• Member Since 2nd Feb, 2015

HoneyBadgerr


HoneyBadger dont care. HoneyBadger dont give a... you know.

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Found 243 stories in 72ms

Total Words: 26,831,030
Estimated Reading: 10 weeks

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T

Chrysalis might be one of the most evil, vile, and dastardly villains that Equestria has ever known. She might have been responsible for nearly destroying the world more than once, she might even be a soul-sicking, shapeshifting monster, but she is still a mare.

She had never been given a genuine, honest compliment from someone that wasn't under threat or stuffed into a feeding pod or mind controlled. Today that is going to change.

Cadence really hasn't happy about the whole thing.



Artist is llamacheesecake

Chapters (1)
T
Source

Anon takes over Spike’s job of transcribing Twilight’s friendship reports. He does exactly what you’d expect.


Companion fic containing Celestia’s replies up to Letter 120 - To: Anon, From HRH Sunbutt written by Snow

Chapters (190)
E
Source

Anon is too cheap to spring for a golden apple, so he settles for a cardboard box. Didn't start any wars, accidentally a job, 9/10 would recommend.
(RGRE)
{This story has two versions, the last chapter is the first person version.}

Chapters (2)
T

Twenty years. Twenty years spent sitting on a stone plinth, with birds getting absolutely everywhere. That kind of experience can change a pony, or a changeling. As long as she stays ahead of the newspapers and mail service, that story might even hold up.

A story about grudges, love, and the power of unremitting hatred.


No particular reason for the T rating, just covering my bases with how much Chrysalis teases ponies.

Special thanks to everyone who reads my works, follows me, or just happens to look at this -- you deserve to be happy too buddy, just like all our little buggy friends and even Chrysalis herself.

Written as my entry in FanOfMostEverything's Imposing Sovereigns II contest.

Chapters (1)
T
Source

This story is a sequel to Dear Princess Sunbutt


When Anon takes the liberty to inject his particular brand of humor into Twilight's friendship lessons, Celestia feels the need to respond, more often than not.

A somewhat unofficial sisterfic to 2Merr's Dear Princess Sunbutt

There may not be a response to every letter, and letters 1-11 were taken from my comments in said sister-story.

Please support 2Merr's story too if you like this one. This is written with encouragement of the original author.

(Note: Picture used without permission from Derpibooru. Upon request it will be promptly removed.)

EDIT: Apparently someone's done a reading of this and its sisterfic over on Youtube! Why does nopony tell me these things.

Chapters (154)
T

This story is a sequel to The Garden of Ideology


Nut, an unflappably polite young professional, is joined by Potato Blossom, his ward and pupil. Together, they have returned to Vanhoover, the place where Nut calls home. The city is a strange place for Potato Blossom, a filly shunned by her isolated, insular community.

Though he is an evolutionary biologist, or desires to be, Nut is charged by his professors to document Potato Blossom's integration into complex society. She becomes his project for university, a project that will have far-reaching influences upon his academic and scholarly future.

Plucked off of the farm, Potato Blossom must adapt, overcome, thrive, and survive in a city utterly hostile to her needs, wants, and desires. Vanhoover is cold, in both the literal and figurative sense, indifferent, and it seems as though the rains never cease.

Potato Blossom's survival means Nut's evolution into something greater... but what, exactly?

A tale sprouted in the Weedverse.

Chapters (28)
T

When Nightmare Moon’s rebellion tore across Equestria, leaving a trail of blood and horror in its wake, Princess Celestia knew that merely banishing her sister wouldn’t be enough. Her army was too powerful, and too bloodthirsty, to be left behind without a leader. When she finally turned the Elements of Harmony against her, she didn’t just banish Nightmare Moon. She banished thousands.

Now they’re in a race against time, to find a way to survive in an environment so alien that every aspect of it is trying to kill them. They face suffocation, freezing, boiling, starvation, radiation, meteorite impacts, low gravity… the list goes on.

Nightmare Moon thought she should be the ruler of all Equestria. Now, in a world nopony was ever meant to survive, her abilities will be put to the ultimate test.

This story now has a hardcover! If you'd like one of your own, you can grab it here: https://starscribe.net/


Editing by the indulgent and patient Two Bit and Sparktail. Coverart by Zutcha.

Note: I intend this story to be as faithful to our current scientific understanding of the moon, and I’ve consulted for help with the aspects outside my technical purview. That said, I fully expect to make decisions that some may see as mistakes, based on their own independent interpretations.

I am a storyteller first, and I realize it’s likely I’ll eventually make a mistake, or an arbitrary decision to simplify the storytelling over accuracy. I’m doing my best here, but this isn’t a NASA white paper. Set your expectations accordingly.

This story was commissioned by Canary in the Coal Mine on my Patreon, feel free to contact me if you’d like one of your own!

Chapters (66)
T
Source

This story is a sequel to Duties


Sometimes everything goes smoothly. Most of the time there are complications, especially when it comes to royal weddings.

Blank Page and Princess Luna's wedding is getting closer and with it comes trouble and it has brought it's friends.

Nothing is ever easy, is it?


Betaing by Fan4tic
Cover art by Sipioc

Chapters (61)
T
Source

Given a unique perspective on negative emotion, less than a foal's knowledge of ordinary magic, a healthy schadenfreude, and danger bearing down on all sides, the self-proclaimed "Weiss Noir" makes no plans accounting for his death, and plans to keep it that way, even after being torn away from earth, turned into a unicorn, and dumped into one of the most inhospitable locations and times in all of Equestria.

Stranded in the Frozen North, a place where biting cold ends lives, and one thousand years in the past, in a time when peril is the norm, rather than the exception, Weiss decides to indulge in sorcery most foul, stolen ideas, and human ingenuity to survive.

Given the choice between a mad slaver and a mad sage, however, there is no avoiding an inevitable tide of ponies escaping the conquered Crystal Empire to bask in the warmth of his well-stoked hate. Something which draws attention, enemies, and most worryingly, the rivalry of his "peers".

Join the Discord for free Discussion!

Chapters (160)
T
Source

Clover the Clever never asked for his life to get so complicated.  It was bad enough tricking a drunk Imperatrix Celestia, war goddess of the Three Tribes, out of her accidental coup against Queen Platinum.  But now the most dangerous pony in Equestria has returned to trade her claim on the sun for a chance to woo him.

On top of that, his erstwhile mentor Star Swirl the Bearded has saddled him with a mysterious magical necklace and a uniquely bleak and pointless prophecy: If he's brave enough, and if he's clever enough, he just might survive Celestia for long enough to break her heart.


Now with an audio reading by ScarlettBlade!

Recommended by PresentPerfect! "horizon gave me the story I needed rather than the one I wanted ... along the way we get some very strong lessons about love, and meditations on the value of a lifetime and what one pony can achieve on their own."

Featured on Equestria Daily!

First place, "Out of Time" Writeoff! (11/2015) At long last, expanded to novella size! The world-spanning, centuries-spanning romance as it was always meant to be told!

PRAISE FOR THE WRITEOFF VERSION:
"One of my favorite depictions of Celestia in a long time." –billymorph
"To the top of the ballot with it." –AugieDog
"There’s going to be a lot of tears shed when this one hits publish." –Georg
"You need to read Time Enough For Love. I literally swore out loud when my computer crashed when I was halfway through, and then I immediately whipped out my smartphone to finish it. And now I'm reading it again in a desperate attempt to figure out how it does its job so damn well." –Bachiavellian
"I can get behind some historical revisionism for such a brilliant story. The writing is second-to-none … I laughed, I cried, and I felt other things too." –Trick Question

Cover art by Nadnerb.

Chapters (12)