//------------------------------//
// Fecal-Matter Is About To Hit The Industrial-Sized Air-Circulation Device 
// Story: If you have sex with a changeling that looks like your beloved and you didn’t know and you end up having a child together, does it count as cheating? 
// by TheWraithWriter 
//------------------------------//

Fecal-Matter Is About To Hit The Industrial-Sized Air-Circulation Device

“Huh. So, why wasn’t I in the last chapter?” Spike asked.
Spike! When did you get here? Rogue Italicizer, did you know Spike was here?
(Oh, he’s always around somewhere. No one really cares though.)
“But - but-”
Quiet, Spike, I’m trying to tell a story here.

******

Shining Armor swatted at a bug as it buzzed by his face.
“Where did Zecora say this plant was?” he asked irritably.
“She said we would find it in sun.” Twilight answered, a little irritated herself.
“You do realize that there is a lot of sunlight out here and we haven’t found anything that even remotely resembles that plant.”
“Maybe she was referring to the sun cave?” Twilight rubbed her mane in thought.
“Where’s this sun cave?”
“Not too far.” Twilight said as she summoned up a map of the Everfree. “If we’re not lost that is.”
While Twilight began going over the map, Shining sat down on his haunches and began wondering what exactly he planned to do. 
If the baby was his…. Well, he had no plan really. He didn’t know if there was any way he could possibly explain it to Cadance without getting severely injured.
Not that Cadance was violent all the time, but ever since being trapped in those caves beneath Canterlot she had a tendency to treat situations she normally would think on with violence.
It was a Post-Traumatic-Stress thing, as the royal physicians had explained. She’d would get better over time, but it was understandable, her reactions.
Still, Shining had found it amusing when his wife had punched out that tabloid rat Breaking News.
But there was an entirely different problem if the baby wasn’t his. What could he do with a baby that didn’t belong to him, particularly this one. He couldn’t exactly go looking for the real parents nor would he be comfortable leaving the child at an orphanage.
Although, he might be able to convince Cadance to be accepting if the baby wasn’t his. He could say that they could raise the child to be a bridge between ponies and changelings. Cadance had on several occasions said that in the end she wanted peace, not war, with the changelings.
Tartarus, they even could groom the baby to replace Chrysalis as the leader of the changelings.
So, current plan is to just tell Cadance that Twilight found the baby, I grew attached while helping her with it, and this is the perfect opportunity. Shining nodded to himself. Yes, that’ll work.
“Ah, here we are.” Twilight said, putting a hoof on the map. “And the cave is right here.” she looked at Shining. “We should have the plant in no time.”
Shining nodded and followed Twilight as she trotted off in the direction of the cave.

********

Rainbow Dash stared at Rarity while the latter swept up pieces of broken glass. 
“You - you - you…” Dash found it hard to form a sentence.
“I what dear?” Rarity asked as she dumped the load of glass into the waste basket. “Hm, need a mop now.”
“You just, you just smashed that bottle on her head.” Dash said, pointing to where Rarity had lain the Goddess of Love out.
“Well, what else was I supposed to do?” Rarity asked and she looked for a mop.
“I don’t know, not smash a bottle on her head.”
“Pinkie Pie was about to pass out. In fact she did.” Rarity pointed to where the pink pony in question now lay on a table, drooling. “I did the best with what I had.”
“Well, shouldn’t we move her?” Rainbow Dash said as she trotted over to Cadance’s unconscious body.
“Yes we should, thank you for reminding me darling. Now come on, give us a hand.”
Together, Equestria’s Fastest Flyer and Equestria’s Most Fashionable Dressmaker hoisted Cadance up and laid her down on a table.
“Now, moping.” Rarity said as she headed into the kitchen in search of the cleaning device.
Dash sat herself down next to Cadance and stared at the comatose princess. 
“Rarity’s really nice, honest.” she said, “But, sometimes she just acts rashly.” Dash narrowed her eyes. “Hey, I’m supposed to be the rash one! Why am I acting responsible?” Dash glanced up. “What are you doing?”
(He’s not thinking this through before he writes it, obviously.)
Hey!
“You’re brash, Dash.” groaned a voice.
Dash looked over to see Pinkie Pie stirring on the table.
“Huh?”
“Rarity panics and over reacts when royalty is around.” Pinkie explained. “You’re confident and not shy about it. It’s different.”
“Oh.” Dash nodded to herself. “That makes sense. Thanks Pinkie.”
“No problem. Ooh.” the party pony groaned. “I wish I knew she was that good at Party Pong before.”

*******

(Explained it away. And in character no less. I suppose that’s not too bad.)
“I still don’t understand where I went.”
(Spike! When did you get here? Gilda, did you know Spike was here.)
“Oh he’s usually somewhere.” the Gryphon said dismissively.
“Wha-? Gilda, how did you get here?” Spike asked, dumbfounded.
“Quiet Spike, he’s telling a story.”

*******

Zecora was alone in her hut, the baby dozing in a cradle nearby, and Fluttershy having gone for a quick bath in a nearby stream. The herbalist was balancing on her staff, eyes closed, and deep in thought.
She thought over the recent events. Imagine! The Prince of the Crystal Empire having a secret love child with the queen of the changelings! It was ludicrous! Oh, the scandal it would be if it ever got out. 
And if it was actually true.
The zebra had her doubts about the baby being Shining’s. She knew Chrysalis well enough to know she was certainly capable of pulling prank like this even if for the sole joy of messing with the ones who had ruined her grand plan.
To further support that, the zebra highly doubted Chrysalis would abandon any of her children without good cause. That changeling queen was very attached to her children and would do anything for them, as the wedding incident would suggest.
But while these matters were important and interesting, they were, as usual, not at the forefront of her mind. 
‘What is then?’ you might ask. Well, I think Zecora can answer that question best.
What a bitch it is to have to rhyme. the herbalist thought. All. The. Mother. Bucking. Time. Honestly, of this gimmick I tire. It is the source of most of my ire. I wish I could stop. But it is a habit I cannot seem to drop.
(At least she stopped selling that coffee with cocaine in it.)
Out loud, Zecora said, “I must think of rhymes to say, while the other ponies are away.”
Suddenly, Zecora felt the staff knocked from underneath her. She flailed her legs in the air for a second before falling flat on her back. The zebra sat up and saw Fluttershy standing there, mumbling an apology.
“Have you gone mad?” Zecora shouted, thoroughly miffed and rubbing the back of her head. She then looked off into space, thinking. After a time, the zebra found herself rhyme-less. “Fuck.”
And then a frying pan crashed into the back of her skull.
(This happens way to often.)
“Please don’t hate me.” Fluttershy said to the now unconscious zebra.
She gently placed the aforementioned frying pan down on the floor and then began looking around for a pillow. Taking one from Zecora’s bed, Fluttershy placed it underneath the zebra’s head. She tended to comatose herbalist, making sure she was alright and not in need of any immediate medical attention.
Fluttershy then went over to the cradle where the baby was sound asleep.
“Everything’s alright, little one.” the yellow pegasus said in a tender tone. She then gently took the baby out of the cradle and held it close to her chest. “Everything’s going to be just fine.”
And Fluttershy took the baby and left the hut, plunging into the Everfree.

******

“So why did Fluttershy do that?” asked Spike.
“Spike! When did you get here?” Gilda exclaimed. “Narrator, did you know Spike was here?”
I had no idea.
“Oh, come on guys, I’ve been here since chapter three!”
(That’s debatable.)
“You know what’s debatable? Why Gilda is here.” Spike said accusingly.
(Quiet Spike, he's telling a story.)
Dun 
Dun
Duuuuuunnnnnnnnnnnn!