Dear Princess Celestia,
After an extended conversation with Anon, I’ve come to understand you plan to hold a meeting with my mother regarding the incident early this morning. Anon has admitted he greatly exaggerated my words in his letter, so I would like to clear up any misunderstandings. Whether it was a prank on his part or a lack of proper communication on mine, the fact remains that I was not yelling at foals for being short at four in the morning. That’s ridiculous, and frankly I’m a little hurt that you believe I would do such a thing.
I’ll address the inaccuracies as they appear in the initial letter (assuming Anon was being fully honest when he told me what he wrote).
- I was not yelling, I was explaining things in a heated fashion. I was forced to raise my voice at points because they were being rude and talking over me.
- They were not foals, they were siblings of twelve and thirteen.
- The focus of my lecture was not to criticize their height, but rather to explain why their height is below average for their age group and why that matters.
- Their “parents” are not their true parents, they’re both adopted.
- The parents were not mad, they were afraid, then surprised and possibly annoyed when they realized it was me.
- I did not break into the house, the front door was unlocked and there was a Welcome mat.
- It was not four in the morning, it was three forty-five.
- I did not take the siblings to a secluded location, I took them to the Apple’s barn. Considering its proximity to Ponyville, it can hardly be called secluded.
- Again, I was not yelling. I simply wanted to make sure they understood how short they are.
Of course, I must reiterate that I have since learned my methods were less than ideal. In the future, I will wait until a more appropriate time to strike up a conversation. I’ve been told most ponies prefer to wait until at least an hour after sunrise, and that conversing over breakfast is a common social practice.
With the above points cleared up, I would humbly request you cancel the meeting with my mother. I’m sure it would cause her a great deal of stress to realize she was summoned by the Princess over a simple miscommunication.
Your faithful student,
Twilight SparkleP.S. - Anon wants me to tell you he promises his future transcriptions will be as accurate as before, and that this lapse in professionalism was a one-time thing.