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// Letter 137 
// Story: Dear Princess Sunbutt 
// by 2Merr 
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Dear Princess Fever Dream, 

I had a bad day today. I got made fun of by children this morning. They called my horn fat. This upset me because they clearly weren’t taught proper anatomy. At the very least, a kindergartner could say it’s a protrusion of bone with a thin layer of skin covering it and be technically correct. There’s no room for fat. Why couldn’t they understand this?

I tried explaining things to them, but then they called me a stupid dumb. I almost couldn’t believe the inaccuracies coming from their mouths. I take pride in my brain being my one semi-redeeming feature, so being called stupid was genuinely hurtful. I offered to make an incision along my horn to show them that there was no fat, but then they said they didn’t want to see my fat, ugly horn. 

So now my horn was fat and ugly, along with me being stupid. I went crying to Trixie because she’s used to being made fun of, and she told me I needed thicker skin if I wanted to survive around foals. Being as dumb as I am (not stupid), I took this literally and made my skin a half-inch thicker and two shades more purple. I couldn’t blink anymore, but that’s what magic is for. My horn, now actually looking fat, was held high as I waddled back to the park. 

They made fun of me again, and I ran crying back to Trixie a second time. I spent the rest of the day undoing my rhino skin instead of what I had planned. About an hour into it, I realized Anon and Dash had snuck in and were throwing darts into my cutie mark while I couldn’t feel anything. They said it was funny because it was, but I made them stop anyway. 

The only upsides today were the pity kisses from Trixie and the additional knowledge that artificially thickening one’s skin does not lead to an increased tolerance for emotional pain. Maybe I’ll find a spell for that, or I might need to make one. Either way, it’s a long way out. In the meantime, I’ll just avoid foals like my restraining order says. 

Your endangered species, 
Twhinoceros