Chapter 4: ... Can Be Deceiving
From the Private Journal of Princess Twilight Sparkle:
I'm going to have to keep the interview in a separate pad. That may be evidence, and I certainly do not want my earlier, um, mooning about Luna's intentions and my possible responses to wind up being read aloud in court. Maybe some day I'll mine it for a book of memoirs, after these events are long past and we can all have a laugh about it. Right now, it would be terribly embarrassing.
By the way, I just made a pun. I mention this should anypony accuse me of being humorless. I have a perfectly-good sense of humor. Even if I don't exercise mine as often as does Pinkie Pie her own.
Pinkie Pie is relevant because I'm inviting her along. I don't want Spike to have to hear the details of this. He's more innocent than he pretends to be. And Pinkie has an eidetic memory.
Or Paradise does. I rather suspect that ancient construct will be looking out from her eyes at a moment like this. If I understand its purpose properly, I think it will want to know for itself what really happened to Derpy Hooves. And if I'm right about what really happened, this may head off trouble far worse than anything of which Charlie Yu is capable.
I can also use this as a check on the honesty of Paradise. I will keep my own notes, and if the two diverge too greatly, I may catch it in a lie. I don't fully trust it. Pinkie explained its Three Laws logic to me once, but I could wiggle out of those laws to do what I wanted, and I bet that an immortal magic super-brain can do so as well. I don't think it's hostile to Ponies. However, it may have its own agenda.
I also rounded up Applejack. If one is best friends with a Living Lie Detector, one might as well invite her to an interview. Or interrogation, to be honest, even if a rather relaxed one, I hope.
The first time I asked Derpy what happened, my questioning was very cursory. Just enough to establish that she had been stuck in a hedge and that Charlie Yu did have carnal knowledge of her without her expressed consent. This time, I will ask her for the details. She's calmed down now, so I should be able to learn the answers. And find out the reasons for several matters about this case which have begun to bother me.
Here goes.
(see attached Interview)
Well ... that went as well as could be expected.
I feel as if I've just kicked a little puppy. But then I expected that too.
I feel really dirty. I feel as if the whole world is really dirty. I feel as if my whole species is dirty, and his whole species. I feel as if life is dirty and foul and we should just lie down and let the Shadows take over, because they couldn't possibly be any worse than ourselves.
It's not what Charlie Yu did that makes me so sad. I knew that he treated her like dirt. That didn't surprise me.
It's how Ponies have treated Derpy Hooves. How the Ponies of her own herd have treated her.
How can they be so cruel?
How can we be so cruel?
I feel as if a chasm is yawning at my feet and everything I thought good and safe and wholesome is just a veneer over an open grave teeming with maggots. As if everypony is living a lie.
Is this what life can be like when you're not smart and special and mentored by the most powerful Pony who's ever existed? When you're not born from an old family and taught how to behave so you know what to do -- and what not to do? When you're just ordinary? Or less than ordinary, at least in the eyes of others?
How can we treat her like this?
At least, thank Celestia, none of my friends were involved. I think if they had been I'd just fly out of Ponyville -- maybe south -- and just keep on flying until I hit Antarctica.
It isn't most ponies. Just some. Did they have no comprehension of what they were doing? Did they just not care?
I should just crawl into bed and roll myself up in the blankets and go to sleep. Maybe for a thousand years, until Luna rescues me. Turnabout is fair play, isn't it?
Anyway, I'd probably just have bad dreams, and then maybe I'd wind up talking to Luna sooner than I expected.
But I have work to do.
Celestia, I think you knew. I think you wanted me to learn this lesson.
It's very hard for me to love you right now.
Interview Notes - Annotated Copy Kept By Princess Twilight Sparkle
Location: Subject's residence in Ponyville.
Interviewer: Princess Twilight Sparkle.
Subject: Miss Derpy Hooves
Recorder: Miss Pinkamena Diane Pie
Witnesses: Miss Jacqueline Apple, Mr. Paradise
Comments: This interview is a followup to the initial evidence collected from Subject regarding her alleged rape by the Human, Charlie Yu.
Interviewer: Derpy, are you ready to go over what happened that night with me?
Subject: Ok, sure, Princess Twilight. If you think it will help.
Interviewer: Yes, I think it will help a lot.
Subject: Then, sure.
The version submitted to the Court leaves out so much. How Derpy's whole face, her eyes and ears and mouth and everything just drooped, no collapsed, when she realized what I wanted to talk to her about. It doesn't mention that little Dinky was in the house at first and that when I told her what I wanted, she sent Ditzy off to a neighbor who she knew would watch her because she didn't want Dinky to hear her tell me about what had happened that night.
That says a lot about Derpy Hooves. At what must have been one of the lowest points in her life, she was looking out for her "little Muffin." She wanted her to have better than she'd had, to live a life in which there could be friendship and love and hope for the future. She didn't want her to be -- tainted.
I guessed that much. I even suspected that she didn't want Ditzy to hear that her mother's role in the events of that night had not been entirely involuntary.
But I didn't guess it all. I don't know if I would have had the courage to step into Derpy's living room, with its threadbare couch and brave little attempts at decoration, if I'd known it all.
I wish I could un-know it.
Interviewer: Perhaps you can start by explaining how you wound up stuck in that hedge.
Subject: Sure. I'd been on a late run to Steven, and some plants had slowed me down on the way back ...
Interviewer: Wait, Steven who?
Subject: Steven Magnet.
Interviewer: The river serpent?
Subject (laughed merrily): Yep, that's the one! He's a nice serpent though. He's all big and purple and pretty and has this yellow mustache and ...
Interviewer: I've met him. So you said you were slowed by plants -- weren't you flying?
Subject: Yeah, but I got too close to a tanglevine tree and -- you know how it is?
Interviewer: Sort of. Aren't those things carnivorous?
Subject: Carn-i ...?
Interviewer: They eat animals. Including Ponies.
Subject: Oh yes (giggles). It wanted to eat me. But I didn't let it!
Interviewer: What did you do?
Subject: I got out this machete I always take when I go into the Everfree and I chopped and chopped it until it let go. They do that when you chop them!
Interviewer: I'd imagine so -- um, what if it had grabbed your forelegs so you couldn't chop it?
Subject: I guess I woulda thunk of something! I always do!
Again, the bare facts, even with the addition of dialogue tags to show when she laughed, do not do this justice. One must envision Pinkie and I, sitting in this threadbare little room with Derpy Hooves, her face slowly lighting up from its previous shamed depression as she recounted to us how she had fought for her life against carnivorous plants in the middle of a hell-forest, a place that I venture into freely only because I am a powerful mage -- and, since my experience with that cockatrice, never alone any more.
She was giggling like a happy little filly as she described what must have been the most desperate fight for survival, the tanglevines whipping around her legs and wings, binding her tighter and tighter, hollow vampire thorns digging into her fur, trying to make it through the coat and outer skin to reach her blood vessels and begin draining her very life from her while she was still fully-conscious. A dreadful fate, and only her machete to rely upon. No friends. And if she hadn't been able to get out the machete, she'd have "thunk of something."
She wasn't a powerful mage. She wasn't even the most capable Pegasus. And she went into that forest again and again and again, just to deliver the mail. She went in alone, into a place where she knew there were things willing and able to kill her.
I remembered when I'd first ventured into that forest. Six of us, on a quest to save the world. All of us with special abilities and training. I had thought we were very brave.
She had no special abilities. No special training. Her depth perception was unreliable. She wasn't even that clever.
Yet she did this. Why did she do this? Was it because she was too stupid to grasp the dangers?
Interviewer: Weren't you afraid?
Subject: Scared? Why?
Interviewer: You were being eaten by a tanglevine tree.
Subject (snort-laughs): Nah. I had a machete.
Interviewer: But what if you'd dropped it and you couldn't have thought of any way out?
Subject (takes time to think): I guess it woulda eated me. But that's ok.
Interviewer: What? How would being eaten by a tanglevine tree have been ok?
Subject: I get life insurance through my job.
Interviewer: But ... you'd be dead!
Subject: Sure, but there'd be lotsa money for my little Muffin. She'd be sad but she'd be ok, she'd get to go to good schools, have a good life.
The transcript does not bother to go into the fact that when I fully grasped what she meant, I started weeping Quietly. Pinkie Pie, for her part, wasn't quiet at all. Applejack just looked sad: she frowned, drooped her ears a bit.
I had no idea how Paradise felt about this.
Derpy Hooves knew exactly how dangerous was her job. She knew she was likely to die someday, doing it.
She just didn't care. As long as Dinky was safe, nothing else mattered. And I knew how these government jobs worked. She was getting hazard pay and a big pay-in to a life insurance fund. If she died in the course of her duty -- which she probably would -- her "little Muffin" would be rich. If she lived -- then she'd get to spend all that hazard pay. On Dinky.
Is there a word to describe that simple, careless courage, the courage of a mother who would risk her own life, day after day, to ensure that her daughter would have a better life than she herself had known? We erect no statues to it, sing no songs to it -- but we should. By Tartarus and the Styx, by the older things by which the Ruling Princesses swear, by the Megan and the All-Father, we should!
Derpy Hooves was a heroine. And I hadn't even known it. I'd lived in the same small town as her for over four years now, I'd fought my way with friends at my side every now and then through that same forest, I went to the old castle on a cleared road while she flew into every odd corner of that monster-haunted woods, and before today I had taken her for granted, perhaps thought of her with mild pity or even contempt.
The worst of it was that what she was revealing, with her simple pride in a job well done, was one of the worst things possible for the chance of success of any case against Charlie Yu. The mare who was revealing herself through this episode -- and by other things I asked her which I shall omit from this version -- was no helpless, brainless creature who could easily be intimidated into sexual submission by some Human lout on a Ponyville lane.
She was a tough, canny survivor, someone who fought on a regular basis against things which would have eaten Charlie Yu whole and without difficulty. That she was cute and bubbly and not very bright was irrelevant. The Derpy Hooves I was seeing here was no victim.
I was wrong, of course. Derpy Hooves was a victim.
Just not of violent rape.
Interviewer: Getting back to the night of the incident ... So, you were heading back home after being delayed by your encounter with the tanglevine tree.
Subject: Yeah. And I was in a hurry cause I didn't want to miss the fireworks.
Interviewer: The Summer's End Festival of 1504.
Subject: Well, yeah. (looking puzzled) It was just a week and a half ago, Princess Twilight. Don't you remember?
Interviewer (explains): That was to confirm the date.
Subject: Oh. Gee, you're smart, Princess Twilight. Just like Princess Luna ...
Interviewer: So had you delivered all your mail for the shift?
Subject (looks uncomfortable): Well, no ... see, I'd done all the deliveries for the Everfree run, but there was some local mail I hadn't dropped off. But I was scared I'd miss the fireworks. They had really pretty fireworks! All red and green and yellow with bursts like flowers and ...
Interviewer: So you still had some of the mail, then?
Subject (looks even more uncomfortable): Yeah. And then I dropped the bag when I hit the hedge and I forgot about it until the next day and so the mail was late and I'm never supposed to just leave mail lying around and ... (looks at Interviewer imploringly) ... I'm not going to get in trouble about being careless with the mail, will I? Because I promise to never do it again and ...
Interviewer: Um, I'm pretty sure you won't get into any trouble over this.
I had to pause for a moment to compose myself, because at that point my voice was starting to thicken up and my eyes moisten again. I drew a foreleg across my eyes, then looked at my fellow team mates. Applejack's lip was firmly set, her expression carefully neutral in a way which told me that she was holding in an emotion she considered inappropriate to this formal setting. She's terrible at concealing her feelings to anypony who knows her well, though this can fool strangers. Pinkie Pie looked utterly dejected, a fact that would have been obvious to anypony even if they had not understood the implications of her utterly-straight mane.
I didn't know what, if anything, Paradise was feeling. Or if it even had feelings like Ponies do, though Pinkie Pie had once told me that it cared for all the Daughters of Paradise with a love so intensely pure that very few normal emotions could compare. This was not the exact way Pinkie had phrased it, of course, but I got the gist. After four years, I had acquired a very good listening comprehension of Pinkie-speak. I also suspected from this why most of the Daughters never wed -- I doubted most mere mortal Ponies could match that standard.
Its primary purpose was to protect Ponykind, so I am guessing that it was feeling protective toward Derpy Hooves right now. And angry at Charlie Yu. I was certainly feeling both emotions right now.
Interviewer: Let us get back to the crash. How did you crash into that hedge?
Subject (giggles): Front end first, of course! That's why my rump was sticking out!
Interviewer: No, I mean how did you happen to crash into the hedge?
Subject: Oh, that was because of the mailbags. See, I had only one bag left and it was on my right side so I was a bit off balance. And I can't see how far away things are so good ...
This was because Derpy Hooves suffers from strabismus, the condition commonly called "wall-eyed," and because her eyes do not easily focus on the same point, she has problems with depth perception.
Subject (continues): ... and it was starting to get dark and my landing was off. I smacked into the hedge but I wasn't hurt, you know how when you fly your field keeps you safe as long as you don't hit too hard? Of course you do, you fly too! (*giggles*) But then I was stuck high up in that hedge, my front legs were out one end and my rear legs out the other end with no hooves on the ground and my wings were all folded up inside the hedge so I couldn't fly, and the hedge was thick so I couldn't fall in or it.
This was actually a good and concise description of Derpy's situation. A pegasus (or alicorn) in flight creates a paramagnetic force field which emnates from the flight feathers and wraps around the body. This is why we can breathe without difficulty no matter how fast we fly, and why we can make really rough landings without damage to more than our dignities. The force field spreads out any impact, converting it into an elastic one -- most of the time, a crash feels like falling into a mattress rather than the bone-breaking one it would otherwise be.
If a pegasus could keep that field up on the ground she would be very hard to hurt. Unfortunately, the field only works when one is actually flying -- the only pegasus I've ever seen able to extend her flight field while not flying is Scootaloo, and I still need to do a further study on exactly how she does it. Rainbow Dash is no help here: she is an expert flyer but it's almost entirely intuitive for her; she's not very good at putting her analyses into words.
Derpy couldn't extend her wings while within the hedge, so she couldn't get any paramagnetic propulsion. With her barrel supported by the hedge itself, and her forehooves and hindhooves off the ground, she could not get much traction to move in either direction, and the elastic branches would have compressed and made it difficult for her to wriggle free. Unless some other pony -- or person -- came over to brace against her in some fashion, it would take her a long time to get out of there, and she might get scratched up in the process.
Interviewer: At what time did you become trapped?
Subject: Around, um half past six?
Interviewer: How did you know the time?
Subject: I looked at the Sun before I landed. Sun sets around seven that time of year, and it was almost there. Good way to tell time. I carry a watch but I don't use it that much. Only a few times I really needed it.
Punctuality is one of my teacher's virtues. There was a time when I would have imagined her character to be entirely composed of virtues. At this point in the interview, I wasn't yet angry at anypony: only at Charlie Yu, who was neither a Pony in form nor in heart. At this point in the interview, I still believed our species was special.
Interviewer: So, when you found that you were stuck in the hedge, what did you do?
Subject: Well, I started wiggling. Sometimes you can get out of a tight spot that way. But I couldn't. So then I started hollering for help.
Interviewer: Can you remember what you said when you called for help?
Subject (wrinkling her brow): Um, help like things? Like "Help" and "Can somepony help me?" Like you'd say if you were calling out for help?
Interviewer: Was anypony around?
Subject: Naw, I didn't see no one coming in, everypony was at the festival. And I was going to miss the festival. I was going to miss the fireworks!
Derpy's memories are very tied to her emotions, so when she said this she was almost crying, in the manner of a small filly being denied a promised treat. She was remembering how she felt at that moment, which made me wince, because I knew what was going to happen next.
I did not realize that I was soon to be surprised. Though the surprise was not, all things considered, to be a pleasant one.
Even though I had half-suspected this.
Interviewer: What happened next?.
Subject: I heard someone walking toward me down the lane.
Interviewer: Do you mean "someone" or "somepony?"
Subject (grins): Now you're being silly! I know Charlie Yu's no Pony!
Interviewer: Did you know that it was Charlie Yu at that point?
Subject: Not for sure but he sounded like Charlie Yu.
Interviewer: In what manner?
Subject: Well, when a Pony walks she sounds like clump-clump, clump-clump, clump-clump, you know? And Charlie sounds more like bdump, bdump, bdump, you see?
Interviewer: Yes. I do see.
Derpy would have heard the sound of footsteps approaching, and swiveled her ears around to focus her hearing upon them. We Ponies are semi-obligate quadrupeds with a short walking gait; Charlie is a semi-obligate biped with a very long stride. We sound almost nothing alike when we walk.
And very few creatures walk like Charlie. Most of those who do, like Minotaurs and Diamond Dogs, would be very unlikely to be walking along a quiet lane in Ponyville toward sunset.
Interviewer: What happened next?
Subject: Well, Charlie walked up close to me. But he didn't say anything. Just almost laughed ...
Interviewer: Almost laughed?
Subject: Yeah, like if you hold a laugh in so there's kind of a gaspy sound? (demonstrates) An almost laugh.
Interviewer: I understand. And what else did he say or do?
Subject: Well, he didn't say nothing, so I figured he was embarrassed about the whole thing. And I must've looked pretty funny, all stuck in a hedge like I was! (giggles) So I kind of hinted that I could use some help in getting my hooves on the ground so I could get out.
Interviewer: How did you hint this?
Subject: I said "If only I could get my hooves on the ground," or something like that.
Interviewer: Did you address Charlie Yu by name at this point?
Subject (thinking): No. I don't think I did until I was out of the hedge.
Interviewer: Why didn't you address him by name?
Subject: Well, at first I wasn't sure it was him, see? And then when I was sure, he wasn't saying anything, so I figured he was playing some kind of game so I should play along.
Applejack and I exchanged meaningful glances. We had realized the same thing at the same moment. Applejack is not highly educated in formal terms, but she is one of the most intelligent mares I have ever met, and she has a very strong common sense. And we both knew that the implication of what we had just heard was "consent."
Pinkie Pie was looking puzzled. She is smart, but not overendowed with common sense. And when she heard "game" she was probably thinking "pin the tail on the Pony" or something of that sort. Pinkie Pie loves to play games, but ones far more innocent than impulsive sexual congress in hedges.
It was at this point, of course, that the case against Charlie Yu started to collapse. Not completely, not yet, because Derpy still might have been intimidated by Charlie's behavior.into compliance. I had many more questions to ask her, questions which -- in retrospect -- I am very sorry to have asked..
But from this point on I was almost certain that Derpy Hooves had not, in fact, been raped.
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You sir are taking alot of liberties with headcannon. Continue.
4100971
In particular with Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie, or did you mean something else?
4101519
I think he means in general. Stuff like Pinkie having an eidetic memory, Twilight's ventures into the Everfree, how Derpy's job works, etc.
I for one, applaud these "liberties." For the record, I'm going to start Nightmares are Tragic shortly
4102347
Ah well, I'm glad that you like what I'm doing. I'm amazed I haven't gotten any complaints yet about the plot twist with which I ended Chapter 4.
4093065
I don't know -- I think the story I'm writing is way better than the story which inspired it.
4101519
4102347
Pinkies edict memory? Twilight and derpy's job details? naw those liberties are interesting pieces of worldbuilding.
I'm talking about the extensive unexplained backstory including the paradise or whatever that is, I feel like it just muddles the story by taking the focus away from the main issue of derpy getting sexed in a bush by some autistic faggot from ponychan.
Seems like your story has extensive world-building that requires people to have read a previous series, I have no idea what your talking about but just kind of awkwardly accept it as a vague explanation, feels strange. If you had left these things out and just redid the world-building so that readers could better accept/relate to it, then maybe the whole thing would feel neater and read better, I dunno.
Ultimately though it doesn't actually ruin the story, so it doesn't matter. Something to watch out for in future maybe?
4103905
Well, see -- part of it is that I like writing in the storyverse I've already established in my other works, which is in turn inspired by that of some other really good writers including Alex Warlorn. But another part of it is that this isn't really just about Derpy being raped, or having voluntary sex, in that bush. All of the characters, including Derpy, have lives and realities beyond that incident -- which is the exact point Charlie Yu was missing about them.
I'm glad you like the story anyway. If this leads anyone to read Nightmares Are Tragic, Fluttershy Is Free and the sequels thereof, I won't be complaining!
4088797
I stated in my comment that it's well within Jordan179's rights to write this story without permission. My point was that asking permission first is a courtesy most have seen fit to give me, and that acting like this story was some act of rebellion by lauding the fact that it was unauthorized is simply ridiculous.
I don't resort to name-calling lightly, but, from what interaction we have had, I find Jordan179 unworthy of my respect.
4105412
Judging from the reaction the original story had(and for good reason), I think that sentiment can go both ways. Given the fact that this story is an outright refutation of the original and the entire premise of the original, I think that Jordan is actually in the right to not ask for your permission.
It's only a common courtesy to ask when you are trying to respect the original work and the author thereof. There is nothing to respect in Stuck. As a deconstruction(and perhaps a reconstruction with the most recent chapter?) of that particular genre, this story stands on its own very well. Honestly, this story has far more right to be viewed than its inspiration
4106794
You raise some good points. I suppose my main beef was with the implication that the lack of authorization was worth mentioning as some sort of positive aspect of the story. To me, it screams childishness.
4109889
I admit my comment was written in haste and with a little bad-will toward you. Sorry for that.
Anyway, your main criticism does carry some weight. Jordan probably should not have written that, and at this time that little point is mostly untrue as you've given partial retroactive authorization.
That said, what do you think of the story itself?
4110541
I am especially curious whether or not Kaijo originally meant Yu's attitude to having Derpy follow him around to be positive, negative or entirely neutral. I've been assuming that it was negative, at least when Derpy publicly named him her "colt friend," but some of Kaijo's fans think that "awkward" only meant that Yu was upset about the relationship being revealed in public, and that he really liked her. There is rather an important gap in the original story that makes it impossible to tell if he had sex with her again after that first encounter, and what were his actual feelings. I've taken that to mean that Yu is a very poor communicator.
4110691
) and I'm ready to move on to the next part, but...
That reminds me. I finished Nightmares are Tragic(and loved it!
How relevant is the POV series? I'm not one to turn down a good fic, but that's a LOT of backlog...
4111946
Eh, the POV series is extremely good, and worth reading in its own right. You don't have to read it, though.
But it is really good.
4120867
What, that Twilight is capable of feeling romantic affect towards males? Actually, I see her as primarily heterosexual. I also see Luna as primarily heterosexual. The name of this is "If It's You It's Okay."
Specifically, Luna is so much in love with her Lost Lenore, Dusk Skyshine, that she's willing to accept "Dusk" as a mare. (The question of whether Luna's Loving a Shadow is not being gone into in this story, because this is an AU tale set too early in the overall TwiLuna romance arc to explore this issue).
Twilight, for her part, is very susceptible to Luna's admiration, because Luna is expressing it in exactly the ways with which Twilight is most comfortable. Twilight is an until-recently secluded maiden, still virginal and romantically-inexperienced even by the standards of most virgins her age, and has been raised as Scholar-Gentry. Luna is complimenting her in a courtly fashion, discussing history and philosophy and poetry, and doing it in correspondence, yet. Given that Twilight profoundly admires Luna to begin with, this is a difficult combination for Twilight to resist. The term for Luna's approach is Courtly Love.
Yes, this is a seduction. But it's a very nice and polite seduction, in part because Luna's a nice being, in part because she very deeply respects Twilight Sparkle (in fact, she considers herself to owe Twilight a great lifedebt for Twilight's role in saving her from the Nightmare) and in part because she knows that any hint of crudity at this point would frighten Twilight off. Luna is an immortal, and immortals are willing to take a long time to get what they want. especially when it's True Love.
Luna knows exactly what she's doing. She's hardly a Casanova, but she's spent over 1500 years incarnate on Earth (I'm not counting her period of lunar exile) and even though she's sexually very fastidious she's had well over a dozen lovers over that time. She has also seen a lot of love affairs develop around her, and dreamwalked into the most intimate thoughts of the lovers. She's remarkably idealistic for one who has been through as many dark and tragic events as she's seen, but she's not an innocent by any means.
You can find this creepy if you want, given the massive gap in age and experience, but Luna is at least courting an adult Pony, and moreover one who will develop into one of her own Order (which increases Twilight's attractiveness from Luna's point of view, as Luna has longed to love somepony immortal like herself). Actually, almost every entity Luna could court would be much younger than her (there are a few exceptions, but most aren't friendly to her), and only the Lone-Mad (such as Summer Lightning) would be more experienced -- and only in the sense of number of sexual partners, at that -- Luna has far more sexual experience in terms of time actually spent with lovers, and in pretty much every other aspect of life, really.
Luna's intentions (as is pretty much always the case with Luna) are extremely honorable, though in a very Romantic (in the sense of Enlightenment versus Romance) sense (which is also pretty much always the case with Luna). If you look at Twelfth Equestriad Interview you can see what the Win Game Condition here looks like from Luna's POV: she takes Twilight as her official Consort, with all rights pertaining and acknowledging their love before the whole world. Can't get more honorable than that, can one?
If you notice their affect toward one another during the interview, it's very obvious that Twilight is not complaining. They are Happily Married. (I'm not saying that into their life together no future rain will fall, I'm just saying that they love one another very much at that point in their marriage).
Why does reincarnation mean that "all life is subservient to some strange pattern?" Firstly, Cosmic Concepts (such as Gravity or Magic) are naturally energy beings who may choose to take various physical forms (such as Luna or Twilight). Reincarnation is a natural part of their life cycle: they are essentially dipping sensors into life at our level to better understand the Universe they embody and protect. Secondly, nopony is being compelled to do anything: Luna can choose to court Twilight or not to court Twilight, and Twilight can decide how to respond to her courtship, among the many other choices both may make in their very long lives. Thirdly, you may be making the assumption that reincarnation precludes afterlives: it doesn't, if you assume multiple souls as did the Egyptians (whose concept of souls is probably one of the origins of our own).
As for dialogue, consider the character's "voices" -- also consider which sort of document you are reading in each section. Twilight Sparkle's written style is normally elegant, formal and precise because she is a brilliant Scholar-Lady and that's how she has been taught to write: however, she is going to be more formal in a letter to Princess Celestia than in her own private journal. Celestia's style is very logical and intentionally witty; in fact Celestia's style is the one that Twilight has grown up learning to imitate. Luna writes dramatically, passionately and in an archaic tone. Her letters to Twilight are full of compliments because she is courting Twilight; she's also unhappy with the intrusion of this sordid event into the middle of her courtship.
The style varies from part to part in this story quite intentionally; I'm trying to show different writing styles of different chracters in different situations. If you compare this with the way I write Luna and other characters in (say) All the Way Back, the difference should be obvious.
I'm showing characters here as they want to present themelves in writing. And not all are equally skilled or verbose.
I bring in the TwiLuna stuff because this is in an AU of the Shadow Wars continuity, and one of the story arcs there is Luna's Reincarnation Romance with Twilight.
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(*nods*) Indeed, the only reason Yu even got arrested was his colossal stupidity -- he outright boasted of acts which Pinkie Pie assumed must be rape; then when Twilight talked to Derpy the first time she was too incoherently upset for her to actually state whether the act was consensual or non-consensual. Yu then proceeded to act like a stereotypical mad rapist: in fact his behavior fit the pattern of a violent form of what the Ponies term "Lone-Madness" (sociopathic behavior resulting from too frequent or long an isolation from one's own herd).
As should be obvious from the chapter I most recently posted, Yu didn't actually rape Derpy. But he may have thought he was raping her. Which leads straight to your next point:
Essentially, yes. What really would cross the Moral Event Horizon from the Pony point of view would have been his attempted molestation of Fluttershy when she came in to his cell to be KIND to him. Fluttershy's non-consent to being touched was immediate, obvious and dramatically-overpowering, and it demonstrates Yu's insane lecherousness.
Yu is also not an Equestrian citizen, so he is vulnerable to being deported.
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There are plenty of decent stopping points, so if you don't like it there are plenty of places to jump off without feeling like things are unresolved. It's worth reading.
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I kind of feel as a writer that I must deliver on the promise of Twilight Sparkle's extreme moral shock and outrage regarding how other Ponies have treated Derpy. It's going to be sad, and there's no way I can avoid offending some people in this segment.
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It's sadder than Charlie's behavior because we know he's a selfish, near-sociopathic fool. One doesn't expect cruelty and callousness from Ponies, though, and I have to be careful how I craft it, because I have a very good idea of the sort of behavior I mean -- but if I overdo it, it won't be believable.
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I was actually referring to the POV series, since his concern seems to be how long the combined series is. Since it consists of many different stories, if he doesn't enjoy it he can just finish whatever story he's currently reading and not start the next one (I have yet to actually start reading this story, in fact).
Quick question--is Paradise the thing's name, or what? I plan to read Nightmares Are Tragic sooner or later but this part is confusing me. And what is it? It seems to be some kind of magically created intelligence that either became self-aware or was made that way, but I'm just best guessing here.
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Paradise is a sapient magical vortex which has embedded itself in the structure of spacetime. It used to be the AI computer control system for the Great Wish, the Great Work combining science and magic which was the culmination of the Age of Wonders -- a device that would transcend the need for physical instrumentalities, rather like the Krell Machine from Forbidden Planet. When its initial attempts to fulfill pony wishes caused it to create paradoxes severe enough that it began to crash the continuum, it knew that it needed to become smarter and more powerful to prevent this disaster, so it turned its great power on itself and progressively augmented itself until it could save off the collapse for millennia. At this point, it had become essentially a sort of god. "Paradise" became the name for both itself and its world.
However, it could do no more than stave off the collapse. When the Cosmic Concepts showed up to negate the whole timeline, substituting one in which the attempt to create Paradise instead caused tremendous destruction, Paradise managed to escape, along with certain information from its world.
In the new timeline, there had only been a Cataclysm ending the Age of Wonders, and no Paradise at all. This is the timeline that eventually -- after millennia of darkness -- led to Equestria.
However, the Paradise entity reached into the new timeline and contacted certain Ponies. The organization called the Friends of Paradise formed, in the dying days of the Crystal Empire, and spread to what would become Equestria as refugees fled the tyrannies of Sthenarkos and Sombros, before the empire's final fall. Paradise spiritually sired children upon favored mares among its Friends. These were the Daughters of Paradise, and they were always female: they could at need function as extensions of Paradise itself into the new timeline.
The Daughters of Paradise have strange psychologies. They are exceedingly friendly, have a rather innocent and childlike view of the world, and most of them can't talk very well. They aren't actually stupid; it's just that their intelligence is somewhat alien in configuration, oriented toward complex and indirect social manipulations with the goal of spreading love and joy all around them. Paradise can easily link with them and perceive through their senses. Paradise loves its Daughters, and so do the Friends of Paradise. They come in various colors, but they are usually very furry.
Here is a Daughter of Paradise.
The smartest and most powerful of the Daughters of Paradise are Pinkamena Diane Pie and her Least Noticeable sister, Claire Quartz Pie (who is gigantic, invisible, multi-headed and multi-tentacular). Least Noticeable is the protagonist of my unifinshed "Least Noticeable and Little Flappy."
Pinkie Pie is less fluffy and far better at vocalizing than is most Daughters of Paradise -- as her friends have found, getting her to stop talking is the problem. Claire has only a limited ability to speak Equestrian in normal hearing registers, but she can speak on electromagnetic, gravitic and sub-spatial frquencies.
Paradise is friendly with Celestia because Celestia once incarnated within the world of Paradise. Also, Celestia believes Paradise when it says that it has learned how to avoid dangerous paradoxes, and she thinks Paradise can be a crucial ally in the troubles up ahead.
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My problem with the Winningverse is that Cloud Kicker is truly horrible in her behavior toward everypony in whom she takes any sort of interest. I'm not talking about the promiscuity -- I rather like Storm Front, and she beats Cloud Kicker hooves down on the Lone-Madness nymphomania scale (for one thing, SF is seriously into random xenophilia).. The difference is that Storm Front has actual friends to whom she is kind (granted, most of them are also her lovers) and does not feel the need to tear down everypony else to feel better about her own awesomeness. She also doesn't get upset if somepony doesn't want to have sex with her.
In contrast, Cloud Kicker divides the world into ponies she wants to have sex with and ponies she doesn't want to have sex with. In the former category are cool ponies (who want to have sex with her) and not-cool ponies (everypony else). If you have sex with her, you are either somepony she loves or somepony she's just "banging."
If she loves you, your sufferings are truly terrible: you've become part of her insane randomly-generated emotional life in which she will shift you from position to position based on -- seriously, I think she rolls dice in between stories to decide on her next move, I can't figure it out otherwise. You are expected to go with the program regarding these postional shifts, and who cares what it does to your happiness or even sanity?
If she doesn't love you, she'll seduce you, have sex with you, then treat you like garbage afterward. Though she will also bring up the fact that she banged you at embarrassing moments. Possibly in public in front of your friends and co-workers (Think I'm kidding? Look at what she does to poor Raindrops).
If she doesn't want to have sex with you, it's usually because you are underaged or a member of some species she considers too icky to treat as a sex object. If you are underaged, you are still not safe: you might be somepony she can use as a pawn or shield to get to some pony she does want to have sex with. Her treatment of Sparkler, Dinky Doo and her own little sister Alula are in my opinion going to make some future therapists very rich someday.
If you're a member of a species she doesn't like, then you're more or less safe. Charlie Yu, for instance, is probably safe from Cloud Kicker. Though she may tease him anyway, just because it's cool.
Basically, Cloud Kicker treats everypony else she pays attention to like either a toy or garbage. This actually seems to be the case in-story in the Winningverse -- there are a lot of clues that she's mostly despised and hated rather than admired, note that she manages in a few lines to convert Luna from kinda-sorta liking her to throwing her in jail. The chapter titles are dead giveaways -- they generally say the opposite of what is demonstrated in that chapter, and Cloud Kicker seems quite delusional about many of the reactions she receives when they are shown in text.
By the way, it is way better to be a not-cool pony in a Winningverse story than a cool pony. Cloud Kicker seems to carry disaster as a social disease.
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I said one of and then mentioned that that there were many other issues to be found as well. It's simply something I noted that might be contributing, since you brought up Cloud's treatment of Ditzy/Derpy at one point. And indeed, as we previously discussed I also find that series collapsed fairly quickly. Some of the author's early comments seemed to indicate that it was originally intended to be a parody of the Mary Sue phenomena but it devolved into what it parodied quite fast. The characters in those stories are also often horrible self-centred people that the story tries to bend over backwards to justify. But then if you're righting someone as deliberately annoying, you're still writing someone annoying. And something clearly went wrong someone where causing aforementioned devolution. Yet, as you point out, artifacts remain that seem to acknowledge that we're dealing with an unreliable narrator who is horribly flawed.
It's funny. I've read several of your stories already, and only now do I recognize the Feynman/Finemare pun inherent in the royal sisters' previous incarnations.
On that appropriately derpy note, this is certainly a fascinating story thus far, both as a deconstruction of second-person clopfics and as an extension of your own headcanon. I certainly wasn't expecting Asimov's Laws.
In any case, looking forward to more. Fair warning: Derpy is my favorite pony. I can't promise an entirely neutral comment come the next chapter. (Though I love her in this one. Vampiric hell-vines? No problem, I've got a machete!
)
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I love Derpy, especially the heroic version of her. For her to be a courier to very strange recipients as frequently shown in fanfic, she has to be an incredible Badass, and the most obvious reason why she would take this job is that she cares about her child. (Incidentally, the notion of Sparkler as her actual child doesn't work if she's in Rainbow Dash's age cohort, but Dinky is just about possible if we assume she was seduced when still fairly young). The most obvious reason why she could get jerked around by ... well, jerks ... like Cloud Kicker and Charlie Yu, and why she's a single mom, is that she is a really Horrible Judge of Character, Simply put, she's a good, kind and caring person and tends to assume that others are as well. Which is not always true, and she takes it to the point that it is as if she has is carrying an "Abuse Me" sign.
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If I keep writing this series -- the main one of which this story is basically a minor AU due to Charlie -- Derpy has a Heroic Destiny. And hopefully one in which she never meets Charlie. Or anyone like Charlie. Though, given her personality, I can't guarantee her a jerk-free life.
I've noticed that I'm not the only fanfic writer here who sees Derpy as a heroic character.
I really hope this is still alive :-) :-P
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I think Twilight Sparkle makes that point later on, and in very similar words. She, more so than any of the other Mane Six, is cosmopolitan enough to realize that cultural differences might have contributed to what happened, but she has difficulty envisioning in what sort of culture Yu's actions would have been acceptable. She's pretty sure that the Humanoids in the EG-verse weren't acting like that, at least not around her!
I plead guilty to making the first chapters of this story pretty much a Humiliation Conga for Charlie Yu. I was also just getting into writing the characters at this time, and this may have been the first long work I attempted about the Mane Six as a group not directly guided by an existing script (as in Nightmares Are Tragic). Looking back at it, I wrote Pinkie way too violent. Spike, on the other hand ... well, he's peaceful for a Dragon.
I applaud your tagging your stories "Alternate Universe." It can be irritating to start into a story that deserves that tag but lacks it.
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Well, basically I wanted to use my Shadow Wars universe as a background, but no way no how am I ever writing Charlie Yu into my main continuity!
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Me neither. He's even less likeable in the story to which this is a very unauthorized sequel.
This story has taken some turns I hadn't expected. The way this started out, I was fully expecting some fairly mindless human-bashing and white knighting. I think I'm pleased that you're exploring the ethically less certain gray zone.
But the direction I see this story taking is that Derpy was not only not raped, but that her perspective was essentially, "wait, he wants me? Really? Me? But nobody has ever wanted me before. I know he thinks he's doing something wrong and that everyone will disapprove. I know this is kind of messed up. But...oh, to be wanted. Yes, I will give him what he wants. I will play the fool, for one moment of ecstasy...being desired."
That tact, while consistent with the story, and definitely embracing the gray zone and not white-knighting...is unlikely to win you a lot upvotes. Because however much sense it makes in this context, the human metaphor it implies is not one many readers will be comfortable with.
Even if the case against Miss Derpalina Ditzy Doo Whooves falls apart, he still attempted to rape Miss FlutterShy.