• Member Since 1st Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen 5 hours ago

Metool Bard

A weaver of tales who enjoys a good story. What more is there to say, really?



Rarity is not a pony to get her hooves dirty, but when it comes to her sister, she can make an exception. So when the Diamond Dogs kidnap Sweetie Belle and try to blackmail her, she is determined not to take it lying down. Wallowing in melodrama, maybe. But certainly not lying down.

Little does she know that while putting their plan into action, the Diamond Dogs manage to get mixed up with a creature nastier than they are. A creature that may spell doom for Equestria if it has its way...

Part I of the Orthrus Trilogy.

Chapters (12)
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Comments ( 51 )

Patience, patience. He'll show up soon enough. :raritywink:

Why wasn't Sweetie Belle with her parents?

Huh. I actually didn't think of that. :twilightoops:

I might explain it in a later chapter if I can fit it into the narrative, but for now, I'd say that Sweetie Belle staying with Rarity instead of her parents is not out of the ordinary.

20% cooler indeed. I can't wait to see how this plays out

Will Sweetie Belle have a fighting role in this story? Or would you be spoiling the story if you told me?

1914711 Yeah, I probably would be spoiling things if I revealed that. You'll just have to wait to find out. :raritywink:

noo this int real :raritydespair:

i cnt wait for more chapters :coolphoto:

That explains why Cerberus escaped in the first place he was searching for the Chimera.

1928083 Seeing as this takes place way after that particular episode, I don't think that explanation would make a whole lot of sense. :unsuresweetie: It's an interesting thought, though.

hey give it breath mints

uh oh Rarity is bringing it :pinkiehappy:

noo Run Sweetie Belle :pinkiegasp::raritycry:

Keep up the story, but i still feel that if you had done longer chapters it would have flowed a little better...ad you could

Whilst Rarity may have a warcry :raritycry:, why would Twilight leave Rarity to battle alone? :facehoof:
And what about some of the other fighters? :ajbemused::rainbowdetermined2::pinkiesmile::flutterrage:

1943478 It was a calculated decision. If they both took on the Chimera, the Diamond Dogs would get to Tartarus. Twilight knew that, and she also had Rarity's reassurance that she'd be okay. There's more to this as well, but that'd be giving the game away. :raritywink:

As for the rest of the Six, well, I simply couldn't find a way to fit them into the narrative. :twilightsheepish: I did play around with the idea of having them all investigate when Sweetie Belle was first kidnapped, but I couldn't really make it believable, so it ended up just being Twilight and Spike.

Go Rarity go :pinkiehappy::flutterrage::raritywink:
Take em on:flutterrage:
I love that Pic of the story ....:heart::heart:


Alls well that ends well.

So, will :duck: take :unsuresweetie: to the spa - theres a comedy fic in that to be sure.:raritycry:

And spike's plan saved the day - he deserves a number 25 :moustache:

1953851 Perhaps, perhaps. :ajsmug: I'll have to give the idea some thought. But yeah, Rarity bringing Sweetie Belle to the spa does sound like a pretty funny idea.

applause yeaa wow The crusaders ina spa :pinkiegasp:

*Sweetie Belle-rophon* I see what you did thar:twistnerd:

2003552 Honestly, that pun was the inspiration for this story (or at least parts of it). Seriously. :twilightblush:

This...is going to go badly for the dogs. *rubs hands together evilly* I can't wait.

Awesome fic mate. Very exciting and fun to read. I hope to see more from you.

This was pretty good! :pinkiehappy: Very entertaining, and with a great use of Greek mythology, and I love Greek mythology.

Good job :pinkiesmile:

2020596 The funny thing is I always had a nagging feeling that Greco-Roman mythology was at least semi-canon after Twilight mentioned Tartarus in the episode It's About Time. And since in the original Greek myth Bellerophon rode on a pegasus to fight the Chimera, it just sorta fit. Plus, I couldn't resist making that pun out of Sweetie Belle's name. :derpytongue2:

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

This ain't ROCK 'N' ROLL! This is GENOCIDE!

2453376 I'm sorry, what? Did that have anything to do with this story whatsoever? :rainbowhuh:

2453399 Well, duh, because this story features Diamond Dogs prominently. Brush up on your knowledge of awesome music, man.

But all right, references aside, some comments on the story itself:

It's an interesting idea, having Rarity rescue her sister from the Diamond Dogs. But the execution... well, I think it's much too short. So much epic stuff happens in so few words that it all feels very rushed, and the seriousness of the situation doesn't really get across. Especially the part where the Chimera explains his evil plan to the Diamond Dogs suffers from this - the plan is too big and too epic to just drop it on our heads like that! These things need to be built up, revealed slowly.

I honestly think that this story would work much better if it were forty or fifty thousand words long. In some parts it reads more like a plot summary than an actual story.

Oh, and one other thing: the fact that Rarity holds her own just fine against the Chimera strains suspension of disbelief, given that the same Chimera just fought off a bunch of Royal Guards without much trouble.

2455325 I will admit, this was a lot shorter than I had originally intended, and there was a lot more that I wanted to do, mainly involving Orthrus. That's why I extended this story into the Orthrus Trilogy. The fact of the matter is that the scenes as I wrote them just flowed one into the other, and I didn't want things to drag out. Plus, I was focusing more on having everything make sense than anything else.

In story, I would argue that the Chimera is meant to be an overconfident idiot. In the rest of the Orthrus Trilogy, it's revealed that the whole thing was Orthrus's plans, not the Chimera's. For all of its planning and scheming, it makes a lot of mistakes in execution; the least of which being dropping the plan on the Diamond Dog's heads without any precedent, and the greatest of which being that it thought all of its enemies were dumber than it was.

As for Rarity's battle with the Chimera, well, I honestly tried to make it a balanced fight. That and there was a subtle contention that the Chimera is better at fighting an entire hoard of enemies than it is in one-on-one duels. But I can see how that one was easy to miss. :duck:

All the same, I thank you for this candid review. :twilightsmile:

Now we find out what a sharp diamond can do to a diamond dog's brain.

I'll see your chimera and raise you a draconequus.

Awesome. I read this story in one go and found it to be funny, a bit suspenseful, and overall most excellent. Can't wait to read the sequels. :rainbowdetermined2:

2980284 Thanks. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :twilightsmile:

You get the idea for the chimera from episode 18? (Our was it 17?)

4273251 Actually, no. Believe it or not, I wrote this back in January of 2013 (as evidenced by the time stamp); long before the episode Somepony to Watch Over Me came out. It's a pretty neat coincidence though. :ajsmug:

"Oh, of all the worst things that can happen, this is THE, WORST, POSSIBLE, THING!" cried Rarity.

Man I love when she says that:rainbowlaugh:

oh so very lonely in the comment section Lel

It's so weird reading this story about 2 years after Somepony To Watch Over Me aired.

...And now its even weirder, thanks to Slice of Life.

Before note: Twilight's "Oh what great tragedy has befallen the amazing Rarity":facehoof:
After note : "Oh...":twilightblush:
Great job with characterization, the fact that sweetiebelle being fillynapped adds to my investment in this story.

Aww a part of me was hoping to see a full size Spike fight the chimera to protect Rarity and her sister :applejackunsure:

Great story though :pinkiehappy:

Well things escalated quickly😲

I get the feeling things are being hammed up for the next chapter I'll just have to see if it refuses to deliver or not

Ehh many things that MLP takes from the Greek mythos and other mythologies tend to be completely different from what they originally were after all a tatzelwurm is a monster that is part snake and part large cat and Cerberus guarded the Greek after life which while it was called the underworld it was basically both heaven and hell because the people who deserved it got to live in comfort while the people who didn't deserve pleasure got fire and brimstone oh and the bunyip is from aboriginal mythology/ dream time and they were amphibious predators that while they were sometimes described as having dog like heads as the tricorned (which the thing in the episode had tusks not horns)bunyip had they were also described as having a body like a star fish and were said to be mostly found in lakes and I've been to one of the lakes that the aboriginals of the area believed to have a bunyip in it and it was called lake Tali khan the show changes a lot of things from what they were in their original mythos so you can be forgiven for this

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