The sheer irony of life has never been fully understood. One day a little baby dragon may be walking down the street, minding his own business. He may even be scanning the lovely little town he’s grown so accustomed to, smiling nonchalantly to the simplistic, aesthetic feel it ceaselessly exuded. And then, in the blink of an eye, it would occur instantaneously. Life would suddenly toss a bag full of its dry wit towards the baby dragon. In his confusion, he’d examine the bag cautiously before realizing it wasn’t so much a gift…but an opportunity. A mysterious chance to experience a life-altering event in its wake. Whether he’d receive it openly or not would be the baby dragon’s own personal decision. He may choose to empty out the contents of the bag and play life’s cryptic game, or he may just drop the bag, turn his head away and continue strolling on into the path of predictability he’d been enjoying seconds before.
Though we all know how these kinds of situations often turn out, don’t we?
No matter how much the baby dragon would convince himself to grasp the truth of ignorance, he’d never be able to keep his eyes away from life’s coaxing opportunity. He’d step away uncertainly and contemplate all the reasons not to play life’s game, yet in the end he’d be swayed by the overwhelming mysticism. There’d be no question about it: he’d give in and finally see what was tossed at him in the first place. What exactly was life trying to say? What was its underlying scheme this time?
All this may happen, and there shouldn’t be any surprise that it would. This is just a mere example of life’s common behavior. It’s all life’s way of reminding everypony how futile it is to attempt controlling it. Because as the minutes pass by, twists and turns are already drawn out for the future.
And there wouldn’t be a moment when we’d have a say in the matter.
Spike’s Scootaloo
“You lost, Spike! You gotta do whatever we say now!” Snips chuckled derisively, pointing a hoof at his draconian companion. “There’s no backing out of this one, too!”
“Dah, yeah! You have to do what we say! It’s the rules!” Snails agreed, nodding.
“What rules? There were barely any rules to begin with!” Spike argued and shook his head, irritated.
“The rules you set up, remember?” Snips grinned mischievously, tapping his temple for emphasis. “You said if you couldn’t sprout wings in ten days, you'd have to do whatever we say!”
“But if you did, we'd have to do what you say.” Snails added, reminding Spike of their established terms.
“Come on, guys! It wasn’t even fair for me at all!” Spike marked childishly, taking any means to fight his demise. “You both knew I couldn’t suddenly sprout wings! This bet shouldn’t count!”
“Nuh, uh! You kept insisting you could do it. You kept telling us we’d freak when we saw your new wings.” Snips wagged a hoof excitedly. “No matter what, you’re not getting out of this. You lost and that’s that. Right, Snails?”
“Yup.” Snails beamed at their achievement. “A bet’s a bet, and we won!”
Snips and Snails tapped each other’s hooves in unison, celebrating their victory over the baby dragon. They did it! For the first time the two actually won a bet between themselves and Spike. And they didn’t even have to do anything! This was an amazing accomplishment for the two young unicorns. Because this particular moment defined a new era in their lives. No longer were they to fail in completing future tasks. Spike, their friend and superior foe, would not be able to look down upon them in contempt after this day. For the two colts were now winners! Formidable adversaries to those who opposed them! What a delicious thought to salivate to!
“I’m not being given a choice, am I?” Spike sighed, kicking the ground dejectedly.
“Not a chance.” Snips smirked arrogantly.
“Nope.” Snails confirmed in triumph.
How could Spike have been so stupid? Making a bet with Snips and Snails was often a means of entertainment for the baby dragon. In almost all cases, he’d wager a contest to the colts that he knew he’d probably be the champion in. Who could climb trees faster, who can recite more famous historical lines, who could cook better-tasting meals, etc. Obviously Spike always took home the gold medal. He couldn’t even allow them to take on these contests solo, because only as a pair did they ever have a chance at actually winning. Either way Snips and Snails couldn’t see the pointlessness of their efforts, yet Spike commended their persistence.
However, the tides had turned in the favor of the other team. Spike had somehow lost a bet with the two goofballs, and he couldn’t believe he’d fallen for their trap. Ten days prior, Snips and Snails had intermittently made comments about the baby dragon’s lack of wings. They had asked to the point of causing Spike embarrassment and frustration. Eventually the pressure had struck at him for far too long, and in a swift retort he’d bet he could produce wings in the course of ten days. Right after they’d immediately accepted and had laid out the terms of victory, Spike had become dumbstruck by his own impulsiveness. He’d recognized his mistake. There was no way a dragon could force the aging process, let alone spontaneously bud body parts!
Although he’d known this fact, Spike had still tried to do it. And admittedly it was a sight to see. He’d sat privately in his little basket, clenching his fists and groaning in exasperation. Somehow! Somehow it could happen, right? There must have been a miracle just waiting to fall upon the baby dragon, right? Wrong. After several days he’d grown discouraged at the impossibility of bringing forth wings using will alone. His fantasy just couldn’t be realized. This was real life, after all. So when the time to surrender to Snips and Snails had arrived, Spike had sulked the entire way to their meeting spot in the grassy fields. Even now he wasn’t able to stop sulking. He lost, and it was a pathetic loss at that.
“Okay, fine. Let’s just get this over with. What do you want me to do?” Spike grumbled, looking away from the cheering colts. “You knew you were gonna win, so you already thought of the punishment, right?”
Snips and Snails instantly went motionless. Staring ahead blankly, the two colts appeared to have been given startling, unexpected news. Spike noticed their familiar, slack expressions, and he deciphered them just as quickly as he face-palmed. They couldn’t be this slow, could they?
“You guys didn’t think of a punishment, did you? Even after ten days.” Spike exhaled, rolling his eyes.
Turning their heads to each other, the two colts shrugged.
“Uh, did you think of something?” Snips asked the taller unicorn.
“Dah, I thought you’d think of something.” Snails drawled back.
“Seriously?” Spike mumbled inaudibly, shaking his head.
“Why did you expect me to think of something?” Snips asked confusedly. “Why do I always have to do the thinking, anyway? Can’t you do the thinking once in a while, Snails?”
“What are you talking about? I think for us all the time.” Snails disputed, annoyed. “It’s your turn to start thinking of things.”
“No, you think of something! I’m tired of thinking!” Snips snapped back.
“You’re tired? Well, then, I’m…dah…” Snails racked his noggin for the next line of thought. “I’m…really tired of thinking! Hah!”
“Really tired, huh? Then I’m exhausted!”
“So? I’m really exhausted!”
“You’re just putting ‘really’ in front of everything I say!”
“See? I’m thinking of things right now! So it’s your turn!”
“I don’t know what to think of! I’m not even prepared for this!”
“Dah, neither am I!”
“Stop it! Please spare me!” Spike shouted, interrupting the colts’ back-and-forth. “Isn’t listening to you two yapping punishment enough?”
Snips and Snails went silent, pondering on the baby dragon’s words. Their jaws hung loosely as they considered whether Spike had actually suffered enough as it was. But that was until Snips fully comprehended Spike’s insult, and he patted Snails’ hoof to alert him to break out of his daze.
“We’ll think of something. So just sit tight and be patient.” Snips said, looking back to Snails. “It’s going to be something embarrassing, too!”
“Yeah, something really embarrassing!” Snails emphasized.
“Great.” Spike responded sarcastically, his eyes half-lidded.
The colts began whispering suggestions to each other, all the while Spike reluctantly watched with crossed arms. What kind of crazy banter were Snips and Snails indulging in now? Spike observed as the two continued gritting their teeth, most likely out of the pain they felt for having to use their brains. It was extremely difficult to not walk away right there and forget the whole thing, but the baby dragon’s inner sense of honor kept him at bay. He understood, though, that his so-called ‘honor’ was gradually being dirtied and tarnished the longer he stood in place. How could it have come to this?
“Hey, look! It’s Spike!” A young female voice was heard at a distance. “And he’s with Snips and Snails, too!”
The three male youths simultaneously whipped their heads in the direction of the voice. A few meters away from their location were the infamous filly trio of Ponyville – The Cutie Mark Crusaders. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo trotted hurriedly towards the alarmed baby dragon and colts. They happily skipped at having run into unanticipated acquaintances. Who knew that today they all would meet up on the same side of the fields? To the three fillies, this day was already turning out to be interesting.
However, ‘interesting’ was one word Spike would have labeled the meet-up. Another word would have been ‘ill-timed’. His face took on a pale hue when he spotted Snips and Snails snickering deviously at the sight of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. That definitely wasn’t a good sign, Spike grimaced. They were planning to involve three innocents into this stupid bet, weren’t they? He could only guess what the two manipulative ponies were thinking. Or perhaps ‘not-thinking’. But whether they were thinking or not no longer mattered to him, because he could sense deep down trouble was near.
“Howdy there, Spike!” Apple Bloom greeted with a smile. “Snips and Snails, how you all doin’ today?”
“Yeah, what are you guys doing out here?” Scootaloo asked excitedly.
“We’re out here trying to get our cutie marks in flower picking!” Sweetie Belle explained, not waiting for the question to pop up. “Today something great’s going to happen! Right, Scootaloo?”
“That’s right! Guys, this morning when I woke up, I could feel a tingling in my body. I just knew then that today was going to be a great day! I could feel it deep inside!” Scootaloo fluttered her tiny wings giddily, hovering a few feet.
Snips and Snails leered at each other after Scootaloo’s statement finished. They now knew exactly how today was going to be a ‘great day’ for the orange foal. Oh, and that included Spike as well. Who could forget about the object of their coming torment? Not the baby dragon gawking anxiously at them. The colts rubbed their hooves conspiratorially as they quietly discussed their conniving plot. Consequently they payed no mind to the three befuddled fillies standing beside them.
“Um, Spike? What’s up with Snips and Snails?” Scootaloo thought aloud, raising an eyebrow at the baby dragon.
“Everything okay?” Applebloom said observantly.
Spike rubbed his face tiredly. “Don’t mind them. They’re just being...themselves.”
“O…kay.” Sweetie Belle nodded, not understanding Spike’s comment.
“Yeah, we’re not really doing anything out here.” Spike said nervously. “We were actually just about to leave.”
“We just got here, though.” Snips said suddenly, jolting the baby dragon. “Why would we leave so soon?”
“Dah, yeah. We’re here to settle something. Remember, Spike?” Snails winked, chuckling.
“Settle something?” Sweetie Belle repeated in wonder.
“We can settle it later, guys.” Spike replied, his eyes widening. “So we should just go and do that, okay?”
“No, we can settle it now. Might as well get it over with.” Snips grabbed Spike’s arm and dragged him away from his spot.
“We’ll be right back.” Snails addressed the Cutie Mark Crusaders, following closely behind Snips and Spike.
The three ignorant fillies remained still as they watched Spike, Snips and Snails argue in hushed voices. The colts seemed to be supporting one another while attacking the lone baby dragon. As time went on it didn’t seem Spike was winning the battle. The hopelessness plastered on his mug was apparent to the pairs of watchful eyes. It then became uncomfortable staring at the entire scene, so the three fillies decided to distract themselves by chatting.
“Nope, nope. Not doing it.” Spike held up a hand. “That’s just going too far.”
“You gotta do it. It’s always been like that for us.” Snips whispered, frowning. “You can’t just tell us what to do when we lose, but when you lose we can’t tell you what to do. That’s so hippopotamus!”
“Yeah, that’s hippopotamus!” Snails scowled.
“It’s hypocritical…” Spike cringed. “And I’m not because I never made you guys do what you want me to do!”
“You have to do it. Otherwise you’re not a real ‘bro’.” Snips stated. “You’ll have broken the ‘bro code’ by breaking your promise.”
“It’s the ‘bro code’, Spike. You don’t mess with that.” Snails said sternly.
Spike was speechless. He couldn’t slip his way out of this one. Snips and Snails had pulled out the ‘bro code’ card on him. There wasn’t anything he could do to salvage his chances at escaping. He was finished. This was it. He either stayed a ‘bro’ or became a ‘ho’. How cruel of a reality was it to lose a bet with the merciless Snips and Snails? It seemed Spike was about to find out.
He stamped his foot, pointing a finger at the two. “If she rejects me, then it’s over, okay? I don’t have to do anything more.”
“Your punishment is asking her. That’s as funny as it can get.” Snips chortled. “Don’t flatter yourself. She’d never say ‘yes’, anyway.”
“I can’t wait to see the look on her face.” Snails snorted, holding back a laugh.
“Whatever.” Spike said, leaving the two colts snickering.
The baby dragon strode speedily to the three conversing fillies, a foreboding aura of unease enveloping his soul the closer he got. He needed to do this soon, or he’d back out. And he couldn’t afford fleeing now. Not while his ‘bro code’ was on the line. There was no other choice but to buck up and progress forward with all his might. It would all be over in a matter of seconds, Spike assured himself. Just one question and it’d be put to rest.
After what seemed like forever, Spike reached the trio. Their attention was already directed towards the baby dragon.
“Hey, girls. Can I, uh…” Spike shifted about awkwardly as he stared at a certain orange foal. “Can I speak to Scootaloo alone?”
“Me? Why? What’s going on?” Scootaloo asked.
“Why do you need to speak to her only?” Applebloom butted in next.
“Is there something the matter, Spike?” Sweetie Belle probed concernedly.
Spike gulped. Why were they making this harder than it had to be?
“N-nothing’s wrong or anything. Promise.” Spike forced a gawky smile. “It’s just that I have something private to ask her. That’s all.”
Scootaloo gazed at the baby dragon’s eyes, and what she saw stunned her. His eyes were wild, and they were practically pleading with the little filly to comply. Recognizing the abrupt seriousness of the situation, she opted to give her draconian friend the benefit of the doubt. Whatever he had to ask her must have been important, she thought. It’d perhaps be better if she listened to what he had to say, whatever it was. For now that was the best course of action.
Scootaloo started to speak up. “Okay, sure. We can–“
“Whatever ya have to say to Scootaloo can be said to us.” Applebloom cut off her friend, holding her tightly. “We’re a team, and we can handle anything you send our way.”
“No, it’s okay–“ Scootaloo started again.
“Like Applebloom said, you can tell all of us. Don’t worry, Spike. We can fix whatever’s wrong together.” Sweetie Belle jibed in, hugging the orange foal affectionately.
“B-But I just need to speak to her privately.” Spike was sweating now.
Why did the Cutie Mark Crusaders have to be so damn close? Couldn’t they split up for a few seconds? That’s all was required for Spike to relay his message. Was there no exception for the baby dragon? For little ol’ Spike? Please?
“It’s okay, girls. I think I can handle it on my own.” Scootaloo struggled under the weight of her fellow Crusaders. “You don’t have to worry about –“
“No, we do it together. We’ll always be there for you, Scootaloo. You know that.” Applebloom gripped onto the filly tighter, consoling her.
“But I think Spike really wants to –“ Scootaloo groaned softly.
“It’s decided. He’s telling all of us.” Sweetie Belle shushed, bringing her attention back to the shriveled-up baby dragon. “Go ahead, Spike. We’re ready.”
“Uh…Umm…That’s…I mean…” Spike sputtered out a nonsensical mumble, clearly panicked.
In the back of his mind, he could see Snips and Snails sniggering uncontrollably at his failure. Everything was turning out perfectly for the two colts, much more perfectly than they had predicted. The Cutie Mark Crusaders – the full cast – were the baby dragon’s audience, and they had front row seats to the humiliating debacle that was about to take place. Spike could feel his brain imploding in on itself as he watched the three fillies inch their heads forward, tuning their ears for the inevitable climax. And this all resulted from such a ridiculously loaded bet. Was the ‘bro code’ truly worth it?
“Scootaloo…Uh…” Spike coughed into his clenched claw.
He could feel his throat closing up. His lungs expanded to their sheer limit, taking in as much air as physically possible. His oxygen levels seemed to be declining to a dangerous low. He couldn’t say it. He just couldn’t!
“Um, you know…I, uh….” Spike blinked feverishly, wiping the profuse sweat off his brow. “It’s funny, uh, because…I’m here because…Umm…”
The baby dragon’s heart pumped erratically. That wasn’t normal. That couldn’t have been a regular heart beat, could it? So what did that mean? Was he dying? Was he really going to die like this? A loser who couldn’t complete a simple phrase? No, that was just stupid. Nopony was going to die. The stress was merely flooding his brain. Knowing this, however, didn’t appease Spike in the slightest.
“What is it? What do ya need to tell us, Spike?” Applebloom’s pupils dilated in curiosity.
“Please tell us, Spike. We’re all ears.” Sweetie Belle’s mouth gaped.
“Go ahead, Spike. I’m listening.” Scootaloo muttered sympathetically.
That wasn’t helping, girls. It certainly wasn’t calming the baby dragon. In fact it was the exact opposite. His body’s functions seemed to have stopped. His body was failing him. Spike was literally about to faint right then and there.
“Priceless!” Snips choked on his own laughter. “We should have won a bet ages ago!”
“He’s gonna say it! He’s gonna say it!” Snails nudged the smaller unicorn breathlessly.
Spike had to say it. Stalling would only bring on heavier pressure. The strength of the tension in the air was destroying him! It wouldn’t be surprising if he suffered from post-traumatic stress after it was all over. If words couldn’t be pulled out, then he’d have to settle with pushing them. The time to fulfill his duty was now!
“SCOOTALOO!” Spike yelled, frightening the three fillies. “WILL! YOU! GO! AGHHH!”
Great, now Spike had terrified them. All three Crusaders had dropped to the ground, trembling right at his feet. They had no idea what was happening. Why was he yelling? Why?
“Scootaloo…” Spike’s chest heaved.
He had to try again. He wasn’t giving up now that he’d gotten this far. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out.
“Scootaloo…will you…go…” Spike’s face twitched as each word was uttered. “Scootaloo…will you go on a…”
“S-Spike?” Scootaloo stuttered, quivering.
Spike became conscious to a peculiar truth at that moment. It was quite humorous in hindsight. Because this was the first time he had ever done something like this.
“Will you go on a date with me?”