Celestia whimpered fitfully in her sleep. Sweat trickled down her body as she feebly kicked and squirmed in the tangled nest of blankets she had formed out of her sheets. The cool night air did nothing to soothe her, only further fueling the nightmare that gripped her dreams. The setting moon edged under the top sill of her window, it's pale moonlight casting long and dreadful shadows across the comfortable bedroom of her secret home. One pane of light arced out across the room, tickling her eyelids with it's cool light, wanting in.
Celestia flipped over, unconsciously tugging at a wing she had pinned beneath her bulk as her nightmare intensified. Why wouldn't it all go away? She dug her face into a pillow, hiding her eyes even as a figure alighted upon her balcony. It's wings spread, and it's horn dimmly glowing with the blue of a midnight sky, it advanced upon Celestia, quietly stalking into her room and touching her horn to horn.
---------------------------------------
"Monster!" "Murderer!" "Failure!"
Celestia's heart pounded within the barrel of her chest, demanding escape as she squirmed deeper into the corner that she had found herself in. A million faces filled her vision, each marred by anger or disfiguration as they glared down upon her. Her mistakes judged her, and found her wanting before them in the deepest darkest corner of the world.
"Please- no. I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry. I tried to do the best I could! I tried to save you!" Celestia writhed back from the touches, feeling as weak and feeble as a filly before her cutie mark.
Stickiness ran underhoof, pinning her in place as the accusing eyes drew nearer, as the hateful shouts grew louder. She dared not look at it as she tried to cover her eyes with her wings, discovering to her horror that they had shrunk to the little nubs that a pre-flight foal had. Heartbeats thundered in her ears, no, a raw heart pounded it's pulse before her, exposed and squirting as it beat solemnly.
"You called yourself a conquering hero!" "You said you would save us!" "YOU LEFT YOUR POST!"
Celestia could feel her heart ready to burst as she screamed in horror, unable to control herself any longer. Filthy hooves and appendages raked themselves against her fur, staining it with the blood she had shed and the lives she had spent. Raking and grabbing... and caressing and hugging?
The shouts were fading, noise in the distance over the sound of a heartbeat once more. Not frantic and mad, or solemnly accusing. The heartbeat of soempony who loved. Celestia dared not open her eyes, fearing what could be all around her as the feathers tightened around her form. It was all a trick, the demons wanted her to let her guard down, she had to fight, she had to-!
"Tia, you are still LOVED."
Celestia's lip trembled as she slowly looked up; smelling the warm, sweet breath of a mare she dearly loved rushing past her. Purple eyes opened, looking up into Luna's own as the dark alicorn of dreams leaned her head in a little further, touching Celestia nose to nose. A white aura surrounded her, granting her an aethereal feel as the lunar alicorn tightly hugged the one she loved.
"But, all that I did- I-"
"You did the best you could with the hoof granted to you and with your own temperament. Nopony more could ask much more of you. You have failed, yes Tia. But you are still our beloved guiding light. Our first, and better." Luna's wings swirled nebulously around Celestia's shrunken form, giving her comfort as her young counterpart comforted her.
Heartbeats slowed, the tense and frightened shudder in Celestia's breath fading as her nightmare recoiled and faded at the presence of the dream guardian When she finally looked beyond Luna's presence, great rolling plains verdantly greeted her, a gentle twilight sky lighting the landscape all around them. She knew these plains, that sky. The old lands, the last time she had gotten to just be Luna's...
"Rest, beloved Tia. And with the morning's light, we will talk." Luna unfurled her wings, releasing the pint-sized Celestia from her comforting embrace and filling her with a youthful energy. "Be young, as you long ago gave up. Be young, and joyous. We shall not let thy nightmare intrude here again."
Celestia's protest died upon her lips as Luna faded away, bursting into a riotous rainbow of butterflies that swarmed her for a moment. Colors rushed her, and then past her into the rolling fields beyond, reforming for a moment into the shape of a tall alicorn regally beckoning for Celestia to follow. "Why you cheeky little- I'm going to get you, Luna!"
With a laugh, Celestia buzzed her pint-sized wings, chasing after the swarm as it playfully swirled away through trees and bushes. Watching from atop a hill, Luna stood watch from the shade of a spectral stand of trees. She would have her way, no matter how drastic of a course it took. Now then, where did she keep that memory of falling stars? She still had to share it with her Tia...
----------------------------
Warm. Comfy. Safe.
Celestia tried to roll over, feeling light on her face and wishing for it to go away and let her sleep in. Everything felt strange, it felt like her sheets had been carefully wrapped around her, tucking her legs and wings in tightly folded around her body. And a warmth pressing against her, softly contouring to her own body. She wanted the warmth closer...
Whimpers of effort escaped her tightly pressed lips as she tugged her forelegs free one at a time, working through the slight pain of having to stretch and stress them to escape her blankets engulfing grasp. Cold morning air prickled at her fur, a seeming trillion goosebumps breaking out as her hair stood on end from the sensations. Too cold, she had to have warmth. Her legs shot out, nabbing the soft source of warmth and pressing it against her body with all of her strength
"Oh woe, oh folly! To be squished to death by Tia wanting a hug in the morning!"
She wanted to swear that she knew that voice, that she knew the shape of her heat-source. But it was all so fuzzy, maybe she could remember after a few more minutes of sleep. Celestia's head did it's best to seek out the pocket between her body and the warm object, pressing it in until her horn's base slid up against a soft unyielding obstacle.
A gentle, but haughty laugh giggled in her ears from it; it's name dancing on the edge of her knowledge as it wriggled within her grasp. "Oh, Tia... What have you been doing to yourself in our absence? It's time to wake up. C'mon, before you squish us further."
Celestia squeezed harder, wanting the silly noises to stop so she could sleep. A gasping squeak rattled in her ears as the wriggling increased. What she wouldn't do to make it all stop, to go back to that dream with the field and the butterflies and falling stars... She'd lick her ears, ev- "AAAUUUUAAGGGH!"
The not-so-elegant diarch of the sun twisted and squirmed, rolling off the side of her bed at the wet intrusion into her ear, crashing to the floor in a heap as all of her bed's blankets fell atop her. The other occupant of the bed gently rolled off to follow; landing atop her gently in a press of dark fur warmly pinning her to the floor. Luna's laugh giggled in Celestia's ears as the elder alicorn sleepily and crossly glared up at her. Celestia felt like her eyes had almost crusted shut, her cheeks crinkling as her frown turned to a motherly smile.
"Luna, why were you in my bed?"
"Because thou needed the comfort."
"And why exactly am I wrapped up like a hay burrito up to my chin?"
"Because thou had been far more uncomfortably sprawled in the midst of thy nightmare, and we wished to keep thou warm and snug."
"And why exactly are you talking in old Equish again?"
"To be a tease."
"Ah." Celestia laid her head back as far as she could, feeling her horn catch on the soft carpet of her Ponyville hideaway, propping her up slightly. She could feel sleep reaching up into her mind, teasing her with dark tendrils of it's oblivion. If only her throat didn't hurt like she had been talking too much. If only her face didn't feel sore as if she had been bitterly crying and her aethereal mane didn't feel so limp.
Celestia raised her head up, a question at the edge of her tongue again. "Why are you in my bedroom, Luna? Shouldn't you be in the Night Court?"
"Nay, it is over for the night. We came at the calling of thy nightmare, and we have stayed with you since. It was refreshing to raise the sun ourselves. Tis not nearly the cantankerous thing that you make it out to be." Luna polished a hoof with pride, smirking ever so slightly at her success.
"Oh. Okay." Celestia set her head back and closed her eyes once more, eager to slip back into the embrace of- "Raise the sun? I'M LATE!"
Celestia shot to wakefulness, adrenaline coursing through her blood in response to the firing of her neurons and the realization that she had missed the rising sun. This was crazy, she had never been so out of it before! Sheets practically exploded off of her as she unwrapped herself, burying Luna in them as she threw them off. Her safe rose up out of her closet, it's multi-chambered lock opening at her touch to release her symbols of office and regalia.
Her crown effortlessly slipped onto her head, pinning back her ragged mane; her chestpiece intended to follow quickly after. Puzzlement followed, as it failed to follow. Regal blue magic clashed with her golden aura dancing across it's surface, Luna biting her lip in concentration as she kept the chest-piece from reaching it's owner.
"Luna! Let go, I'm already about to miss court! I've never been this late before!"
"No."
"What?"
"Tia, you are going to miss court entirely today. And the rest of the week. Your nightmare was strong enough to wake half the ponies in Canterlot in backlash from your own torment. No."
"Luna, you can hardly banish me from Canterlot this week." Celestia tugged once more, finding her younger counterpart holding steadfast against her grip.
"No, Tia. We look at you, into your eyes, and we see the same seed of self-disrespect and overwork that began our own nightmare. We cannot in good conscience allow this to proceed one step further. You have overworked yourself for a millenia, and tripled that workload for the past ten years, with no breaks or vacations. You carry the burdens of a millenia and a quarter of ruling, and have several times refused those who wished to clear your heart." Luna tugged back slightly harder, taking Celestia's chestpiece from her grip. Luna's eyes softened as she stepped closer, nuzzling along the side of Celestia's face. Her magic stroked through Celestia's wild aurora mane, smoothing it out with remembered practice from caring for her own filly.
Celestia's wings began to rise with impatience, her tail lashing in the solar wind from her irritation. Her voice deepened as she rebuked her younger with the memories of a thousand years fresh in her mind. "Luna, I knew the lonely road that I would take long before I had to walk it. Now please give me the chestpiece."
"No, Tia."
"Will you please call me Celestia, Luna? You don't have to call me-"
"We shalt respect you as is your due, Tia. As we should always. And no don't growl at us, we can see it tweaking the corners of your muzzle. This is an intervention. Which means no matter what, you are not coming to work today. You are going to do what you love best, caring for your foal." Luna stopped Celestia with a wingtip over the white alicorn's mouth, sushing her to continue speaking. Luna waited as Celestia's features hardened slightly more, waited for the realization to strike within Celestia's mind.
At last Celestia relaxed, slumping in place as she realized that Luna was right. She had been overworking herself. Those old nightmares had come back last night, before that strange dream had rescued her. Luna's wing slid with a ruffling movement from her lips, the lunar alicorn sweeping the crown from her head as she did. "You're right. I am letting things get to me. I even snapped at Twilight the other day. Twilight, of all ponies. I wrote right back to her, but she's not gotten back to me."
"Yes, Tia. That's why we called an intervention."
Celestia turned around in the somewhat tight and cozy confines of her bedroom, looking at the wall with all of Scootaloo's report cards and awards pinned to it, and the one with Twilight's far more numerous achievements plastered all across it just to it's side. "And Scootaloo's new group... That nightmare last night, it was about those foalish crusaders. The ones who's leader committed suicide rather than submit when we stopped them from conquering the old capitol."
"Yes. You were rather distraught when he... splattered you. You let his memories color your impression of the word. Scootaloo's group chose it for the sound, not the history." Luna stood as close to Celestia as she could, playing with the elder alicorn's crown and hovering it before her face.
Celestia bitterly sighed, turning her head from the proud recounting of how far her daughter had come. "When did I get so estranged from her? I didn't even know that she had a friend in town, Luna. I've let things get to the point where I don't even know how to please her anymore. I accidentally insulted her on her birthday, I didn't even realize it."
Luna slid her Tia's crown on, carefully seating it so that it hid her own as she ruefully shook her head. "Yes, Tia. We noticed. Hence why we are about to lock you in the disguise you chose to represent you as Scootaloo's dam."
Celestia nodded unthinkingly for a moment, about to go looking for her old set of regalia when Luna's words sank in. "Wait, WHAT?"
Blue lightning arced between them as Luna forced Celestia to change. The eldritch spell matrixes flickered into life as Luna used her dim connection to the Elements of Loyalty and Honesty to force Celestia into the form of Sunbeam. Regal white crisply transformed into ruddy orange at her energy; aurora flickers fading into the mortal pink of an unendowed pegasus with each charge. Celestia jerked and spasmed as Sunbeam was forced upon her, locking away her alicorn side.
Luna gasped as the power flow ceased, blinking away the purple afterimage around Celestia's form. The sight burned into her eyes washed out the plaster walls and dark oceanic blue carpeting as she waited, hoping Celestia wasn't about to do something to her for her impudence.
"Luna, when I change back, I swear I am going to ground you for forever."
Luna tried not to giggle at the adorable pout in her Tia's words. The voice coming from her mouth sounded far too gentle to be making threats of any kind, let alone threatening to do horrible things to the lunar alicorn as Luna knew that Celestia wanted to. "Oh, Tia. You look just like the new bearer of Kindness. Except bigger and colored like an orange. Besides, we both know that you will only ground us for a month, since we are doing both of our jobs."
Sunbeam stomped her hooves in the small hall past her closet and bathroom, snorting at the thought of Luna thinking she could get away with it. She'd still come to work, after all! "I'm coming, Luna. And that's final. This just means you get a secretary who knows all the right spots to stick pins in the cushions so you don't get comfortable."
"Nonsense! The brave and loyal Sunbeam is busy making certain that her mistress recooperates. Why merely coming to Canterlot would be a gross dereliction of her duties in making certain that Princess Celestia gets a week of rest and good food! We would have to immediately escort her home!" Luna coyly smiled at her little wittiness, knowing that she had Celestia over a barrel.
"You magnificent mare." Sunbeam tried not to snark it out, grumbling as she caught Luna smiling innocently.
"We know." Luna began shooing Sunbeam forward into the great hall of the house with her wings, pressing her ahead to keep her from protesting.
"And take my crown off, gold looks silly on you."
Luna picked the crown off of her head, holding up her leg to compare the gold to her deep and darkly colored fur. "Perhaps. We think we will wear it anyway. Reminds ponies that we are in charge while Celestia forgets her horrid dreams of religious crusades and Discord, and how she has been overworking herself caring for Twilight, the nation, and her secret burden."
Sunbeam frowned, as the empty rattling of her home called to her. Not a single peep from Scootaloo, despite the heated debate that she and Luna had been having. She should have come up to the door and at least snarked at them being an old married couple or Applejack and Rarity by now. Or burnt breakfast trying to impress her mom, or fallen off her balcony on a three foot bungie cord.
Luna noted her distress, seeing the sudden moment of motherly panic starting to worm it's way into Sunbeam. "She is at Sweet Apple Acres with her friends, 'Crusading' for her cutie mark."
"Thank you, got to make certain that she doesn't hurt herself!" Sunbeam about faced, jumping over the upstairs railing to glide down to her front door. Luna waited a moment to make certain that the elder mare was being sincere in her worry for Scootaloo, smiling ruefully as she felt Sunbeam flying off to the south over the Ponyville lake behind the house.
Now then, where did that coupon book for Canterlot go? She remembered seeing something about a 'Pony Joe Quadruple Expresso'.
-----------------------------------------------------
"She's late. She's never late!"
Shining Armor ruefully shook his head at the high-strung nerves of his fellow royal guard captain, Tenderhoof. The poor pegasus was worrying himself half to death pacing before the Solar Throne, his helmet and neck guards clacking as he nervously shot glances to the windows and doors. Shining contemplated letting him fret further so that the poor guard would be better prepared in the future for the occasions when Princess Celestia held her mysterious late mornings. Nopony had ever been able to find her when she decided to come in late.
"Tenderhoof, relax. This isn't the first time. About ten to thirteen years ago, she used to be late all the time. She'll show up any minute now. Or we could get Cadance. My Cadey-wadey has been itching to sit on a session of the day court for a few years now. And don't make those gag faces at me. That's just silly." Shining Armor scowled as Tenderhoof made a choking face at his pet name for his fiance. Granted, it was hard to take a couple who called each other 'Cadey-Wadey' and 'Shiney-Whiney' and other such sickeningly sweet names seriously. All the same, it was starting to get worryingly late.
"The princess is normally here by 0630 for the morning briefing! It's almost 8:30 now! I should have organized a search party over an hour ago!" Tenderhoof marched down to the front doors of the court, peering through the windows there overlooking the line of petitioners outside. "And we need to get Princess Luna! She's the Princess's sister! She must know how to find her."
"And wake that pony up right as she's going to bed? Ask Eaglehoof what happened, oh wait! He still can't hear quite right after he woke her up last week at seven in the morning. Relax, chill. Panic if she's not in by ten and we can't find Cadance to fill in for her." Shining Armor marched up behind Tenderhoof, putting a hoof on the newly minted captain's helmet in order to stop the rattling it was making.
"But I- what is that smell?" Tenderhoof sniffed at the air, testing the rich aroma that filled the grand hall. He passed a look to Shining Armor, sharing the more experienced guardpony's confusion. It almost smelled like a thousand pots of coffee all brewing together in a bunker for hours on end; a smell so strong that its mere presence was enough to wake somepony up.
"She drinks tea. Except in emergencies." Shining Armor followed his nose, closing his eyes so that his sight wouldn't distract him from the delicious aroma that tingled all the hairs in his nose. He couldn't tell how long he had been slowly trance-walking across the court. His face crinkled in an unconscious grin as he chased it down, bumping nose-first into one of the richly stained doors to the left of the throne. "In here."
Tenderhoof followed him over, sniffing loudly to take the full measure of the scent. "You're right. But this door only opens from the other side. You hear that?"
"Sounds like somepony humming. You listen closer." Shining Armor backed up, his instincts warning him that somepony was about to burst through the door. But just in case they weren't, Tenderhoof was young enough to take the blow and smile.
"It sounds like... somepony humming the Equestrian Girls?" Tenderhoof peeled his ear from the door, looking back to Shining. A grimace crossed his face as he realized the more experienced guardspony had moved to just on the other side of the Solar Throne, waving at him. "That cheeky little-"
Solid oak slammed against his face as the pony on the other side bounced the doors open. A tail colored with the blue of a night sky drowned out by the day rippled through the doorway, undulating in the unseen wind that swept the diarch's manes and tails. Luna's rear end followed, bouncing back and forth slightly provocatively as it's owner shuffle-danced to the beat of the song's chorus. Luna trotted backwards, her humming muffled by the mouth-guard in her teeth that protected her from the heat of the massive tank of coffee she slowly backed into the throne room.
"Augh, it stings." Tenderhoof gingerly poked his nose, wincing with each spike of pain as he tried to make it stop bleeding. Pinkish magic surrounded it quickly, staunching the flow as Shining Armor projected his bubble. "Thank you. Princess Luna, can I ask why you just showed up instead of Princess Celestia?"
Luna smiled as she lowered the dispenser to the floor and slid the dolley she had used to wheel it in out. "You may."
Shining Armor groaned as he realized that Luna had her sister's sense of humor and that it was in full swing. "Why exactly are you here with a ten gallon container of coffee, and do we need to worry about why Princess Celestia is late?"
"Nay, no need to worry. Our dear Tia is at a private place. She needs a great deal of bed rest, fruit juices, and comfort hugs at the moment. Unfortunately, this places us in charge of holding the Day Court." Luna dug into the small stand that her tank of coffee was supported on, pulling out a lunar steel mug she had produced for her benefit. Pausing a moment to bait Shining into opening his mouth again, she cut him off with a raised hoof. "Fortunately, we have discovered the nourishing lifeblood of Pony Joe's coffee!"
Shining Armor let out a long-suffering sigh of frustration, beginning to suspect that his day wouldn't be going as well as he liked. "So, why does Princess Celestia need lots of bed rest, fruit juice, and comfort hugs?" His handkerchief found its way to Tenderhoof's face, wiping the drying blood from the pegasus's reddened nose.
Luna's magic fluffed up the cushion for the throne in a haze of blue magic, another arc connecting her to her mug which was slowly filling with intensely aromatic drink. "Tell us, have you ever seen an alicorn sneeze? Don't answer that. A terrible thing, it is. Imagine the loudness of a mortal sneezing, but with all the strength of the Royal Canterlot Speaking Voice."
The lunar alicorn did her best not to smile at the paling of the two white ponies faces, putting on her most stern and stoic neutral pose for them. She could imagine the gears clicking through their heads, the images of all the irreplaceable stained glass windows shattering in one horrible moment.
Shining Armor spoke up first, maneuvering around to Luna's far side to look at Celestia's favorite windows. "So, when did the Princess start getting sick? I've never heard of her sniffling, let alone breaking into a sneezing fit."
Luna enigmatically smiled, a tendril of her magic reaching out to sooth Tenderhoof's nose with an anesthetic spell. "Sick? Yes, we suppose sick could be one term to describe Tia's condition. Alicorns can easily get sick, though we normally are quite good at controlling the outward signs." Luna deeply inhaled a whiff of her drink, letting it's aroma carry her off to idle fantasies of exotic coffee shops, and being worked over by idle guards on their hours off in a glorious massage in a darkened room. Maybe she let herself get carried a little too far...
Tenderhoof snuck up, stealing a whiff of Luna's coffee before she pushed him back with a forehoof against his chest. "Princess, perhaps I could schedule a visit from a doctor to see her. Provided that I can wrangle her location out of you. I would be negligent in my duties to allow her to come to harm, or illness without trying to stop it."
"Nay, it would only remind her that mortals have failed to reinvent any of the medicines that could effect alicorn biology. No, she will suffer relatively alone, we are afraid. Sadly, she probably caught her... sickness from us." Luna sighed as she climbed the staircase to the solar throne, mug held steadily before her as she ascended. That part was definitely true, it was her fault. Her... Her Tia's melancholy and depression had been stirred up by her own gentle prodding, and the budding connection between herself and Scootaloo.
Tenderhoof spoke up again, planning out how he could fulfill his duties in absence of his principle. Luna seemed unwilling to tell him where Princess Celestia was, after all. And he still had to figure out how to accommodate the Drakesland Ambassador, who undoubtedly would storm in to find out if Equestria was weak while Princess Celestia was sick. Happy joy. And the worse part was that Sunbeam wouldn't be there to take the load off of him. Well, actually...
"Shining, I think we might need Princess Cadance after all, Sunbeam is going to be out caring for Princess Celestia." Tenderhoof raised an eyebrow at the way that Shining Armor perked up from his slight funk at the mention of his fiancee.
"Really?"
Luna puzzledly scowled as she wondered why she would need Princess Cadance. "Really."
"Well, we need a temporary secretary of the court."
Shining Armor twisted around, silently pleading and begging to Luna with a look. It was an old technique he had developed from his Twilie, and if it worked on Princess Celestia, it had to work on Princess Luna, right? The lunar alicorn flinched ever so slightly at the pitiful look, relenting immediately under Shining's stare.
"Yes, yes. Go get her. When you get back, we need to discuss putting a force field around the city configured to repulse our Tia only. She can be such a terrible workaholic, even as tired and unwell as she is. Hmm." Luna bit her lip, wondering what else she was missing. She had her coffee, secretary, guards, Tia was on her own way to Sweet Apple Acres to play with Scootaloo until school, she was sitting in the throne, sun's up... sun- sun... OH! "Oh, and we need to add Sunbeam to the spell, she might try and sneak Tia in!"
Shining Armor saluted Princess Luna from the doors of the court, putting on his serious face. "Yes m'am, repulse the solar court for it's own sake, M'am!"
"And court! Don't forget to announce the court on your way out!" Luna's hoof outstretched towards him reflexively, as if to throw her message a little farther.
"Yes M'am, hailing the court, M'am!" Shining Armor cleared his throat at the front doors, listening to the rabble outside impatiently waiting for the court to come to order. Well, if Luna could handle today of all days, she wouldn't be too bad. His hoof rested against the hidden pressure plate, triggering it and the massive doors with a press, his magic replacing the barrier of the door as the massive oak and gold slabs swung outwards.
"Hear ye, Hear ye! The Solar Court opens! Presiding, Her Royal Majesty Princess Luna Morningstar. Come forth, and announce yourselves before Her throne!" Shining Armor waited a moment as the crowd tried to rush his shield, watching as the rush quickly turned into puzzled confusion. That's right, Luna, not Celestia.
Luna felt her ears wilt and her eyes widen in shock at the throng milling outside the doors to the royal court. Her outstretched hoof fell limply to the cushions of the throne as she rapidly lost count of the multitude that threatened to simply push Shining Armor's shield out of the doorway. So many ponies. Surely there had to be a momentous occasion for her Tia's court to get such a turnout whilst her own received an empty silence still.
Projecting a whisper to Tenderhoof, she hesitantly asked him the great question that dominated her mind. "Tell us this is not Tia's regular attendance."
"It's the start of Tax Dispute week. It only gets worse."
The floodgates burst forth as Shining released his shield, the herd storming the seating with a wild abandon. Scrolls of tax returns bobbed in the air, bespectacled accountants yammered with outrage at the delay and the unfamiliar princess upon the throne, militant protesters held signs declaring their right to be recognized as 'Sovereign Citizens', all of their mass hysteria washed over the unprepared Princess as the storm began.
Luna picked up her mug once more, draining it in a needful and unsteady gulp. The poor cup was tossed behind the throne, jangling the Princess's nerves with it's awareness-granting caffeine. "We doth require a great deal more coffee."
-------------------------------------------------------
"Excuse me!"
Macintosh stirred from his work trance, pausing in the middle of dragging a boulder to be broken up for the cobblestone fence.
"Excuse me!"
There, standing in the brush at the edge of the farm. He had never seen their next door neighbor in sunlight before. She was kind of cute, with the way she seemed to shine under Celestia's sun. "Howdy, Miss Beam."
The pegasus furtively glanced back and forth before she fluttered over their fence to talk, hovering near the farmer to keep from disturbing the fields. Smart gal. She jerked slightly, staring at the monstrous boulder that he had been dragging, alighting atop it to talk. "Good Morning, Mr. Macintosh. I'm afraid I got booted out of Canterlot today, so I'm looking for my daughter to spend time with her. You do know little Scootaloo, right?"
"Eeyup."
Sunbeam smiled a little wider, waiting for the laconic farm-stallion to explain where she could find her foal. Big Mac nodded, beginning to tug at his boulder once more with thoughts of how purdy his neighbor's voice was. Almost like Fluttershy, or Princess Celestia with the lilt in her voice. Sunbeam's smile faded as she waited, hoping he would respond without prompting. Aww, buck-it.
"Excuse me, but would you know where she might be?"
Mac moved the straw in his lips to the other side, tossing his head towards the less tamed southern orchards. "Old clubhouse. Moseying with Applebloom and the Belle filly. Something 'bout construction."
Sunbeam swallowed nervously at the thought of Scootaloo playing with saws and hammers, paling. Maybe she should be keeping a very close eye on them, just to be certain. She lifted off, intent on rushing to them. But then again, what about Macintosh?
A small grin quivered at the corners of her lips, naughty thoughts about how chiseled he was when you looked at him up close dancing in her head. And he'd been so polite and helpful, even if she was trespassing. Well, a small reward might be in order.
Big Mac jerked slightly at the brush of a kiss against his cheek, his neighbor making no sound at all as she hovered in place beside him and holding her kiss. A pinkish heat gathered in his face as he imperceptibly blushed, spluttering to himself at the forwardness of his neighbor's sweetness. With a reluctant last moment, she pulled back, gracefully beating at the air as she hovered over his shoulder. "Thank you, Big Macintosh. You've been a wonderful help, even if I've been such a horrible neighbor."
"Eeyup. Should come over some time." Play it cool. She was just his neighbor, no need to look like a colt with his first childhood crush, even if it was partially true.
To his surprise, she seemed to almost glow at the suggestion, a glint in her eyes twinkling at the notion. "I think I will. Wendsday good?"
"Eeyup."
"Okay then, I really need to go. I wouldn't want them to get hurt." With that last suggestion, she sped off, swooping over the apple trees in a gentle swirl of orange and pink. Big Mac sighed in thought of it, wondering if he could ever find somepony like her for himself. She seemed to just bring out the life in... everything...?
What had been a plain field when she had arrived had sprouted in a riotous aurora of flowers standing tall amongst the grasses, radiantly opened to the autumn day. Since when could pegasi do earth pony magic?
"Now don't that beat all."
------------------------------------------
"Hammer!"
"Hammer." Sweetie Belle passed Scootaloo the hammer, eagerly watching as her pegasus partner in crime tried her hoof at keeping the roof up.
Scootaloo strapped the hammer into the ankle-strap toolholster, giving it a few experimental swings to see how it did. A little loose, but not sliding out. Now to get it up to the roof on the wibbly-wobbly ladder Applebloom had set up for the job.
The whole clubhouse had been a wreck when they had shown up that morning. In the ten or so years that Applejack had gone without using it, rot and animals had set in, reducing much of the structure into a soggy, cardboard-strength mess that would likely fall in on them in the first good rain. That wasn't something they were looking forward to. So, the first and most obvious thing to do for their cutie marks? "CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS CONSTRUCTION CREW! YAY!"
With as loud as they had yelled it, the trio was certain that somepony had to have heard them, but nopony had come. Just as well, if anypony saw what they were trying to do, they would likely have all gotten grounded for a month. The whole structure creaked and groaned under the strain of even one filly, let alone two, a bucket of nails, and a ladder.
Applebloom had been the first to try and put some nails in the roof to fix it, only managing to put a hole through the soft wood from the sheer unintentional strength behind her swing. After the sheepish planning session immediately afterwards, she had headed outside to act as the work pony for the winch system and saws they had set up to bring raw material up to the old clubhouse. After all, you couldn't be a crusader without a fort!
With her gone, only Scootaloo felt confident enough to swing a hammer, something that she was regretting as she climbed up the ladder up to the roof. The floor felt like it was about to drop out from underneath her with every slight sway of the tree.
"Hey, Sweetie Belle, could you hold me steady while I smash this thing?"
"You got it Scootaloo!" Sweetie rushed to the base of the ladder, hugging it with all of her strength. "Go for it! Smush that nail!"
"Watch this!" Scootaloo swung back for her swing, ready to hammer a new nail into the joint.
"OH, hey there, Miss Sunbeam! Ya just here for Scoots?"
Steel met rotten wood at a speed that even Big Macintosh would have found impressive. Scootaloo tumbled over the top of her ladder as her swing smashed clean through the rotten ceiling joist, falling to the floor with a heavy and bone-rattling thud.White hooves rolled her over, Sweetie shaking her to try and see if she was responsive.
"Scoots! Speak to me!"
Scootaloo did her best to withstand the frantic shaking that Sweetie inflicted on her, feeling vaguely queasy from the effort. Reaching up to the trio of Sweeties hooves on her that slowly spun around and round, she tried a few times to swat the unicorn's nose, finally landing dead on with a meaty bop. The thud of her body hitting the damp decking rattled her brain once more, making her wish for a pain reliever. "Sweetie, please stop circling me..."
"I'm standing still. You musta hit your head on the way down. Stay still, I'll go get some cider for you. Don't move, your head might explode or something. Well, that's what Rarity says, anyway." Sweetie Belle tried to shine a magic light into Scoot's eyes, only getting a few squirms from the fallen pegasus. Magic was still a bust for her. With nothing else to see, she galloped for the doorway, running right into Sunbeam's face as she awkwardly climbed the ramp.
The orange and pink pegasus smiled, chuckling as she scraped Sweetie Belle off her face. Luna was right, she had nothing at all to worry about. "Sweetie Belle, ponies heads don't explode."
"Rarity coulda fooled me. She's always going on about how exasperated I make her, and how I was going to make her head blow off from all the stress I make for her."
Sunbeam rubbed her forehead with a hoof, wondering how in Equestria Rarity could have been such an over-actor. Then again, given the fact that it was Rarity that she was thinking of, it wasn't that much of a mystery. "Sweetie Belle, I'm afraid that your sister was leading you on a bit. In fact-" She caught sight of a familiar orange form sprawled behind the unicorn filly, sitting in the midst of the weakest part of the floor. "SCOOTALOO!"
"Mom?" Scootaloo sat up in spite of her raging headache, seeing her mom's massive figure protectively bounding towards her, about to plunge hoof-first into a soft spot. "Mom, wait, DON'T!"
Sunbeam yelped as her hooves plunged through the floor, reducing old wooden planks to kindling in an instant as she fell through until her barrel rested against the floor. The structure as a whole began to ominously creak as the tipping point in it's structural integrity was reached. Mother and daughter looked into each other's eyes in shock as they realized what was about to happen. Wood splintered as Sunbeam's mass pushed the dilapidated clubhouse to the point of failure, a spiderweb of cracks running out from where she laid.
Not even giving her daughter forewarning, she nipped at her mane and threw her head back, throwing Scootaloo out the door and into Sweetie with her actions. Sweetie and Scootaloo tumbled down the ramp in a heap, landing in a sprawling tangle of limbs at the bottom. Scootaloo pulled herself back together first, crawling out from under Sweetie Belle to look at the clubhouse as it began to come apart.
"Are ya'll alright? What the heck happened up there?" Applebloom walked under the clubhouse, looking at the pile of debris where Sunbeam had partially fallen through. A loud CRACK! snapped through the air as one of the main joists for the floor gave way, dropping the collapsing structure a foot. Visions of her body smushed beneath several hundred pounds of debris flashed through Applebloom's mind as she frozen in horror, looking up at the clubhouse.
Scootaloo tried to break free of Sweetie Belle, wriggling out as the cracks continued, and the whining of wood giving way struck home. It was too far to reach her in time, but she had to try. Her legs tensed and she jumped towards the yellow filly with as much strength as she could summon, feeling the structure already dropping down atop them.
And just like that, they were clear, rolling across the ground under the trees as the treehouse fell to the earth. Scootaloo rolled her friend off of herself, feeling the pain from hitting her so hard, and the oddest soreness in her head. Applebloom groaned on the ground, sprawled awkwardly on her back in contemplation on the issue of why everything hurt.
"Applebloom! Scootaloo! Are you alright? That was the scariest thing I've ever seen!"
Scootaloo shook her head out, feeling the slight dizziness fade away. "Yeah, I'm fine. I think I squashed Applebloom, though."
The filly in question groaned again, raising a hoof up only for it to fall back against her chest. "What is it that Dash is always saying? 'It isn't the fall that squishes ya, but the sudden stop at the end'?" She leaned up, absentmindedly reaching back and straightening her trademark bow back into place. "Well, Ah found the stop. It's name is Scootaloo, if yer' wondering."
"How did you do that, anyway? One second you were on me, and the next you were all 'whooosh!' and you and Applebloom were all 'whoooosh-CRASH!' and on the ground before i could even look up!" Sweetie mimed the effects of Scootaloo's rescue dive excitedly, not noticing how Scootaloo pensively began thinking.
"I... i don't kn- MOM! She's still in there!" Scootaloo started to dive for the pile of rubble from where the center floor and roof of the treehouse clubhouse had caved in, only stopped in her tracks as Applebloom stepped on her tail. She could see how the rubble and pile of wood twitched with the unseen victim at the heart of the matter. "Leggo!"
"Sweetie, go get Fluttershy! Get her to bring her first aid pouch!" Applebloom waved off her other crusader, who took off running in the direction of Fluttershy's hutch. "Scootaloo, calm down! We've got to be careful! If ya rush in and start trying to grab everything, yer' likely to scratch yerself up with nails, and yer mom, too!" Applebloom waited as Scootaloo tore small furrows in the dirt as she tried to pull herself free.
"But Mom-"
"Is alright fer' now. She's still moving in there." Applebloom pointed out the unsteady movement of the pile, as she finally released her pegasus friend. Looking it over, she made a quick mental catalogue of all the various pieces of junk pinning the massive mare to the ground. A couple of the big pieces still looked small enough for them to shift loose, piled up from where they had fallen from the roof. Odd, though. One looked like somepony had swung a hammer clean through it.
"Right, where do we push?"
Applebloom pointed to a large weathered piece of lumber that used to be part of the crest of the roof. "That right there. C'mon Scoots, you go left, I'll go right!"
Picking their way to the top, their hooves found the strongest points on the old piece of junk in a minute or two, and they braced for their push behind those spots. Applebloom nodded to Scootaloo across the pile of junk, and with a great heave, the massive old board slid off the heap and down onto the grass, trailing cutie mark crusaders. Sunbeam burst through the top of the pile with the weight taken from her back, collapsing back onto the pile still half-buried, and covered in little cuts and bruises from her misadventure.
"Mom!" Scootaloo pounced her, choking a cough out of the older mare as she hung from Sunbeam's neck lovingly. A slow, weary nuzzle stroked against Scootaloo's back from the bruised and battered pegasus, who hadn't gotten into such trouble in a long time. "What are you doing here?"
"Princess Luna kicked Princess Celestia and myself out of the castle for overworking ourselves. So, I came here." Sunbeam tiredly slumped down, wondering why it felt like Discord was dancing on her brain.
"Wait, you never told me that yer mom worked for Princess Celestia! Come to think of it, Ah've only seen her in town for Nightmare Night and stuff like that." Applebloom pushed some more of the debris off of Sunbeam's back, half-pondering and half questioning out loud as she did.
The first leaves of fall fell as the awkward silence descended upon the group. The shadows of the midmorning sun passing above the trees darkened as the weather team pushed a massive cloud-bank by, cooling the air with it's passing. Applebloom paused in her cleanup work, looking the pair in the eyes. "Why haven't ya told us about your mom working for Princess Celestia, anyway, Scoots?"
"The princess prefers it if as few ponies as possible know the identities of her staff. And I'm just so busy, and I barely have time for Scootaloo in the evening..." Sunbeam gestured with a free forehoof, idly flip-flopping it with her words.
"Oh. Ah guess that makes sense." Applebloom shrugged and went back to her work, kicking a larger piece off to slide down the side of the pile.
Mother and daughter breathed a quick sigh of relief, glad to have diverted attention from Sunbeam's true identity for the time being. As the wind picked up for a bit, though, that sigh of relief quickly turned into a yelp of surprise as Fluttershy dove down from above the orchard's canopy. Sweetie Belle shook her head, clearing out the dizzyness from the swoop as she dangled from Fluttershy's limbs. The buttery pegasus gasped in surprise as she caught sight of her stricken friend, diving down again to hover right before her orange doppleganger.
"Oh my goodness! What happened?" The pegasus let her unicorn passenger drop unsteadily to the ground as she looked over Sunbeam's form frantically, looking for signs of trauma.
Sweetie Belle took a step or two, before dropping to the wood in a dizzy heap, her friends rushing over to check her out.
"Well, I- uh, kind of dropped a tree house on myself like the Wicked Witch of the East..." Sunbeam mimed something big falling on her head with her hooves, illustrating her point for flighty Fluttershy. Shaking her head out once more, she laid back down all the way, feeling the pinpricks of nails against her fur as she did.
"Oh no! That's horrible! Oh, you poor thing." Fluttershy took off her saddlebags, placing them out of harm's way as she rushed the fallen pegasus and began inspecting her for bruises and internal breaks.
Sweetie Belle sat back up as her friends tended to her, rubbing a hoof against her forehead. "Oh, wow. Remind me to laugh at the next pony that says Fluttershhy is a bad flyer. Tell her somepony or an animal is hurt and..." Sweetie Belle moaned as Applebloom helped her to get back onto her haunches. "Well, I have a better appreciation for Rainbow Dash."
Scootaloo and Applebloom incredulously looked at their counterpart, not believing a word of it. Fluttershy was a horrible flier, everypony in town knew that!
"Seriously? She ran into me at the front gate of the farm, and got us back in 30 seconds!" Sweetie's voice cracked as she exclaimed her point, pointing to the trail of treetops with a Fluttershy-shaped gouge in their tops.
Fluttershy continued to inspect her patient, noticing how Sunbeam winced whenever she bent the joints in her forelegs. The poor dear probably sprained them when she fell down. It was such a lucky break, having been coming to the farm anyway to deliver a first aid kit! She'd have to splint Sunbeam's legs and have her lay down for a few hours to keep them from swelling. But who could carry her to the Apple farmhouse? Sunbeam was almost the size of Big Macin- Oooh. that could work.
"Fluttershy, thank you. And thank you for the knitting lessons, since I never did thank you for those." Sunbeam sighed in relief as she spoke, feeling a soothing burn from Fluttershy rubbing gentle circles into her legs to massage the muscles into relaxing.
Fluttershy's eyes opened wide, then narrowed in thought as she started to open her mouth. Then she snapped it shut as she realized what she had been about to say, and smiled widely to say something else. But that wouldn't work either, and the smile faded from her as she tapped her hoof against her chin. And then her smile returned, curling slowly upwards at the corners as the gentle pegasus's eyes devilishly narrowed.
"Girls! Oh, I'm afraid that Miss Sunbeam is in terrible shape! If she moves too much, she might develop jelly-leg syndrome!" Fluttershy spoke up, holding one of Sunbeam's limp forelegs up as proof of her 'diagnosis'. She shook it slightly to give the impression that the limb had lost all support, trying her hardest to look earnest.
"Jelly-leg syndrome? Really?"
Fluttershy nodded a little too quickly, making the girls slightly suspicious. Sunbeam raised her eyebrow as Fluttershy tore into the first aid kit, breaking out several rolls of medical pressure wraps. That wouldn't do at all! She might give it away. "Oh yes, Miss Sunbeam. It can afflict the mouth as well! Girls, would you please splint her legs?"
Sunbeam grumbled as the insufferably adorable pegasus quickly started wrapping up her muzzle before she could refute the claims. Of all things, FLUTTERSHY was pranking her! This had to be payback for waking her up in the middle of the night and being scary at the castle. How in the hay did she get pranked by Fluttershy? It didn't seem physically possible for her to have a mischievous bone in her body!
"Cutie Mark Crusader MEDICS! YAAAY!" The trio of fillies dove into the process, taking some of their wood they had intended to put into the treehouse, and a few rolls of the bandages each. Sunbeam started to thrash her limbs a little as they got to work, but a filly is a heavy thing to lift, especially when you were trying not to hurt her. With only a single hind-leg free from trouble, all she could do was scrape it against the ground trying to get up and get them off herself as she was wrapped up.
"Now now, please hush now, Miss Sunbeam. I wouldn't want you to get hurt any more. We'll have you patched up and ready for a long, long day of rest soon." Fluttershy happily continued to roll up the sides of Sunbeam's muzzle, listening to the muffled complaints that the disguised pegasus tried to mouth.
"I, uh, got her leg! But I kinda got myself, too, a little help?" Sweetie Belle wriggled where she had somehow managed to roll herself up in the bandages as well, having strapped herself around Sunbeam's foreleg by her belly.
Fluttershy's eyes widened as she took in the problem. 'Oh no."
Applebloom nodded, where she had tangled her mane around Sunbeam's other forehoof. "Yeah, Ah'd say Ah could use some."
"Oh my."
Sharp squelching noises squished from behind the mare, and Scootaloo fell over covered in something, and twitching violently. "Why is this tree bleeding so much tree sap?! It's all over me, get it off!" Her legs convulsed once more, entangling themselves further in a set of sticky bandages.
"Oh dear..."
-----------------------------------------
Luna twitched as the droning continued. Her mane had broken up into many whisps of nebula-looking frazzle, the usual solar wind billow reduced to a limp mess as she trudged through her third hour of the most boring and infuriating nonsense drivel she had ever heard. It was making her beloved paperwork... frightening. She had never wanted to just curl up and die under a pillow from her faultless, factual paperwork before. Where was Cadance? She was supposed to have arrived with Shining Armor three hours before.
"And so, as you can clearly see, we have properly filed for sovereign citizenship as per the government's covered up paper trails. We once again restate our wish to receive all of our back taxes effective immediately, as is due to us. We once-" The sniveling drone of the mare before her grated on every nerve that Luna had, and a few that she didn't have.
Well, she assumed it was a mare. She was rather horrifically of shape, coated in a brownish-beige color that burned the eyes, and dressed in what might as well be called window curtains. Luna shuddered as she wondered how the mare had managed to even get into the court, let alone appointed as the representative of the 'Sovereign Citizen' movement. Why couldn't they have picked the nice stallion in their back row with the adorable curled up black mustache and red coat?
Luna shook her head, holding a hoof up to try and stop the babble. "We cannot grant your request. Everypony in the land pays income tax. There are no exceptions other than an active royal guard deployment."
The group of protesters behind their representative stood up as one, all trying to shout her down at once. The signs they held were lifted higher as they tried to crowd against the ropes protecting the royal seating, looking like nothing more than a mob. Oddly, the stallion and a few around him were the only ones of the group who remained seated, almost coldly inspecting his fellow petitioners.
Tenderhoof nudged Luna with his shoulder to gain her attention over the roar of the crowd. "Do you want me to clear out the court, your majesty?"
"Nay. Some of them are watching. It would fuel speculation that we have not reformed. We shall have to resolve this diplomatically." Luna looked over the seething crowd, preparing to speak. Starting near the top of her voice range would get their attention. And the attention of everypony else in Canterlot.
But it was not her voice that spoke first. "Excuse me. EXCUSE ME!" A blue heart blazing with fire rushed up from a figure at the doors, exploding near the top of the room in a starburst of blue light that dusted the entire court with sparkles drifting down.
And Luna found that she couldn't remember why she had been so mad just a moment before. Her racing heartbeat of anxiety and irritation faded as the sparkles fell upon her, clearing her mind. She could handle things, it was so clear now that she had some room to breathe in. But why had they even- ah, a power play, perhaps? They were meant to test her Tia, but since she was out on vacation, they had been turned on her to see if she could be easily pressured.
"A-Ah..." Shining Armor panted at the doorway, clutching a hoof at his chest as he caught his breath. "Announcing her royal highness Princess Cadance!"
"I'm so dreadfully sorry that I'm late, Aunt Luna. If you had given me some warning, I would have been here sooner! Just ran into some trouble with some unfortunate ponies. The silly dears thought they were ninjas or something. Poor Shining just drove himself half to death trying to keep up." Cadance spoke softly as she flew over the crowd, landing somewhat clumsily before the throne and bowing in supplication.
Luna shook her head, clearing out the slight fuzziness that had tried to take up residence within it. "Nay, nay. Arise, Princess Cadance. Though we have been besieged these past few hours, we understand fully. Would you be willing to sit in as our secretary and assistant for the week?"
Cadance smiled broadly at the chance to sit in on a court session once more, and took up a seat just below the throne. "I'll take it, Aunt Luna. Tax week?"
"Yes. Ugh. Tax week." Luna poured herself a fresh mug of coffee, feeling the jittering just barely kept away that wanted to sweep her hooves out from under her. She couldn't stop drinking now, lest she fall into a pit of drowsiness and not wake until midnight.
Cadance nodded as she gathered all the instruments of Sunbeam's trade from the hidey holes they were hidden in the small desk below the throne. "Can I ask who exactly is on the docket, for reference's sake?"
Luna jerked awake again, shivering all across her body as she did. "What? Oh, a group of ponies claiming to have found hidden regulations that declare themselves exempt from taxes, and recognized as 'Sovereign citizens.' We have yet to find anything to prove their claims, and have been trying to dismiss them." Luna frowned, turning from Cadance below her out to the crowd, which remained relatively silent and still. Odd, they had been so animate not long before.
"Isn't that a contradiction in terms?" Cadance snapped the stenographer's typewriter into position, ready for whatever came next.
"Yes, it is. And would you please undo whatever you did to them? It is disturbing us greatly." Luna's hoof pointed out over the still crowd, who were at least stirring and staring at one another in confusion.
Cadance frowned, casting out tendrils of her magic to touch the petitioners minds. She burrowed in with her blue aura, feeling for signs of wakefulness, jerking back at what she found. It couldn't be... it wasn't right. "Princess? They were suffering a mental imbalance from something disrupting their brain functions. I must have cleaned it out of their systems with my calming spell."
Luna looked over the crowd, trying to see if anypony was missing. Several were, actually. Whoever had riled the ponies up with their talk must have slipped out when Cadance had arrived. "Excuse us. Excuse US!"
The faint small talk, and the patter of hooves on marble silenced at Luna's second bellow. All the ponies within the room turned to her in confusion and a need for information. Even the obnoxious spokespony for the group silently looked on, apparently confused as to how she received an appointment with the throne.
"Now then, where were we? Ah, yes, We do believe you were discussing your case?"
The spokespony turned to the crowd, who nodded vaguely at her. "Yes?"
"Very well. Now then, unfortunately your case is based upon shakey ground. Calling oneself 'sovereign' implies that somepony would be a ruler or a leader." Luna stepped down from her throne after slugging down her 18th mug of coffee. Stalking down the staircase of the royal platform, she came to stand before the protesters, looking them in the eyes.
"It signifies our right to make our own decisions." The spokespony halfheartedly responded to Luna, feeling fuzzy on what she was supposed to say. And the mare of the night was just plain scary, even in the middle of a sunbeam.
"But you also call yourselves citizens." Luna stalked a little closer, looking at them as they shivered before her.
"Yes."
Luna bent her head down to look the spokespony in the eyes, looking within them for signs of trauma or damage. After all, how could somepony be so dense? Tenderhoof and Cadance shifted uneasily behind her as she stared the protester down, testing her. "And a citizen is a member of a realm. Not a member apart, but one of a whole. Your money is not squandered, it is not wasted. It goes to good causes for the sake of the nation as a whole, to benefit those who need it most, and to protect us."
"From what!? Beyond Equestria is ash!"
"Nay. We can think of two nations that could match us. Have you heard of the Drakesland Republics?" Luna turned slowly to the pony who had stood up, fixating him with a terrible gaze that set him to quivering in his skin. Pale green fur turned white as bone as she strolled towards him, singling him out.
"Well... no."
"What of the Glasslands, former home of the alicorns before the cataclysm? They too, could wreak terrible havoc upon Equestria." Luna watched as he shook his head, not recognizing the names as she called them out. The lunar diarch turned away, letting him slump to the ground exhausted from the effort of gazing into an alicorn's glare. "Of course you do not recognize them. Both can compete against us, both seek to undermine Equestria."
Cadance stood up herself, standing beside Luna with her wings spread ever so slightly. The protesters slid back slightly at her approach, unnerved by two alicorns standing together against them. But it was words of pity, not anger, that she had to say. "There are many places beyond us. Some beautiful, some not so much. Your taxes are for the good of all of us."
Luna nodded, taking up where Cadance left off. "Consider them your dues for your participation in society. They pay for your hospitals, for helping farmers with your food. They build the railways that you now ride, and will go towards building the airships that you fly. They help the poor recover and remain productive, and help to inspire those who change our world." Luna kept her voice relatively low, letting them flow across the crowd instead of blasting at them.
"And not paying them, trying to keep that money from reaching those who need it, isn't that rather selfish of you? You show your love for others by giving, so that when the time comes you will receive the love of others." Cadance swept her wing down, snagging Shining Armor and dragging him to her side as he tried to sneak around the crowd to the throne. The exhausted knight stopped struggling as Cadance nuzzled him gently, leaning into her embrace and supporting himself with her.
"We cannot grant your right of 'Sovereign Citizenship', because it does not exist. And, because it goes against everything our Tia has tried to teach you since she came to rule. It goes against harmony, against all bonds of fellowship." Luna cupped one of the protestor's chin with her wing, raising his gaze to meet her own. He almost flinched at her touch, afraid of what she might do as his eyes met hers.
A shameful silence filled the air as they all stepped back; the sounds of several whispering conversations beginning as the ponies tried to understand what Luna had said. The lunar diarch glanced towards Cadance, wondering once more what spell she had cast to create such a sea change in the mood of the court.
"Money isn't everything. If it was, my aunt would never have fallen, and my other aunt wouldn't have paid her own taxes for both of them for a thousand years." Cadance let Shining Armor go, feeling him having recovered as she spoke.
"We dismiss this case. Go home, be with your families. They all miss you very much." Luna outstreched her wings as she gently commanded, pointing towards the front doors with their tips.
With nothing more to do, the protesters began to file out, murmuring amongst themselves and questioning what they had been thinking. The lunar diarch's words had inflicted the effect she had hoped for, convincing the group to depart without a single last peep. All the same, she kept herself in her pose despite how it hurt her wings, unwilling to show a single sign of weakness in her will.
Cadance looked over with a sidelong glance, curious as to how well her aunt was holding up. As the court's doors shut and Luna slumped in the exhaustion of her work, the cheeky pink alicorn giggled lightly and sidestepped over to give her larger counterpart something to rest against. "Oh, auntie. You're as bad as Aunt Celestia."
"Yes, well our Tia needs the rest more than we do. What spell was that that you cast?"
Cadance conjured up a miniature version of the spell, freezing it in place to let Luna inspect it. "Something that I picked up long ago, Auntie. It calms nerves by suppressing adrenaline, and undoes outside influences on someponies mind. Add an aura of rationality, and it can keep even the flightiest of ponies calm in the middle of a crisis."
Luna blinked, trying to remember what adrenaline was supposed to do in a- "Suppresses Adrenaline? Uh-ooooooooaaawwhhh..." The diarch of the moon toppled over to the other side like a great falling tree. Her legs flipped up into the air as she rolled onto her back, limply hanging over her body as she passed out at last.
Shining Armor unsteadily walked to get her a fresh mug of coffee as Tenderhoof and Princess Cadance watched over the fallen mare. The young captain poked her with a hoof, watching her body twitch from the contact. He hopefully shrugged to Cadance, unable to do much more for his temporary leader.
"I don't suppose you have a spell that puts adrenaline back in, do you? She seems to be more caffeine than mare now. Twisted and jittering."
Cadance shook her head, unwilling to try. "I wouldn't even want to know what she would do with enough of that in her bloodstream to wake her back up."
Shining Armor continued filling the royal mug, perking back up himself from the fumes escaping the still steaming liquid. Something troubled him a great deal concerning what his beloved had said earlier. "Cadey-Wadey... you said that your spell undoes outside influences, right? So who was playing with the protester's heads?"
-----------------------------------------------------
"Now what's this here?" Granny Smith looked over the orange, pink, and bandaged lump laying atop the apple family couch in irritated confusion. She knew it couldn't be one of Applebloom's things, so what was it? Had Winowna fallen into zap apple sauce again? "Well, there went mah plans for a nice afternoon nap."
The mysterious lump perked up at the comment, revealing itself to be the heavily bandaged form of their neighbor, Sunbeam. The poor dear seemed to be almost completely mummified in poorly wrapped bandages, like she had been hurt badly. The mare tried to say something, muffledly spitting out an unintelligable sentence or two before she realized she had forgotten about the tight wrap around her muzzle. Garrumphing in resignation, she drooped her head down over one of her splinted legs.
Granny chuckled in memory, recalling some of her own 'accidents' that had gotten her into similar pickles. The poor dear was probably itching all over. "Hurt yer jaw, dearie?"
Sunbeam shook her head atop her leg.
"Huh. Well, whatchya doing out here instead of that fancy-pantsy hospital in town? Got hurt on the farm, Miss Sunbeam?" Granny Smith frowned at the slow reluctant nod from her guest. That situation wouldn't do at all.
"Now that's a right up shame. Ah know ya just can't get time off to visit us, what with being the Princess's helper and all. Ah'd hate fer all of yer memories of the farm to involve getting hurt." Granny Smith looked for another seat as she spoke, spotting her chair nearby. Seeing her chair a few feet away warmed her spirits, and the elderly matron got behind it to slowly push it over to Sunbeam's side for a chat.
"Say, did mah grandson bring you in?" Granny looked around her chair, seeing Sunbeam slowly nodding for her.
"And he didn't think to tell me or bother to get to know ya better. Fer shame. Ah'll have to remind him later." Granny Smith finished getting her chair in place, satisfyiedly kicking it once to make certain it would stay put. The thing seemed a little bit taller each time she sat in it, probably an artifact of her old age slowly catching up as she sat down and twisted around so she could reach the wrap around Sunbeam's muzzle.
The younger-looking mare gasped in relief as her binding came free under Granny Smith's touch and released her muzzle. "Thank you."
"It's what Ah do." The old apple matron sat upright, letting her plushly cushioned chair take the weight of age off of her bones. "Ah hope it wasn't Big Macintosh bucking without checking again that put ya in yer world of hurt."
"What? Oh. Oh, no. I, uh... dropped through the treehouse in your south orchard. And then it dropped on me." Sunbeam's sheepish confession earned a bark of laughter from her elderly companion. It didn't seem so funny to herself, though. The look on Scootaloo's face had been more than enough to ensure that.
"Oh, that old thing. What on Celestia's good earth were ya doing out there at that old place?"
"Checking in on my daughter and her friends. I have the week off, and I had to find something to do." Sunbeam ruefully recalled what had happened that morning. Well, they had been okay, and at least they had been herded off to their afternoon class. Her ordeal had hurt, but it was better that she take that hurt rather than one of them. And, more importantly, her misgivings about their 'crusaders' fascination had been so far unfulfilled. They were just kids who didn't know the old meanings of a word.
"Oh, what's her name...- Scootaloo? Sweetest thing Ah've ever seen. Sweeter than that gal Pinkie's 'Sweets with a Sweet' treat, even." Granny Smith patted Sunbeam on the leg as she prattled on, keeping an eye out for spots that seemed to hurt. "Ya did right by her, at least. So, who patched you up?"
"Fluttershy. Though I don't know if I could call it 'patching up'. I'm not actually all that hurt, but Fluttershy has been upset for some time now after I woke her up in the middle of the night. And I scared her for two weeks by dragging her up to Canterlot to teach the Princess how to knit. I never thought that she would- well, prank somepony." Sunbeam lifted one of her legs, showing off the immobilizing splint around it a little bit as she spoke.
Granny Smith whooped with joy, startling the poor mare on the couch out of her body for a second. "YEEEEAaaaaa-HAAAW! About time that girl started asserting herself! And here Ah was worrying that Ah'd have to find some young'n from down to lock in a room with her to do the trick." The old matron sat back down, her back popping from how she had jumped up with a hoof in the air.
Sunbeam wondered how shy Fluttershy had been before her student had found her, if locking her in a room with somepony had been considered as an option. Right, best to be off, then. "Um, I don't suppose that you could finish loosening me up? That is, if you don't mind." Sunbeam flicked her ears hopefully, needing to scratch between them. She had been tied up for nearly two hours already.
"Land's sakes, no! The poor dear would go right back to the way she was a few years ago if she ever thought she did something wrong." Granny Smith reached over, fulfilling Sunbeam's need for her. As the sunny mare leaned her head into it, the matriarch put on the speed, rubbing the spot for a long, hard time. "Anyways, since yer plate is clear fer the week, it'll be good fer ya to take a break. And this way, ya can practice being a mummy fer Nightmare Night this year."
"But I really should be checking in on those reports." Sunbeam pleaded, putting on a sad face for effect.
Granny Smith began to mutter beneath her breath, ruefully shaking her head. She could see the reason why she never got to see her neighbor. "And here Ah thought Apple Kin were addicted to work."
"What was that?"
Granny Smith spoke up, making her opinion known as she pulled her hoof back."Ah said maybe yer kid needs more love than yer work. Even by our crazy standards yer working too hard."
"Nopony else can do my job."
"Sure they can, but yer first step is to actually look for 'em." Granny Smith thought back, trying to recall her own struggles between work and family back when she was a fiesty youngster the same age as Applejack. Boy had she been a mess back then, herself. Her son had turned into a right up ornery varmit before she stepped back from the farm for a while in order to take care of him. "Look, yer work is good, but yer only gonna get one time with yer kid."
Sunbeam darkened, remembering a black dawn a thousand years before. "I know what you mean."
"Ah take it you have some other kids besides yer sugarcube?"
"Two, a son and a daughter."
"Well, Ah hope you weren't as wrapped up in yer work for them."
Sunbeam shook her head, knowing she certainly had never been mother of the year material. "I was. Worse, even. It- wasn't all my fault, though. It was a bad, bad time." Sure, what with their flight to Equestria, Discord, the Demons, the fueding madmares and stallions in the supposedly safe land, Starswirl's wife getting....
She had tried so hard to just make things right for her, never quite making it. And then she had-... she had-
"One of them turned out rotten?"
"My- first-" She wanted to hide from the apple matron, to find someplace that wouldn't remind her of how she had bucked up so badly in the early days. She just needed to hold it together, just a little longer.
"It's okay, there. Things get better, Ah promise. Did ya ever get 'em back?"
Sunbeam nodded slowly, sniffing a little as she suppressed her sorrows. "I moved the heavens, earth, and Tartarus to get her back." And she had broken more than a few laws to do so. She'd broken more than a few laws in her own grief over what had happened, because she wasn't as strong as she needed to be. She had hurt more than a few ponies, including her own student, in the last mad dash to... well, it was over now.
"Sweetie? Ah've got a little bit of advise for you, from one mother to another. If yer not wanting to go through whatever it was that got you so broken up, then love her while you can. We spend too darn short of a time on this good earth to let other things distract us from our kin. There ain't a life worth living where you abandon them." Granny Smith smiled sadly, watching as Sunbeam shifted and squirmed in the midst of an internal debate. She knew it couldn't be easy for the mare, but it was better to hurt all at once, instead of holding it for later.
"I suppose I should, shouldn't I?"
"And that's great! And since yer waiting for that dear to show up, care for some Apple family stories?" Granny Smith knew there had been a reason that she had stuffed the photo album into her sitting chair's side pocket last night.
--------------------------------------------------------------
"Take good care of him, okay?"
"Yes, Da." Inkie patted her brother on the head, checking to make sure he was still there.
"And make certain that he drinks plenty of water to keep from drying out on the trip!"
"Yes, Ma." Berry elbowed Inkie in the ribs as she nodded to her mother.
"And don't forget to buy plenty of candy to keep my energy up!"
"NO, Berry!"
"Clyde, they got those ridiculous nicknames from you and your eldest."
"Well, you're the one fond of using overly long names." Clyde Pie shifted his unlit pipe to the other corner of his mouth as he prepared for a long fuss between him and his wife.
"Oh, don't listen to him, Bartholemew."
The young seapony shook his head as his parents mock-glared at each other. It never failed, every time he turned around. And every time the night got hard to sleep through, what with the strange rhythmic bumping noises from his parents room as they kept having fun up there. He really wasn't sure he wanted to know what they did on those nights.
Berry decided to nip it in the bud, so they wouldn't have fun at his expense. "Ma, Da, don't you think that this is a bad time to start that again?"
Bonnie grumbled, before looking down at her son and smiling with a bit of teasing mirth. " You're right Bartholemew. It's time to say goodbye, for now." Bonnie pecked her son on the bridge of his muzzle with a quick kiss, before sweeping him up into a nuzzling melancholy hug.
Clyde squeezed in under Bonnie's grip, sweeping his son out into a tight and crushing hug of his own. Picking him up and standing on his hind legs, he twirled his son around like he would with his daughter, Pinkie. After a few seconds, a few laughs from his sisters, and a good pout from his mother, Berry nuzzled his father goodbye as they came to a halt. "Thank you, Da."
"Don't forget it." Clyde winked at Berry, pretending to look cross with his wife. "And don't forget your heart. No matter where your home is, it will always lead you there." Clyde set his son down, tussling the massive mane atop his baby boy's head. Poor Berry always took too much from his older sister's example.
"I won't, Da."
Bonnie gasped as she realized she forgot something. "And don't let your sister Pinkamina get fat if you can help it!" Bonnie stuck a healthy cooking cookbook into Berry's already overstuffed saddlebags, smooching him once more as she scooted back.
"Land's sakes and Celestia's blessings, mare! Can't you leave her be? I know you're the boring-"
"Practical!"
Clyde took his hat off his head and covered his face and eyes with it to hide his muttering and eyerolls of frustration. "I know you're the practical one, but some things just aren't worth doing that way. Like Bartholemew, or Pinkie. They just need a little more love."
"Pinkamina." Bonnie insistently corrected him.
"Pinkie. You know she only responds to her full name when you get angry with her." Clyde put his hat back on as he retorted, straightening it out.
"Oh, drat. We have been foiled again in our dastardly plot to make the farm boring once more, Mother." Blinkie tried to keep a straight face as she winked at Berry and elbowed her mother in the ribs playfully.
Clyde took a nervous step back as his wife and middle daughter laughed together, hugging his son around the neck as he did. "Can I go with you, Bartholemew? They're starting to scare me."
Berry tapped his chin with a forehoof, pretending to ponder. "Well, if I took you, nopony would be left to prevent them from turning it into the Boring Clan Rock Farm. I can send Pinkie back as backup, Da."
Clyde hastily unwrapped his leg from around Berry. "No-no! Inkarelda and I can hold the Forces of Boredom at bay."
Bonnie wiped the sheen of sweat from her brow, knowing how disruptive her eldest daughter could be. That had been a lucky bullet dodge. Shaking her head, she smiled and slid up flank to flank with her husband, putting up her best face. "I promise not to bore your father too much, Bartholemew.
The shrill train whistle startled them all, forewarning the approaching departure of Berry's ride. Clyde rubbed his wife down, relaxing her ruffled fur before he patted his son one last time and stepped back. "You're going to be late, son. Take care."
"I will, Da." Berry barely reacted as Inkie scooped him up and onto her shoulders, used to his sister's antics. Inkie pretended to snort and buck as he dug his forehooves down around her collarbone for a grip, letting his mechanical rear legs hang limp around her barrel. "Now then, how did it go? Hi-ho Inkie, Awaaay!"
"N-n-neigh!" Inkie galloped for the train, jumping aboard just behind the conductor. Passengers shouted as she ducked and weaved through, angry that her massive saddlebags had sideswiped them. She didn't care, most of them were rich snooties who had been in for the rock farming expo in town.
The pair hurdled over a trio of foals at last, sliding to a halt within the sleeper car towards the front of the train. Inkie bowed down, letting Berry slide from her back like a little blue seal. The landbound seapony slipped under the blankets, coiling his tail up to hide it from any gawkers and scooted over to the window for a rest. Inkie nodded happily, sliding in with him and placing a hoof over his back protectively. Nopony was going to do anything to her brother without coming through a Pie Sister first.
"Bartholemew! Bartholemew!" Well, there was the small window they could slip through.
Berry unwrapped himself and rolled over, opening his window to see what his mother wanted. A clinking, rattling bag of rock seeds bounced in to land atop Inkie as his mother bounced and struggled to see through their window. Berry leaned out the window, nearly getting hit in the chin by the top of his mother's head.
He drew back, timing it just right for his mother's next bounce so he could kiss her on the nose, saying his mind as he did. "Yes, Ma! I'll make sure that Pinkie keeps the traditions going."
Inkie giggled, knowing that her parents would likely be remembering things they had forgotten to pack for their prodigal daughter right up until the end of the train pulled past the edge of the station platform. They meant well, but Pinkie did always leave them flustered, even before she discovered her strange and sorcerous-seeming cutie mark. One day they'd be able to get it all collected the first time around. Of course, the pack of wriggling toothbrushes that had dropped against her belly might be why she was giggling, too.
"Inkarealda! Remember to remind Pinkie to brush more often so she'll be less afraid to smile while she's singing!" Clyde pushed back off of the train, catching his hat after the windowsill knocked it off his head. Just in time, too, as the train began to depart the station.
"Da! Don't you think that's a little embarrassing to courier?" Berry leaned his head out the window, looking back on his parents and other sister as they began trotting to keep up.
Bonnie felt her old age catching up to her as she shouted ahead to her beloved baby boy. "Don't let her drink alcohol!"
"Or coffee! No coffee!" Clyde kept up a little better than his wife as she fell behind him. The Pie children collectively shook their heads at their parents, wondering how they ever managed to keep up with any of them.
Clyde skidded to a halt at the end of the platform, nearly getting knocked off it by his wife and youngest daughter bouncing off of him as well. The three of them shouted out one last piece of advice at the departing train, hoping that Berry would hear it. "And make sure she straightens her mane!"
----------------------------------------------------------
"Well, I'm glad that's over." Scootaloo buzzed along at what felt like a snail's pace beside Applebloom as the pair headed for Sweet Apple Acres under the darkening dusk skies. At least Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had been too busy gawking to be taunting at school. But, that was due to another, and more irritating problem. "I don't know how I'm going to get Luna in to do a show and tell, though."
"Princess Luna." Applebloom felt dirty from having heard the returned princess of the night referred to so casually.
"Luna. We're... good friends, actually."
Applebloom shook her head, trying to focus on how awkward it had been when Scootaloo had managed to ask Cheerilee a history question their teacher couldn't answer. She had an answer for everything! Granted, it was regarding Pre-Nightmare history, but still! How did Scootaloo learn enough to ask questions like a miniature version of Twilight? A thought struck her, as Applebloom remembered something from that morning. "Say, isn't yer mom the personal assistant to the princesses?"
Gravel was sprayed from around Scootaloo's scooter as she screeched to a dumbfounded halt. "WHY AM I MADE OF STUPID?!" Of course her mom would take her up. Scootaloo hung her head, wishing her mom and Luna hadn't told her so many tales about the old days.
"Aw, now don't be so hard on yerself, Scoots. Yer mom doesn't get to spend enough time with ya, that's all." Applebloom patted Scootaloo on the back to relax the poor pegasus. Why, they were almost home, too! Applebloom's heart soared at the sight of the orchard's apple trees upon the hills ahead as she pushed Scootaloo a little bit. "Sides, doesn't she have the week off?"
"Who, my Mom?" She really wasn't liking where this was going...
"Well, yeah! But what about Princess Celestia, too? She'd love to come teach us for a day, Ah bet!" Applebloom picked up her pace, wishing there was a faster way to travel than by hoof. If she hurried, she might be able to catch Princess Celestia talking to Miss Sunbeam and ask her herself! Nopony could resist an apple family pout outside the family!
Scootaloo resisted the urge to facehoof once more. She didn't want to get connected with her Mom publically. Well, not yet.What had she been thinking, boasting about knowing Luna like that? But darn it, now she had gone and gotten herself committed. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon would leave her alone for now, but who knew how they would act if she didn't produce a Princess? "You know what, you're right! I hope my Mom's better, though."
"Ah'm sure she is! Granny Smith can get anypony feeling better in a day or two!" Applebloom looked at the back of Scootaloo's scooter again, wondering about the empty room on the back of her board. "Say, can yer scooter fit both of us? Ah'm getting kind of tired of walking."
Scootaloo glanced around nervously, wondering if her mom was watching. "Okay, but don't let my mom see. She gets all worried about me hurting somepony on this thing. If she found out, she'd probably explode me twice before kicking me to the sun or something." The pegasus filly held out her hoof, pulling Applebloom up onto the scooter with it.
"Yer mom's been taking too many lessons from Princess Celestia."
"Oh, you don't even want to know about it."
----------------------------------------------------------
"Aww, now why not, Macintosh?" Granny Smith irritatedly scowled at her grandson, ready to buck him into the room herself.
"Not mah place." Big Macintosh shook his head, catching a glimpse of the dining room in the process. Sunbeam, Fluttershy, and his sister all animatedly talked around the family table, gossiping about something. Brrr. He would never make it out of that room unhitched if he went in, Eenope!
"It's not yer place to just ask her or that dear Fluttershy on a date?"
"Eenope!" Big Macintosh twitched at the loudness of his protest, glancing nervously towards the dining room and praying to Celestia that they hadn't heard him. His only chance to escape was to make an all-out break for the front door, preferably by breaking through it and not stopping until he hit Ponyville.
An option that was seemingly greatly helped as the farm house's front door all but exploded open under the force that Applebloom and Scootaloo subjected it to. The panting fillies tumbled over each other, spilling out into a tangled mess by the dining room door.
"Oh Miss Sunbeam! Yer daughter wants to ask you for a favor!" "I do not!" "Yes, ya want to ask yer Mom to ask Princess Celestia to come in fer a show and tell on Friday!"
Big Macintosh saw his chance as the fillies began wrestling in that doorway. He started to make a break for the door, seeing the growing darkness of night outside. Hay, if he hurried, Granny Smith would be the only one to know that he had even been there. With surprising grace, he tiptoed on the edges of his hooves towards the door, careful to avoid the squeaky floorboards as he danced atop his awkwardly posed hooves with seemingly impossible speed.
Granny Smith beat him to the buck, standing resolutely in the breech like a knight from the olden days. "Ya ain't passing, sonney! Now g'wan! Git in there like a stallion! March-March-March-March!" Granny Smith pointed towards the dining room, where the trio of mares fawned over the fillies with motherly care.
"But Ah-"
As if to further stomp out a lightning storm over his parade, the Aetheral crackle of a unicorn teleporting in interrupted him once more, startling him into silence as Moonbeam snapped into existence beside him. The bedraggled mare looked like she had seen seven of the rings of Tartarus over the course of her day, and she immediately all but collapsed against Big Macintosh for support. She was cute, pert, and wonderfully colored. But Big Macintosh couldn't help but squirm a little at the two tiny little fangs within the mare's mouth as she yawned and gave him and impressive and heart-stopping look at her teeth.
"Errrr....."
Moonbeam shook her head, rubbing at her eyes with a forehoof to try and clean the sleep from them in a futile gesture. Blearily blinking at Big Macintosh, she realized he wasn't leaning against Sunbeam, and finally answered. "Sorry. I just teleported in from work up in Canterlot. I was homing in on Sunbeam, is she here?"
"Orange, with pink mane?"
Moonbeam nodded gently, afraid to move too much.
"She's here. Just making sure." Well, there wasn't any escaping it now. He was a doomed stallion, doomed to be forever hitched, he bet. Carefully staggering with Moonbeam against his side, he trotted into the den of wolves, breath snorting frantically with each step. He tried to quietly set her down, hoping to escape without being detected as he scanned the room to see where everypony was.
Scootaloo sat in her mother's embrace between her forelegs, nuzzling their upper halves. Applebloom was putting her hooves on the table beside Applejack like she had been told a thousand times not to do. Applejack, Sunbeam, and Fluttershy sat somewhat equidistantly around the table, still listening to the two fillies animatedly telling their tale. And- oh. Goshdarnitall, Sunbeam was looking right at him.
"Sure, Scootaloo. I know the Princess will be available on Friday, she's got nothing else to do. Why, I might stop by as well and finally get that parent-teacher conference out of the way like I've been needing to." Sunbeam nuzzled her filly between the ears, licking the rambunctious pegasus once between the ears to flatten out her mane. Sighing, she picked up a foamy cup of tea and sipped it with an extravagant show. She almost seemed to purr as she drank it down, pulling it back so she could slowly lick the foam off of her upper lip as her eyes wandered dreamily while lost in thought.
Halp.
Scootaloo broke the gaze by nuzzling up into the soft and fluffy warmth of her mother's chest, burying her head partially into the fluff of fur there. "Mom, you're daydreaming again. Whatever it is, it won't work. And you don't really need to volunteer just because I said you would."
Fluttershy chirruped happily, shifting in her seat as she beamed at them both. "Oh, but she really should, it would be such a nice thing for Scootaloo, showing her that you care! And just think of what all Princess Celestia could teach the foals!" Fluttershy's expression twitched for some reason, the mare shrinking back from her proud and daring pose. "That is, if she wants to. She really should."
"Yer darn tooting that it'd be great if she did! Why heck, it might even make some kids pay attention in school." Applejack boisterously slammed her hoof against the table as she stood up, rattling the whole kitchen. With her other forehoof, she was busily ruffling Applebloom's mane as she had been since she mentioned 'some kids'.
Sunbeam snapped out of her trace, looking wildly at her companions as she did. "What, what?"
"You volunteered yourself and Princess Celestia to go to a school show and tell in order to give the foals a talk about early and Pre-Nightmare Equestrian history." Moonbeam spoke up wearily from where she leaned on Macintosh's side. With a bit of effort, she pushed off of Macintosh's bulk, stumbling in the general direction of the table.
Fluttershy gasped a little at the condition of the newcomer, and rushed over to help her sit down between herself and Sunbeam. The gentle pegasus passed her a cup of whatever she had been drinking to the twitching unicorn as she slipped her pad underneath Moonbeam to make her as comfortable as possible. Fluttershy seemed to nearly squeak with happiness as Moonbeam wearily sighed and leaned against her orange companions beside herself.
Big Macintosh took a step back, hoping to sneak out. Instead of a quiet creak of an old and worn floorboard, the raucous honk of a squeeze horn drowned out his hooffall, drawing attention to him from everypony. He loved her to death, but darn Granny Smith to heck.
"There ya are, Big Mac! Been looking all over fer ya! Miss Sunbeam here's been telling me how ya brought her in. From what Ah hear, yer getting sweet on her." Applejack got up, rushing over to him and dragged him hoofs dug in and headshaking to sit wedged tightly between her and Sunbeam at the table.
"Well, um- I don't know if I would call it 'sweet'. That might be a bit strong."
"But Ah- and she... and how-" Big Macintosh shook his head, trying not to think about his companion. "How is she sitting upright?" Macintosh helplessly spluttered in confusion from his prediciment. Turning his head at last to take a closer look at the ragged pegasus beside him, he blushed simultaneously with Sunbeam as she turned her head to inspect him. Their noses touched with a cold feeling of wetness, rubbing against each other.
Big Macintosh realized with a start as to just how big his companion was. Why, she was almost as big as he was. No, no... she was bigger. He tried to scoot towards his sister to give himself a little space, only for the stubborn mare to push him back and push him more insistently into Sunbeam's smooth, warm side.
"Oh! Oh, that would all be my fault. I'm so sorry. I mistook her sprained ankles for a full-body Jellyleg syndrome! I'm such a ditz, I really should know better." Fluttershy apologetically burst out, all the while slinking further and further down as she blushed as hard as an oven glowed. A well-timed gentle hoof to her flanks got her to sit back up straight, cringing under Sunbeam's motherly smile.
The orange and pink mare shook her head to Big Macintosh, looking rather remarkably like her smaller yellow doppelganger. "Oh, Fluttershy, you don't have to apologize. It's okay. Celestia knows, I've certainly needed the rest. And the light entertainment from Granny Smith that I was treated to all day." Sunbeam giggled at the soft 'heh' from the Apple matron in response to her praise.
The two pegasi reached across the table to each other, drawing into a mutual patting of reassurance and forgiveness once more. At his angle, Big Macintosh missed the knowing wink that Sunbeam passed to Fluttershy, or the apologetic blush that the timid mare reciprocated before they disentangled themselves and sat down in a warm silence.
Macintosh sat them, soaking in the blessed, comptemplative silence for a moment, maybe a minute. Closing his eyes, his thoughts turned to calming things, like the twisted math that went into the farm's tax status. Or the way his skin was crawling, as he realized everypony was looking at him.
"So, are ya okay, Miss Sunbeam?"
"Oh, yes. I hope I wasn't a both-"
"Eenope!"
Sunbeam blinked at the speed of the response. Closing her eyes, she hummed a few bars of some song long lost to the abyss of time, ignoring the gagging and retching motions and mock-sounds being made from the being between her legs. "You know, I wouldn't mind talking with you later."
"Eeeerrrr..."
Two hooves jabbed him in his flanks and belly as an old voice whispered into his ear. "Say Eeyup, you idjet."
"Ee-yup...?"
"Oh, oh good. I hope you have a wonderful talk. Don't mind the unicorn about to take a nap in her-" Sniff-Sniff- "- Well, whatever this stuff is. I'm sure it will come to me when I turn undead." Moonbeam unsteadily and sleepily integrated herself into the conversation. The darkly coated mare yawned as her need for sleep nipped at her tail, ready to drop her into blissful unconsciousness.
Everypony at the table winced a little, remembering their latest guest.
"Well, goshdarn golly, what in Equestria happened to ya? Ya look like how Ah felt trying to handle Applebucking season by mahself." Applejack caught Moonbeam as she spoke, keeping her from falling flat on her face into the table and her drink. Fluttershy and Sunbeam joined in, helping to ease the mare back upright.
As a precaution, Fluttershy reluctantly moved over, pinning Moonbeam against Sunbeam's bulk protectively. The timid pegasus brushed away the limp mane that hung around the bedraggled mare's face, throwing it over her shoulder as she stroked at the unicorn comfortingly.
"Ooh, I just sat in on a combined Day and Night Court session with Princess Luna. No biggie, totally cool." Moonbeam tried to dismissively wave a forehoof, only to throw it against her forehead as she jerked back from the trance she was falling into.
Sunbeam facehoofed, the memory of her week's plan coming to mind. "Tax week?"
"Tax week. And a bunch of crazy ponies trying to claim 'sovereign citizenship'. Why does my beloved paperwork hurt?"
Sunbeam winced, remembering how much those foals had irritated her in past years. Her orange hoof slid over another mug for Moonbeam to drink down, knowing she would need it. "I wish I had remembered so I could have warned you. Redcoat tries stirring those poor ponies up every year, convincing them that there is some truth to that old rumor. I've tried to help Princess Celestia pin something on him, but he keeps within the law. He might be just testing her and keeping her wits up."
Moonbeam gave her spectrally opposite companion a withering look of disbelief.
"What? We never found proof, and he is usually out to try and strengthen the country, not weaken it." Sunbeam turned away, trying to hide from the glare from Moonbeam.
"At least it only took us three hours to-"
"HEY! Ah know you!" Applebloom popped up between Moonbeam and Sunbeam, looking up intently at the blue unicorn.
"You, uh- do?" Moonbeam blinked, trying to remember where her sense of dread was coming from.
"Yer that pony pony Ah was trying to sell apples to in order to get mah cutie mark last week!" Applebloom happily hugged Moonbeam around the leg, wilting back at her grumpy, tired glare. "Err, sorry 'bout that."
"Don't worry about it. If she gets mean, I'll hug it out of her. She's my big sister, too." Scootaloo waved a hoof dismissively on the matter, remembering a tidbit of something she had heard before. She picked up an old song she had heard Twilight sing many times before, modifying it in her head for the situation at hoof.
"Really?"
Scootaloo nodded, taking a deep breath for the start. "My Big Sister Best Friend For-"
Scootaloo scowled as Moonbeam cut her off with a hoof injected directly into her mouth. The older mare began twitching and jerking as Scootaloo began licking her hoof in an attempt to gross her out enough. But it sure as hay woke her up, though.
Applejack leaned around Big Macintosh, looking at the family and seeing the faint hints of resemblance. Speaking up, she spoke what was probably on nearly everypony's mind. "So, if yer her sister, how come we've never seen ya before?"
"Kidnapped by Nightmare Moon in the Neighties. I messed with the wrong magic at the wrong time, and she tried to use me to break the seal early. Got sealed up with her up there. Uncool. Wickedly uncool." Moonbeam shuddered at the horrible sensations molesting her hoof. It was all she could do to recite her excuse from memory as her leg trembled with the need to yank out of Scootaloo's mouth so she could try and clean the crazy filly cooties off.
Seeing everypony's expressions of curiousity, she continued, knowing the unspoken question they wanted to ask. "Why work for Princess Luna? She offered the job free as compensation. Nice view, royal ears, becoming a friend with Princess Cadance..."
"EEEeeeeIIIII!!!"
Everypony covered their ears as Fluttershy exclaimed her happiness to the world at getting a chance to be introduced to one of her idols. Big Macintosh finished blinking the tears from his eyes and rubbed the last of the ringing from his ears just in time to see the normally timid pegasus clinging to Moonbeam like rainbows on a Zap Apple. Moonbeam gave him a look of desperation as Fluttershy began to drag her away from the table, eager for any stories the unicorn had to offer.
"Tell me everything!"