Twilight Sparkle has been on Earth, and human, for nearly two weeks. It wasn’t planned, but the human girl that she stays with is at least very helpful. As her stay lengthens and the difficulty of returning to Equestria seems more and more strenuous, she tries to take it easy and research the humans and their customs. Even though she is no longer a unicorn at the moment, her pastimes and favorite hobbies remain the same. Studying always eases her mind, so a look into human mating rituals should be very interesting and therapeutic, right?

This ‘one-shot’ story is an offshoot of Merlos The Mad’s story, ‘A Twilight Landing’. It takes place eleven days into the story, just after chapter thirteen. If you read this story by itself, the jokes will still make sense. This may also be considered canon.

Cover art graciously provided by go4moo!

Additional chapters a definite possibility.

"Dear Princess Celestia... I hate you oh so much. Words cannot even begin to describe my contempt for your very being, but a letter will have to do."

Twilight writes an extra special letter to the princess after binge drinking for hours on end. The letter isn't about a lesson of the true meaning of friendship as the princess had come to expect. Nope, more along the lines of drunkard ranting and a copious amount of angst. Let's read it now, shall we?

Warning: Adult language.

Thanks to TheFIMguru and Mr101 for editing!

In the final days of her life, an exceptionally faithful student muses on the subject of her perfect and immortal mentor Applejack.

Now with Spanish translation by Spaniard Kiwi!

At Celestia's behest, Twilight Sparkle arrives in Ponyville to prepare for the Summer Sun Celebration, and potentially the return of Nightmare Moon.

Her preparations will be anything but easy. The stallions in charge of the festivities all seem to have taken a "romantic" interest in her, and every one of them is terrible at flirting. Really terrible. Really.

T for innuendo/creepy behavior. Thanks to Sereg for prereading and to Midnight Rambler for helping with the first draft song sequence. Thanks to Posey, Jetto, Blank!, and Kuroi Tsubasa Tenshi for editing (Plus three other anons who didn't give me their fimfic names). Especial thanks to whatmustido and ocalhoun for nitpicking the hell out of this mess.

All-mare version
All-stallion version
Stallion Twilight/mare main five version
The password for the FIMfic versions is: TUSH
(Every version is essentially identical, save character gender. Comments are enabled on the Gdocs if you notice any typos )

Shining Armor awakens one night to find a baby pony/changeling on his doorstep. A baby that is apparently his as well as Chrysalis's. Can he keep Cadance in the dark? Can Twilight help him? Is the queen changeling herself going to make an appearance? How many OCs will there be? Will everypony be in character? Who will cameo? And most importantly, was he technically cheating?

Read and find out.

Sequels contain spoilers. As in you will spoil the twist if you even look at the sequel.

I see you scrolling down. Stop that.

Editors: All of you!
Oh and SmilingKittens

Celestia has a secret: She hates her job. It's not like she can quit, though. After all, what would her little ponies do without her? But then Luna returns from the moon and provides a whole new perspective on modern Equestria, and Celestia starts to reconsider everything. Does Equestria really even need her anymore? Only one way to find out!

[Note: This story takes place after The Best Night Ever. Seasons 2 and 3 are not considered canon unless otherwise noted.]

When Twilight unveils a secret she's carried for half a lifetime, Luna and Celestia debate how best to respond.

Sometimes there is no right or easy answer.

Take no more than one pill every six hours.
...oops.

Rainbow Dash accidentally gives Twilight a severe overdose of painkillers. Now, she and another visitor to the library must deal with the consequences of forgetting to read the label.

Rated Teen for drug references and strong pony language (Rainbow Dash uses the "b" word).

Accepted into Twilight's Library on 3/27/14.

Partial readthrough by Emporerson

~SPOILERS~
Click here to see the five references mentioned in the A/N.

Naturally, most would think that having a destiny of good luck would be something wonderful. Who wouldn't love winning every competition? Who wouldn't love never having to worry about finding a job? Who wouldn't love to have everything handed to them without having to work at it?

One pony would beg to differ with this sentiment. Lucky Clover is a colt that has lived such a life, a life that has become more of a curse than a blessing. What once seemed to be great has turned into a nightmare, for being lucky all of the time does not necessarily mean life will be a simple trot in the park. On the contrary, it can present challenges that most would never face.

[A/N] I think I might have seen a story like this before, centered on a pony with perpetual luck, but I've decided to roll with this idea and give a story (with some background) to one of the most under-represented background ponies in this fandom.

With that said, I hope you enjoy. :)

Edited by: Twi-Guy

Story Slightly Inspired by: Every Thorn Has its Rose

After Rainbow Dash accidentally says the wrong two words to exactly the wrong unicorn, she learns a lesson about the power of language -- in more than one way.

(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group. New members and trope edits welcome.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.