• Member Since 26th Feb, 2014

DAMN HAMSTER


Giving you the truth, no matter how bad it hurts.

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Found 64 stories in 94ms

Total Words: 3,265,810
Estimated Reading: 1 week

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T

Princess Celestia saves a pony from Rainbow Falls from stoning by her fellow townsfolk and gives her sanctuary in Canterlot. While investigating the matter further, she discovers of laws made without her approval and does everything in her power to remove the town's leaders from their positions.

Chapters (16)
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When Julia is dared to skateboard down the deadliest hill in her neighborhood, she thinks she'll be fine. When she wakes up in Equestria, she has to find out why she's there, how to get back, and WHY THE HELL SHE'S AN ALICORN.

Julia, the seventh Element of Harmony, has to go and fix everything. And she can.

Right?

(Warnings: Profanity, HiE parody)

Chapters (1)
T

Everyone knows that Russia is shifty at best and about as reliable as back alley surgery. I mean, that's been a given in our world since Ivan the Terrible was around. Unfortunately, the Princesses of Equestria haven't exactly learned this lesson, and have left themselves terribly open to a cyber attack launched by the Russian Federation.

But what exactly is Putin after?

Currently relevant, absurd pony political satire. Teen for hidden innuendos.
A number of links are provided in-story at relevant points. Be warned, a significant amount of political flaming (biased against everyone equally) within.

EDIT: Featured 1/2/17! Thanks so much!

Chapters (1)
T

He's misanthropic, anti-social, lazy, shallow, and kind of a jerk. He's also not very bright. So why on Earth -- any Earth -- would a complete stranger expend the magical energy necessary to shove him into another reality, give him unfathomable power, and grant his every last wish?

Why indeed...


As requested, here's my parody of the second-worst thing to ever happen to fanfiction.* The cover art is only tangentially related, but it amuses me, so I'll keep it unless something better comes along. (A talented artist who loathes this ponyfic sub-genre as much as I do might attempt at some point to draw the main character in all his gear, but I'm not counting on it.)

*The number one spot goes to Erika "Snowqueens Icedragon" Mitchell, a/k/a E.L. James.

Chapters (3)
T

This story is a sequel to The Ravaging of Rainbow


Twilight Sparkle meets Donald Trump and grows to love him.

Chapters (1)
T
Source

So a guy goes and buys a somethin from a shady merchant and-

You know what? You know what this is. It's got 'Displaced' right in the title. C'mon. You know exactly what is happening here.

Anyways, guy gets sent to Equestria with powers.

Copious amounts of dank memes occur.

Buckle up kids, your're going to have to go to the hospital after this.


That story I probably get banned for.

Chapters (1)
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Source

Discord's the only creature in Equestria who can recognize the human for what he is -- not the long-lost Seventh Element that never actually existed and couldn't have existed before the human arrived, but a meta-reality warper, an entity far more powerful than Discord with the power to warp the minds of all around him and the very rules of magic to make sure that he's always the Big Hero. And the role the human's assigned to Discord is the Villain to beat down or kill.

Pre-reform Discord's fine with being the villain. But on his own terms. Not dancing on some alien interloper's puppet strings.

Without friendship, or even allies, Discord's going to have to find a way to defeat a creature who can alter fate itself and who can even mind-control him. Or he may just end up worse than dead.

Art by Tenchi-Outsuno. Progress Bar at my writing journal.

Trigger warnings: Mind control (magically induced love, magically induced friendship, magically induced stupidity, Discord being Discord), noncon/dubcon (magically induced love, other forms of highly dubious consent), rape (female on male), violence/gore (mostly against Discord), literally everything in chapters 19-21, humans not being presented as unilaterally wonderful and superior to ponies and/or draconequui.

Chapters (26)
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This story is a sequel to Getting Stuck


NOT in the "Shadow Wars" continuity, though it does use that continuity as backstory. Specifically, it would if in main continuity be set in Season 4 with all Shadow Wars.assumptions including most specifically Luna's and Twilight's past lives and Pinkie Pie's previous identity in the G3 universe (on which I was inspired by Alex Warlorn) as part of the backstory.

When a human who fell to Equestria through a dimensional portal rapes a citizen of Ponyville, Princess Twilight Sparkle is uncertain of how to handle the case, so she writes to Princess Celestia for advice. The following exchange of letters details that consultation.

Warning: this story is a very-unauthorized sequel to a rather nasty second-person story, NOT written by myself, which seems to be based on the premise that raping those caught at a disadvantage is unobjectionable. I do not endorse any of the opinions expressed in the prior work.

Note Well: The "romance" in the story doesn't involve the Human. Well, not the romance that I expect most readers to find warm and fuzzy, anyway.

Chapters (5)
T

This story is a sequel to Keeping It Simple


Octavia has fought hard in her life for three things: her art, her career, and her new boyfriend. She never learned to stop fighting.

It's a mistake that might cost her two out of three of the things she's fought tooth and tail for. She's still figuring out which two.

Chapters (4)
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Source

The Tasty Treat becomes a successful restaurant, despite not having the three-hoof rating that makes all the restaurants in Restaurant Row successful. The Queen of Cuisine, Zesty Gourmand, will not let this stand without criticism.

Unfortunately for her, somepony else will not let her flawed method of critiquing restaurants go unpunished. And he's not holding back anything. No way in Hell, especially in his own kitchen.


Spoilers for Season 6 Episode 12

Random Oneshot Idea that just popped in my head.

Contains vulgar language and verbal bashing (Judging from the cover art, you can tell why).

Chapters (1)