ahem......EPIC

And upon discovering that there's an Alicorn instead of the unicorn he knows...he runs for the hills.
...isn't that similar to how a good portion of bronies reacted to the leaked alicorn Twilight picture?

Well...
That was new.
What I imagine the author's reaction is going to be:
media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcn06wdbvt1rrmtkr.gif
In any case CURVEBALL!!!

MOAR is being demanded by me right now, can't wait!

Is this a legitimate chapter? It seems like it, but why would he freak out over Alicorn Twilight? Maybe I'm just being paranoid, it's April 1 after all. If it is a real chapter it could easily connect to Twilight's flying away at the end of the episode.

2357452
Believe me, this is a legit chapter. And elaboration on Peili's actions and feelings will be provided in Chapter 6.

2357482 Might want to add Twilicorn to the character tags then.

2357496
Only five tags allowed
Twilicorn, Celestia, RD, OC, Mane 6?

2357525 This, yes. The Mane 6 tag could be construed to include Ch.1-4 Twilight.

2357547
Awesome sauce. Thanks very much!

2357525
Princess Twilight not Twilicorn

2357583
The tags on the site read "Twilicorn", which sounds absolutely adoraburu
Besides, "Princess Twilight" is a bit too formal.

2357599
I know but "Twilicorn" doesn't sound right.

I mean she was a unicorn before, so adding "corn" just doesn't sound right to me.

She's a princess now, how overly-formal can you get?

2357401
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6hbvakVWP1rwcc6bo1_500.gif

2357615
To each his own, bro.

2357666
And that means......?

...Wow. Those 5k words flew by way too fast for my taste. Guess that shows how much I get into this story! But now there are so many unanswered questions! I eagerly await chapter six. And I hope Kuva didn't touch anything...

Love the continuity. Twilicorn was an interesting twist. I am curious to see how it will change things...

2357688
Pretty much we agree to disagree. I like Twilicorn, you like Princess Twilight. Why argue over something so small like that?

2357715
True.

Also, great chapter, as always. Perfect how you integrated the season finale into the story's frame.

This story is certainly getting interesting!

The pacing is a little off, insofar as how it tends to jump somewhat schizophrenically between the central character's emotions, feelings, actions and intentions, however it is starting to seem like the structure reflects the nature of the character itself.

Is this going towards a peilli/dash and kuva/jack pairing or is my reading of this completely off?

2357728
Thanks man. I thought the finale presented some opportunities, and was glad I could incorporate them.
2357734
I would prefer not to give out spoilers, but your reading into the story and determining a particular pair is very interesting.

2357756
No. Peili/Twilight ship is best Evolutionary Ideals ship.

2357775
Honestly, that was my original intention. Whether or not it will still happen remains to be seen.

2357794
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m7k4xxwxn11rwcc6bo1_500.gif

hopefully that is just mentally.

2357802
Peili x Roseluck!
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/25197364.jpg

2357826
Image doesn't work

2357832
http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/25197364.jpg

2357866
Still no work

LEPShot? I've not finished reading the story yet, but I just wanted to address a certain rhyme HERE, rather than in my final proofread, since it's taking up a rather large section of my proofreading article.

… “I know who and what you are, Peili. Twilight told me of your origin, but I do not care, frankly.”

Okay. Normally I wouldn’t have a problem with the exaggerated line, given Zecora’s character trait of rhyming, but I’ve gotta bring this up: There are three main ‘lines’ she says, with the second line being between the first period and the second comma. However, the second line has the same syllables as the first, making the rhyme sound too stretched out as a result.

I guess I should do what I normally do and consider a substitution. Let’s see. For Zecora lines, I’d need a rhyme to replace it, but still say the same thing… Okay, maybe this:

I know who and what you are, Peili. Although I care not, Twilight told me.

I just posted the simplest thing I could, that would require the least amount of changes.

I would probably just stare at Twilight and shower her with questions, makes a change eh? That's usually her job on a lot of stories :3

That's pretty much the same reaction I had to AliTwi.
(Twilicorn sounds stupid.)

2354047 Whiiiiiich means they kill the captured ponies. *hoists up several more tanks of DDT* I'll have em all wiped out by Wednesday!

2358265 Hold up, mate! Your theory and his both made the idea implausible, though not impossible. Besides, I'm not about to let 'ya leave without takin' this to LEPShot's blog... Heh... You're too good to simply let a debate opportunity slip away!

Woah woah woah... Twilicorn? That is... um... well I won't make any assumptions right now, but I am going to withhold my enthusiasm about this chapter until the next one comes out. It might be good, and I hope it would, so write twilicorn responsibly and cautiously. Anything short of a perfectly interesting twilicorn will ruin the story - as it's still a pretty touchy topic for the fandom.

2357794
not gonna lie, I would love to see him shipped with Dash. The drama from him admitting to being a changeling would be huge, and would provide a lot more story telling material before you had to move on to a new arc. Plus, you've already got Rainbow hot under the collar for him, imaging how quickly she would bail when she found out. She'd have some sort of self-war with herself over staying with him(loyalty and all that jazz) or not being okay with him being a changeling.

There is just so much potential from that ship. More-so from what I've seen that with Twilight.

2357794
I'm a fan of your original intention. Yup.
Either way, good chapter, interesting turning canon events into the story here.

I liked it up until chapter 5... I am not sure how well you will be able to handle the retconning of alicorn twilight. I will still continue reading for the time being.

Did you feel pressured to make twilight an alicorn for no reason? That is something that I really dislike. There is no reason to force changes in your story just because the show changed a little.

WELL AIN'T THAT JUST LIKE A PONY! LEAVE THEM FOR A DAY AND THEY GO N' TURN THEMSELVES INTO A DANG ALICORN! BACK IN MA' DAY, PONIES WOULD STAY SILENT AN EAT GRASS LIKE GOOD LIL ANIMALS

In all seriousness though, that was the perfect way to keep this within Season 3 canon. I didn't see that coming at all. This story now has credibility as far as canon goes.

Now, are you going to take the "Twilight in Canterlot" route or the "Ponyville is Home" route What you choose will seriously affect the story. I expect that Princess Celestia's two plans are related somehow. Revealing Peili to the world might prove troublesome with Twilight as an alicorn. An alicorn with changeling sympathies could potentially play into the Equestrians' paranoia given previous events.

Good thing this is an april's fool chapter, and the whole Twilicorn thing never happened... right?

Ah, I was looking for something to stave off fatigue… MARVELOUS!

… “when she see’s” – ‘see’s’ should be ‘sees’.
… “awake. “ I didn’t” – There is a space between the quotation mark and ‘I’.
… “signalling his agreement” – ‘signalling’ should lose an ‘l’, to become ‘signaling’.
… “next?”
“Well” – You didn’t double-space the line, here. It’s just single-spaced.
… “‘pondering the ground” – Perhaps ‘pondering while staring at the ground’ would be better. I know what you meant, but it’s… not grammatically correct.
… “of the Everfree forest” – Seeing as how it’s a location, it should actually be ‘Everfree Forest’, so both words should be capitalized.
… “when Changeling’s shifted” – Since this is directly explaining a trait of the Changeling race, remove the apostrophe.
… “stopped it’s rapid shaking” – ‘it’s’ should be ‘its’.
… “in every house’s windows” – Despite it being technically correct, since it’s not only pluralized, but also possessive of ‘the windows of the house’, it’s actually ‘houses’’, with the apostrophe at the end of the word.
… “caught sight of my wooden floor” – Peili, that wooden floor is NOT yours!
… “and I swear, my” – This isn’t a normal error, but it’s still worthy of notice: The narrative is past-tense, but ‘swear’ is a present-tense word. Consider replacing it with ‘swore’.

Okay, onto the review aspect: This completely caught me off guard, but perhaps it’s because it seems like you connected it to the events of the show rather suddenly. The interesting thing is, if I wanted to get critical, I still couldn’t, because it can all be owed up to “Peili’s a heavy sleeper”.

I mean, jeez, a full DAY!? … Okay, okay, suspension of disbelief in effect, and legitimately used. I didn’t see it coming, but I know a well-played hand and a clever twist of events when I see them. Bravo, for that, at least… I still get to pick a few more nits: I’m vindictive like that.

The events taking place seem to be less and less, as well. That’s probably what threw me off the most with this chapter: This wasn’t much of a learning experience, as most of it had been with Peili’s point of view. I guess it’s not exactly a BAD thing, but it just felt like ‘filler’.

Not even “Plot-relevant filler” like the bathtub scene in the previous chapter, but just… walking out of the forest with playful anger. You could have brought up the relationship between Peili and Kuva, but…

… You know what? I don’t think it’s right for me to keep pointing out a wasted opportunity. Yeah, it happens, but the plots you have taken the time to develop, have developed very nicely. You could bring so much more into the story, but… it’s hard to say this without feeling like I’m being harsh.

… Well, might as well just get it out in the open: A successful author should be able to make the reader feel like their time has not been wasted, but simply “well-used”. The previous four chapters had several moments in which I felt completely immersed in the story, but… this was nowhere near as good. I was immersed, but then you throw in what was happening without Peili.

See, this was where the problem was: You ever miss something really important, then get told about how amazing the thing that you missed was? It felt kinda like that. Peili spent a chapter walking through a forest, meanwhile, in PONYVILLE, what was going on? Well, we know… and it seems like Peili really missed out.

When your main character, your main focus, is meant to ‘guide’ the audience, never try to bring up the idea of something more interesting than what’s going on with them, is going on somewhere else: It makes the audience feel like they missed out, because your lead character wasn’t involved in it. I won't say "NEVER DO THIS AGAIN!" because it allowed for a suitable twist... but you could have put in a bit more of something, to make us feel like more happened with Peili than that which actually happened in this chapter in particular.

... THIS should have been posted with Chapter 4, rather than 3 and 4 at once, with this chapter being posted seperately. It would have made it feel like more had happened in the course of a single day. I think that, by the end of the day, that's the best advice I could offer... but it's nothing more than a memory now, yet take heed in your writing, LEPShot: The twist was great, but it was barely worth the course of the chapter, considering how little had happened with your lead Changeling.

2358395 My sole purpose here is to justify changeling xenocide. Which I would do no matter what, actually...

Sooooo.... *runs away cackling with a huge sprayer on his back* DIE CHANGELING FILTH!!!

2361018
images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20080902204344/aceattorney/images/3/3b/Holdit.gif

With regards to what Changelings are capable of or incapable of, you haven't proven anything! You have stated the illogical nature when it comes to Changeling conversion, but if Pinkie Pie can be used for anything, it's that logic is not always prominent in Equestria!

You'll need a bit more than a few "that's silly!" explanations to shake this bogey! Going back to 'Mare and Stallion', what if the cocoon argument applied, and while one slowly fed off of the love of Mare's proximity, the other two Changelings took the time to use hypnosis as a means of getting more information from the Stallion regarding their relationship? They could then relay the argument to the 'impersonator' to make their identity more convincing?

Feeding 'Stallion' would hardly be a problem, either, considering how varied the pony diet is, and how plentiful certain foods are. So now that's enough to feed off their target for a long period of time, AND to keep their captive pony in their cocoon without dying.

Recall one other important fact: At this point of the story, reproduction has yet to be brought up. With this all in mind, the idea of 'conversion' has yet to be destroyed, especially if it's faster than giving birth to multiple infant Changelings that would need to be given time and sustenance to grow.

2361126 Then please explain to me how conversion works. I too can demand proof on concept.

I have explained why it's illogical. Give me a logical argument for it.

2361150 Conversion will produce an adolescent changeling that will be ready to serve the hive under their queen's orders, faster than raising a young Changeling, who would also require energy to be given to them by other Changelings several times, under the premise that love can indeed be converted into magical energy.

In addition, the act of feeding the hive as well as increasing their numbers in one sole operation would be more efficient than having multiple changelings born at once and needing to train and feed them without them doing so, themselves.

Going to the 'Mare and Stallion' argument, let's say there's a small village of 20 ponies: ten mares, ten stallions. Now, let's say all ten stallions get taken overnight by two changelings, each, and replaced by a changeling.

Keep those numbers in mind: 10 mares, 10 stallions, 30 changelings. Now, how would conversion be less suitable than a birthing process? Give conversion, you've got ten battle-ready soldiers. Once done, simply remain with the mares while the now FOURTY changelings are searching for new targets.

Oh, and if they find another town, that's 15 ponies they can take while 10 changelings feed off of the love of ten unsuspecting mares from the village. Of course, once new 'sources' are found, the mares can also be taken back to the hive and converted into Changelings: Fifty total, now: meaning 20 ponies can be gone after instead of 15.

See how it adds up?

Ha! His mind broke.

2361222 And that totally ignores the energy requirements for the transformation. Not to mention a fair number of other considerations, including the MIND and/or SOUL of the pony. What becomes of it? If they have only organic minds and no souls, this means their entire neural anatomy must be reconfigured. That takes time. And it would reduce the new changeling to a newborn level of intelligence.

If they have souls, well then there's a titanic issue to resolve there. You then have to address the issue if the changelings can directly alter souls or remove them from the body and replace them with a changeling soul. If they are reduced to a blank slate, then they have to be retrained regardless.

It's more than just simple arithmetic. There is the process and the factors entering into it to consider. It's quite easy to say 'take that mountain down, for there is only one mountain' than to actually achieve the feat.

Too often people underestimate the difficulty of a task because they do not comprehend the scope of materials and effort which go into its completion.

I would point to the artificial construction of a single living cell as an example. To the average person, it would seem an easy enough thing given the state of science. But the complexity of that one little organism is such that to this day we still do not have the full picture of all the biochemical processes going on within and what is needed to put one together from its component parts.

You note how slow and tedious natural reproduction would be... yet fail to comprehend that if even from their own kind it takes time and effort to raise another, how then can it be easier to convert the dissimilar body of an unrelated organism? The shortcut of 'magic' is simply thrown out as a cheap mechanism to make it happen without any consideration to how such magic would even complete the task set before it.

And too, if magic is the answer, then could magic not also drastically accelerate the natural rate of growth of changeling young, programming all they need to know directly from their parent(s) as they mature? And then again, the need for conversion and all the questions it elicits are avoided. It's back to simply draining and killing the ponies. Or, even more gruesome, converting their flesh into basic organic matter which they ingest to craft larvae/nymphs or the construction materials they exude, which would be as basic a process and rendering animal fat and bone, requiring very little energy expenditure, disposing of witnesses, and gaining useful materials all at once.

If one loophole exists without explanation, then certainly it's justified to propose any number of other loopholes, equally as baseless which utilize the same unfounded mechanism.

Besides, even with conversion, the original pony is dead. Nothing remains of what they were. It's no different than if they'd been consumed from the the inside out by a parasite. If the new drones are loyal to Chrysalis, then certainly the pony is gone, for it would never have served her if its own mind remained intact.

So, in either case, the changelings are evil, murderous parasites. And now, if you'll excuse me, I must get back to the extermination.

hmmm interesting adaptation to the series
Very goo written too! Keep up the nice job =D

Someone seems to ave missed a coronation here^^ Kinda suprised that Zecora didnt mention that though.