//------------------------------// // Ch.25: Red Wedding // Story: A Hairy Problem // by BlueBastard //------------------------------// A Hairy Problem Chapter 25 “Red Wedding” Wedding bells sounded off in a grand symphony as Castle Heiferton became enshrouded in a cloud of red and white confetti. Crowds of minotaurs lined the streets, cheering wildly, for it was a national celebration. At long last, Princess Circe was engaged to a worthy mate, and not since the international match held in the Estadio Cowcatlan when the National Minotaur hoofball team faced off against the Baltimare Orioles from Equestira had there been a larger crowd gathered in Heiferton. In retrospect, there wasn’t a single minotaur who would have predicted that Iron Will, seen as something of an outsider to minotaur traditionalists due to him making a living off of giving seminars to ponies, would gain the hand of the princess. Yet, there was no mistaking him when he’d stomped his way in the middle of the royal court to present the body of a werewolf to King Minos. Even more sensational was Iron Will’s claim that the werewolf he’d brought was the same one who had killed the minotaur queen almost a thousand years ago. For him to make such a claim was saying he’d literally fulfilled the ancient king’s decree that would earn him both a dukedom and the princess’s hand. Even more surprising was the support of his claim from none other than the diarchy of Equestria. In a public release, Princess Celestia stated that the werewolf in question, Sable Loam, had been threatening the state of her country on-and-off for centuries and more recently had made attacks on the Element bearers. Iron Will, in his werewolf hunting quest, had joined up with the Element bearers and several Ponyville locals to track down and end Sable once and for all, with IW doing most of the actual fighting due to his superior strength and immunity to lycanthropy, along with landing the killing blow. King Minos had been so hoping for a potential suitor to complete the task whose credentials were better than “pony motivational speaker”, but because of IW’s backing by Celestia (and by extension the entire upper class of Equestria), he had no choice but to honor the age-old promise. “Oh, I do love a good wedding!” sniffed Rarity, dabbing her tears on a kerchief. She, along with all of the other ponies involved with Applejack’s ‘werewolf problem’ had been personally invited by Iron Will himself to attend the wedding as VIP guests next to the Princesses. Only Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor declined, citing lingering trauma that stemmed from how far south their own royal wedding had gone. “Ah don’t know ‘bout y’all, but Ah’m a mighty suspicious of that ‘Princess Circe’,” muttered Applejack. “How do we know she ain’t Chrysalis in disguise?” “I doubt Chrysalis would even dare try to use mind control on somepony such as Iron Will,” Fluttershy insisted. “Even she can’t have that much control over somepony as assertive as him!” The cheers and murmurs of the assembled crowds died down as royal trumpets blared. The castle gates opened, letting out an entire regiment of armed minotaur guards dressed in their finest liveries. Following them was a troupe of traveling earth pony acrobats, serving to increase the already heightened feelings of celebration and merriment at the wedding. Another regiment of guards followed the performers, then came the cart bearing the newlyweds. Pulled by a team of the six strongest minotaurs, hailing from all across the kingdom, the car was a beautiful piece of art crafted from solid white oak and pure gold. It had been specially built decades ago to serve as the vehicle of such weddings, and to ride in it was a true bragging right of the elite. Of course, simply riding in a royal cart paled in comparison to Iron Will’s alleged “slaying” of Sable Loam the immortal werewolf, and the crowds went wild as the recently christened Duke Iron Will waved at the gathered crowds with his new bride doing the same. Rarity was especially pleased to see them in their outfits, as part of Celestia’s agreement with Iron Will to give him the credit for killing Sable Loam was that Rarity be the exclusive designer for all attire worn by the participants of the wedding. It not only proved to make the bride and groom look simply outstanding, but also would generate a lot of advertising and business for Rarity in the international sense. As the cart rolled past the Equestriani VIP section, Iron Will gave his pony friends a wink and his trademark smile, along with a thumbs up. He’d never be able to truly repay them for what they’d helped him with, not the least of which was getting his parents off his back about getting married. The ponies in turn flashed their own winks and smiles with raised hooves, the closest they could get to a thumbs-up without actually having thumbs. Finally, the last star of the royal procession reared his ugly head, as a cart guarded by Elite Canterlot Guardsponies rolled behind the newlyweds showed off Sable Loam. He was of course still dead, but as per minotaur tradition the beast that the groom had slain as part of his eligibility ritual was to be shown off during the wedding, then taken to be displayed in the married couple’s home as a hunting trophy. Due to King Minos being a stickler for tradition, Celestia had been convinced to allow Sable’s corpse to be taxidermied and publicly displayed. However, due to the unknown properties of Sable’s body as a result of it harboring dark magics over the course of a thousand years, the body was still a well of unknown possibilities, none of them good.  It had been agreed upon by all parties that after the wedding, Sable’s body (and all extracted entrails and bodily fluids) would be shipped back to Canterlot under heavy guard to be sealed away, and a duplicate dummy of Sable’s body, virtually indistinguishable from the original if simply looked at, would instead be displayed at the couple’s discretion. But as the body of Sable Loam trundled along in front of the minotaur masses, it was a humiliating end to the original werewolf who had terrorized Equestria for almost an entire millennium. The beast who had once dreamed of ascending to the throne atop Celestia’s broken corpse and beginning an age of werewolves as its king, now had been reduced to nothing more than a public spectacle that didn’t even give any indication to how Sable’s mind had been far more dangerous than his physical attributes. A fitting end for the disgraced former Royal Guard scout. One month later… “Yessir, these here apples are the sweetest, juiciest, and tastiest of their kind for miles around!” said Applejack, beaming with pride towards her crop. “Seriously, dad,” said Sandalwood, “just get some, I can confirm that Sweet Apple Acres apples are everything she says!”  Sandalwood’s father; Sea Shanty, tapped his hoof to his chin. “Well, what do you think, dear?” The unicorn next to him laughed. “Shanty, honey, it wouldn’t hurt to get some. I mean, they’re obviously not poison apples or anything.” Something in the unicorn’s manner of delivery rubbed Applejack the wrong way. “Hey! You sayin’ mah crop is bad or somethin’?” “What? Oh, no no no no!” apologized the unicorn, “I didn’t mean anything of the sort! My name may be Burnin’ Sarcasm but that doesn’t apply to everything I say!” Sea Shanty just rolled his eyes knowingly and put some apples into his saddlebags before putting a good little amount of bits on Applejack’s stand. Surprisingly, Applejack moved to push some bits back. “You’re Sandalwood’s parents, and Ah’m still in her debt after all her help she gave me while Ah was goin’ through some…personal issues. The least Ah can do right now is to give y’all a discount on mah stuff.” “Well, gee, thanks Applejack!” said Sandalwood. “Now, come on mom and dad, I’ve got to introduce you to Pinkie Pie over at Sugarcube Corner. She’s a real character!” “From how you’ve described her in your letters, she sounds like somepony I’ll like!” laughed Sea Shanty. As Sandalwood and her parents walked away, Applejack couldn’t help but feel pangs of jealousy for Sandalwood being fortunate enough for her parents to still be alive. To be able to hug her, to kiss her, to cherish- No thought Applejack, that’s not being fair to Mom and Dad. While the physical means of expressing  love had disappeared for  Appleseed and Cornflower a decade ago, they still remained as more than a mere memory. They were still out there, watching from above, caring and worrying about Applejack and the rest of her kin. The rest of the day was simple enough; the orange farm pony sold some more apples to various locals but not all of her stock. When the time came, Applejack loaded up the unsold crop into the barrels and hitched up to the cart. She began the trek home, taking care at that one fork to go the right way home and not to end up at the Meatery. As she continued to walk home, she noted it felt almost exactly the same as the night months ago when the CMC had crashed their car into the Everfree, the night it all had begun when Sable Loam, seeing the form of his lover reincarnated with Applejack, deviated from his plans and cursed her with lycanthropy for the longest months of her life. She’d only been free of the curse for about two months now, having last seen Sable’s stuffed corpse during the Minotaur Wedding, but thankfully the only remnants of that condition were her sleeping fits where she kept waking up and fearing she would find she’d transformed back into a wolf, and even those had finally begun to fade away. Long gone were her involuntary actions such as a constantly wagging tail or her need to consume meat, that latter of which she was extremely relieved to have dropped. Out of habit, after she’d stored the unsold apples, Applejack went to the barn where Apple Bloom’s mechanical abomination had once been sealed. Now it was referred to as ‘the garage’, for the vehicle had permanently changed into the Apple Truck thanks to Twilight, now currently sitting inside and waiting to be useful again. With the truck not going anywhere, Applejack then turned her attention to another part of the farm, this time a place much more sacred. There, in the rose-covered private cemetery of the Apples, the former werewolf sat down in front of the graves of her parents. Taking caution to avoid the thorns, Applejack plucked two roses and placed one on each grave. Suddenly, she felt the urge to look skyward. Doing so, she saw two familiar orbs streaking across the sky. “G’night mom. G’night, dad.” Said Applejack, smiling. The moment was of course then interrupted by Apple Bloom’s shouts of “APPLEJACK! SUPPER!” “AH HEAR YA, BE RIGHT THERE!” shouted back Applejack. Then, after watching the shooting stars disappear into the night sky, the restored Earth pony turned and dashed to the kitchen door to take her place at the Apple Family dinner table.