• Member Since 8th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Bok


My stories have a 1/1000 chance of teleporting you back in time to the Siege of Leningrad.

E
Source

After an accident, Rarity and Twilight are thrown in a race against time to stop their transformation into changelings before they become part of Chrysalis' swarm forever.

Chapters (10)
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 717 )

Okay. Dat pic... I haven't even started to read yet and it is already looking fine fine DYNAMITE!!!

Will post actual comment after reading.

Cliffhanger ending.......we meet again.... Awesome story so far I really didn't see anything wrong. You've got me hooked.:pinkiehappy:

Calling it now, featured by the time I wake up.

All right, I'm intrigued

This is going to be really good. :pinkiehappy:

This actually pretty good. Please continue. So it's like The Fly.

Bok

1723208

I didn't name that guard Gold Plum for no reason.

Faving for the pic alone. Will read when able and comment again.

bravo i shall fave

This is a new take on a classic concept fave and like

Successfully read!! And awesome!

caught a error I think though...

"I dunno, Rarity. I'll ask the Princess next time I see her. I hope she's not made us for burning down half the library."

'she's not made us' should be 'she's not mad at us' or at least I think so. Correct me if I'm wrong.

As for the story, I like were this is going. A nice way to include Saddle Arabia from todays episode and I eargely await the next installment of Fusion, and may it take us on a long and pleasent journy across the netherplains of Tek'Rako-dar!

there is a 99% chance that Rarity's mane is suffering from bed head and that's why she screamed, and a 1% chance Rarity is now a changeling like the pic. I'm going with the former:raritywink:

also, would not be apposed to rarityxtwilight shipping....:rainbowkiss: just saying...:pinkiehappy:

Bok

1723446

Much appreciated for catching the typo!

Contests on being one of the top stories on the front page right now.

Bok

1723549

Not enough. I want the featurebox.

I needs it.

1723556

Dammit... meant to say congratulations. You and me both. We are the two top stories, right now.

Heres what im guessing will happen: Twilight and Rarity are being corrupted, meaning they change every one in a while..so im guessing that Rarity will wake up with Changeling colored eyes then teeth and keep going until she's completely a changeling......i hope im making sense.:derpyderp2:

Aw yeah, cliff hangers! Damn you.

This story seems like it could be a great one. I'll keep an eye on this one and see where it goes. :pinkiehappy:

*remembers the CLASSIC "The Fly" complete with fiberglass head!*

*Teeny changeling slowly becoming pony: Hellllp meeeee!*

"I've seen the race tracks and art galleries, but if I really want to show I'm a/the deluxe designer of Equestria, I really want to show that I'm a Canterlotian at heart."

There's more, but my phone decided to stop copying text after I copied that line.

Hello, this is FeatherFoot of Story Reviewers United. I'd like to share my review of your story, as of Chapter 1.

Word Count:
Decent 2800-3000 length. Word Count rating is Decent. Good job!

Grammar/Spelling issues:

...but your I'm not so sure about your friend there.

Try making this

...but I'm not so sure about your friend there.

On Topic:
On Topic rating. Perfect!

Summary:
This was an extremely interesting read. I have not actually read anything that had changelingification before (dat word XD). I especially liked how you lead up to the big discovery, where it progressed rather than it being instantaneous. It built up suspense in the story, and I liked it.

Overall rating:
Once that error is fixed in the grammar/spelling section, This story will be a 9/10 so far. Keep up the good work and I see great things from this story and the work you put into it!

-FeatherFoot, Story Reviewers United

This is relevant to my interests, well written and beyond awesome! Hell, you get extra credit for the fly reference in it. Why the hay can't I upvote this twice?:pinkiecrazy:

Where did you find that cover art? It's magnificent!

Also...I wonder if Spile would still be hopelessly in love with Rarity if she was a Changeling...?

I just happened to be browsing the main page and caught a glimpse of my changeling art on this story so I decided
to check it out. Not disappointed in the least, i'm so tracking this. :heart:

For writing a good chapture you will receive
1x like
1x fav
1x watch

Congrats on the picture... It scares the :pinkiegasp: Out of me. Looking forward to more bro!

I'm a sucker for changelings, Twilight, and interesting concepts.

WE DO TRACK THEE!!!

1723556
You really like its javascript?

Very good read, will follow :pinkiehappy:

I love stories where the mane 6 are changelings in some form or anouther. Liked and faved. Don't let me down.

Bok

1723169

YOU DONE GOOFED.

I am somewhat surprised at the lack of a dark tag.

Bok

1725281

We might have a brush with Kafka, but I'm going to try to keep this as family-friendly as possible.

Pleasantly surprised to see this fic has been updated already. It's always nice when fics update daily, or every second day, because that way it's easier to remember what happened in the previous chapters. I'm excited to see what'll happen next.

I caught a couple errors; thought I should let you know.

She looked down to see that another hold had appeared on her leg, this one going through the side of it.

I believe you meant 'hole' here.

"Oh, and Twiliight?" she said, "Thanks."

Extra 'i' in Twilight.

"And then she screamed" DUH DUH DUUUUUUUUHHH!!!!!!!!!!!! :pinkiegasp:

Twilight was silent for a moment, and seemed to startle slightly with revelation. "Changelings feed off love, Rarity. That must have been what we saw: a physical manifestation of it. When you touched it, you must have absorbed it somehow."

Spike grunted, "Great. Now everybody knows..."

Twilight looked up, "Spike?"

EVERYPONY NOT EVERYBODY! But anyway epic chapter im lovin it....Damit I just made a reference. :twilightblush:

Trixie noticed stacks of books piled over one another.

:trixieshiftleft:
I think you mean Rarity

Bok

1725570

She's so Great and Powerful that she worms her way into other fanfictions!

Grammar was a little awkward at times but I don't care because the story was totally swell. Bravo goon sir :moustache:

Well since you asked for it HERE YOU GO BUDCHAP:

"Isn't it great? Twilight squealed, "They have all the greatest writers from all across Equestria. Some of these books are hundreds of years old! Did you know that? I bet you knew that. Everyone knows that. There's literal tons of information on every shelf!"

Should be:

"Isn't it great?" Twilight squealed,. "They have all the greatest writers from all across Equestria. Some of these books are hundreds of years old! Did you know that? I bet you knew that. Everyone knows that. There's literally tons of information on every shelf!"

-------

The gruff guard rolled his eyes and sighed, "Fine. But don't make me regret it. And if you even think about takin' something out of there, they'll be Tartarus to pay," he said and turned to Rarity, "Got it, lady?"

Should be:

The gruff guard rolled his eyes and sighed, "Fine. But don't make me regret it. And if you even think about takin' something out of there, they'll be Tartarus to pay," he said and turned to Rarity,. "Got it, lady?"

--------

She looked up to see a massive oil lamp suspended in the middle of the room, operated by a small knob that Twilight had just finished turning.

Should be:

She looked up to see a massive oil lamp suspended in the middle of the room, operated by a small knob that Twilight had just finished turningturned.

--------

Rarity partly ignored her as she toured the room on her own, trying to find something that wasn't absolutely gruesome.

Should be:

Rarity partlypartially ignored her as she toured the room on her own, trying to find something that wasn't absolutely gruesome.

--------

The sun's yellow rays hitting rarity right on her eyelids jostled her from her impromptu sleeping place, and she slowly stirred.

Should be:

The sun's yellow rays hitting rarity right on herRarity's eyelids jostled her from her impromptu sleeping place, and she slowly stirred.

That's what I got so far, I suppose.

1723556

Congrats on the feature box. Hope I am right behind you.

Now this can be entertaining. Going to read it in a jiffy. Meanwhile have a fav and a + :)

Oh darn, why am I such a sucker when it comes to GOOD changeling fics? Keep up the good work!

That artwork is great. I think they look better as changelings...

Bok

Oh, and comments and suggestions appreciated. I'm always looking to improve my writing.

read first few lines...

Rarity screamed so hard that no noise came out of her throat, and all she could produce was a dry rasping sound as her legs quaked and her body shivered at the repugnant monster that was in front of her, staring right at her in the smooth sheen of the bathroom mirror.

Eventually she quieted down and ever so cautiously walked up to the repulsive reflection of herself. She checked and checked again, going over every horrible detail with a shudder.

"My hair is an absolute mess!" she said to herself. Her tossing and turning had left her mane terribly mangled and tangled. "It's going to take me hours to brush this out in the morning."

CALLED IT!!!!!! YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!