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// Chapter 1: An Exchange of Letters 
// Story: An Epistolary Legal Consultation Between Princesses 
// by Jordan179 
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Dear Princess Celestia,

Today I learned that not all humanoids are as nice as the ones I met through the Mirror.  You had warned me about this eight months ago when Charlie Yu first came to our world, but I foolishly assumed that my friends and I could keep him from causing any harm.  I neglected to consider that he might attack one of the more vulnerable members of Ponyville.  I am ashamed by my failure in this regard.  Had I considered what might happen, and kept him away from town, I might have prevented harm to a very innocent and beloved inhabitant of our town.

I hesitate to commit this to paper, but the essence of what happened is simple.  Eight days ago, Charlie Yu seems to have come across our mailmare, Derpy Hooves, who had become embedded in a hedge, her posterior pointing toward the path upon which Charlie was walking.  Claiming (later, to me) to have mistaken her struggles to get free for some sort of sexual advance, he had carnal knowledge of her, at no time addressing her verbally even in reply to her questions and other statements.  

He then helped her get out of the hedge, and attempted to leave unseen, apparently forgetting the most salient and obvious characteristic of Pegasi -- namely, their power of flight.  Miss Hooves of course immediately recognized his identity, as Yu is the only human (to my knowledge) currently resident within Equestrian borders, and she had frequently delivered him mail.  Parenthetically, I find the requisite lack of forethought on his part almost beyond belief.

Here is where the case becomes complicated.  Miss Hooves appears to have neither consented to nor resisted Yu's actions during the actual period of physical contact.  Afterward, she did not seem upset, and indeed followed him around for a week under the assumption that Yu's behavior constituted honorable courtship, and referred to him to others as her "colt friend."  In short, she seems to have at least retroactively consented to the copulation.

Charlie Yu, however, did not consider himself to be her "colt friend" (or equivalent appellation for Yu's species).  When Miss Hooves made this claim before Miss Pinkamena Diane Pie at Sugar Cube Corner, Yu rounded on Miss Hooves and said (direct quote from Pinkie, who has a demonstrably perfect memory) "I am not your colt friend!  All I did was bang you once!  Leave me the hell alone you creepy wall-eyed retard!"  (I apologize for the crudity of Yu's remarks, but this is a direct quote).

At which point, Miss Hooves (understandably) burst out into tears and fled, and Miss Pie inquired of Yu as to exactly what he had done to Miss Hooves.  Yu then more or less confirmed the statement he had made to Miss Hooves, with the inclusion that "I found her stuck in a wall so I did what came naturally," and adding "I only did it because you're so stuck up you wouldn't give me the time of day!  I still like you, I sure as hell don't like that stupid slut Derpy!"

Let me add at this point that, until I heard what happened next -- and saw the hoofprints on Yu's face -- I had not been aware that any of the Daughters of Paradise were psychologically capable of direct physical violence save in self-defense or obvious time of war.  Pinkie's later explanation for her actions was that "He was a really MEAN meanie!" -- a judgement with which I am forced to concur, though I still reprimanded my friend for her (understandable) loss of self-control at this point.  Fortunately, Yu's injuries were very superficial -- he was merely dazed long enough for Pinkie Pie to restrain him, and confine him temporarily in the cellar for future disposal.

Pinkie Pie then came to the library (I cannot honestly describe her mode of locomotion with any greater precision, as she more or less directly manifested from my desk drawer, as I was reaching into it for a bottle of ink) and informed me in short of what had just happened.  I instructed my assistant Spike (who had heard the whole story) to accompany Pinkie back to Sugar Cube Corner to ensure Charlie Yu's continued confinement, and flew off in search of Derpy Hooves.

I soon located her, in the house she shares with her offspring Dinky, and observed Derpy Hooves to be in considerable emotional distress.  I was able to calm her sufficiently for an interview.  Her description of events corresponded to that given by Pinkie Pie, and included important additional details:  specifically, that Yu had at no point attempted to talk to her during the sexual act, and (as Derpy evidently did not realize) to conceal his identity from her (implying an awareness on his part of his own guilt, demonstrating mens culpa).

I comforted Miss Hooves as best I could and then, armed with this new evidence, flew to Sugar Cube Corner and entered the cellar.  There I found Charlie Yu in some physical distress, having suffered a bite wound to the lower left hind leg and some concurrent second-degree burns, and being angrily confronted by my assistant Spike.  Pinkie Pie was not on the premises.

As I learned from questioning my assistant, just before I arrived, Pinkie Pie had left Spike alone to watch him.  Apparently, Charlie Yu felt emboldened by my assistant's small size, and did not fully comprehend the definition of the word "dragon."  Yu believed that he could overpower Spike and flee the cellar.  When Spike confronted him, Yu made the mistake of kicking him.

I had not known before this moment that Spike could breathe fire while his teeth were embedded in the flesh and in physical contact with the tibia of an assailant.  Evidently, Yu had not known this either.  We were both equally enlightened, though Yu's enlightenment came with greater physical pain than did my own.

Spike claimed that he had not meant to breathe any fire, and that his exhalation of flame had come as an involuntary reaction to being beaten with the human's fist while he had been maintaining the grip of his jaws.  He also stated that in consequence he had only emitted a very small quantity of relatively low temperature flame.  As Charlie Yu still had a functional lower left hind leg, I must agree with Spike's analysis of the encounter.

I then formally arrested Charlie Yu, in my role as a representative of the Realm of Your Highness.  Charlie seemed to be surprised at this, making comments to the effect that his treatment was "unfair," that he had "Constitutional rights," that he "she was asking for it waving her butt around in the air like that" and "you stupid little Ponies sure take a little fun too seriously."  He also demanded a lawyer, and intimated that he would launch a civil action against "that crazy Pinkie" and "that nasty little gecko."

I am glad to say that the breathing exercises taught to me by my dear sister-in-law proved very effective at restraining myself from any unseemly display of hostile emotions at this point.  I remained calm, and simply informed him that (1)  arrest for rape was normal procedure under all legal systems with which I was conversant, that (2) the "constitution" of Equestria was a combination of various Charters, Royal Decrees and Parliamentary Acts over the last fifteen hundred years, and that it did provide for a fair trial for the accused, (3) that simply moving one's hindquarters about when one's front quarters were physically entrapped was not taken as a clear sexual invitation by psychologically-normal stallions, and (4) rape was not considered to be a legitimate means of recreation under the norms of present-day Equestrian civilization.  I then added that if he could not afford a lawyer, one would be provided for him, should he so desire; and that -- as an agent of the Realm -- it was not my function  to advise him on the details of Equestrian tort law.

I believe that I maintained my calm quite admirably.  Spike later claimed that my "eye was twitching toward the end," which is perfectly possible but does not change the fact that I delivered a logical and informative reply to Charlie Yu's various claims.

Pinkie Pie returned with Rainbow Dash in company.  At this point I found it necessary to restrain the admirable but sometimes rash Rainbow from attempting an unnecessary subdual of our prisoner.  My telekinesis was perfectly adequate to prevent any actual outbreak of further violence, and any claims by Yu that she struck him would be a complete fabrication on his part.  I will add that Rainbow Dash attended Flight School with Derpy Hooves, and hence may have felt a certain personal degree of outrage at the treatment of Miss Hoves -- I fully understand, while not endorsing, Rainbow's sentiments.

We then transported Charlie Yu to the confines of the Ponyville Jail.  This is a small facility, with only two actual cells, but should be adquate to hold him until we can decide as to his further disposal.  My thought in the matter is that, as Yu is a foreign national, Yu should be transported to Canterlot for due process of law.

I'm actually uncertain as to just which laws apply to this situation.  Yu is demonstrably not a Pony, nor a member of any known species, nor a subject of any Realm with whom Equestria has formal diplomatic relations.  Rape is, of course, illegal -- but the specifics of this rape involve many complex questions of consent and possible errors of interpretation on the part of both alleged assailant and victim.

For instance, should we seriously entertain Yu's claim that he thought that Miss Hooves was "asking for it?"  I know nothing of Human mating customs -- perhaps their females do normally solicit sexual contact by plunging their forequarters into hedges and waving their hindquarters in the air?  What of the issue of Miss Hooves' lack of objections at the time and belief for one week that they were a courting couple?  Can consent be retroactive?  Can it then be retroactively withdrawn?

One problem is that rape is itself a rare crime in modern Equestria.  

I earnestly ask for your advice, beloved mentor.

Your Former But Forever-Faithful Student,
Twilight Sparkle


Addendum # 1

Dear Princess Celestia Star-Catcher,

I am so so so sorry that I didn't know what that big meanie Yu was going to do!  I should have known because I got a really bad Pinkie Sense from him every time he asked me out which is why I always said no.  I got this twitch where my tail curls up under my belly and I sit down and I really really want a bath even though I just took one which is freaky!  I think this one means "this guy is a really big MEAN meanie and if you turn your back on him he will try to do really bad things to you so don't ever be alone with him and whatever you do don't get stuck in a hedge with your rump where he can see it!"

I can't believe I was dumb enough to try to be his friend but I try to be everypony's friend but he isn't a pony but then Spike isn't either and Spike would never be a meanie like that.  I feel bad because Derpy got hurt and she's my friend.  It makes me sad when I think about it.  Why was he such a meanie?

I'm sorry I kicked Yu in the face but he kind of deserved it.  I wouldn't do it again though.

Sincerely Truly Indupidatably Yours,
Pinkamena Diane Pie Because This Is Formal


Addendum # 2

Dear Princess Celestia,

I'm sorry that I bit and burned Charlie Yu's leg.  Not because I hurt him -- he deserves to be hurt for what he did to my friend Derpy Hooves.  I admit that I got angry at someone doing such a thing to one of my personal acquaintances.  And I know that part of the reason why is that I think of her as "mine" -- I can't help my nature when something this extreme is concerned.

I'm sorry because I overreacted and lost control.  I have to get better at that because I know that someday I'll be very big and I'll have to be very careful not to hurt smaller beings.  You've told me this and Twilight has told me this and I know it's important.  I hope you forgive me for failing to control myself this time.

In my opinion Charlie Yu is a real nasty person.  If I were you I'd put him somewhere that he can't hurt any more Ponies.  He is not at all sorry for what he did, only sorry that he may be punished for it.  He still doesn't get why it's not cool to treat a nice lady like Derpy like he did, even if she sometimes eats all the muffins.  He's not a good creature at all.  He might do it again.

Your Faithful Student's Assistant,
Spike

Addendum # 3

(transcripts of the various interviews and interrogations conducted by Princess Twilight Sparkle -- not reproduced here)



***


Dear Twilight Sparkle,

It is always a pleasure to hear from you, though I regret the suffering inflicted on Derpy Hooves which has occasioned this letter.  This is the case whether or not this infliction was truly "rape" under Equestrian criminal law.  Whatever the legal definition of Charlie Yu's actions, he treated Derpy Hooves abominably, and with a total disregard for her dignity and emotional well-being.  I find it extremely difficult to sympathize with a being who could behave so badly to such a caring and kind Pony as is Derpy -- and I must caution myself in considering the matter to at least partially set aside my personal sentiments, as personal sentiments are not always the best guide to action on the part of a Princess.

This is indeed a very knotty legal question.  I see several issues here.  

Firstly, whether or not a "reaonable Pony" (or Human) would have construed Derpy's physical gyrations to constitute a sexual invitation.  Obviously, a reasonable Pony would not, but Humans of Yu's culture might have other standards, creating a false impression in Yu's mind.

(Luna says that she'd like to spray singularities into any culture which has standards under which Yu's actions are reasonable.  She actually thinks that Yu is lying through his teeth -- don't take this as intent on her part to go to war with the Humans).

Secondly, whether or not Derpy had the capability to give informed consent.  You may be unaware that she is a friend of my sister's, and that in consequence I have met her personally on more than one occasion.  Derpy is not as severely retarded as Yu imagines, but she is rather lonely at times, and she may well have indeed consented, especially if she thought he liked her.

(Luna advises you not to let anything in that last sentence become public knowledge, as it might prejudice any prosecution of the case, should we choose to bring formal charges in court.  Actually, what Luna said was considerably more angry and colorful than that, but she can tell you herself some time).

Thirdly, whether or not Yu intended to commit rape.  His willingness to take advantage of Derpy's physical situation and his desire to conceal his identity argue strongly for mens culpa, as you pointed out.  One does not normally woo another when she is trapped in a hedge, nor does one normally try to steal away unnoticed after such an unorthodox courtship!

(My sister says she'd like to jam Yu in something, preferably in manticore country in the middle of the Everfree, and then steal away unnoticed, and take bets on if and when he could get back to civilization.  Ah, Luna has such a passionate approach to life!  Her snarl is often worse than her hooves, but still I wouldn't release Yu into her custody, if I were in your position).

Fourthly, whether or not Derpy did in fact retroactively consent.  I'd say the evidence is fairly clear that she did, but under false pretenses on his part.  Unfortunately, at no point did the suspect actually extend even an offer of betrothal, so there can be no issue of breach-of-promise here.

(Luna is curious to know whether or not I intend to make "faithless exploitation of the innocent" a proper defense under Equestrian law.  I do not, as I just told her, but I do have to consider the precedent we set here -- I do not want the courts besieged by jilted lovers who now claim they never consented in the first place to their former beloveds, as that could get messy).

Fifthly, whether or not retroactive consent is relevant given that the sex was at best semi-consenusal from the start.  From Derpy's testimony, it is reasonable to assume that Charlie Yu would not have taken "no" for an answer.  However, as the prospective defendant, Yu is entitled to the presumption of innocence:  hence a mere assumption may be insufficient here.

(Luna is getting angry about this and is making dark references to various constituents of her personal arsenal and various parts of Charlie Yu's anatomy.  I think she is just venting her emotions now).

Finally, there is the issue of venue and the status of the accused.  The alleged crime was committed on Equestrian soil, and Charlie Yu cannot claim to be a diplomat or other accredited and immune representative of a foreign Power; what is more, we would not tolerate such behavior even by some person who might be able to claim sovereign immunity -- we would demand his punishment by his sovereign or treat it as an act of war against Equestria.  I see absolutely no reason to imagine that Charlie Yu was dispatched to Equestria by the "United States of America" (yes, that's how they spell that last word -- it's an eerie parallel) in order to rape one of our mail mares, so we have to assume that he was acting purely on his own individual behalf.  That disposes of that particular defense.

(Luna says she's glad because she doesn't have anything in particular against Humans, just against Charlie Yu).

I suggest that you retain Charlie Yu in your custody at Ponyville, whether in the town jail or in some other suitable facility, while we consult some of our legal experts to determine the disposal of his case, including an exact formulation of charges.  I expect that some sort of felony charge will be brought, so you should regard Yu as a potentially-serious criminal who has displayed inclinations toward violence, and treat him with according care for your own safety and that of my little ponies.  Remember in particular that -- while he is not physically-formidable by our standards, he is by the standards of smaller and weaker ponies, particularly the young.

(Luna says that if he harms any children she will not be responsible for her actions.  I don't think she's exaggerating on this point, though I do hope that she remains calm).

I would appreciate it if you continued your investigations, perhaps conducting further interrogations with a view toward obtaining an actual confession or other detailed statement by the accused.  Remember that, under our law, he is not entitled to the presence of attorney at this stage of the proceedings, since he is technically being held as a suspect at this point, rather than having been formally charged.

(Luna is muttering darkly about some of the worst abuses of interrogation techniques in the times before the Unification, in a manner which could be taken as connoting her lack of sincere sorrow should they be applied to Charlie Yu.  I need not add that I would most strongly disapprove of any such actions on your part).

Hope to hear further reports on this, and I should be sending you more instructions regarding this matter by tomorrow.

Your Former Teacher and Eternal Friend,
Princess Celestia Helia Sola Invictia

P.S. -  Pinkie Pie, this is not your fault.  You said yourself that you'd never had that particular precognitive flash before, so you could not be reasonably expected to have predicted Yu's actions.  You -- and That which guides you -- continue to enjoy my utmost confidence, friendship, love and trust.  Paradise lives in you, and in my heart as well.  

She who was Star-Catcher

P.P.S. -  Spike, I do not blame you for harming Charlie Yu, especially given that he was attempting to escape and specifically to harm you in the process at the time.  Still, I am glad that you realize the importance of self-restraint given the relative fragilty of other organic life compared to yourself.  I am certain that you are and will continue to remain a good Dragon -- and Pony, in the wider meaning of both words.  

Your Friend and Adoptive Mother, 
Princess Celestia


Addendum # 2

Dear Princess Twilight Sparkle,

I am sorry that such an unpleasant charge as this worm Yu hast fallen upon thee.  Thou art the most intelligent and reasonable of Ponies, but as thou art also kind and merciful beyond most measures -- as I have ample reason to know in mine own case -- I counsel thee not to succumb in any wise to the wiles of this foul Human.  He is clearly a callous and evil wight, to have used so cruelly my dear friend Derpy Hooves, who is a mare of extreme good will to all others, though sadly sometimes a poor judge of character.  She has so much beneficence and litle malice in her own nature that she sometimes can not recognize the baser emotions in others.

Despite my fulminations to my sister, thou needest have no fear that I would murther Charlie Yu, though I must admit that I do feel strongly tempted to act in his despite.  I never liked much any who would harm my little Ponies, let alone one who is mine own true Friend, as is good Derpy.  And to my mind the legal excuses on which he would worm his way out from under the Hammer of true Justice are foul and further proof of his own ill nature.  He also vilely slanders and contemns my dear friend Derpy, and in such wise as would suggest a deep despite for all those weaker than his own base Self.

Faugh!  If I write further upon this matter, I will wind up writing down such threats against and aspersions upon this Yu as were unworthy of both my own Pen to set down and of your own dear Eyes to read from this Paper.  So I shall stop.

I hope that we may meet again soon upon better Circumstances, as I greatly enjoy your Company and would like to further Converse upon our Future and other divers matters.  You are my trusted Friend, my Kindred Spirit, and I hope that we can continue to improve our Acquaintance.

Yours in All Friendship,

Luna Selena Nyx,
Who Was Once Moondreamer