Dear Princess Cushy Tush,
Queen Succubug is on my couch right now. She and three other changelings showed up at the library about an hour ago in full buggo mode—no disguises, no spells (I checked). They simply knocked on the door in broad daylight. If this were any other place but Ponyville, there would have been mass panic, but the general populace here just kinda goes along with anything.
Chryssi apparently heard about the Not-Gun of Fixiness from Juan, so she came to see if it actually works. I told her the
victimtargetsubject had to be willing in order for it to work, otherwise they get a new hole. After some convincing from myself and Stupid, I shot one of the dudes and he turned into a winner. Like winners do, he ate some pizza, showing all the same responses I noted from Juan.Chrys Chan started questioning Stupid about the changes. When he confirmed his lack of a craving for love, she got very concerned. She’s worried that if I go school shooter on a willing hive, they’ll starve to death because of the culture shock. They don’t have the means or widespread knowledge for gathering and storing food, and they would have no appetite for their primary food source anymore. She wants to have readily available food before agreeing to any large-scale
slaughterreformation. She offered to negotiate peace talks to help integrate changeling society into the rest of the world, saying she’ll cooperate with whatever security and surveillance measures you want to take as a sign of trust. Her only stipulation is that the negotiations take place in Ponyville, because apparently she doesn’t trust you that much.I’m confident I can represent Equestria in this matter, but if you’d like to come yourself,
see Anonit’ll speed the whole thing along. The Holey Ho said she’s k with only talking to ambassadors if you’re worried about safety. Either way, if you could send over a couple guards, a blood tester thingy, and maybe one of those anti-magic mcfuckerydoos, that’d be great. I already put like fourteen thousand alarm spells around the perimeter, so we’ll know if she tries anything funny before they get here.Your almost sexy librarian,
Thighlight SpunkleP.S. - Kinkbug wants me to warn you she naturally emits a pheromone that makes everyone around her mildly horny, so whoever you send should be aware of that. I found no significant change in my state of arousal, but it’s worth noting.
P.P.S. - Anon will happily volunteer to be one of her personal guards if you need him to. His raw masculinity is more than enough to withstand any measly attempts at seduction.
10073783
I'm fairly certain it's the exact opposite, especially if he volunteered!
10073784
Trust me Anon is definitely not immune to thots.
Fuck Yeah.
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Changelings look good with Asian culture or at least look cool in kimono
Celestia gets to learn yet another concerning thing about anon's culture. Take your gun to school day.
And also that Twilight is seen as less threatening, somehow.
10073827
Anything looks cool in kimono. Mostly because they tend to have bright colors and interesting patterns.
Queen Succubug's gonna be annon's next girlfriend, ain't she? Oh this' going to be hilarious
10073885
Quite Likely Darling
So I noticed Twilight didn't raise any concerns that followed after... I'm more surprised that negotiations are even happening, coming from Twilight "shoot-first-ask-questions-later" Sparkle (See Letter 30).
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10073931
The first draft started with
“Anon stopped me from committing murder again thanks to his incredible charm and good looks.”
But I didn’t think it flowed into the rest of the paragraph as well.
10073827
I see somebody has yet to be tainted with the forbidden knowledge of the world famous comics author and artist, creator of the icnonic Sonichu, god-mayor of CWCville, and harbinger of the Dimensional Merge: Christian Weston Chandler.
I pity and yet envy you. Mostly envy.
Celestia is gonna come over to keep Chrysalis away from her love monkey if nothing else
Anon has been effected...
10073827
"seeking a marefriend free colt" was my first thought. Now I want Chrysalis with The Sign.
My man! That's what I'm talking about! Embrace the bug (literally, if possible)!
Do it to piss off Twilight, if nothing else.
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Anon is nothing if not giving. Or at least that's the goal.
10074037
The “y” makes all the difference ^^;;;
Interesting. Please, continue!
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How i imagine it will go. She better hurry up or chrissy gonna steal her buttmonkey.
10074032
So you made Chryssy the reasonable one?
It seems the purple is a crazy sponge, with an effect area that's practically worldwide.
Discord seemed amicable enough in previous letters, now Chrysalis. Like the conquering need was never there for them.
Next Tirek will show up as a personal fitness trainer, Sombra will be resurrected and try being an actual politician instead of a Starlight Glimmer with a thinly veiled BDSM fetish, Starlight Glimmer herself will probably be some kinda anti-cutie mark philosopher writing books from out of her town, and Grogar's probably just doing a world tour visiting all the monsters he spawned.
10074347
Yeah , that's actually written in the "help" section of the site . But still it takes a lot of popularity for a single fic to be featured that many times in so little time.
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At least now we know that Anon is from the US !
We were all K until that last part. I suspect Celly may show up to ‘clarify’ some things with Chrissy after that final bit.
Are we just not gonna talk about this?
10075733
I picture Anon as your icon but green and is the mental image Twilight has of Anon when she thinks he's masculine.
10075886
Anon is calling himself masculine. Any time Twilight says that, it’s implied to be Anon adding his own flavor.
Heh.
I see what you did there.
What would happen to her if Kinkbug would emit a pheromone that makes everyone un-horny?
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She would cease to exist
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You meant that metaphorically, as in "she would become someone else, since the essence of her very being is removed", right?
Hmm. Everything seems to be going better than expected, but "seems" is a tricky word with Chrysalis...
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Every time Twilight clonesplodes, she absorbs more free stupidity from the environment. She purples so that we may live.
Anon x kinkbug ill accept it
Celestia. Get all available undercover agents to Ponyville as quickly and as quietly as possible. Go in disguise if you have to. DON'T LET PURPLE SCREW THIS UP.
Chrys Chan.
Bruh.
10073860
Interestingly enough, im pretty sure school shootings were less prominent back when kids could bring a gun to show and tell.
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And crime is much lower the higher the number of gun ownership (at where concealed carry is permitted). In my college crim courses I learned that even if someone has a gun pointed at you, just showing them you have a gun on you usually causes them to run away. Most criminals have no desire to actually attack, let alone kill, anyone and just use intimidation. When that doesn’t work and they shoot an armed person, they quickly learn adrenaline makes gunshot wounds pointless and killing with a gun is actually pretty hard if you don’t hit just right. They learn this by their victim ignoring the wound, drawing their gun, and emptying a magazine into the idiot who shot them.
10073827
Makes historical sense. Extremely conformist cultures centered around blind obedience to authority and who advance by copying whatever foreigners give them including dress and many customs and mannerisms to blend in with said foreigners. So, changlings.