Chapter Four: After Morning
The Nutcracker
Chapter Four
After Dream
Twilight awoke early that morning with a cold sweat. She looked around her blanket, but nothing was found. The Nutcracker was still missing. As she got up and headed towards the ball room, she thought about the dream she’d just had, and wondered if her toy really did become a rat. Once she entered, she got her answer when seeing Celestia herself lifting a dead rat from under the table. She looked over at Twilight and said, “Found him with scraps, and he has germs. I’ll dispose of this while you prepare for our studies.”
Twilight nodded with her lips lowered slightly. She watched Celestia leave, and searched the room after words, hopeful to find her toy, but even after years of being in the palace, she’d never find it again. And Twilight was unable to differentiate whether the dream she had that night was an actual dream, or something more. She asked about the rat towards Celestia, but her mentor said she didn’t know. This was, unfortunately, a lie.
Celestia had been guarding The Nutcracker knowing full well what he was. Anypony that ever had it in their room while sleeping often caught themselves having dreams about him, and some never awoke from those dreams after enough time slipped by. Celestia had been battling the rat for generations, but the beast had finally gone into hiding, and the alicorn needed a way to lure him out. Twilight was the only one who was pure enough to catch his hungry eye.
In time, Twilight would forget about the dreams she had along with The Nutcracker, but at the same time, Celestia wasn’t exactly positive The Nutcracker was truly dead.
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You made a typo. It should say "cover art" I think.
interesting concept, not my thing, but very cool idea and good take on how to exactly mash up the nutcracker and ponies. not some "suddenly nutcracker invades equestria out of now where" type of thing
2050498 Fixed, thanks!
I see this story title and I'm intrigued.
I see it's by Art Inspired and I'm immediately suspicious.
Now that I see it, I'm not as suspicious. But I still won't be reading it.
This was completed fast... you have lot of caffeine in your systemm?
2050588 Actually I've been working on it since december.
2050594 okay thaat explains it... i thought you went on a hyper rampage and tried to make a story... i don't know how the story is but i don't really want to read it right now so i might not know what is in it
2050618 But... like, the effortthat was put into it...
ARGH! Why did you have to write this!? It looks interesting and gook! Now I am forced to add this to my reading list because of how good it probably is!
It's not christmas you silly filly.
2050665 It doesn't say anything about christmas.
2050672 HANUKAH
2050630 must resist pic! Must resist pic! MUST RESIST PIC OF CUTENESS! damn... fine i will like it if it is regretfully
Hmm I shall read this later.
I love it!
2050672 Where's the crossover tag?
2051828 It's technically not a crossover.
2051976 Isn't it a crossover of a very popular play of the same name and plot?
2052083 Yes, but this is, like, different, and hard to explain...
Wonderfully written!
2052259 Thanks!
I'll fully read this when I'm not distracted by everything on the planet.
But I'll be quite honest when you told me the title of your story was called "The Nutcracker" and I saw the gore tag. I was prepared to go running of screaming into the night.
2052351 It isn't that gory, only SOME blood, but not much.
2052361
Yeah, but when you put the word Nutcracker and gore in the same boat.
I'll be the first to jump overboard.
2052381
I hadn't thought of that!
2052387
Though the moment you look at the Cover-art properly those thoughts immediately vanish so it's not a threat to the story.
2052406 Indeed. It is dark, but that was to be expected. The Nutcracker has been altered many times as a story. this is my alteration. I'd hoped for better comments, or a review at least...
Could you get the WRITE guys in here, tell them I want comments, and opinions on my story, maybe?
2052423
I see what you did there
And I'll see who I can bring down upon you.
2052442 Thanks!
What a charming little story.
2052859 Thank you very much!
2052865If you were to join Authors Helping Authors, I'd be allowed by their rules to do a thorough review of the fic.
Stylistically, I find that it reads like a children's story, but the content is at a higher level. It's interesting, but I can't say I'm a fan of it.
I'm not sure I understand the premise--Celestia is fighting the rat, who she knows is The Nutcracker, and for some reason gives it to Twilight to lure him out of hiding? Where's he hiding? The story implies that he's only able to enter the dreams of ponies near him, and if he's The Nutcracker...
I'm confused.
I liked the idea behind the second chapter, how Twilight was fighting on the wrong side, but it wasn't as developed as I thought it would be. The third chapter wasn't very intriguing to me because of this.
Not sure if I feel the story is too short or something, I just think it's kind of underdeveloped.
2053851 When I write the sequel, maybe things will clear up...
Why do ponies need nutcrackers when they have hooves?
(And once more Alondro injects logic where it doesn't belong!)
Never read or seen the nutcraker before, but what better way than ponies? I will enjoy reading this.
dtlux1
2054124
Nice twist with the nutcracker story
Okay, you want a review, you got one.
I have no clue if this follows the original story of the nutcracker, or not. The story itself was nice, a bit short, could use a bit more description. I really wanted to know what kind of tree that was. The grammar is awesome, as far as I can tell. I have one story detail that bugs me, why human? A pony nutcracker makes more sense.
To be honest, I don't have much to say on this story, because there is not much here. If you made each chapter a thousand words a piece(there's description back to bite you) it might have been a better story, in my opinion.
Overall, the stories not bad, could be better, but its not bad. I'd say... 6/10 diamond pickaxes.
Well, that's all I have to say on it. Let me know if my review is any good.
I must say, I enjoyed this. It was a fun read, and enjoyable to finish. My only issue is that the whole things needs a good once over for errors. I've seen enough that I've lost count. It is wonderfully told though, and a wonderful read.
I hope to see more of your stuff soon.
Change every single passed to past and every past to passed and the grammar will be almost perfect. You mix the two up quite frequently. Not bad, a little too short for my taste, but still enjoyable.
Okay, I've read this and now...
I'm having mixed reactions, but still, a very interesting story in the end.
I just hope the sequel ends the story somewhat.
2054500 I appreciate it very much! Thank you!
And I'd just like thank each person that took there time to read it!
2055608 Good, someone noticed.
2055703 GAH! Can't edit!
Well that was an...entertaining read? I don't really know. I mean it wasn't bad by any stretch of the imagination but still...something just doesn't sit right with me. It might just be the fact it is technically a crossover with the nutcracker yet isn't. It might be the fact it strays from the actual plot yet isn't au. IT might just be that I am still having trouble reading this in the different style you wrote it. I did like it though and would definitely read the sequel. Also it's strange i'm not getting notifications of the replies.
2055729
2055760 I don't know. This is the first notification of a response i got from this story. and yet you've responded 3 times.
2055784
2055846 And now notifications are working. Fimfiction is so confusing.