Letter 120
Hey Tia,
I’m at the dentist with Twi right now. She refused to go under for the procedure and she’s weirdly resistant to the numbing stuff, so they have her huffing happy gas right now. She’s saying a lot of funny stuff, so I thought I’d write some of it down for you and Luna. It’s word for word. Enjoy.
“Luna’s gotta go back to the moon. I did the math: she owes six a billion bits in taxing back tax evader for a thousand years. She would pay, right? Yeah. She’s a good pony, she pays. But she can’t pay. She has no money because she was on the MOON. And dOoOOon’t even hit me with that, “oh, she invested for a thousand years ago blah blah blah.” I did the research money, I know her money is gone after she got gone away. She can’t pay, we gotta send her back. It’s the only way.”
(A few minutes later.)
“Why does she can go and I can’t? I’m good! I don’t even [unintelligible] and no one even listens about it. I’m good. I’m a good pony, Anon. You’re a good pony, too. I miss Trixie.” (Trixie is in the room with us.)
Now imagine that, but heavily slurred and with a lot of slow, exaggerated gesturing. It’s great.
Love, Anon
P.S. - Trixie says hi.
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Because of course Trixie would be there to witness something that she can hang over Twi's head later.
That's very debatable, Twiggly.
Twilight has the mind of a bureaucrat; the rules must be followed to the letter, like a topology problem ,they may be stretched, distorted, twisted into any shape until they no longer even resemble what they originally looked like just so long as they aren’t technically “broken.” Thinking outside the box about “tax forgiveness” wouldn’t even occur to this Sparkle even without the loopy gas. This Sparkle is horribly entertaining, but also plain horrible. I guess she’s a “good pony” for certain definitions of ‘good.’
Oh boy. I feel bad for whoever's the dentist that has to handle Twiggles right now
This is weird. I’m literally walking in to the dentist to have major surgery right now.
Get out of my head!
Do prisoners pay taxes? Technically Luna was imprisoned for treason and attempted regicide, among other things.
10174080
I mean, if they had debtors prisons in Equestria then maybe?
Oh god. She's going to be even worse coming out. Especially once they get her out into public.
What do you suppose laughing gas does to alicorn magic?
10174009
Is she even still a pony at this point? Hell, is this even the original (or as close as we get after all the panicked clone-sploding)? She has teeth so we know it's not Animated Skinsuit Sparkle, at least, though at this point it's up in the air whether they ever tracked her rogue skeleton down or just gave up and grew her a new one.
10174030
Excuse me while I poke the analytic manifold of bureaucracy with the essential singularity of logic.
Love it
Dang. Those fumes do great work.
This needs an audio version, stat.
10174447
Poke a away... just let me get to MSD before you start poking. I'd hate to be too close when reality unwinds...
10174009
She IS a good pony. A horribly mentally sick and scarred one, but a good pony deep down. Anon knows it, Celestia knows it, hell her friends and family know it. Why do you think she hasn't been committed yet? Yes, unbridled power notwithstanding.
how is trix, anyways?
10175009 Dunno about that. She’s dumber than a cymbal-playing drool monkey.
So, as it turns out, Snow has concluded his Celestia continution.... BUT he did end it with giving Celestia a Tablet.
Maybe now Celestia can be included in this story since Anon and Celestia can basically just text each other, now?
Only problem with this story is chapters are so short FimFiction can’t tell I actually read the chapter and doesn’t mark it as read.
Are you ever going to host a Q and A for this story. There are so many questions that I have!
What happened in Iceland?
How can Anon show earth movies to the princesses?
Is this a universe where Equestria ploped onto earth (totally twi’s fault)?
Are we ever going to move into a more story driven arc?
Will you start including your own HRH Celestia responses?
Will Anon ever get together with Celestia? I know he and Luna hooked up, but they mutually broke it off.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO ICELAND?!
Which gas makes her less purple? Is such a thing even chemically possible?
10178195
dude half the fun is not knowing
10174545
Spea to Rinachan on youtube. She does an amazing Twilight Sparkle impression. Or at least she used to. I have no idea what she's doing now.
10180877
Bleach. Then alter her hairstyle while she's out and use illusion magic to make her think she's turned into Rarity somehow, and really sell it by having Sweetie Belle bring her a burnt offering for breakfast.
10210014
I don't know. Presenting Twilight burnt offerings seems like it could lead to different problems...