Princess Celestia's reign as the sole ruler of Equestria has been a long one, and, for the most part, it has been a good one, as well. Even so, the specter of Nightmare Moon's inevitable return has been weighing on her mind. Although the looming deadline is still years away, Celestia can't seem to keep from dwelling on things to come, to the point where any change from the norm seems like it would be a welcome distraction. All that changes, however, when a young archaeology student arrives in her throne room with distressing news about recent events in Vanhoover. Her sister, it seems, is not the only imminent threat.
Image by Page Turner.
Chapters (5)
A new story by the marvelous Kwakerjak? Count me in for this ride!
Daring Do and Big Sunny? I'm there! :pinkiehappy:
This promises to be very interesting indeed. Definitely looking forward to more.
Always nice to see Celestia do things.
So does this story occur before the Season 1 Opening?
7761388 - Very much so. it takes place about ten years before the Mane 6 get their cutie marks.
7761394 And before Daring Do got her career as an explorer/adventure author?
Gaaahhh
Curious situation.... And speaking of which, I was half waiting to hear that Curiosity had been killed by a giant cat.
I see that this one isn't so vast that it ate the gods' attempts at Creation as soon as it began, and wasn't killed so its corpse could be used to support the earth, underworld, and more than 10 different heavens.
Although it would be pretty awesome if they were actually tiny cipactlis inside of the Cipactli.
You've piqued my interest. You present an interesting take on both Daring Do and Celestia that I find refreshing, and it's not often that we get to see an adventure story with Celestia herself as the protagonist!
My only real criticism so far is that the pacing on the first part with Curiosity was a bit too fast: you skimped badly on worldbuilding and exposition, and it made that part rather dull and uninteresting right up until the end. I would've suggested expanding that part greatly and perhaps making it a chapter of its own. But the rest of the chapter makes up for that!
I look forward to more.
Oooo, more Daring Do. You have my attention, sir.
Daring is very well characterized. Celestia's characterization is also pretty good. All in all, I think I'll be coming along for the ride.
Thought that was Hoofington.
That assistant must be a fairly close confidant for Celestia to drop her serene mask so completely. Perhaps a young Kibitz.
Clever.
What Daring Do doesn't know is that Princess Celestia is still heavily burdened with how she tragically banished her sister to the Moon after the latter's transformation into Nightmare Moon. Furthermore, Daring also doesn't realize that the piece of jewelry with the "L" labaled on it once belonged to Princess Luna herself.
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To be fair, pretty much all public knowledge of Princess Luna has faded away or maybe even been erased, so it's no surprise Daring doesn't know about Princess Luna, her banishment, and her relation to the jewellery piece.
7867271 I suppose you're right.
I admit I cringed reading that scene with A.K.'s parents- not that anything was wrong with the actual writing, but I've been binging on the Triptych Continuum, in which Equestria is largely characterized by willful, self-centered stupidity, and that (and the ongoing bureaucratic mixup) felt like it fit right in.
Ha, she's been in the business for so long, she has triggerable mentor instincts!
Loving the interplay between A. K. and Celestia. You've done a great job in making them feel like equal contributors to the investigation.
And my goodness but that scene with the Yearlings was awkward. Reminds me of trying to explain computers to my mother.
As for the tiles... sliding puzzle? Elaborate key to some lost temple? I'm thinking both.
Nightmare Moon don't remember anything before her banishment?
Well, I guess missing out on new stories like this one is the price I pay for ignoring my feed for a couple months at a time.
7981552 And it's not a correct assessment of how long-term memory works regardless. It is a well-established occurrence for memories, especially of trauma, to remain even when un-accessed for many years.
Unless you slip them some propofol and then have them recall it! Then the memory doesn't get back into storage and they forget! There's also another drug which can do the same thing, only even more efficiently, by blocking the protein responsible for the key mechanism of movement from active use back into long-term memory.
Now we can actually selectively erase people's minds! Isn't science wonderful?
That was an epic chapter!
*and now a sneak peek into the thoughts of my mind as I read the first line of this chapter...*
"Heeeey, nice use of imagery and the personification of an inanimate concept of idea and state of being to describe the mood of a scene and...
...oh wait. That's the name of a pony not...you know...actual curiosity. Hm."
That was seriously what first sprang to mind as I totally misread that sentence.
Also, there's a whole bunch of things about Daring Do that break one's suspension of disbelief besides just her name, but we need not get into that.
That's an interesting alternate spelling of "Celestia" if I ever saw one.
Now things are getting interesting. There's definitely a bigger mystery going on here than first glance would suggest.
The first meeting of Daring Do and Caballeron?
Neat to see Celestia and A.K. plausibly combine their efforts to tame the beast, without making the Princess quite seem in danger of getting worfed by a random encounter.
Heh. Naval jokes.
Holding a torch in magic seems kind of redundant when that magic can produce light on its own. Especially when it's Celestia we're talking about. Light sources are kind of her thing.
In any case, interesting developments and a nice fight scene. Definitely looking forward to more.
This is the best chapter so far, because the walls of text are about action rather than exposition. That's probably the one piece of constructive criticism I would offer: try to do less word-wall-style exposition, and try to make it more action-based. You managed that pretty well in chapter 3, but far less so in chapters 1 and 2. Except for that issue, your stories are really good, thanks to solid strengths with characterization and logical flow. If you could just get better on that one thing, you'd definitely be one of the top authors on the site.
This was a really good chapter, and it's great to see this updated. Although I did spot a few typos. The first was the "elestia" one someone already mentioned, but there was also this:
Those two decided to break IN...
Good luck on your next chapter.
Where can I find Page Turner?
8028266 - His user page is here.
No wonder Celestia seems to be freaking out about the imminent return of her sister: She has no actual memories of Luna or their last battle, just some notes.
8026766
The down side to using your own magic as a light source is that the light is instantly gone when you lose your concentration. If you are surprised, and lose your concentration, that's when you need the light the most.
DUN DUN DAHNNNNN
What a tweest! (If true, of course)
Well then... it does seem like a bit of a stretch, but at this point things have certainly gotten crazy enough.
Good to see more of a functioning team effort, at any rate.
8197423 - I'm not quite following you there. What about this chapter calls to mind "Yakety Sax"?
If this surprise pans out for
Daring DoAK, she'll certainly be happy that it was a live capture.I'm not sure how she made that leap of logic. She doesn't know what the machine or the glyphs do. She's only seen earth pony glyphs. How'd she get the idea for a cipactli glyph that would turn a pony into a cipactli?
8198484 - Primarily, she's trying to come up with a reason for why a reptile would be able to understand Equestrian while not being able to speak any form of reptilian, combined with what she admits is a bit if wishful thinking. What she's learned about the glyphs is merely supporting evidence that makes her idea plausible.
I really loved with what you did in this chapter, even though both A.K. And Celestia haven't made much progress on their ends of the investigation.
"The Princess says the rest are for nostalgia, whatever she means by that."
In any case, that's definitely one heck of a twist. If Daring's right, this could be huge on multiple levels. Eagerly looking forward to finding out.
Finally got around to reading this... and I love it! I want more!
Well...it would explain a few things...
8197745 It's what I hear when shenanigans are imminent, whatever kind they might be.
Well, that's.... horrible. The reveal, not the chapter. The chapter was good. I'm interested in seeing more. Though I have to say when Daring went into that passage you had a string of really thick paragraphs, Maybe they could have been broken down a little bit.
Another enjoyable chapter. Good job.
It's good to see that Celestia has shared information about her sister to A.K. Yearling. Also, why would the solar Princess have a lingerie closet if she's got an exposed posterior like most ponies? Because as Applejack once said during the Season 1 Finale "we don't normally wear clothes."
So Celestia doesn't actually remember how she banished Luna?
...Well, that's the passage of time for you.
The look on some scumbag's face when he realizes he's face to face with his ageless god-empress never gets old.