Dear Princess Third-degree Buns,
Today I learned that it’s better to ask for consent when taking things from others. If the answer is yes, everything is k. If the answer is no, I will likely take what I want anyway, but at least I asked first.
Yesterday I was dealing with a material that I refuse to disclose to Anon or Spike, meaning it's definitely 100% legal. This material is "sensitive to magic" (read: highly explosive), so I had to actually use my body instead of my horn to complete a physical task for once. In order to do this with any degree of dexterity, I was forced to once again acknowledge that humans are better than crayon horses. My hooves are impractical and dumb, not to mention you-know-what, so I didn’t bother using them. Instead, I took measurements of one of Anon’s strong, handsome arms while he slept.
Using this data, I molded my excess flesh into an arm. Just one. It grew out of my neck, right above the clavicle. I couldn't make it as handsome as Anon’s because you can't replicate perfection. I had also forgotten to give it bones, meaning it wasn't as useful as it could be. Growing new bones would take hours, and I didn't feel like waiting, so I just took Anon’s while he slept.
By the time I was finished touching the totally not illegal stuff, it was already morning. Anon woke up and immediately realized his butt-scratching arm was limp. When he found me in the basement, he laughed at how stupid I looked, then gave me a good talking to. He didn't mind that I took his arm bones, but he was very disappointed in me for assuming he wouldn't help if I asked. He said he would forgive me if I grew him some new bones and bought him a top hat. I did just that, and now everything is k.
Your literal middle finger to nature,
Twigh Five
I know this has been said a thousand time before, but,
wtf Twilight?
I'm going to very carefully not think about this.
Anon's crazy is probably on-par with Twilight's, that's how his tolerance of her is so high.
Never change, Purple Horse. Never change
10207687
If you have to ask then you haven't got enough Purple in your life
Purple
10207702
Shhh! She's sensitive about it!
She was already plenty dangerous...
Now she's armed.
10207710
booooooo
I've heard about having a bone to pick with someone but this is just ridiculous!
10207711
well you cant say this story wasn't Humerus
Geepers. A Harry Potter moment for you there.
I honestly shouldn’t be surprised.
Anon appears to be growing as jaded in his heart as he is in his skin. That's probably not a good thing; the world's continued... well, continuance relies upon his confusion & anger at the events in his everyday life.
C'mon, we give Twiggles so much grief. We need to throw her a bone at least once in a while.
I see nothing wrong with this, but then, I see nothing wrong with the Sharktocrab.
Okay, stealing a man's bones is wrong, but growing new, better limbs is just practical.
Anon needs to be very careful to explain human sayings as precisely as possible from now on. Honestly, Purple Smart, I get it, you're Purple. It's something you have to live with. But really, none of the above are acceptable solutions to the conundrum of needing a hand!
Twilight went a bit far this time I think she just needs to palm down
...WTFH, Purple Smart!?
What, like virginity?
Ah, twilight.
It's a pity the responses from Celestia had to close. I'd offer to continue it, since it did make it even funner.
Anon got a pretty good deal imo. That arm is now reset to arthritis or gout buildup!
I was going to make some remark about Anon's priorities, but then I realized that I actually kind of agree with this.
Must be all the TF2.
10206954
Oh ok thanks!
10207956
Please do.
Hopefully she doesn't try to get an five finger discount...
10207691
Congratulations, you are now envisioning Twilight with a floppy purple arm extending from her neck. Have fun sleeping tonight.
10207710
I laughed so hard it ended in coughing. It's not often that happens. Have a fluffy Twilight: derpicdn.net/img/2013/2/6/235460/full.png
Is Twiggles off her meds again?
10207711
Talk about knuckling down!
Is there anyone out there that can continue Celestia's replies?
Anyone?
...anyone?
At least now she can give a high five.
She's starting to become just a little disturbing
Just a little.
10230877
Starting?!?
To my most faithful student, Twilight Sparkle,
Politeness goes a long way, and asking for consent and permission is one of them. While I applaud you for learning such a fact, it will be prudent for you to kep in mind that asking for permission should be the very first thing you do before using somepony's, or in this case someone's, property. Even if they will most assuredly let you use them, and even if they say that you need not ask for permission.
Whatever you do, ask for permission.
And I implore you to remember that.
PleaseYour loving mentor,
Princess Celestia.