Dear Princess Machine Gun Celly,
Today I failed to learn that being “technically right” isn’t as important as not being a cunt.
The anonymous (ha) tip about the unicorn mafia in horse Detroit has proven correct. Their stash of gold has been located in an abandoned recycling plant.* This was accomplished by all of us working as a team, and by that I mean it was 10% Anon with his incomprehensibly large brain, and 90% black magic from Al Caponk. I sat on the sidelines the entire time making useless plans instead of helping, but I'm still going to take credit.
Our team, excluding everyone who wasn't Perky Poof, discovered as a group that a small section of one of the walls was made of a different material. It looked identical to the surrounding wall, being completely flush with no visible cracks, and it was distinctly unenchanted so it was invisible to magic detection spells. I made the small-brain assumption that it was designed so only a unicorn who knew it was there could open it. Anon shut me the fuck up by opening it with a plunger. No one knows why Pink Floyd had a plunger with her, but we're all jaded enough to not think too hard about it.
Anon spent the next few minutes rubbing it in my face about how wrong I was, which he had every right to do since it was undeniable how wrong I was. However, I couldn't sit there and take my comeuppance like a civilized individual. No, I had the uncontrollable urge to sperg out about my exact wording. I said it had been "designed" so that only a unicorn could open it, not that it couldn't ever be opened by a non-unicorn. If I had stopped there, we could have all gone home knowing I was simply wrong. Instead, I kept everyone awake on the train ride home so I could explain the same purple logic over and over again. Blue's Clues eventually snapped and told me I was the only one who cared, and everyone else agreed. I am now pretending to have learned not to let little things bother me, but we all know that just isn't true.
Your sorest loser,
Purplo Escobar* Even in the world of rainbows and magic, it's comforting to know that Detroit is still a shithole.
The lack of culture in this world is astonishing. None of Ponyland's gangsters are noteworthy. How can you have a normal society without famous criminals to look up to? And you guys don't even have The Dark Side of the Moon, which is a crime in and of itself. You probably think I'm talking about the actual Moon, don't you? That's so sad.
Earth: a lot | Ponyland: less than a lotLove, Anon
I wonder what Luna would have said before hearing Anon's little clarification. [insert STILL needed Luna emoji]
10222341
Yeah, they really need to update more emojis cause personally, they're pretty lackluster.
Aside from pixie dust, what "obvious" illegal drugs would a Sugarbowl Fantasy Land like Equestria have..? >.>
Oof. Savage
Bro, I can’t with these names 😂
Al Caponk is best Ponk. I need stories/fanart of crime lord Ponk.
10222397
Magic mushrooms, 'brown suger', angel’s trumpets. Although not all illegal on earth could it be different in the more nature oriented Ponyland
10222382
The pony emojis are old.
10222341
She'd have probably instinctively tried to catch a look at her own asshole in the mirror. Not that I can blame her; I instinctively look at her ass all the time.
10222397
Salt licks
10222900
So.. where the sun don't shine?
10223098
Unless you're Celestia.
Being technically correct is okay as long as you're not a cunt or purple.
Message received.
10223070
Vibrant lies, was that a lie?
10222625
I recall a story saying that brown sugar used to be so hard-to-get for the middle class in America (dunno when, 70's? 50's? eariler?) that there were sports competitions (or maybe just jogging?) organized for housewives where brown sugar was the main reward, and a good motivator.
First initial browsing of the web turned up nothing. I wonder if I'll find it again.
10223303
I meant brown sugar as: the ponyland appropriate slang name for heroin.
I can see even less purple instances of Twilight needing to learn this particular lesson. Also, I love the Anon-Pinkie synergy. I can't help but imagine him handling it like dramatic surgery.
"Scalpel." "Scalpel!"
"Plunger." "Plunger!"
"Muffin." "Muffin!"
"What's the muffin for?"
"Celebrating how right I am."
10222341
"Its name was Nightmare Moon, and the realm is better for its loss."
10222397
One word: Locoweed. Tasty and brain-damaging!
10222975
It's already been done, and it's end-digit doesn't exist. It's one of those looping-patterns. Here:
https://www.energy.gov/articles/supercomputers-crack-sixty-trillionth-binary-digit-pi-squared
I would say it's fascinating, but I'm not a math nut, so instead I'll say:
Sure you've got bragging rights, but other than that what have you accomplished?
Amazing.
10223299
.......no
10223408
ADVERT:
"Wanna loco for your coco? Try locoweed!"
10223709
...
.........
...........................
...was that a lie?
10223945
....................................Taco
machine gun kelly's music now is kinda cool tbh. he sings well
10224537
I’m talking about the OG https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Machine_Gun_Kelly
10224546
Shouldn't that work better as "Detrot"? Then Anon's reference to "Detroit" would actually sound like a joke.
They also don't have Queen, or any notable music apart from pop. I don't think they even understand the crime they're guilty of. ;]
10225038
He adds “horse” in front of cities with Earth equivalents. He also calls Las Pegasus horse Vegas.
Comforting...
10222625
Scumble. It's made from apples.
Well. Mainly apples.
10225038
Contrary to Detroit, Detrot is not a shithole