3/14/24 Still Alive Edition

There's only one pony in Ponyville that the Mane Six have never met. Pinkie Pie has never thrown him a party, Applejack has never sold him a mug of cider, and Twilight has never seen him check out any books. And as far as that unicorn, Lapis Print, is concerned, that's exactly how it should be.

Lapis can't risk them knowing where he lives, what he does for a living, or even what his name is - if he gets his way, the Mane Six won't even know he exists, and nopony in Ponyville will miss him once he's gone.

It should be a piece of cake - after all, it's not like the biggest magical power in Equestria is about making sure everypony looks out for each other, right?

(Rated Teen for language - mental cursing mostly.)

One year ago, the immortal moon lich died.

One year ago, Twilight Sparkle the so-called human moved to Ponyville.

Rarity never believed that, of course. The "human" bit. After all, no human would willingly choose to live in a town of monsters, and no amount of magic or hunting orders or Plans with a capital "P" would ever change her mind on that—especially when said human was so constantly collected and calm.

But... if she wasn't human, what kind of monster could she be?

Written for the Raritwi-deprived Monochromatic, who so graciously let me cook for 1/4th of a year. Huge thanks to Swan Song for prereading, and to everyone I pestered for synonyms whenever the last of my braincells refused to word. Cover art by me!

Ocellus doesn't like the way Hyaline looks. Neither do any of the other changelings.

She wants him to stop.

He doesn't feel the need to.

Diamond Tiara was having a good morning. Then her mother dropped dead. Then things got weird.

A collaboration with SockPuppet. Inspiration in the author's note at the end.
Story notes

If there's one thing the denizens of Equestria have always needed, it's to have somewhere to relax and knock back a few drinks. The tales that follow chronicle Haggis, a surly ex-adventurer, and her plucky human assistant, as they attempt to live their lives and please customers of all varieties.

Artwork by AnonTheAnon (Twitter @RealAnonTheAnon)

If you want to help support me, I have a Tip-Jar/Patreon HERE

Damned if Anon knew why he was assigned a caretaker, considering he was a grown-ass man, but that's exactly what the Princesses had done after he arrived in Equestria. Aside from the deluded, motherly nut-job that looked after himself, his life was pretty normal. He worked a job, he had bills to pay, and he did his best to find a place for himself - regrettably and much to his continued misery, his mom™ always found a way to complicate matters.

Kinks Include: Wholesome, albeit questionable affection between a large, older mare and her adopted son

Artwork by AnonTheAnon (Twitter @RealAnonTheAnon)

If you want to help support me, I have a Tip-Jar/Patreon HERE

Flash Sentry has a problematic crush.

Sunset tries to help.

It does not end well.

Written for the 2023 May Pairings Contest.

A special thanks to EileenSaysHi for their generous editing assistance.

Featured 5/18/2023 - 5/20/2023!

It's Hearthswarming! The fireplace is lit, the presents are under the tree, and you are sharing a cup of hot cocoa with your best friend. How could it get any better? Well, if you ask Rainbow Dash, the answer is to venture outside in freezing temperatures and throw balls of frozen water at one another until you are soaked and suffering from hypothermia, or something like that.

For a mare that doesn't have a reputation for thinking things through, you doubt she has a plan to warm up after it's all said and done. Tonight, though...she might just surprise you.

Featured on 8 Jan 2023!
Featured on 26 Dec 2023!

Update (October 2023): I commissioned Redruin to do a 10 page comic for this story! Check my blog post or derpibooru to see it!

For little Wallflower Blush, life had always been quiet here in Canterlot, and everything was where it should be. Her family's flower shop was running just fine, school was just enough of a manageable hassle, and though she found it a lonely life, it was a life she was fine with.

Then one day, who else should she find loitering about in the flower shop, with a whole baggage of issues to sort out, if not the Princess' own personal student? And when she starts talking to her, and no other, perhaps it won't be so lonely after all.

9.5/10 from the Reviewer's Mansion
Highly Recommended from Present Perfect

Set before the events of Season One.

A standalone piece in the Spectrum-verse. TV Tropes page here!

Written for \o/ Scampy's SunFlower Shipping Contest \o/.

Edited and proofread by VoxAdam, cover drawn by my friend Grace. Thanks a bunch, guys

Featured on 08/04/2021 - 09/04/2021.

Rainbow Dash isn't what many ponies would consider attractive, but, somehow, she's managed to score a date with a stallion. Now she's at the restaurant, waiting for him to show up.

Thanks to PopMediaVagabond and CleanSweep for giving feedback on this.