Jetpack!
“Pinkie Pie, I’m bored.”
Rainbow Dash raised her head slightly to cross her forelegs, the soft grass below beginning to unpleasantly tickle the mare's underbelly as she and her best friend rested outside of Sugarcube Corner. The entire day, the two had been pranking the ponies of Ponyville to their heart's content. The most notable case had been when they made Cloud Chaser and Flitter believe that they had dreamed up their entire identities, and that they were actually supposed to be one another. The ensuing scene of Cloud Chaser speeding after Flitter as she attempted to “steal” her terrified sister's bow back was something that would be remembered for ages.
How Pinkie had gotten those two to think that with just five pieces of okra, two chalkboard erasers, and a broken quill, Rainbow would never know.
“Well, we could always go pranking again.” The smile that grew across Pinkie's face as the mare thought of ideas was almost contagious. “I thought of a really sneaky prank we could pull on Derpy. We'll take the frosting off of hundreds of cupcakes, then replace her emergency muffin supply with them! It would surely make the silly filly freak out!”
Rainbow had to admit, the idea was something worth thinking about—at least for the sheer sake of how off-the-wall it was. However, after thinking about it for a few seconds, she waved her forehoof dismissively. “Nah, I’m kinda pranked out for the day. As much as that sounds like a great idea, I think we should save it for next week.”
“Hmm...” Pinkie thought to herself once again. To many ponies, the thought of Pinkie actually thinking of a suitable plan of action was something to fear. In their eyes, a pony as crazy as Pinkie was scary enough when she was being random, but the possibility of the mare actually planning ahead and thinking out the complicated ideas? It looked like a nightmare waiting to happen. However, Rainbow knew that Pinkie was more insightful than she ever let on—even if just barely. In fact, many of her little gags and pranks that came off as random were actually well thought out plans with contingencies and fail-safe protocols built in throughout.
That wasn't to say Pinkie wasn't good at being random. In fact, that was where the mare shined.
“I know! We could go flying together!” Pinkie Pie yelled as she bounced to her hooves. It never got old to Rainbow how excitable and amazingly passionate that big ball of fluff was about each and every thing she did. They really did relate to each other in so many ways—they were both extreme extroverts, they were both very athletic, and they both did their very best to make each other smile more with each and every minute of the day. Of course, while Rainbow did love to have fun as much as possible, Pinkie tended to... wear on the pegasus every so often.
Regardless, being best friends with her was still freakin' awesome.
Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Pinkie, how are we going to go flying with each other? Unless you suddenly grow wings in the next few minutes, you aren't leaving the ground anytime soon.”
“Oh hush, silly filly billy willy!” Pinkie hopped her her hooves and began bouncing around—a ridiculously large smile forming on her face as she did so. “I have the super-amazing ornithopter that I can pull out and use to fly with you!”
With that statement, Rainbow Dash groaned. “Really, Pinkie? Really? That thing? That's not flying. That's more acting like you can fly. It's kinda cool that you made it sure, but everypony knows that it isn't real, true flying.”
It was harsh, sure—the way that Pinkie’s demeanor instantly fell a little bit was proof enough of that—but what was Rainbow supposed to do? The athletic pegasus wasn't gong to sugarcoat something like this to her. Better to—as some ponies put it—rip the bandage off quickly, rather than try and be slow about it.
Thankfully, Pinkie seemed to recover from the possible insult. It was only three seconds before the mare offered another idea. “Well... I could build you a jetpack that runs on cupcakes and fires Sonic Rainbooms.”
Now THAT was something Rainbow didn't imagine that the mare would say. Sure, Pinkie was random, but there was a difference between random and completely insane. Pinkie was... well... okay, Pinkie was probably at least a little insane, but the mare was still cognitive enough to not voice things like this without thinking about if it was even possible first.
Rainbow narrowed her eyes, and slowly began speaking again. “Pinkie... what are you talking about?”
It was as if the mare had this planned out all along, for as soon as the pegasus asked, the earth pony answered. “Well, the molecular structure of a typical cupcake, especially when cooked to absolute perfection, yields promising amounts of potential energy when compared to its weight. While this conclusion is provided without any actual field experiments, all of the equations that I have used have shown promising results.”
The pegasus blinked, “What?”
With a sigh, Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Apparently cupcakes are powerful fuel resources that have yet to be utilized by pony-kind.”
Again, the pegasus blinked. “What?”
With a beaming smile, Pinkie began to pull the pegasus along. “Don't worry, Dashie. With the way that you speed along all the time—zoom zoom zoom—you'll surely survive the ungodly forces that this sucker will put on your body when it launches you into the sky!”
For the third time in ten seconds, Rainbow blinked. “What?”
Hopping along with Rainbow in tow, Pinkie beamed. “Come on, I'll show you!”
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Rainbow asked as she adjusted the straps on the large metal machine that was strapped to her back—the straps slightly digging into her shoulders and barrel as she stood on Sugarcube Corner's balcony.
Pinkie continued to smile ecstatically at the results of her amazing technical expertise. “Of course, silly-head! I even had Twilight help me with the calculations. Of course, she was confused as to why I would need to have such complicated equations done, as well as how I was able to solve them with ease, but I just told her that my parents wanted to know a better method to break rocks!”
For what felt like the tenth time today, Rainbow blinked in confusion. “Really?”
“Of course not!” Pinkie did a quick backflip as she bounced around. “How the heck would Twilight think that rocket science would be used by a rock farmer to break rocks?”
“Riiiiiiiight,” was the only thing that Rainbow could think of to reply with. Shifting her shoulders again, she looked up into the sky—the deep blue expanse looking a lot more treacherous than ever before in her life. “I know I just asked, but are you sure this is a good id—”
“That's it, I’m bored!”
It was then that Pinkie pressed the little red button on the jetpack.
Rainbow was easily the fastest pegasus in Equestria—if not the entire world—so extreme forces upon her body at takeoff was something that she was used to. Not only that, but most of her tricks involved her spinning in the most violent ways, her normally fragile pegasus body being tossed and turned in ways that earthbound creatures could never imagine. However, every day the mare would push her frame to the limit, and every day she would come out without a scratch.
However, this was something different.
She was going to be scratched.
Whatever thought that was about to go through Rainbow's head at that moment was instantly squashed by her brain's grey matter pressing harshly against the back of her skull. The forces put onto her body by the extreme amount of power that this device put on her was something that contractors everywhere shudder at, all of them likely to plant stickers saying “CONDEMNED” on the jetpack. The forces were so powerful, that even he most skilled literary visionaries would be unable to think of a single good metaphor for what was happening to the pegasus' body, other than “squish”. They were so powerful, that after what was left of her body was harvested with sponges from a random cliff far off, biologists would shake their heads and say, “Liquefied.”
Her tongue extended three times its natural length as it flapped in the air. As this happened, the mare felt her speed increase more and more—her motions propelled by the endless stream of Sonic Rainbooms that were fired out of the rear of the device. Rainbow tried to scream, but her voice was trapped in the back of her throat. Whatever unfortunate creature that would end up in front of her after she finally slowed enough for her built up voice to finally escape her throat was surely going to have a fairly good legal case to sue her with.
As she traveled the expanse of Ponyville, the world both above and below her became nothing but a blur. It didn't matter though—any thoughts that she might have had were more akin to the oatmeal that she ate two days ago than actual organized thoughts. Her muscles turned to mush as the fierce wind tore at her skin. In fact, it felt as though her skin had been completely ripped off and replaced with a solid sheet of salt from the deepest mines that diamond dogs could dig.
She tried to push her hooves in front of her as if she was flying normally, but her valiant efforts were for naught—the air friction too strong for even the most developed of muscles to overcome. Instead, she was resigned to just keeping her eyes open—thank Celestia that Pinkie had the foresight to give her goggles—and attempt to pray to Luna that she would survive this terrible situation.
It only took three and a half seconds after launch for the mare to break the sound barrier, creating a Sonic Rainboom of her own to add to the dozens behind her. Not only was it the fourth time that she created a Sonic Rainboom, but it also—most likely at least—was the fastest that anypony in the history of the entire world had ever created one. If Rainbow had any control over her muscles at this point, she would’ve tried to divert her motion in any direction except for up up and beyond the borders of the small town.
Just as she felt like her face was being ripped off of her head, a deafening bomb exploded in the sky just behind her, rocketing the pegasus even faster.
KRAKKABOOM!
Rarity sipped from her tea cup, filled with the most delectable tea that the mare had been able to obtain. Sure, Dragon Dung Tea was the most expensive tea that anypony was able to purchase, but it was a treat that the mare insisted on enjoying at least four times a year. Admittedly, it was a delicacy that many ponies couldn't even dream of affording, but what harm was there in splurging every so often in some of the more exotic things in life?
Years ago, Rarity would have to search high and low, as well as pay exorbitant prices, to find the tea. Thankfully for Rarity, when Twilight had moved into the village, Spike—whom was obviously a dragon—had come with her. This provided Rarity with whatever supply she needed, and Twilight and Spike with some much appreciated bits.
How else would Twilight afford to rebuild the library after every major disaster that occurred?
A sudden knocking at the front door broke the mare out of her thoughts. Confused at the somewhat surprising intrusion on her quiet time, Rarity set down her cup of tea, and quickly made her way to the front door. She wasn't mad in the slightest at the light interruption—despite the fact that her tea was most likely going to be a little cooler than she liked it by the time she got back. It was only a simple process to let the potential patron know that the shop was closed for the day, and send them on their way.
With a light bounce in her step, she quickly opened the door with her magic, and said, “I'm sorry, but the Carousel Boutique is—oh! Spike! I wasn't expecting you to come over today.” The unicorn's face fell slightly as she brought a forehoof to her muzzle. “Oh dear, I didn't forget a gem finding excursion or something, did I?”
Spike had his little arms behind his back and was rocking back and forth on his heels. “Well... no. I mean, we didn't have anything planned for today. I just decided to come over to see how you were doing.”
“Oh!” Rarity closed her eyes as she cheerfully spoke. “Well how thoughtful of you, my dear Spikey Wikey! I am doing splendidly well, thank you.”
Before she could try and say goodbye, Spike stammered, “Uhh... that's... that's not all I wanted to say.” Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. “I also wanted to say that—”
“Oh my! Spike, are you alright!?”
“Wha... what?” Spike blinked in confusion as he looked around himself—all the while, he made sure to keep his hands hidden behind his back. “What's wrong!? Do I have something on my face?”
“Spike, your face is completely red! Why, it looks like you've been burnt to a crisp in this harsh sun!” Rarity took a step forward to try and comfort the dragon.
Blushing furiously, and not because of a sunburn, Spike took a step back. “No! I’m... dragons can't get sunburns!”
“Oh, well my apologies, darling. I just worry about your health.” Rarity sighed to herself. “Now, what were you trying to tell me?”
Spike took a deep breath in anticipation to his confession—a confession that he had been trying to work up the courage to say for a week now. However, now was the perfect moment. “Rarity, ever since I first laid eyes on you, I have been completely—”
KRAKKABOOM!
The sudden explosion nearly blew the pair off of their feet. Somewhat in a daze after the earth-shattering noise, both the pony and the dragon looked around a little bit in search of whatever caused the noise. That search didn't last long, for up in the sky, the two of them saw the most amazing sight that they had ever seen.
A massive mass of color expanded across the otherwise completely clear sky. Unlike a Sonic Rainboom—and Rarity knew exactly what one looked like—this was completely different. Instead of a massive rainbow ring expanding from the point that a pegasus broke the sound barrier, this was more of a massive expanding sphere creating a wall of color. Further, the colors of the event were not static, but instead were continually shifting from color to color. Not just the colors of the rainbow, but hundreds of tones of pink, magenta, teal, maroon, brown, and even fifty shades of grey.
It left Rarity gaping in wonder at the sky.
While Spike was left speechless, Rarity quickly found words. Lots and lots of words. “Oh my goodness! Spike! Did you see that! Oh wow! That's absolutely amazing. Why... I've never seen something so wonderful, beautiful, and spectacular in my entire life! Why, I wonder what could've caused such a thing! Or maybe who... hmm! I wonder if it is a lovely stallion! Why, if I could meet the lovely and amazing hunk of a stallion that created this, why, I think I would be smitten instantly by him! Why, if he would create something as magnificent as this just for himself, the things I’m sure he would do for a lovely mare like me! Oh, if only—”
As she rambled and on about how amazing the stallion in the sky must have been, she never noticed the furious Spike behind her. The poor dragon had thrown his massive bouquet of roses onto the ground, and with a predator's ferocity, began to jump up and down on the once glorious symbols of love.
“Would you like anything else, your Highness?”
Princess Celestia smiled at her attendant as she grasped the offered Dragon Dung Tea with her magic. “No, that will be quite all. Thank you for your services.”
“Of course, my Princess. As always, if there is anything else you desire, please do not hesitate to ask.”
“And as always, I am certain I will be alright,” she said with a slight giggle.
One final bow later, and her royal attendant left the balcony. Celestia shook her head slightly at the overachieving pony that had just left her. Many of the stallions and mares in the castle had come to realize that all Princess Celestia wanted from them was that they happily help her with only the bare necessities of her life, and leave the less important things to herself. Her dear sister felt the same way, and had also made many attempts at dissuading the various servants from doing too much.
Alas, there always seemed to be a staunch few that tended to try and get on their favored side. These few would go out of their way to do anything and everything to please the royal sisters—usually in the form of offering to assist them with everything from feeding to bathing—yet never getting it through their heads that all the sisters wanted was to have their attendants relax. Celestia usually found out that these ponies were simply trying to go above and beyond what they wanted out of some misguided sense of reverence. In response, Celestia would drop hints here and there of what she really wanted, and they usually either relaxed in time or were released from their employment. However, every so often there was the pony that was only doing the things he or she did for nefarious reasons.
The princesses had way too much fun with those.
From the looks of it, this most recent addition was part of the former group, and it would only take a week or two longer to make him realize that he was doing too much. Thankfully, he had at least finally gotten the hint that Celestia preferred to have her daily tea break on her balcony by herself. Looking over the realm before her, it was the only effective and accessible way that the mare could really unwind after hours of dealing with dozens of irate guests and dignitaries. Sure, it was only a thirty minute activity, but it was enough to calm her nerves until the end of the day.
As she looked over her kingdom, she was able to see the quaint town of Ponyville below. This was less coincidental and more by her own hoof. Ever since her most faithful—yet oh so on edge—Twilight Sparkle had left to live in the small village, something in her life had felt much emptier than ever. It wasn't anything romantic or something like that. Instead, it was more of the feeling that a mother would have when her daughter finally leaves the nest, and lives on her own—a hollow feeling.
Suddenly, Celestia noticed the fastest moving rainbow trail that she had ever seen before moving up and away from Ponyville. The identity of the source was instantly clear, for only Rainbow Dash made a prismatic trail like that. However, it was not the identity of the mare that elicited her undivided attention, but the speed that—
It was then that several bright multicolored rings silently erupted from her trail, and began to spread out across the land. Smiling to herself Celestia lifted the tea to her lips. “A Sonic Rainboom. The mare is getting much better at making that fabled—”
KRAKKABOOM!
Defying all laws of sound that she knew, the sound of the newly formed multicolored sphere tore through her ears, shaking the windows slightly as it instantly passed through the palace. Dropping her teacup—the ceramic material shattering as it hit the marble below—she watched the sphere of colors expand. As she sat motionless, her eyes unfocused, and she couldn't help but to continue to look at the slowly expanding explosion just over the town several miles away.
“But... but... how did she... she... she broke the Celestial Prismbarrier! Not even... not even I have been able to... how did she... how... she...”
It was then that Princess Luna pulled the door open, and galloped onto the balcony. “Dear sister, did you hear... umm... Celestia?”
“How did... Prism Celestialbarrier... Luna shatter... how... onions...”
Luna took a slow step forward, trying to get her sister's attention. However, despite this, Celestia never moved, her eyes still glazed over. “Tia... are you alright?”
Finally, her sister slowly turned her head towards Luna, and with unfocused eyes, looked through the alicorn. “Onions... soup... shatter... Dashbow Rain... Prism monkey fist...”
Slowly, as if a single quick motion would set the broken mare off into a moon-banishing frenzy, Luna stepped backwards, until she was just outside of the door she just entered through. With a quick lighting of her horn, she slowly closed the door.
It was only then that she ran.
“...and how I could see myself wrapped in the embrace of your luscious, navy blue wings, your wonderful feathers keeping out the chilling bite of the Canterlot winter,” Twilight dictated to herself as she wrote.
Normally, the unicorn wouldn't be caught dead speaking out a letter of this sort of subject—doubly so because the content involved herself and a certain alicorn princess. However, Spike had left the Library an hour ago saying that “Today was the day,” or something like that. Twilight only knew that it involved Rarity, as typical of the lovestruck dragon, and that he was going to be gone for the vast majority of the day.
“Your eyes, being the brightest blue that I have ever lost myself in, remind me of the clearest and most glorious rivers that Equestria has to offer.”
Honestly, she wasn't sure whether she wanted Spike to succeed or not. On one hoof, Spike was the most kind, wonderful, and sweet stallion—minus the hooves—that she had ever met. Twilight had seen for so many years that he would do anything for the ones he cared for. She herself found herself relying on the small dragon more and more for little things, and every time he was there for her. That said, Twilight knew that, for the unicorn of his dreams, he would do everything in his power to make her happy.
However, on the other hoof, he was the same age as Sweetie Belle, and that was creepy.
“And while the stars in your glorious nights always dazzle me, I always find myself losing myself in the glory of your perfect mane, the sparkles wonderfully twinkling like the brightest and clearest of diamonds that the world has to offer.”
Of course, she supposed that she could easily say the same thing about herself and the love of her life. Granted yes, she was an adult by Equestrian standards, but that still didn't change the fact that Princess Luna, beautiful Goddess of the Moon and Stars, was centuries old. When it came down to it, if one were to just look at age, it would be almost as if Granny Smith were to get a love letter from Pound Cake. In reality, the only thing going for her was that unlike the baby, she didn't soil herself anymore.
“However, while all of your looks send shivers up and down my spine whenever I cast my eyes upon you, it is your strong and enriched personality that captivates my every waking thought, as well as my every dream.”
There was one difference between her and Spike, though. One distinct factor, and that was that while Spike was small, young, and wasn't sure about what he really wanted in his future, she was older, wiser, and much more mature. Twilight was certain about what she wanted in her future, especially when it came to her love life. Her heart had found true love, and she would be a fool to try and deny it. No, she was strong, this was exactly what she wanted, and no force in Equestria would chan—
KRAKKABOOM!
Twilight dropped the quill that she had been writing with, and after recovering from the deafening explosion, galloped to the window. She instantly found herself gasping at what she saw, for in the skies just outside of Ponyville was the brightest and most glorious display of colors she had ever seen before. An ever expanding sphere of bright cerulean, turquoise, and the most glorious blues she had ever seen shattered any image she might have had as to what true beauty might have been. The sun was just behind the sphere, causing the color-shifting orb to shift the light cascading down to shift to whatever color was displayed at that moment—bathing Twilight's little corner of the world in the colors. It was beautiful. It was amazing. It was... was...
“Perfect,” Twilight whispered. Looking up for a few seconds longer, the unicorn finally turned, and slowly walked back to her desk where the previously forgotten admission of love lay. Twilight looked at the unfinished work, but something felt... weird. Where once she felt that she was pouring the best of her heart and soul into the letter, she now saw just words forced onto the page before her. Where once the message was fresh and full of life, it now felt stale.
Fortunately, she knew why.
With her magic, Twilight took the letter, and with a quick flick of her head, sent it into the garbage, forever to be forgotten—at least until trash day. With another flick of her horn, she opened a drawer of her desk, and with a smile pulled out a fresh sheet of her best parchment. Carefully, she picked her quill back up, dipped it into some ink, and began to write.
“Dear Princess Celestia, it is with both joy and love that I tell you the deepest, yet most wonderful secret I have been holding from you for too long...”
With closed eyes and a wide smile, Roseluck cheerfully said, “That'll be four bits please.”
“Alright, here you go!” the stallion said as he dropped the coins onto her stand. Picking up the rose in his mouth, he turned, and began to walk away.
The yellow-coated mare held the smile for a few more seconds for the stallion to walk away, before she let her face drop to a much more natural position. Quickly scooping the coins into a little bag, she cleared up the top of her stand, straightened out the various assortments of flowers everywhere, and got herself ready for her next customer.
It was a fairly typical day, and business, while not completely swarming like it was during Hearts and Hooves day, was not bustling like it could've been. This led to the earth pony having a little too much downtime between guests, which typically lead to her eyes wandering across the marketplace around her.
To her left, her dear friend Applejack had once again set up shop. While she didn't know the Stetson-clad pony very well on a personal level, they always did their best to make sure that their stands were situated next to each other. It was a simple gesture to be sure, but one that warmed her heart nonetheless. She wasn't sure how the two had initially met—Roseluck had assumed that it was here at the market—but that wasn't what was important. What was important that every day, the two would share pleasantries, make sure their families were doing alright, and idly chat during the breaks.
The nice boost of business due to the cowpony's stall's popularity was only a minor plus. Promise.
Normally, Roseluck would take this moment to try and engage in some gossip with Applejack. Sadly, the mare looked completely swamped with customers seeking to have one or more of her delectable apples. What was also sad was that those customers weren't translating to increased traffic at her own stall at the moment, leaving the mare to silently groan to herself, and plant her chin against the smooth wooden panels of her stand. It was times like this that she regretted getting into such a niche business.
She could talk to the stallion to her right, but Creepy Clopper always tended to say the most awkward things.
Roseluck sighed, and turned her eyes to the sky. In the clear summer day, she saw a bright rainbow forming in the sky. “I wonder if there is a way to make flowers that are colored like Zap App—”
KRAKKABOOM!
If it wasn't for the fact that the mare had her chin firmly planted on the top of her stand, she was sure she would've been knocked off of her hooves. However, her jaw did somehow find a way to drop, for right where she had been looking, a massive growing sphere of color-shifting death appeared. She lifted her head off of the stand, and watched as the explosion grew larger and larger as it shifted from red, orange, pink, and every other color imaginable. Roseluck wasn't very good at math, but a quick observation told that the violent explosion would overtake the entire town in no more than five minutes.
Her eye twitched once. Then she smiled.
Picking up her custom-made pair of saddlebags, she took dozens upon dozens of all kinds of flowers—from blue bonnets to tulips—and placed them in the various slots of her bag. With a wide smile on her face, she quickly trotted over to Applejack's stand with a friendly mission on her mind. This was in spite of all the chaotic screaming and crying of horror and declarations of impending doom from all of the townsponies around her.
However, Roseluck's mission was interrupted by a mare nearly colliding with her—the unicorn frightened to no end. Smiling even wider than she was just a second ago, she reached for a lily, and held it out for the frantic pony in front of her. Through clenched teeth, she cheerfully said, “Here you go!”
For her part, the mare—her eyes nothing but pinpricks— took a step back. “Wh...what!? How could you expect me to buy a flower now!?”
“Oh, I’m not selling it,” the earth pony giggled as she said the words. “I’m giving it to you. It's a gift!”
Scrunching her brow slightly, the unicorn grasped the blooming flower with her magic, and after giving it a quick look over as if checking for some kind of explosive, attempted to smile back. The smile mostly failed. “W... w... well thank you, Rose. That's... that's very kind of you.”
“And thank you for being you!” Roseluck said cheerfully in response. She repeated this process for everypony she ran into—most giving her a similar panicked reaction to the initial mare that she spoke to—all the way until she got to Applejack.
Quickly reaching into her saddlebags, she pulled out a dozen tulips. “And an extra special dozen tulips for my friend, Applejack.”
The words broke the apple bucker out of her daze—Applejack previously too busy looking at the ever expanding orb of colors to notice what was going on. With slow and deliberate movements, Applejack reached forward, grabbed the tulips, and gently placed them on her stand. However, before Roseluck could walk away, Applejack put a forehoof on the mare's shoulder.
Slowly, as if the yellow pony would explode at any second, Applejack whispered, “Ya alrigh', Sugarcube? You're kinda actin' funny.”
Roseluck just smiled. “Well, that big massive explosion is probably going to end the world as we know it, so I’m just going around and giving flowers to everypony I see as a token of my thanks for being my friend.”
Applejack blinked, looked at the mare, looked at the massive sphere of color in the sky, looked at the chaos going on in the town, back at the sphere of colors, back at the mare once again, then finished with another blink. “Ya... ya think this is the end of the world?”
“Yup!”
Applejack shivered in unease, before responding slowly. “Ah don' want ya to take this the wrong way, Rose, but Ah kinda expected ya to be freakin' out an' such over somethin' like this.”
Roseluck thought to herself for a few seconds, pondering over the words that were just said. After a few seconds, she just shrugged. “For the end of the world, it's not that horrible.”
Pinkie Pie ran across hillsides in a desperate attempt to catch up with the source of the rainbow trail ahead of her. At first, she had assumed that the spectacular ignition and launch were sure signs of success. However, the instant after Dashie tore into the sky—and the subsequent destruction of the balcony Pinkie was standing on—Pinkie knew that she might have made a slight oopsie in her math.
Damn those moments she forgot to carry the one.
Faster and faster Pinkie ran—the mare using every single shortcut and loophole in physics to catch up with the soaring pegasus. Sure, Pinkie was fast, and sure she was able to teleport when the world deemed it to be convenient or amusing, but even instantaneous travel didn't seem to be fast enough. The thought that she wasn't able to catch up with somepony nearly floored the mare.
The second moment that Pinkie knew that she did something horribly horribly wrong was when Rainbow not only broke through the theoretical Celestial Prismbarrier, but completely and utterly smashed it until it cried for its mommy. While all of the ponies in Ponyville were surely panicking, the giant color-shifting orb in the sky was actually much more harmless than anypony would ever expect—astronomically less so than one of Dashie's Sonic Rainbooms. However, but it wasn't those other ponies that she was worried about.
It was Dashie she was worried about.
Finally, she noticed the rainbow trail dip downward, and begin to fall from the sky. Tracking its downward motion, she saw that the pegasus was falling towards what appeared to be the foothills of Canterlot Mountain. Willing more speed out of her body, Pinkie ran across the hill, jumped through portals, and was even able to persuade one or two gatekeepers of Tartarus to push her closer to where she needed to go.
Only a minute later, and Pinkie found herself screeching to a halt in front of a large crater. Not bothering to worry about her own safety, she jumped down into the massive hole in the ground. Dexterously dodging any loose pieces of rubble that might cause some kind of rockslide or something, Pinkie skidded down the side of the crater. A few seconds later, and she slowed herself to a stop at the bottom of the scar in the landscape. Carefully, she took a few slow steps forward, and looked for the form of her prismatic-maned friend.
Somehow, both the jetpack—the twin rockets still smoking from their flight—and Dashie—also still smoking from her flight—were in one piece, though whether that was was a blessing or a curse was yet to be determined. Still as slow as a turtle—or maybe a tortoise—she approached her friend.
A final spurt of defiant energy shot out of the jetpack, sending the earth pony stumbling backwards for a moment. However, after several seconds of calm, she quickly got her wits back, and with an uncharacteristically small voice, whispered, “Dashie? Dashie? Are you alright?”
“Uuuugh...”
That was her cue to dart over to her friend. Hitting the emergency release on the jetpack, she quickly tore the terrible idea off of her friend's back. Quickly—yet as carefully as she could—she rolled her friend over onto her back, began cradling the mare, and whispered again, “Dashie, are you alright?”
Rainbow's eyes opened partway, her rosy eyes glazed over in wooziness. “Pinkie... Pinkie Pie... is that you?”
She nodded. “Yuppies, Rain-train. I’m here. I’m here for you.”
“O... okay.”
“Stupid, stupid Pinkie,” she chastised herself. “How could you forget to include the frosting coefficient when you calculated the rate of thrust. That's an amateur’s mistake!”
Rainbow cringed slightly. “Pinkie... you're confusing me so much, it hurts. Does that... does that mean I’m still alive then?”
Pinkie took a deep breath, and after a few seconds, began to put on a smile again. “Of course, silly filly. Of course you're alive.”
Rainbow closed her eyes, and let the warmth of the sun above bathe her in light. Pinkie wasn't sure what to do other than to continue holding the pegasus in her forelegs.
“Need... need...”
“What's that, Dashie? You need more sun? You need water? You need to play Monopony?”
“No... Pinkie... I...”
“Yes... Dashie?
“Needs... needs to be faster...”
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I love this story. So hard.
Gotta move faster, faster...!
Jetpacks are fun. Who cares about safety?
Should be "Identities" or "Lives"
Should be "Led the earth pony to"
Drop the she.
Why do I never catch everything before it goes live!
Best ending to a story ever.
Woah, and yet Pinkie Pie forgot to carry the one. Wonder what might have happened if she had.
Sure it broke the Celestialprism thing buuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttt it needs more thrust.
I am LOLing so hard right now. The sub stories made it.
That was... simply glorious.
Thank you!
This story is so relevant to my interests it's not even funny.
However, while the fact that the story is relevant to my interests is not funny, the story itself is hilarious. Nice work! Check the spelling of the word "condemned" early on and watch for a your / you're substitution in Applejack's "acting kind of funny" line.
Just remember that the red ones go faster.
1803582
even in My Little Pony. (if you watch Rainbow Dash when she's doing a speed stunt, her rainbow is predominantly red.)
1800536 That's incredibly dirty. So... so deliciously dirty. (I'm tired, cut me some slack)
1800576 "Must go faster must go faster..."
1800658 The Royal Aviation Safety Board cares. As for the errors, you commented before it was posted on the front page, so they were fixed beforehand
1800725 I don't know, the ending "and then they fucked like bunnies" is up there too.
1800846 Then her math would've been right, and she would've realized that instead of the 10:1 thrust to weight ratio that she thought the sucker had, it was actually a 100:1 thrust to weight ratio.
1800894 She was still going slower than the speed of light. Of course it needed more!
1800949 Yeah... not going to lie, the story sucked without them
1803403 Thanks! And have an "Awesome avatar" complement to you
1803511 That's what she said.
1803515 *Blinks to self* Did I... did I seriously use the wrong you're!? I... I feel dirty right now.
1803544 Wasn't entirely sure how I came up with that idea. Pinkie just thinks with portals. 'Nuff said.
1803582 Red frosting cupcakes... hmm...
1803806 Nah, just looks that way. The orange and the red blend with each other much more than the rest of the colors, especially since indigo is cut out completely (it gives violet and blue a more distinct separation).
And then the sun turned into an onion and soup rained from the heavens. A stallion looked up from the jar of preserves in which he luxuriated and, with the air of a sage imparting prophetic wisdom that would shape the fate of generations to come, pronounced, "Celestia be jelly."
1800949 Yup.
Onions?
Monopony?
Those are probably my two favourite lines. They are just so random. I have no idea how you thought of them.
Why is Twilight with a secret crush on one of the two princesses always so funny?
Haha! Hillarious! Thanks for sharing, eh!
1844192 It's true, and you know it! So many Sparity (as much as I love the ship) don't take this into account!
1844286 Even Discord would think that that was a little too chaotic at that point...
1845297 Not going to lie, when I initially thought of the Roseluck segment, that was the very first thing I thought of. I built the entire scene around that single line.
1850804 Excuse me, it's "Eeyup!"
1857818 Yes, Onion. Yes, monopony. You have booze to thank for the first, and my amazing editor to thank for the second one (I put "Monopoly", but he changed it to that.) As for the princess thing, I would say that it's because it's kinda ridiculous having that ship.
1858911 And sharing is caring!
While not as funny as I hope, it was a very well written story and it was a great thought, I very much enjoyed it, poor Rainbow Dash, surprised she did not die
You know I have never seen a Roseluck/Applejack romance before, I very much would love to read such though, background ponies being paired with the Mane Six need to appear more. The scene with Twilight was funny as hell, loved it, though I'm not one for Twilight/Celestia but I do like Twilight/Luna.
You did seriously very well, I'm really impressed and much enjoyed it
O.O
Figures Rainbow Dash loved this to an insane degree, she loves going fast, and this was faster than ever.