You're not dead!

Oh, wow. That was a nice, satisfying conclusion. Very crunchy.

This is the greatest thing I've read on this site. I've never seen a story get me this excited when updates, I just drop everything I'm doing and read it. This gets my nomination for greatest mlp fan fiction ever!

This story was lots of fun from start to finish. Thanks a ton for writing it.

With a quick burst of movement, Dash’s assailant grabbed her head, thrust it back, and shoved her recently-expelled heart right back down her throat.

This line literally made me laugh out loud. Like... loudly, to the point where my sister called down from upstairs and asked me why I was laughing. I had to lie really quickly...

Dude, for real, this is now one of my favorite stories in this fandom. The dry, straight-as-hell way you played the humor was excellent. Seeing Rainbow Dash so blase about the entire thing was a bit off-putting at first, but then once we got into the swing of things, it all worked great. It's very rare to see a mature-rated story written like this. Sure, stories like Cheerilee's Garden have plenty of gore, but that story is so heartless and alien. It's not My Little Pony, it's Pastel-Colored Talking Ponies Get Murdered.

This, however, somehow managed to walk that fine line between serious and silly that allowed it to be gleefully absurd and delightfully demented, and all the while, what really draws us to the show itself remains amazingly intact: the characters. With the minor exception of them agreeing to not contact the Princess—which, admittedly, is a massive hurdle that most stories fall on(I'm looking at you, It's A Dangerous Business...)—All the characters behaved in a believable way. Pinkie sees it all as a joke, even when she's playing tire-swing with Dashie's intestines. Applejack's deadpan southern attitude of, "Well, this is how it is. Might as well go with it." Twilight being adorkably neurotic. It all works.

I've said this numerous times, both in the comments here and in passing to all of my friends, but this story reads like a sitcom written by Jeffrey Dhamer. In all seriousness, brother, damn great job. This is going on my front page in my box of Stories You Need To Read Or You Fail At Life. I'm pretty sure that Pulitzer doesn't have a category for Miniature Equines Being Disemboweled, so this is kind of a thankless endeavor, so let me just say this last thing:

Thank you. Thank you for the amazing story, brother.

Jesus Christ this was like a chapter of crossed. And just as awesome.

Damn, after a year it's finally over. That was a good ride.

3710722 No but Dash got a couple hundred more deaths

3710722 Or maybe he is, and just keeps respawning...

3710919 Rainbow Dash, eat your heart out

Wow. You sick, sick, bastard. This is one of the best over-the-top stories I have ever read, and I have to say, I doubt I'll come across something as well-written as this again. For the most part, you wouldn't expect people to be laughing at deaths that are like Final Destination on steroids and acid, but I laughed at least five times per chapter at the sheer ridiculousness of what was occurring. To that, I say good Excellent job, and thank you for another grand addition to my collection.

I can't believe you actually finished this. Honestly, I felt like you missed out, as the curses seemed to heavily favor Pinkie and Dash, where Twilight's curse aspect completely negated her benefits, and AJ didn't seem to gain anything at all (theoretically she survived things that should have killed her, but things were busting her apart that would have only given her a few bumps and bruises normally, so I consider that an overall loss) I was hoping to see the rest of the pony party learning to adapt and make the most of their curses, but really only Pinkie and Dash were managing that.

I can't say that I would want to read tons of stories like this, but it definitely rounds out a reading list. You did an excellent job of wrapping a gore fest in absurdity.

Man... Awesome story!

My one fear was that the crowd/mob would continue to kill her, and that Twilight and everyone fighting would stop the book, and the crowd/mob would kill the "Un-cursed" Dash

Good thing that didn't happen

Sad to see this end, but this is now one of my favorite complete stories on the site. I'd say more, but I think 3710919 said everything I was going to, and then some.

Excellent, excellent.

Sad to see that it's over, but god damn this story was amazing.

Poor bird indeed.

3710919 one of the best comments like all of yours. happy new year good sir

I guess things at the end got quite (puts on sunglasses) dead serious. YEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!

I have to say, this is one of the best stories I have ever read. The humor appealed to me perfectly, the gore was enough to get the point across without being exessive.
All in all, best fanfic I have ever read, it even competes with some acctual published books I have read.

Good show, sir. Good show.

10 out of 10

3711856 Yes, indeed I have, alot of times.

3712422 Mostly yes. Although I do not know why you ask me xD

She landed mouth-first on the horn. The pointed and polished stone tore through her skull, briefly emerging out the back of her head and then dipping back inside her body at the top of her spine. She slid forward, the horn tearing her insides in two and cracking her bones apart like so many fresh eggs. The horn’s tip eventually emerged again, now with a fresh red coat, just behind Dash’s left cutie mark. Her body continued down until her forehead was shoved up against Celestia’s. Pressure in her skull forced her brains out through her nose, where they dripped down onto Celestia’s eyes and mouth.

Not exactly what I meant, but close enough.

Death by telefrag, definitely did not see that coming.

And so, one of the last stories I have with "Send mail on update" ends. And it was glorious. Bravo

I hope you make something else with more Mystar, Loved That Guy!

I just read this in two sittings, and it was glorious.

I can tell you had a lot of fun writing this with all the varied ways she manages to be killed, the ways she tries to hide it, everyone's reactions to things, and so many of lines of funny dialog. That last chapter and ending were awesome, with the long gory brawl between Rainbow Dash and the pegasi, Rainbow coming up with a clever of way of beating Mystra, and a satisfying conclusion to boot.

It really does something special by precisely finding a good balance between seriousness, gore and comedic value. That is not something I find very often at all. What more can I say, it's humorous, gory, serious, and fascinating all the same time!

Spinning around, she saw the water churning behind her. Suddenly a large fin rose up from the deep and rushed straight at her.
“Huh… so that’s where that thing went.”

I knew that shark would come back! I knew it! This made me laugh more than any other moment!
This fic may be the second best black comedy I've ever enjoyed.

Holy. Shit. Read through that in one sitting: and it was GLORIOUS! Holy fuck the levels of gore in this was amazing: particularly this chapter.

Darn, I hate it when hilarious stories come to an end. Well I have to say though, well done. Best Random fic I have ever read. This is will go down as also one of my favorite fanfics of all time too. Looking forward to future stuff.

The thing I don't understand is how the shark ended up both in the fountain in Canterlot and in the stream in Ponyville. Also, why Rainbow Dash decided that a shark in the fountain wasn't something that needed attention. I'm honestly very perplexed about this.

Nonetheless, very great story.

3712755 Eh, why not.

3719198 Agreed. Nice name by the way.

that ending, bwahahahahahaha

Wow. What a ride.

Say, does anybody have a count for the number of Dash deaths in this story? Seems like a bunch. My best guess is 400, but that actually feels low now that I'm typing it.

And so it ends...

I have to say, this was an awesomely insane fic, man.

Very well done.

~Skeeter The Lurker

That was... very weird. Good, hilarious... but weird XD

Thank you all for the kind words. I'll be posting a journal in a moment to dish out what few thoughts I have left on this thing.

3719171

It was Twilight who accidentally teleported it away when she teleported herself to the fountain. I guess I didn't make it clear enough, though.

At the end of the day, all that matters is whos won and whos lost, and you, my faithful little Ponies... YOU WON! I'm proud to be your chairman!

Dat the end
This has been one of the greatest stories I have ever read on this site

And so it goes.

This... was the third greatest FanFic I've ever read, and second best complete.
Bravo, sir. Encore.

I remember that shark!

OH SHIT! I REMEMBER THAT SHARK!

Wait, it's finished? It's done?

That was a delight to read, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. It's staying on my Faves list. It's rare to see gore done comedically and yet not turn silly.

Why, did I find this horribly entertaining Great job, not usually my thing, but I was actually laughing at the situations!

Good finish, I haven't seen a story that ended it all by telefragging the BBEG until now. And your attention to detail with the gore basically gave me what I came here for, right until the end. Good stuff.

Holy shit, that was excessively gruesome.

Just read all this in one sitting.

Delightfully macabre.

the details thats what i like to read excellent

4573240

I never did get around to watching that, so I honestly have no idea.

I loved that. I really, really loved that. You need to make more of this; I've never found a gorefic as wonderful as this one.

-Spirit