• Member Since 17th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Thursday

BlueBastard


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Life in Ponyville, outside of the usual events like a parasprite invasion or a revenge-seeking, all powerful megalomaniac kicking out the town librarian, tends to be laid back and typical. Which Applejack doesn't mind. However, after the CMC cause more problems due to influence from a newcomer in town, Applejack gathers the girls to go fix what the CMC did.

But then a mysterious creature ends up attacking Applejack, and while she survives and seems fine, it isn't long before she starts acting strangely. It's up to the usual group of ponies to figure out what's going on before it's too late.

[img]http://i.imgur.com/6MrWqNZ.png[/img]
*Approved for Twilight's Library on 3/18/14*

Also has a TVTropes page

Chapters (25)
Comments ( 400 )

:twilightoops: Woah. That is intense. If I don't get the third chapter soon and learn what happens next my head will explode in a fusion of apples and a SH!TLOAD OF GUTS!!! :flutterrage:

Kinda taking your sweet time with the reveal there.

That was pretty interesting, can't wait to found out what happens next.

I feel like you meandered around a bit too much with this chapter. You stopped to provide exposition on the book and Lyra when a single sentence would probably sufficed. "Brevity is the soul of wit." Shakespeare.
That and you've abused the commas a bit by stuffing too much detail into each sentence.

Still, interest is piqued. If you want to improve take a look at the /fic boards on mlpchan or ponychan.

Otherwise: Continue.

2309439

I know it's said some people think with internal body parts other than the brain, but I thought it was metaphorical and not literal. I also think you should have your head checked, having apples in your brain cavity might be a health hazard.:rainbowderp:

2310625

Well, you'll see why I'm writing it like that. There's a method to my madness:trollestia:

2311411

I felt the book and Lyra exposition is somewhat important as they'll obviously be more important later on, but I'll have some friends go over it and help me make some edits to cut them down. I'll also look into the comma thing to see where I can cut it down in places. Thanks for the feedback!

But seriously, this is a great story. I know that I will check in every day to see new chapters. :twilightsmile:
Also, just curious, what program did you use to make that cover picture?

2312542

Thanks!:pinkiehappy:

The cover pic is also done by the amazing Shinzakura, who I attribute/partially blame for eventually inspiring me to start writing fanfiction when the right factors were present. I believe he used Adobe Photoshop Illustrator C5, but I'm not sure.

I'll agree with other commenters that your pacing is a little weird. What might benefit you is an clear break between scenes. For example, Lyra and Bon-Bon were talking, and suddenly we cut to Big Mac with no warning.

Also, how do you get permanent brain damage from blood loss? I would think that if you're losing blood fast enough, you'd die before oxygen deprivation to the brain became an issue.

2313526

Yeah, need to go back and edit in the scene breaks. They aren't copying over for some reason.

And the idea behind blood loss = brain damage is pretty much explained here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cerebral_hypoxia

Not bad. I look forward to more.

ooo, first to the comment box I see.
well, i like where this is going,and I would also like to see this curse with greater depth

I guess it oughtta have been wereponies, for that would make a slight more sense, but hey, you wrote it. I think this chapter is great, especially the fact that it leaves us on a cliffhanger. :twilightsheepish:

First comment on chap 4, I see...

Scheeeeee.... oooooooooohhhhhh...... MAN. That is HARSH. But I liked the detail of the deathtrap. Nice touch. :pinkiecrazy:

Still.... ooooooooohhhh........:facehoof:

She hadn’t planned on the whole set up being this hard to diffuse, however.

I think the word you want here is 'defuse', as in, to remove a fuse, not 'diffuse', as in, to allow something to disperse.

Other than that, it was an enjoyable chapter.

jz1

She was not a fan of Twilight’s “psychological help” after the last time when the unicorn was convinced some minor argument between Dash and another pegasus named Cloud Kicker was born out of unresolved sexual tension due to a bloody catfight that somehow rendered Rainbow unable to have kids.

Private Angel Beats, m’am

After these two, I lost track of all the references.

And I'm pretty sure I read the first one somewhere.

2339323

Right, will fix that shortly when I get the chance. Thanks for pointing that out!

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That's a reference to "Life and Times of a Winning Pony" and pretty much is just a major conflict point between RD and CK as stated in the story IIRC

damn trollestia been playing ultima 8 and gotten inspiration lol

Woah. So intense. :twilightoops:

SO EPIC!!!! :moustache:

Trollestia just used her final smash!!! :trollestia:

Also, nice chapter! :twilightsmile:

Just a question, how do you get things like bold and underline to work? On my computer it just replaces the words I highlighted. :trixieshiftleft:

2366650

Thanks!

As for getting the text to do bold and italics, key commands won't work here. You have to highlight the parts of the text and then click on the corresponding button on the toolbar at the top of the editing window, which if successful will bracket the section with something like {b} (text here) {/b} only replace the "{}" with actual brackets. You could also manually type in the brackets, but using the provided buttons is faster.

Iron Will vs Rambun in the hunting match of the century! Who will bag the elusive Werewolf and who won't live to tell the tale? Tune in next time to find out!

I'm honestly surprised that Rich's Barnyard Bargains would even sell something as inhumane as a Bear Trap. I know Ponies don't need them, but I would think Rich would draw the line at providing something so unethical to other species.

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Filthy Rich struck me as invoking the stereotypical used car salesman, a normally well-meaning kind of guy who isn't afraid of overlooking some morals if it means a quick profit. Even if it means selling bear traps to minotaurs trying to catch a creature who allegedly only exists in ancient legends.

It’s a loooooooong story, ma’am, one that involves a pack of angry timberwolves, a needle gun, and wolf traps being operated by the most drunken goats who ever lived!”

best fucking piece of dialogue ever lol

2367915 Oooooooh.
testing. *will edit until it friggin works!!! cause I got this. :moustache:*

Edit: YUSH!!!

First Chapter: Holy shit dude, they built a CAR!

2397614 Why u no pic load on my compute?! :raritydespair:

Applejack was the last to leave, smiling in that nothing bad had happened.
That was when something bad happened.

jksaur.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/no-wai001.jpg
i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/429/926/0e9.png

“Magical and Maniacal Monsters of Malicious Mayhem”

:facehoof: bucking werewolves. This book shal tell us about them. I'm sure of it!

Real reason for parents death. Wereponies, nuff said.

Indeed, as the two ponies watched the orange mare make her way through the market, she was for some reason being followed by a growing assembly of dogs from all over town.

Dare I say it?.. Sigh, very well. It seems we have a literal 'bitch in heat':ajsmug:
Edit:

a bitch in heat!”

called it!

2397825 Its basically Iron Man with 50 million guns on his back. Oh and his feet are tanks.

2403240
Right click it, click copy link address, paste the link in a new tab, hit enter. There you go. And it didn't load on my computer either until I did that. There seems to be a problem with static.tvtropes.org images. I'm pretty sure it has happened before. Strangely enough though, once I've loaded it in a new tab it loads fine on this page.

I have to ask, have you read The Iron Druid Chronicles? Because the details of werewolf transformation are pretty much the same, able to transform whenever, but having to transform once a month. The only thing I think is different is the reason there is a full moon association. In Iron Druid the association is there because it is easier to hunt by the light of the full moon. And if you haven't read the Iron Druid Chronicles, look into it because it is a great series.

2399499

Saving that AJ pic for later:ajsmug:

2405450

I have not read that series, basically what I'm doing off of here is my own general knowledge about werewolves. The whole "once a month is required, but it's otherwise voluntary" detail about lycanthropy in this story is really just a mechanic I introduced to explain why Applejack can turn into a wolf-like form at will generally at any time she chooses but prefers to do it at night when the urges are strongest and nobody would really notice. I'm sure that even more differences between how werewolves are handled between this story and that series will also appear in time once the plot gets to them. As for checking out the series, I'll keep that in mind, but I'll hold off until I'm done with this story so I don't unintentionally steal any ideas from somebody else's work.

Okay, finally finished reading all of it. I decided to take breaks in between each chapter so it would last longer, but then I got bored and came back so it didn't last as long as I was hoping to make it last, but it looks like it will update quickly. Anyway, onto a review sort of thing.

I really like the story. Very little problems in the way of spelling and grammar (although in 8 I believe you meant to use rappelling instead of repelling. Repelling means keeping things away and rappelling is the rope assisted descent down a cliff), and a good mix of comedy and serious. I really like how this isn't a 'woe is me' angst-fest. Some plot points don't seem to have a point at the moment (television, Rambun), but they may pay off in the long run, so I won't hold them against the story. Speaking of plot points, you seem to have a few plots going on at the same time (Iron Will, Applejack, everyone else). This is actually a strong point because they tie together well and all add something different to the story. At times they can get confusing though. Pacing also sometimes seems to rush, but I've read (and written) worse and still gotten along fine, so no real problem there. All in all, I enjoy the concept and the execution. I have seen very few werewolf stories and read even fewer, so I look forward to what comes next.

Also, the scene that has generated the largest amounts of WTF (in a good way) was the flexing contest with the manticore. Just as a side note.

2405516
Yes definitely, it took me all of 10 minuets and 3 different web searches to find that image. Which will grow exponentially seeing as this is the Internet.
And very good story so far.
Moustache for you
th02.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2011/243/f/8/mustache_attack_applejack_by_triox404-d48gno3.png

Hazily, Iron Will replied “It’s a loooooooong story, ma’am, one that involves a pack of angry timberwolves, a needle gun, and wolf traps being operated by the most drunken goats who ever lived!”

Sandalwood. I see what you did there.

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Glad you're enjoying the story!:pinkiehappy:

2424825

You're actually the first person to realize that.:trollestia:

I'm kind of hoping that the CMC are the next ponies to discover that Applejack is a werewolf.

he also had a super-strength rope that could be used for repelling --> rappelling
stringer at the ready --> stinger
Striking another pose and flexing his big manticore muscles --> minotaur

Nothing could go wrong.

Yes this should be interesting.

Am I the only one who noticed that the chapter is CMC why?:derpyderp2:

:pinkiehappy: Good chapter, I got a feeling for Applejack, that the shit is soon going to get real, I hope Applejack does not get found.:pinkiehappy:

Murphy's law. Gotta love it.:pinkiehappy:

I want some action or shenanigans next chapter! This chapter was sorta....slow I do hope it was for a buildup

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