Dear Princess Sunbutt

by 2Merr

Letter 89

Dear Princess Tea-Pose,

Today I played horse D&D with my friends. I remember I used to play with Whining Armor when I was little, so I’m somewhat familiar with how everything works, but there have still been some bumps in the road. It’s hard for me to wrap my tiny, wrinkly brain around the idea that a fantasy game isn’t supposed to work exactly like real life. I initially wanted to be a sorcerer, but this game puts reasonable limitations on magic, so I got triggered and rolled up a new character.*

Throughout our first adventure, I learned that being able to teleport in real life doesn’t mean my character can. I also learned the importance of choosing the right class to complement your character’s base stats and abilities. For example, despite having the highest Strength in the party, I am by far the weakest link. It’s k though, my friends are used to planning things with the assumption that I’ll fuck it up somehow.

We will be continuing our campaign for the foreseeable future, so I’ll be a good little nerd and take notes for you. I want to share the fun activities I engage in, something something new experiences, yay friendship, etc.

Your metagaming POS,
Chaotic Neutral

---

* She made a minotaur rogue for whatever reason and named him Boo Cow. He has a Wisdom of 4, so she’s pretty good at roleplaying him. It’s funny to watch.

Love, Anon

Comments

[Panem et Circenses]

Nobody likes a metagamer, smh.

[Panem et Circenses]

Also I feel she would be chaotic good...ish
does shitty things with the best of intentions and lacks the wisdom not to

[burner181]

I can taste the salt

[Void Runner]

I'm actually surprised she didn't spend a month/week/however long she had before the first session to read through the PHB, MM and DMG, plus any secondary material source books she could get her hooves on, and Munchkined the Crap out of the game to the point of the others getting upset with her making all of their contributions irrelevant.

Then again, that would actually make Twiggles Competent at something other than showing up all the other nerd horses in Celestia's Magical Academia Establishment.

[FrostTheWolf]

Your metagaming POS,
Chaotic Neutral

*blinks* Hold up... neutral? *looks at the rest of the story* Am I reading this right?

[Rambling Tree]

Go for the eyes, Boo, go for the eyes!

[KnightOwle]

9939527
It's important to realize that she doesn't meanharm, she just does harm because she never considers others.
Which in my opinion makes her more dangerous to be around.

[Oh dammit I am back here]

9939524
Dear Princess Sun Falls, Everyone Dies,
Because I am a nerd who hates the idea of immersion in a roleplaying game, I decided to read every single source book and errata ever done on every version of horse D&D. Because I don't realize that games are meant to be played for fun, I decided to make the most brokenly overpowered character of all time. Apparently, instantly one-shotting all the baddies before the rest of your party gets to do their turn, or instantly solving the puzzle the DM spent weeks working on, is not considered a very fun thing to do, and so I was forced to make a new character and wear the Hood of Munchkins (its a potato chip bag with eye slits).
I'm still trying to figure out why it wasn't cool of me to kill the king in his sleep and steal all his stuff because I am dumb and it's what my character would do.

Your critical failure,
Old Mare Twiggerson

[gamerboy11116]

9939515

does shitty things with the best of intentions and lacks the wisdom not to

Pretty sure that's just chaotic neutral.

[SRY]

9939543
I think even Old Man Henderson would give Discord the creeps. Or at least an "I don't want to talk about it" reaction.

Of course Anon playing this to break/fuck with an overpowered MunchinkinTwi would be hilarious.

[Void Runner]

9939543

[Void Runner]

9939556
Hey, not all Chaotic Neutral wizards are like Twigs. I'm in a 3.5 campaign and my Chaotic Neutral Wizard has a Wis. of 18 starting thanks to some seriously lucky dice when I was rolling for stats, and I try to play them that way (got another 18 on the dice for my Int. so I wasn't sacrificing anything). The difference is that while Archebald Konstentine doesn't deliberately go out of her¹ way to screw people over for no reason, it doesn't stop her from lacing half her scrolls with Exploding Runes or screwing over people who try to screw her over, or otherwise inconvenience her and the rest of the party (such as our Fey Druid/Blighter named F*youdie who's starting to attract some unwanted attention).

¹I ran into a spot of annoying chaos magic and had my gender switched on me.

[Officer Hotpants]

I'm surprised she didn't roll a bard and make charisma her dump stat.

[Viddaric]

9939543
This deserves an honorary slot into the actual story. Pure gold.

[Maramanasa]

9939559
Old man screwed over an old one by accident. Discord might either befriend him with an offering of wee men. Or be convinced to hunt him down.

[spiketen]

9939540
Come! Let us go dispense some justice!

[Kadigan]

> I remember I used to play with Whining Armor
> with Whining Armor
> Whining Armor

My sides

[Yellowtail]

When you try to be lawful good, but act more like an accidental Chaotic Neutral

[Deadpool1]

9954009
😏😏😏

[Deadpool1]

😏😏😏😏

[Bronzer]

9939606
When I couldn't stop laughing at this I realized what I really am.

[Officer Hotpants]

10137038

[War-Mercer]

"He has a wisdom of 4, so she's pretty good at roleplaying him"