Just What The Hay Does Zecora Do In Her Spare Time?
“Are you sure this is the right way?” Fluttershy asked Zecora.
The zebra glared at the yellow pegasus. “Of course I am sure,” she said, and then added in a low voice, “Ungrateful miserable cur.”
Twilight sighed as she watched Zecora stop to examine a tree she was pretty sure they had passed three times by now. She wondered if the zebra was under the influence of some sort of all-powerful being with a terrible sense of humor. It would explain why the zebra who lives in the Everfree Forest had gotten lost.
Shaking her head and turning to her brother, Twilight said, “So, you actually think the baby might not be yours?”
Shining nodded. “I wouldn’t put it past Chrysalis to take a rare albino changeling and dump it on my doorstep for shits and giggles. I don’t know what I’ll do if it turns out that the baby is mine, but…”
Shining turned his attention to the little bundle that floated in front of him. “Even if he isn’t, I couldn’t bear to just let this little tyke go.”
“He?” Twilight inquired.
Shining shrugged. “I don’t actually know if the baby is a she or a he, but I really don’t want to just say ‘it.’”
Twilight nodded and smiled. “You’re getting attached,” she said slyly, nudging him with her flank.
“I am not,” Shining insisted, though he was smiling as well.
“I could fly up and look around,” Fluttershy offered.
“Perhaps you should,” Zecora said, sighing. “I am certainly growing tired of this troublesome wood.” she rapped a hoof against the tree for emphasis.
But when her hoof connected with the tree, in place of the expected dull thud there was a sound like Zecora had hit a piece of cardboard. True to all that implies, that large piece of cardboard masquerading as a tree fell over to reveal Zecora’s hut.
“Ha! Now I remember!” Zecora said triumphantly. “I put these up to confuse those damn foals last December.”
Zecora smiled and happily trotted towards her home while Twilight, Shining, and Fluttershy exchanged looks.
They quickly entered Zecora’s home, standing together as the zebra went around the interior, gathering up ingredients. While she was doing that, Shining felt the baby stir in his magical grasp.
He brought the baby closer to his face, seeing that the child had woken up and was yawning cutely. Shining felt the blood in his arteries start clogging, but luckily he was saved by the very thing threatening his continued existence.
The baby suddenly became considerably less heart-stoppingly cute when it began wailing like a banshee.
Shining flinched. Twilight’s coat bristled on end and her eyes contracted to pin points. Fluttershy squeaked and jumped a ludicrous number of feet into the air. Zecora’s mane stood on end and she clenched her teeth.
All were frozen like that for a second before Zecora moved with surprising speed and pulled a bottle of some liquid from a cupboard. She dashed to another side of the room and pulled out a rubber nipple. She pulled the cork out of the bottle and pulled the rubber nipple over it. The zebra then dashed to Shining and shoved the nipple into baby’s mouth.
The baby immediately stopped wailing and began suckling contently from the bottle.
Shining Armor was dumbfounded. “What is that stuff and how did you know?”
“Changeling milk and a lucky guess,” the zebra said, panting. “Just make sure the baby doesn’t make a mess.”
Shining nodded and said a word of thanks, quietly to fussing over the baby now.
“And how did you get a hold of changeling milk?” Twilight asked.
Zecora gave Twilight a look. “Asking questions whose answers you don’t want to know,” she said as she continued gathering items. “On that path, you are sure to find woe.”
Twilight shook her head and turned to ask Fluttershy a question. But the pink-maned pegasus was nowhere to be found.
At least until Twilight heard a soft sound and looked up. Fluttershy had somehow attached herself to the ceiling of Zecora’s home and seemed unable to get down.
“Are you okay?” Twilight asked Fluttershy.
“F-f-fine,” Fluttershy replied through chattering teeth. “H-h-how are y-y-you?”
There was then a soft whooshing sound and a dart suddenly appeared on Fluttershy’s flank. Eyes rolled into the back of her skull and her muscles lost all tension and she quite unceremoniously crashed to the floor.
Twilight jumped slightly at this and traced the dart’s flight to the blowgun held by Zecora.
“What? She would have been there all day,” the zebra said simply. “Believe me, it is far better this way.”
“You killed her!” Twilight shouted.
“Please try not to be so melodramatic,” Zecora waved a dismissive hoof at Twilight. “It would only be a problem if she was an addict.”
Twilight’s expression became confused. “What?”
“It’s alright, Twilight” said a soft voice.
Twilight turned to see Fluttershy getting up from the floor. The pegasus pulled the dart out of her flank with a muffled squeak and some watery eyes, but seemed to be okay.
“Sometimes when I need to calm down, Zecora gives me some stuff that relaxes me.” the shy pegasus then shot a half-hearted glare at Zecora. “But she usually doesn’t administer it via blow darts.”
Zecora grinned wickedly.
Twilight rolled her eyes and shook her head. There really wasn’t any point in trying to puzzle out how and why Zecora would administering tranquilizers to Ponyville’s resident veterinarian. That road either implied Zecora was playing pharmacist for fun or there was something sexual and Twilight really wanted to stop thinking about that.
Shining watched this all with a passing interest. Most of his attention was focused on the feeding baby, who once more was being life-threateningly cute.
Shining then did an imitation of his sister’s coat and eye bit as he felt somepony yank a few of his hairs out. Whipping his head around, Shining saw Zecora with a few strands of his mane in her teeth.
The zebra trotted over to the table where she had place the rest of the gathered ingredients and placed the hairs there. She then approached shining again and very daintily plucked a strand of mane from the baby who didn’t react in the slightest.
Zecora set the strand of baby mane down with the rest of her gathered ingredients and looked over the ensemble with what looked like a touch of pride. Then, almost like an afterthought, the zebra yanked out a few of Twilight’s hairs as well.
“Ow! What the buck, Zecora!” the unicorn voiced her displeasure whilst rubbing the spot where the hairs were.
“I thought it prudent to test you as well,” Zecora said matter-of-factly. “Although, if you admit it now, it just might keep you out of pony hell.”
Twilight stared at the zebra with her mouth hanging open for a few minutes.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“I have to make sure you are not the mother,” Zecora said simply. “It would be awkward if you were since he’s your brother.”
Twilight openly gaped at the zebra, her ear twitching.
Zecora ignored her and ducked beneath the table and came up with some sort of greeting card which clearly had a heart on it. Opening the card, she plucked a strand of emerald green hair from inside. She laid the hair next to the others she had acquired and then carefully closed the card and returned it to its original place.
“What’s that?” Shining Armor asked.
“From within the deceptive mist,” Zecora intoned mystically. “This is the hair of Queen Chrysalis.”
“Hair from the Queen of the Changelings? How did you get that?” Shining asked.
Zecora just grinned lasciviously at him.
“So, what now?” Twilight asked, still glaring at Zecora.
“Well, now I-” suddenly Zecora broke off her sentence and stared at one of the ingredients. “Damnit, Pinkie Pie.”
“What?” Twilight asked, trotting over to the table.
Zecora pointed at a wilted plant.
“Pinkie borrowed some ingredients?” Twilight said.
Zecora nodded.
“And you need fresh ones for the parent test?”
Another nod.
Twilight sighed. “Where can I find them?”
“You can find this plant under the sun,” Zecora said, giving Twilight the withered plant as reference. “Once you return, we can get this done.”
Twilight sighed again and began walking towards the door. “C’mon Shining, I think I’m going to need your help.”
“But, what about the baby?” Shining said, holding the baby close to him.
“Fluttershy can look after the baby, right Fluttershy?”
The yellow pegasus nodded hesitantly. “Sure, not a problem, Twilight.”
Reluctantly, Shining relinquished the baby to Fluttershy, who took the baby and held it close to her chest.
“I’ll look after him, or her,” Fluttershy reassured Shining. “There’s no need to worry.”
Shining nodded and reluctantly followed his sister out the door.