smart enough to see the opportunity of a lifetime presented to him. Will he be able to adapt to the snooty, pompous, and upscale life in Canterlot? How will the city's residents react to a simply country pony like him? And what could possibly ensue?

Shenanigans, hi-jinks, and hilarity, that's what, but not necessarily in that order.

Thanks to Ghost, for unwittingly letting me use his cover image.
And to AlicornPriest, for editing. Shine on you nitpicky bastard.

Lyra loves Bon-Bon very, very much.

Enough, in fact, to overlook the cream-coloured, beautiful-voiced, wondrous-smelling mare's raging, overwhelming, caricatural homophobia.

This would be the state of the union; Pinkie Pie, however, being as she is, thinks all this 'unrequited love' nonsense is nonsense for silly fillies and dusty old books, and as such decides to intervene.

Background PinkieDash.

omaigawd I got put on eqd

now with a reading

Have you ever woken up somewhere you don't recognize? I have, once before. This time was not all that different. Headache? Check. Dry mouth? Check. Upset stomach? Check. Hooves? Uhm, that one is new.

Hi, I'm Bruce and I'm 32. Currently, I'm in a light blue Earth Pony foal's body no one has ever seen before. The rest of Equestria thinks I'm 9 and something really traumatic happened to me. It doesn't help I swear like a sailor and I could really go for a smoke right about now. I just hope that the Everfree Forest, rampaging monstrosities, evil dark abominations against God and the Cutie Mark Crusaders don't kill me before I have just one last drag.

Oh, and ponies are hella creepy when you really think about it. Geez.

A little comedy side project. EDIT: HAHA Main project. More characters to be added if I get that far. Categories might be refined as I write. Entire thing is unplanned except vaguely. Don't Expect excessive cursing to be written out, just hinted at. Oh, and as the character is a 30-ish year old in the body of a 9 year old, sexual jokes might exists but sex itself will not occur.

Special thanks to user Momomojito for the awesome-tastic picture! First fanart, I'm so HAPPY. I've gotten more since then! I should collect it all here. Collected!