Princess Twilight Sparkle Versus The Royal Harem Decree

by SilverNotes


Storge

"You have to understand, Twilight. It was a different time..."

Twilight had been invited to Canterlot to speak in-pony with both sisters about the issue, and they'd forgone the throne room for somewhere a bit more private, namely Celestia's personal study. It was a tight fit with three alicorns, Luna having dragged in the star-studded cushion from her own study to sit on and Twilight making do with the plush, sun-emblazoned rug. There had been some humming and hawing before the elder sister had finally spoken, and while her voice was gentle as she did so, it wasn't remotely comforting.

"No no no no no! You can't... you can't be serious." She shook her head rapidly, as if to remove the idea of her longtime mentor with a harem from her grey matter with the force of the motion. "This has to be a prank. Or dream. Or a prank in a dream. There can't really be a law like that."

"Calm yourself, Princess Twilight Sparkle." Princess Luna's voice was cool and steady. "As my sister was beginning to explain, our country had a period of what, I believe in the modern parlance, would be called 'growing pains.'" She started to gesture slightly with her wings as she spoke. "The unicorns, pegasi, and earth ponies had different power structures, laws, cultural practices, and taboos, and the process of Unification had turned it all into a net of criss-crossing ideals that could ensnare many unfortunate ponies, and other creatures who called our land home, within it as if t'were a net."

Celestia nodded. "When we came into power, things were still a mess, if not more so thanks to Discord having previously seized control of the land." She sighed. "Trying to change things all at once would be a level of upheaval that nopony would accept, especially when they were trying to find some stable normalcy in the wake of his chaotic rule, and so we found a way that we could help our subjects in the meanwhile."

The oldest mare in the world had a far-off look in her eye, as if her mind were back in that ancient time when she was young and everything was so unstable. "Under the pretext of wanting some stress relief as repayment for our duty of raising the sun and moon, we essentially opened the palace doors to any creature in need. They would have a roof over their head, food to eat, forgiveness of debts or crimes, and would have the protection of the royal guard."

Twilight tilted her head slightly as she rolled the words around, realization dawning. "So it was... a social safety net?"

"It was the first social safety net Equestria ever had," Celestia confirmed. "So you see, none of it was ever about sex--"

"Ahem." Both turned to look at Luna, who was smirking. "I do recall many a night, when I left my quarters to begin my night's duties, finding you aggressively removing a stallion from your quarters who had snuck in with intent to seduce--"

Celestia coughed, her snow white fur doing nothing to hide the rising blush beneath. "Yes, well, it was a different time and ponies didn't realize yet we were immortal. They thought if they sired a foal with one of us, that foal could end up on the throne."

"Which does not explain the crying pegasus mare you once had trapped in a magic bubble, who was begging to be able to 'worship the sun' as you placed her outside the door and then locked yourself inside to get away from her."

"There may have been a few creatures who misunderstood the intent." When Luna opened her mouth to speak again, a great white wing opened and shoved her, silencing the next embarrassing interjection. "But many more came to us looking for sanctuary, and received it. Chrysalis would know that old context, and if she's truly so desperate to survive that she'd consider asking for charity, she may have thought it was the best, and perhaps only, way to get help."

"So take heart, Princess Twilight Sparkle," Luna said with a grin and far too cheery a tone. "There is only a... shall we say ten percent? Only a ten percent chance that Chrysalis has developed a sudden twisted infatuation with you. Fortune much more greatly favours her offering herself to you out of desperation!"

Twilight's eye twitched, and a few strands of her mane began to fray.

"I'm going to go get a second opinion."


"You're sure? You're absolutely, positively, completely sure?"

"It's a miracle she's not dead, really," Pharynx said as he sat less-than-comfortably in Pinkie Pie's crystal throne. The map shone in the centre of the room as always, dormant. "Though we could fix that if you want."

"Pharynx!" Thorax was all the more uncomfortably squeezed into Rarity's seat, and looked scandalized by the suggestion. He shook his head and focused on Twilight again. "What we're saying is, there's a level of self-neglect that a changeling can't hide. Or fake. She's not just been starving, she hasn't been able to take care of herself at all. It's surprising she was able to stand or walk, but that's probably royal resilience. An ordinary changeling would be bedridden."

"So... she really is desperate." Despite herself, Twilight felt a pang of sympathy. "Is there anything I can do for her?"

Thorax hummed in thought. "Well, she'll need love, obviously--"

Pharynx snorted. "She's not getting any of mine. She tried to bite me when we were checking her teeth."

Thorax ignored him. "And she's wasted away enough that physical food would help her too. Lots of protein especially. Things like lentils, beans, peas, brussel sprouts..."

"Raw meat." Pharynx snorted a bit when Twilight stared at him. "What? It's the easiest way, plus she'll need the iron too. Did you think the old fangs were for show?" He rolled his eyes. "Ponies."

"Moving on." She'd already had plenty of new, unwanted information making itself at home in her brain, so that tidbit would have to get in line for processing. "Other than her diet, is there anything else?"

"A lot of rest and keeping her out of the elements, mostly." Thorax paused to think, then added, "Light exercise to help her build back some muscle, like walking around town, but nothing too strenuous."

"Casual walks around a town that's terrified of her." Her eye's twitch was making a comeback. "Great."

"Killing her is still on the table." Pharynx grinned, and his teeth looked pointier than a reformed changeling's should have been as his eyes shone with glee. "We're not Equestrian. You're not assassinating her if we do it."

"Pharynx..." Thorax sighed in exasperation, and slowly got up, stretching the kinks out of his spine from sitting in the crystal chair for too long. "We should get back to the hive, but if you need us for anything else, just send another letter."

Twilight nodded, attempting a friendly smile. "Thank you, I will."

As she watched them leave, the sympathy that had taken root started to bloom. One of her enemies had asked her for help, if in an... unorthodox way. And with how arrogant Chrysalis was, it must have taken a lot to admit to herself that she needed that help. Even without an old law mandating she take her in, her conscience wouldn't have let her turn away someone in such a state.

Maybe some hospitality and genuine care for her wellbeing from another creature would be the thing to help Chrysalis turn things around and rejoin the rest of her people. Twilight could only hope.


It'd taken a while to get herself back into the correct mindset for paperwork. After Thorax and Pharynx had left, she'd placed Spike in charge of making sure that Chrysalis got settled in. She normally would have asked Starlight to, but that felt like rubbing salt in a wound right now. Giving Starlight a chance to try befriending Chrysalis would have to wait until her rehabilitation was a little further along.

Thorax had siphoned off some love energy--being the beloved ruler of his kingdom meant that he was never short of it--and left it for Chrysalis to consume and get some of her strength back. She'd also been offered a shower, and Spike had been instructed to let her use any grooming products she wanted. She'd then been set up in one of the castle's many spare rooms, with one of Twilight's spare sets of blankets.

Twilight Sparkle had also taken some time to refresh the security spells she'd placed on the castle, and added a few new ones; if it came down to it, she could lock the castle down better than any prison short of Tartarus. It would be more so if she were permitted to borrow Cerberus, but after Tirek's escape, any request that involved the guard dog leaving his post was likely to get back a letter consisting only of NO!

It was deep into the night by the time that Twilight trudged her way to her bedroom, pushing the door with her shoulder instead of bothering to light her horn. So fatigued she was, it took several steps into the room before she realized something was wrong.

Rather than her empty bed, waiting for her to collapse into it, it was occupied, with Chrysalis stretched across it. Well, "stretched across" implied that she had room to stretch. The mattress was a bit short for her, and so her back legs hung over the end of it as she laid there, carapace freshly polished and smelling of lavender-scented soap. "Ah, there you are. I was starting to think you'd be up all night."

"Chrysalis." It'd been a long day, and the source of it was standing in the way of a night's rest. Any chance of her sympathy for the former queen dulling her annoyance had passed at least two hours ago. "Why. Are you. In my bed?"

She laughed. "Oh come now." She struck what she must have thought was an alluring pose. "Just because you were mentored by the Princess of Chastity, you can't be so niave that you don't know what 'harem mare' means."

"I know that you know that's just a preten--"

Her protest was cut off by green fire, and the black shell was replaced by soft purple fur. Chrysalis continued to speak as if Twilight hadn't, in an eerie mimicry of Starlight Glimmer's voice. "Besides, I can be anything you could want. Many ponies would kill for the opportunity."

The eye twitch was back with a vengeance. "Chrysalis, stop looking like my friendship apprentice right this second. It's weird."

Chrysalis sniffed, examining one of her hooves. "Hm? Not her? I guess you have a little more taste than I thought, then." There was another flash of fire, and her pelt was now white, with mane of a deeper purple, and Rarity's voice flowed from her lips. "Maybe you prefer a little more refinement?"

"That's not--!"

"Or..." Butter yellow replaced white, and wings spread wide, Fluttershy's soft voice jarringly discordant with the flirtatious tone. "You're more interested in mares with feathers?" Next came blue, Chrysalis's devious smirk looking close enough to at home at Rainbow Dash's snout that it only made it more disturbing. "Or more athletic physiques?" Wings burned away in the flame as orange followed, and in a bid to keep her sanity, Twilight distantly wondered how the mimicry had managed to include Applejack's hat. "Some extra strength?" Then the hat was gone again, in the wake of the bright pink, curly mane. "Or..." Chrysalis faltered, looking down at her Pinkie Pie disguise. "Well, I'm sure she's somepony's type."

Twilight's mane was fraying in record time. "Stop turning into my friends!"

Chrysalis sniffed. "You're a tough nut to crack, Princess. But maybe..." The shape of Pinkie Pie was shed, but in its place came a starry night, and the next words almost sounded at home in Princess Luna's voice. "Is it the gratitude of your fellow royalty you desire? The dark mare who owes you her life, repaid in carnal pleasures?"

Words failed her. The twitching from her eye was spreading through her face, and her brain felt like it was trying to make an escape through her ear.

"Or even..." The younger sister vanished, and the elder took her place, the eyes of Twilight's mentor gleaming with indescribable promises. "If the teacher is uninterested in her student, maybe it's because she prefers to be the student pursuing the teacher?"

Twilight couldn't remember what had happened in the next few moments. All she could recall with any clarity was that Chrysalis's Celestia disguise shattered on contact with the hallway floor, and could infer from her own horn being lit with magic that she'd been the one to her throw her out of the room.

She slammed the door and leaned against it, catching her breath, until there was a firm knock. Thankfully the voice that called through was Chrysalis's natural one. "You can't just deny me your love, Princess. That's deliberately starving your--"

Twilight opened the door, lit her horn, and fired a beam of pure pink magic toward the surprised face that greeted her.

She wasn't as good with love magic as Cadence, and never would be, but just like with Rarity's gem spell, Twilight had the ability to copy some of what she could do. It was essentially a low-power version of the shield that had expelled Chrysalis and her army from Canterlot, that Cadence had fine-tuned during Thorax's stay in the Crystal Empire to allow for efficiently sharing her love. So Twilight focused on her family and friends, and the love she had for them leaped from heart to horn. Then, once the spell was complete, she slammed the door shut again.

As she dragged herself toward her bed and right before she collapsed onto the pillow, she could hear a muffled and dazed, "Did the earth move for you too...?" from the other side of the door, followed by a thud.

She was almost positive she'd set the spell to "give" instead of "bludgeon."

After trying and failing to raise her aching head, she decided that double-checking would be a tomorrow Twilight problem, and fell asleep.