• Member Since 18th Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Jul 20th, 2016

Archmage Ludicrous


Tiny humans. You are small. I crush. Crush like bugs. Voltswagon Bugs. Smaaaallllll.

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 51 )

:pinkiehappy: Brilliantly executed, though there was confusing sentence structures at times and I
m pretty sure I saw a few errors that need patching. I thoroughly enjoyed the read.

Comment posted by Archmage Ludicrous deleted Dec 21st, 2012

I thought that was really sweet! I think you captured Pinkie and AJ perfectly.i.imgur.com/EYLpq.png i.imgur.com/oa0BJ.png

I love AJ! This is a nice little vignette.

I hope you don't mind, but I liked this fic so much I have put together an audio version on YouTube.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

This story is a gem. It is absolutely brilliant (if not flawless, per se). I am going to make sure as many people know about it as I can.

> starting with the weather
ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)

Alright, stuffing down my irritation and reading anyway.

… This was good.

You know, there were a few places where I was all prepared to be disappointed — once you introduced the hat tasting like Apple Family, I was waiting for the story either to veer into comedy (Applejack suddenly no longer acting like herself) or absurd tragedy (the dunk in the river washing the hat's history away). It did neither. And just as I was about to write it off as a missed opportunity, you snuck up behind me and closed strong.

I didn't think playing it straight could work, but you made it work. Hats off. … So to speak. :ajsmug:

Sent here by 3447942. What a great story, wonderful job of writing Pinkie.

Yeah, this is a great interplay between two characters who haven't had much interaction in the show... yet. :pinkiehappy:

3037016

3449707

3447942

Well I'll be. Some people who think my writing is sort of decent.

I'm very flattered, you all. I've been on quite the hiatus, and I'm slowly getting around to writing something new. Cheers! (Hopefully it will be better reading than this: I'm a Creative Writing class wiser this time.)

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

3499328
I'm glad you're still around, anyway. :)

Wow. That was... that was actually perfectly executed. I'm not even kidding. I've seen amazing execution and good and decent execution, but this is perfect.

Mind, execution doesn't come to mind first with longer stories. I found myself wondering just after typing that whether my praise was valid, to compare a 1k short to Lolita or 1984 - but hey, the two are different beasts altogether. This was well-conceptualized, nicely voiced, and perfectly executed. I'd love to see if you have longform work which holds up as well. Seriously, good job, author.

3523694

Thank you!

I've been looking for the time to write a new story, something somewhat longer, but I am still looking for an editor, and my progress and inspiration as so far have been running a little scant. So far, I only have a rough prologue chapter out of a planned 4-5 chapters. I'm still searching for a way to make it roll, and I've been thinking of abandoning it and looking for a new idea...

I'm looking for some people to at least preread my first chapter and a half to see if it has potential, or if I should scrap it for a new idea. Would you be interested?

3523838
You've asked me at the best time possible. Sure, bounce 'em off me, and I'll see what I can do. :twilightsmile:

That last line. Brilliant.

One of the nicest shorts I've read on this site.

It was just Applejack being Applejack is a wonderful line.

A clever expansion on such an obvious (and very slightly gross) observational detail. Clever, and then finally, sweet.

3736880
It is, isn't it?

3733369 3736880 3737891 Agreed. The last line is wonderful. The taste of the hat was brilliant, and AL resisted the temptation to overplay it.

I love how you captured Pinkie's mind.talking is a free action, all that.

Charming. I think this is a nice, emotionally-fueled demonstration of how much Pinkie cares, but also how she blows things out of proportion because she cares.

This was a really cute and fun story.

First thing is, I liked the way you portrayed Pinkie Pie. She's not some airhead, like other authors seem to portray her, she is actually very thoughtful and is a very deep character and I am so glad you portrayed that in the story. She is much smarter than anyone suspects and I loved that you captured that.

The situation was pretty basic, but it was still fun. It took something simple and for Pinkie Pie, that was a big thing. And it felt like something Pinkie Pie would do because that's who she is as a character. She would jump into a river to save something for somepony that somepony thought was no big deal. And that was captured so brilliantly in this story.

The whole being able to taste the Apple Family was weird to me. I know I probably shouldn't look into this that much, because it is Pinkie Pie, but... I still thought it was weird and it made me think of another fan fiction, that I really wish I hadn't read, but I'm getting off topic. A little thing, but still weird.

This story was very enjoyable. I enjoyed reading it. It was a lot of fun. There were a lot of grammar errors that I found and a good proofreader and some time will fix that right up. Again, great story. I enjoyed it. I hope to see more from you in the future. Take care. :pinkiehappy:

This was extremely sweet, charming and beautifully written. Well done.:twilightsmile:

3499328
I absolutely loved this! Wonderful characterization of both characters. A job well done!
(although, to be honest, I think I spend too much time around shipfics...near the end, I was almost expecting them to kiss....):twilightsheepish:

4016384

If you were expecting a shipfic, I'm thinking of doing a Pielight ship. One of the harder ships to do, in my opinion.

Amazing. Not many people are able to capture the inner mechanisms of Pinkie's mind, but you did it. :pinkiehappy:

3784542

Actually it might've been that it tasted old, used, something thats been around for quite sometime.

Odd as it sounds, but some antiques do have different 'smells' and tastes that can show age.

Also she just said it tasted funny, not that it tasted of apple family.

Well done.
Keep up the good work. Deus tecum.

Ponyville wasn't acting incredibly out of the ordinary. The sun shone brightly, Celestia's light smothering the land in joviality.

Reminds me of when I tried to write my own story.

Pinkie liked to think of all kinds of things, but most of all, she loved to think of nothing.

Taoism, ladies and gents.

Of course, not paying attention to where one is going has certain downsides. Pinkie realized this, and always made certain to apologize whenever she bounced into anything.

I can see her falling into a ravine one day.

She tasted kind ponies and harsh ponies, smart ponies and dull ponies, strong ponies and weak ponies.. But most of all, she tasted the years beyond count, a hat with age unfathomable. And she tasted Apples. She tasted Apples, the Apples, all of the Apples all together. Pinkie Pie realized something; this hat was not Applejack's. It was the Apple Family's, and was a hat that would never belong to anypony -- it belonged to itself.

Outwardly awkward, but interesting once I stop being silly.

Stopping herself before she said anything, Pinkie Pie shook her head. It was just Applejack, being Applejack.

Ha, nice reversal.

Anyne #31 · Mar 3rd, 2014 · · 10 ·

Her stetson isn't an heirloom, she won it bobbing for apples (go to 0:48)
[youtube=http://youtu.be/uWcxeBCOst4?t=48s]

Came across this by pure chance!

Glad I did, it was pretty impressive for a small read.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Oops, almost forgot to do this...

Half thought it was in already, though...

24.media.tumblr.com/a257ad5165644b1f79354634dfdee284/tumblr_mqo61uYbwk1rj6vd5o1_400.png

~Skeeter The Lurker

4025342
cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/500x/46709338.jpg
maybe it is a heirloom to the author.
besides, i haven't seen anyone who used that video.

4025904 Well, there's canon and head canon (which I don't like)

4027572

You'll note that this fic is several months older than that video.

It would be impossible for me to use anything aside from head canon regarding the topic seeing as the canon did not exist at the time I wrote this.

4025342 Yes, because if a random video said it it must be true in every cannon.

4030250 canon not cannon:twilightsmile:

4030273 right, what you said.

Just saw your interview on the site's blog today. Your way of understanding Pinkie is really creative and makes a lot of sense. Always good to read character studies, no matter which pony, but Pinkie tends to be especially hard. This was also a really great way to put said understanding into action. Gonna have to read some of your other stuff, too.

I just now got around to reading this and the episode "Somepony to Watch Over Me" gave me something to think about. In that episode we see that the Apples have a full closet of nothing but bows and hats. So I thought up of a bit of headcanon:

"Shortly after THE Apple family hat came into possession of the Apple family the owner liked it so much he bought a replacement but never told anypony about it. The next pony who inherited the hat (unaware of the replacement) also bought a replacement and no other pony found out about it. This went on for several generations until one day the Apples noticed there were a lot of hats around.

The Apples decided to keep getting replacements whenever it was handed down as a tradition, since everypony knew it wouldn't last forever. Applejack won her replacement in an apple bobbing contest."

I usually try to leave a somewhat comprehensive analysis on fics I've read, but I think doing so with this one would just be a crime.
Really, the fic's so simple, but so good; the characters are as precise as they could be, and the narration compliments that perfectly. There's no overplaying things, or underplaying them – it achieves exactly what it sets out to, nothing more, nothing less. It's like drawing a perfectly straight line on a chalkboard in one motion.

That said, I do have two quibbles:
There's a bit of repetition of 'turning' and 'current' in the paragraph where Pinkie gets out of the river, and

She tasted kind ponies and harsh ponies, smart ponies and dull ponies, strong ponies and weak ponies.. But most of all, she tasted the years beyond count, a hat with age unfathomable.

missed one dot there.

But it's exceptional otherwise. :ajsmug:

I did end up analyzing it anyway, right? :facehoof:

Short, but strangely effective. Your interpretation of Pinkie's thought processes intrigue me, and for that alone I really liked this.

enjoyed scribbler's reading of this. short and sweet. a wonderful little fic

They never did pick up that hat. Some say it still lies there to this day.

When I first read this story, I had a laugh and didn't think too much of it.
But I find myself back here again. I like this story. It's a good story: short, sweet and deep, with some great lines throughout it.

"Applejack, being Applejack":raritywink:

Me: how come Pinkie break the fourth wall?? How can she do this? How can she do that? What she did just now doesn't make sense..

:pinkiehappy:what can I say, it's just Pinkie, being Pinkie..

How come AJ played the guitar without any fingers? How come she's brave enough to send a ' I didn't learn anything' letter to Celestia?

:ajsmug: what can I say, it's just AJ being AJ..

Love, love, love it!!!

A nice little thing, this. Very simple premise (ie turning about the usual "Pinkie being Pinkie" perspective) but it does work. The narrative style does feel a bit old-fandom now, but there's nothing you could have done about that in 2012! Liked.

I reviewed this story as part of Recommend Story Reviews #19!

My review can be found here.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!