Somehow, I've always known.

Cover artwork courtesy of Cloud-Drawings on DeviantArt.

My entry for the Dialogue-Only Contest!

Equestria is an old nation, and one that has had the luxury of the same, immortal, regime for centuries. While this has given them unprecedent stability, especially in a land that seeks to throw a world-ending threat at them every other Tuesday, it does come with a tendency for the rulers to not so much repeal laws as just ignore them and act as if they've been done away with already.

Most of the time, this works out just fine. Until another immortal--such as, say, a starving royal changeling looking for somepony to help her regain her strength--remembers these laws and invokes them to use to their own advantage. By arriving at Twilight Sparkle's castle and declaring herself a member of Twilight's royal harem.

And she's just the first.

Written on commission, for Spamotron, with money sent to a GoFundMe. If you'd like to commission me yourself, my rules are right here.
Also check out author Patreon and Ko-Fi.

Twenty years. Twenty years spent sitting on a stone plinth, with birds getting absolutely everywhere. That kind of experience can change a pony, or a changeling. As long as she stays ahead of the newspapers and mail service, that story might even hold up.

A story about grudges, love, and the power of unremitting hatred.

No particular reason for the T rating, just covering my bases with how much Chrysalis teases ponies.

Special thanks to everyone who reads my works, follows me, or just happens to look at this -- you deserve to be happy too buddy, just like all our little buggy friends and even Chrysalis herself.

Written as my entry in FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns II contest.

ShadowLegacy13 did a read of this story on youtube that you can find here

Spotify alternate link.

Twilight has had a long reign. She has watched ponies develop technologies that those of the past considered mere mythology. She has watched them scour the world and discover continents that were hidden from view or simply lost beneath the waves. Many creatures and tribes of ponies have come and gone, and the sea of stars is where they went last.

The alicorn accompanied them and acted as a figurehead and council before retreating back to Equestria. Now she is crumbling apart in the final years of her life as her magic consumes her body and the ponies are on the verge of dying out. As she watches the sky, engulfed by a black hole crowned in light, Twilight is approached by a still young mare, unfortunately born in an age where she will be all that's left of her people in just a few years.

She asks Twilight a question not about herself or her future, but about the alicorn herself: How does a god die?

Hover over the image to find the source.

About 15 years after Twilight takes over as Ruler of Equestria...five immortal alicorn princesses sit around a table in a retirement village and eat cake.

(Okay, maybe Celestia is eating most of the cake.)

Cover art credit

Rated T for a LOT of innuendo/sexual dialog. You have been warned.
Flurry Heart is a teenager in this story.
This is NOT canon to my other princess stories, A mane fit for a princess and Twilight Sparkle orders hayburger delivery

Featured 5/18, 5/19, 5/20/20...
EDIT: Featured at #1 on 5/18/20...! Thanks so much you guys!

Twilight Sparkle is an addict. But in the wake of scrupulous crack-downs and bans, she has to turn to unsavory sources to get her fix. It’s fine. Just this once. After that, she’ll be done.

The pony that came back after 1000 years of exile to the moon was not the pony that Celestia expected. Instead of the menacing figure of Nightmare Moon what she instead got was a madly cackling alicorn rolling in a grassy field occasionally taking a break to stroke the lush green plants as if they were the most fascinating thing in the world.

While this was certainly better than the alternative Celestia was a bit miffed that her sister had not even acknowledged her presence before going to play in the grass. How could grass be more interesting than her?

Twilight Sparkle: "Pinkie Pie, could you please stop trying to eat me?"

This story is pretty wholesome and suitable for everyone, despite the potentially contentious subject matter. Bon Appetit!

Feat 29-30 March. Pretty good.

Twilight Sparkle and her assistant Spike. Two names that cause Canterlot Castle to shake. Between her bizarre experiments and excentric personality, the unicorn becomes an extreme annoyance to everypony, especially when she starts fixating on a 'Nightmare Moon'. Spike is also a nuisance, often stuffing his face with random things and causing explosions randomly.

Exhausted with the chaos they keep causing, Celestia sends Twilight and Spike to Ponyville at the onset of the Summer Sun Celebration, hoping that the calmer environment will help them calm down and make friends.

It has the reverse effect.

In this story Twilight acts like Invader Zim and Spike like Gir.

Pic source available when you hover over the image.

Princess Flurry's dates are not up to Imperial standards.

With thanks to various Discords for brainstorming and Samey90 and RDT for pre-reading.