1. Member Since 5th Mar, 2012
  2. offline for 2d, 20h

A thirtysomething Brony from Pennsylvania with a library degree. I also have a Patreon.

Stories

  • T The Mystery of the Cipactli Glyph

    Years before Nightmare Moon's return, Princess Celestia and a young Daring Do need to figure out why ponies are disappearing around Vanhoover.  · Kwakerjak
    13,880 words · 718 views  ·  61  ·  1
  • T Everything, Including the Stars, Is Falling

    Twilight makes a final effort to mend her friendship with Spike.  · Kwakerjak
    3,722 words · 1,799 views  ·  140  ·  12
  • T Transdementia

    Pinkie Pie heads to another world to retrieve the stolen Element of Magic, with Penumbra in tow. ("Equestria Girls" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)  · Kwakerjak
    75,198 words · 2,952 views  ·  347  ·  26
  • T Further Observations on Chimeric Behavior

    Ember learns why it's never a good idea to make a lovestruck chimera tail angry.  · Kwakerjak
    6,483 words · 2,018 views  ·  164  ·  8
  • T Let's Kill Tirek

    After Tirek destroys Ponyville's library, the chimera from the fire swamp decides to exact the vengeance that the ponies refuse to take.  · Kwakerjak
    9,341 words · 2,833 views  ·  328  ·  7
  • T On the Courtship Behavior of Swamp-Dwelling Chimeras

    Spike somehow ends up on a blind date with the chimera from the fire geyser swamp -- or to be more specific, with its tail.  · Kwakerjak
    6,287 words · 6,798 views  ·  680  ·  10
  • E Flash Fog

    Fluttershy must deal with an unusually thick fog as it approaches Ponyville.  · Kwakerjak
    127,920 words · 17,402 views  ·  1,830  ·  38
  • T Apex

    A new predator arrives in the fire geyser swamp, challenging the dominance of the chimera.  · Kwakerjak
    5,712 words · 3,470 views  ·  456  ·  5 · gore
  • T Pandelirium

    Celestia decides to attempt to reform Discord, so she taps a pony with a similar background for the job. ("Keep Calm and Flutter On" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)  · Kwakerjak
    77,357 words · 14,892 views  ·  1,019  ·  27
  • E π

    Trixie returns to Ponyville to challenge Twilight Sparkle. ("Magic Duel" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.)  · Kwakerjak
    13,505 words · 8,654 views  ·  1,061  ·  19
  • E The Final Accusation: A Legal Comedy

    A dozen years after ascending to become an alicorn, Applejack rules on the case of Tiara v. FlimFlam  · Kwakerjak
    21,323 words · 3,740 views  ·  431  ·  9
  • E Avocation

    Penumbra seeks gainful employment.  · Kwakerjak
    4,557 words · 9,524 views  ·  1,441  ·  22
  • T Inscape

    When Twilight is taken by the Nightmare, it's up to Pinkie Pie to rescue her.  · Kwakerjak
    29,281 words · 23,867 views  ·  2,505  ·  39
  • E So, Just What Went Wrong, Anyway?

    Before Applejack's pep rally, Derpy was acting really weird... even for her. This is why.  · Kwakerjak
    5,213 words · 4,132 views  ·  363  ·  7
  • T Wild, Sweet & Cool

    Rainbow Dash wants to add strength training to her regimen by having Twilight Sparkle ride her.  · Kwakerjak
    34,747 words · 17,532 views  ·  1,742  ·  30
  • E Petriculture

    Twilight tries to figure out how rock farming works.  · Kwakerjak
    6,716 words · 47,911 views  ·  3,271  ·  46

Influences

This isn't a list of my favorite things; rather it's an incomplete list of things that have directly influenced my storytelling. If you have any questions about how they've influenced me, feel free to leave a comment in my User Page's comment section.


Fiction

The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

The Mercury trilogy by Robert Kroese

The plays of William Shakespeare

Nonfiction

Basic Economics by Thomas Sowell

The Genesis of Science by James Hallam

Movies

Peter Jackson's Lord of the Rings trilogy

The Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl

Video Games

Persona 4

Music

School of Seven Bells

The New Radicals

The Stone Roses

The entire subgenre of psychedelic trance.

The Petriculture Cycle

  • Petriculture Twilight tries to figure out how rock farming works. by Kwakerjak 6,716 words · 47,911 views · 3,271 likes · 46 dislikes
  • Inscape When Twilight is taken by the Nightmare, it's up to Pinkie Pie to rescue her. by Kwakerjak 29,281 words · 23,867 views · 2,505 likes · 39 dislikes
  • Avocation Penumbra seeks gainful employment. by Kwakerjak 4,557 words · 9,524 views · 1,441 likes · 22 dislikes
  • π Trixie returns to Ponyville to challenge Twilight Sparkle. ("Magic Duel" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.) by Kwakerjak 13,505 words · 8,654 views · 1,061 likes · 19 dislikes
  • Pandelirium Celestia decides to attempt to reform Discord, so she taps a pony with a similar background for the job. ("Keep Calm and Flutter On" as it occurs in the Petriculture AU.) by Kwakerjak 77,357 words · 14,892 views · 1,019 likes · 27 dislikes

The Really Good Stuff

  • E Dying to Get There

    None of Twilight's friends would be silly enough to believe a newspaper article that claims she was killing herself every time she teleported, right?  · Titanium Dragon
    4,825 words · 19,633 views  ·  2,731  ·  64
  • E The Assumption of Applejack -or- Appletheosis

    Applejack deals with ascension to godhood.  · Blue Print
    34,663 words · 16,326 views  ·  1,453  ·  35
  • E The Moonstone Cup

    Twilight is invited to Canterlot to compete with some of the greatest unicorns in Equestria!  · Cyanide
    61,073 words · 27,798 views  ·  2,701  ·  41
  • E Daring Do and the Secret of the Fourth Wall

    Thrust into the world of her favorite book-series, Rainbow Dash finds herself dragged along for the ride of Daring Do's latest adventure. However, for Rainbow Dash, breaking the fourth wall may very well prove to be a learning experience.  · Ultra-the-HedgeToaster
    35,080 words · 5,598 views  ·  387  ·  6
  • T Sharing the Night

    Twilight becomes alicorn of the stars. This is sort of a problem, because Luna kind of already was alicorn of the stars. Oops!  · Cast-Iron Caryatid
    197,614 words · 38,903 views  ·  3,442  ·  81
  • E Fluttershy Has Tea With Jesus

    Fluttershy and Jesus drink tea and nothing objectionable happens. Not a trollfic.  · Retsamoreh
    2,556 words · 11,202 views  ·  653  ·  31
  • E Flipside

    A retelling of the first two episodes in an Alt. Universe. Spike is the pony, Twilight the dragon.  · Bed Head
    85,211 words · 10,768 views  ·  949  ·  21
  • T Nosflutteratu

    Twilight Sparkle had been looking forward to a quiet, relaxing day with a friend, but when Twilight discovers Fluttershy's appetite for blood, the knowledge proves to be anything but relaxing...  · Charcoal Quill
    14,657 words · 27,769 views  ·  2,392  ·  32
  • T Just Passing Through

    Humans, sailplanes and cloud cities just don't mix very well.  · Caliaponia
    55,898 words · 15,958 views  ·  1,219  ·  32
Mar
20th
2017

A recommendation. · 12:25am

You folks know that I rarely make story recommendations, and when I do, they are ones that fulfill three criteria. First, they need to be good (duh). Second, they have to be sufficiently obscure to make my recommendation worthwhile, because what's the point of recommending something that's on everyone's radar already? Finally, they need to be short enough to complete in one sitting at the time of the recommendation.

Ember, Hoardsmelter by Bugsydor fulfills all these requirements. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I will admit he's one of my prereaders, but I feel quite confident that I'm not just being blinded by personal friendship in this case.

Report Kwakerjak · 82 views ·
  • Viewing 76 - 80 of 80
#80 · 33w, 2d ago · · ·

Nothing here for nearly a year.

The first fanfiction I ever read was Petriculture. Good job.

#79 · 83w, 6d ago · · ·

>>1943720 - Honestly, I should have been following you earlier.

#78 · 84w, 4h ago · · ·

Thanks for the warch! On an unrelated note, my evenings have become a lot less cluttered recently, so I should have fewer problems stopping by to do prereadery things.

#77 · 91w, 1d ago · · ·

Having seen Party Pooped, I felt that it actually gave credence to the characterization of Pinkie Pie in The Petriculture Cycle. She was the only pony aside from Twilight to do the reading, she's amazingly organized, and she might as well have used imaginary friend powers to go where she did and do as much as she did.

  • Viewing 76 - 80 of 80
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