• Member Since 16th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen June 10th

Skyeheart


Will work on later

E

Trixie has never been one to shy away from boasting and ego stroking. It certainly helps when you've suddenly become one of the most important ponies in the world in the span of a single night. But Twilight starts to think things are getting out of hoof for the showmare when she starts hoofing out autographs and getting news columns for things as simple as stopping a runaway baby carriage or fixing a broken carriage wheel.

So she decides to show Trixie what a real hero is like with a little help from her friends. Unfortunately for them, everything will go too according to plan. When a simple scheme to teach a mare about swallowing your pride turns into a race to save a reputation, a friendship, and perhaps an entire city, there's only going to be one question on everypony's mind at the end of the day:

What truly defines a hero?

Story set in the Manehattanverse.
Cover art by punzil504

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 81 )

From the premise presented in the description, it sounds like you're doing a sort of reversal on Boast Busters as well as re-handling the premise presented in The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well. I'd say 'take notes, Merriworth,' but I'm really sick of the "Lurve And Tolerate" community knocking her up and down the walls about her handling of that episode - yes, she botched up what could've been a great premise and made our heroes idiotic pricks! BRONIES, GET OVER IT! She did a wonderful job with Wonderbolt Academy! Stop harping on the past and GIVE HER HER PROPS!

...Sorry, tangent. Anyway, color me intrigued. I'll slap this in my Read Later folder and will follow suit with that action later this evening. Also, Manehattan Universe is best universe! (Because it's new and I can catch up on the universe's 'canoninity')
:twilightsmile:

Looking towards the source they saw what caused it.

Only thing I thought I should point out. Anyway, this looks interesting, mixing up Boast Busters and Mare Do Well together. I'll be wondering what differences you'll be putting in from the latter episode since as we all know it wasn't...well received. But you're a good writer, I know you'll come up with something good.:raritywink:

Well, until next time!:scootangel:

2484913 Not to mention it's sort of hypocritical since these are probably the same people who cheered when Kenny did it in South Park to Cartman/The Coon as Mysterion

Nice work on the next story(episode XD) of the Manehattanverse. Hope to see more of this developed. Props also for combining two epsiodes into one story that fits for Trixie.

Ooh, I literally just watched the episode this was based on today; seeing it transposed in the Manehattanverse is a real treat for me! Aside from a couple of capitalization errors I noticed (namely, capitalizing "Elements of Harmony" and "Element of Laughter"), I found no mistakes. Overall, this was a nice, easy, and enjoyable read for me. I'm definitely following this, and I hope to see more soon!

2485509

I wouldn't quite say that Rainbow Dash deserves exactly the same treatment as Eric "Cook a kid's parents into chili and force him to eat it" Cartman.

Fluff 'n Stuff's Pillow Emporium

They also sell garden rakes! :pinkiehappy:

I'm new to the Manehattanverse, and this looks interesting. Faved and I shall be watching this.

Comment posted by Skyeheart deleted May 22nd, 2013

Way to go Skye! Good transition at the end from teaching a lesson to sad and miserable. Can't wait for the next one. Wonder if this will cause trixie to move to another town.

Poor trixie. Never really was a fan of the mare do well episode and this story shows a well written way that that episode could have gone. Plus sad trixie makes me sad.

And this... is how Mare-Do-Well should have gone.

"...So wait, Mare-Do-Well was never going to be a permanent fixture of Manehatten? You were going to save people for a few days, become a symbol of hope and heroism in this city, and just vanish for no reason, leaving us to take care of ourselves, with some people even losing their lives because we at first expect Mare-Do-Well to show up like always?"

"...And the only reason you started saving people in the first place was so that you could facilitate an elaborate and cruel prank that the entire populace was an unknowing accomplice to? All so that you could humiliate your own friend and bring her down to your level?"

"...Well, I don't know about you folks, but I certainly feel like becoming a supervillain and tearing the foundations of this city asunder to validate my belief that there are no heroes left in Ponykind. Anyone feel like that? Come on, show of hooves, who's with me?"

There's been a few fics exploring this issue and the rather broken aesop of the MMDW episode, but it's interesting to see it here (even if I expected it from the start). Woven into the episode itself, so to speak.

Wow, Twilight. You really messed this up. It will be interesting to see how you patch this up...

Humility is tricky. You try to teach it to someone, pretty soon you realize you need a bit of it yourself.

Now THIS should've been the realistic reaction in the episode.

I'm starting to think that Trixie will want to leave town since no one will come watch her shows anymore in Manehattan. Now I want to see how Twilight and the others will try to patch things up.

They didn't even wait until Trixie's grandstanding actually started interfering with the pony-saving :facehoof:

2630753 Pretty much.

In fact the ONLY pony that's using their head in this situation is Tangerine! The child fillies and gentlecolts is acting more mature than the adults!

While Trixie did need to be taken down a couple pegs, she didn't need to be smacked down into a crater.

2680644 Actually a good point. Shows that Twilight's jumping the gun even quicker than in canon. I'm very eager to see how they'll resolve it.

I am really liking this. Why? Because just like in real life, both sides are shown to be partially to blame, rather than the classic setup of villains versus heroes who come out smelling like roses.

Manehattan's a lot tougher on her heroes than Ponyville is. If you can make it there, you'll make it anywhere.

I know it was Twilight's idea, but considering Blossomforth is the Element of Loyalty, she seemed to get off rather easy compared to the others. Poor Sherbet.

I'm surprised Octavia didn't use "The road to Tartarus is paved with good intentions" as one of her quotes.

2723632

Didn't think of it, but that's a good one, I may edit it in there later.

...:applejackunsure: To be honest this chapter felt just to onesided towards Trixie, I mean while I can understand pointing out the flaws in that episode in this case Trixie did sorta had it coming so I'll give this chapter a 5 out of 10.

Love this chapter, good job as always. Just one problem. I remember in the show that Twilight wanted to learn magic after seeing Celestia raise the sun, not from Hairy Hoofdini. Got an explanation or need revising? That's just my small tidbit.

2723731

Bit of an exaggeration, she pretty much saw them both around the same time. But I can edit that a bit if it bugs you.

2723684
Well sorry if I was a bit biased. I knew there would there would be some controversy the minute I chose to spinoff this particular episode. But by the end of the final chapter it will show that both lessons have been learned to a point.

Yeah, this truly was a sad chapter to read... I truly thought that Trixie was gonna leave town...:pinkiesad2:

By the way, I know this is nitpicking, but don't you think that death's a bit too harsh for this story if it was a show? Then again, it is just a story, so you don't need to pay me any mind.

2724007

Yeah, I thought that too. But I really wanted to emphasize that behind the overly proud mare, lies a very insecure pony(Probably influenced from the POV series and The Reluctant Reunion of the Redoubtable Rabble-Rouser). That's why the impact of her friends acting against her makes it all the more dramatic. If LJP thinks it's too harsh to be canon, I'll swap it for a coma he's never been able to come out of yet.

To be honest, I thought the fallout would last a bit longer than all of that...

And it seems like Trixie is going to have to fight a real Ursa, Minor or Major, in spite of being well out of her weight class. Then again, I always thought of her as Weak but Skilled (tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WeakButSkilled), so it should be interesting to see how she responds.

2724068

Problem was, I had no idea how to extend it from that, so I gave it a nice time skip to let it vent, then let what's left go full drama bomb, so they let it all out, then feel better after a good cry. If Trixie knows they're genuinely sorry, she can take comfort that her friends are still there for her.

2724101 True. It will be interesting to see if the events in Brag You Down echo later on in the Manehatten universe.

If anything Trixie's back story makes sense. After failing the entrance exams she's had people and her own mother more or less turn their backs on her. She may seek attention and praise because of how little she got growing up.

It seems that we have a massive case of values dissonance here. I knew that there was values dissonance between me and th majority of other bronies when it came to views on Boast Busters and The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well, but this chapter tells me that it's much worse than I thought.

Have we forgotten that one of the Elements of Harmony is Honesty, upholding the truth, and another is Generosity, giving without expecting anything in return? I realise that I view lies and arrogance as more distasteful than most, but this is ridiculous! So no. Even after reaing this chapter, I still view canon!Trixie, canon!Rainbow and Manehattan!Trixie as in the wrong. I still see canon!Rainbow and Manehattan!Trixie's friends as having done nothing wrong. In fact, I would have considered it wrong for them to have not acted in response to such behaviour! So canon!Rainbow and Manehattan!Trixie's feelings got hurt. They can suck. It. Up. Rainbow's arrogance almost got a pony killed and if you think that Rainbow's feelings are more important than another pony's life, then there's more here that's wrong than I care to discuss.

Then there's this:

Twilight desperately tried to find a valid argument that could ease her guilt. "B-but what if she told one lie too many? What if she got so cocky, she'd end up causing a problem and getting somepony hurt?"

"Then that would be by her own doing, not yours.

I find this attitude utterly disgusting. No. If Trixie's friends saw the possibility of somepony getting hurt and ignored it, they would have been guilty.

Neither Rainbow or Trixie (in either verse) were made to look like fools. They did that all by themselves. The idea that someone else is not allowed to be better than you is tall poppy syndrome, foolish and revolting. Anyone who believes that needs to grow up.

A real hero would welcome a better hero than themselves and be grateful, because they're on the same side!

What happened to Trixie's mentor was tragic and those who laughed at his death were being sick, but his situation was completely different.

That said, I do like the idea of Twilight having a list of over 200 000 idols, though I think that the idea of Trixie's mento having been number 1 at some point is a bt ridiculous.

Okay, I think I smoothed chapter 3 out little better, gave it a little more balance towards the end. Everyone feel free to re-read it and let me know if it's better.

Pretty good, but when using coloured fonts, make sure they don't clash with the background. It sucks when you have to highlight the text just to read it right.

2772181

Sorry, but my palette is limited here.

I'll be making an appearance as my adventurous alter-ego for a book signing at the Brays and Nicker bookstore a few blocks down from the Entire State Building

What, not Barns & Stable? :trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

:raritycry: So fantastic! Another great fic there fine sir:moustache:

2772562

Oh that's much better, thank you.

Fantastic work on this story. I will be looking forward to more if you've planned them.:moustache:

Okay, I cried a little at this.

Well done, well done.

For a moment, I thought this might be treading into "Spike At Your Service" territory as well. Very nice resolution.

Reading this with Johannes Brahms - Lullaby in the background was perfect.

2484913 at first i disliked the mare do well episode but if you saw it as a two parter with wonderbolt academy is a genius premise since in wba lightning dust attitude was where rainbow dash was heading in mare do well

Oh I so love Trixie's backstory in this. It so works, and fits for her charzcter and allows for some decent growth in her character. It definatly works as my second favorite origin for our little magician. It doesn't hurt that Houdini is my favorite magician of all time and having him connect with Trixie is something that I really love.

If Orange Sherbet, Blossomforth, and Octavia were voiced, what would they sound like?

3008242

Sherbet actually had a voice, check Cutie mark Chronicles, Octavia search around youtube for the fanimations Vinyl and Octavia, I think her voice would be very similar to hers.

Blossomforth...there's some vagueness...I'm thinking light, nonchalant, something that exemplifies optimism out of slight naivety, close to Ditzy's from the Doctor and assistant, with just a half a tone down.

The reason you can't have tags for both comedy and sad is because the tags are supposed to show what the story's focus is. You can have a sad adventure with comedy moments, and that's fine. But if you tag comedy on there, it doesn't really show what the story's about.

Comment posted by Skyeheart deleted Oct 12th, 2013

3335502
Hmm...given that point, maybe a sad tag would be more relevant than comedy. Thanks for your input.

Login or register to comment