it looked good as far you went into it but you should compete the chapter soon if you want any solid feedback

Well this clearly is a dethrone plan and search to kill a goddess the problem is that you CAN'T kill a goddess, being a goddess, means immortality, so Lanchan could do the next best option, trap her, but it HAS to be something that can make the job, something that will keep tabs on Celestia and even if it fails keep her weak enough to be trap again.

As how to proceed, Lanchan already stir a bit of trust on guards, now he needs to act in a subtle way, make Celestia be the bad one, turn its people against her, and to do that she needs to make Celestia loss her cool she need to push her into the edge, I think Discord could do the job, between them he could created a fake meeting bring Celestia there, and then disapear while talking to her from a safe distance, make her loss her cool, make her mad until she exploits and lash out, and then show her to her people, make them see her for what she really is, make their town fear her, if she lost their trust Lanchan gains ground, and with that he can start a plan.

5944584 No trust me it is a steaming pile of shit and will be deleted the moment I get feed back on it. But the idea will still be there just far better written.

DEATH TO THE TRYRANT!!!

5944621 Yeah death to the Trant. What ever the fuck that is.

"Uh, that was awful."

This twist? I agree! The premise? I agree! Grimdark, OOC behavior to a ridiculous extent, the hypocrisy too outrageous to believe, far too much rape with the rapist being forgiven too easily and ALL blame shifted on her sister with no reasonable foreshadowing or buildup...

5944643 Yep pretty much. Also no build up. That was the key. Literaly one minute Celestia is merely a tyrant next minute boom she is worse than super hitler riding mecha t-rex/ spider hybrid.

5944621 Tyrant

5944598 ha you though I was talking about the chapter beaning good ....hell no I was talking about the idea of the chapter

You know, its kinda refreshing to have a story in which Celestia is the villain

Start it off with them trying to convince Celestia to remember her good self. Then you can either have her reform herself or refuse and they barely manage to defeat her. I'll let you decide which one.

5944625 It was the spell check

I like where this is going. if you keep this idea, and move from here, i'd be perfectly happy.

I rather liked control-hungry sexist Celestia. If I'm being truthful, the thing I was wanting to see out of this fic most was Lachlan bringing about a second male uprising, maybe with a more fatalistic approach like Gandhi did in a romantic sense, the males threatening the survival of the species as a whole by promises of mass suicide if gender-based laws weren't reformed and abuse punished equally. Either way, I wanted to see him leading a male rebellion, not just trying to murder Celestia...well, maybe as a last option. She's hard to kill, lol.

Sexist tyrant Celestia is way more interesting than "BRAAAAH EVIL DESTROYER OF CULTURES AND PEOPLE" Celestia.

All this aside, you have most of the setup for it already published. Maybe Sombra knows some old families that were very pro-stallion rights, names that might strike a spark of recognition or just someone rather famous. It'd be a good way to introduce a background pony into a foreground role.

It's up to you. You have the column ready to shape an amazing statue on. Make something special. If not, at least tell us so we don't have hope to dash. I really liked this story the most out of all of them.

5944656 and thanks for the correct spelling

Hmmmm....Well, I do have an inkling of an idea. If it were me, I would do something similar to Dropbear's Nigel M. Chalmers - Emperor, but with more planning. Hear me out:

Phase 1: As Sombra said, this whole plan won't work without Luna's help. So we use her love for Lachlan to help influence her. During a night of wild passion with Luna, Lachlan should get her to talk about the old days. He should get her to admit that Celestia isn't the same benevolent Princess she used to be, and should be taken down a peg. Naturally, Luna would be too scared to try and take on her older sister, considering how she ended up on the moon for 1000 years the last time she tried. Lachlan should then remind her that it is for the good of the people, that he will be there supporting her, and that they could come up with a plan to undermine her sister's authority and expose her for the tyrant she is.

Phase 2: Once Luna agrees, we get down to the next step of the plan, acquiring allies and resources. First up, Queen Chrysalis. She will probably still have an axe to grind against Celestia, and with her people's ability to transform, use magic, and fly, they would be invaluable. With the help of Luna's guards, Lachlan would secretly travel to the Badlands (on Luna's behalf) to make a secret treaty between Chrysalis and Luna. In exchange for their aid, not only would Chrysalis get her revenge, but reclaim the lost glory of her people. How? Through the ambient love that exists in the Crystal Empire. (Chrysalis might find Lachlan's rough nature and hatred for Celestia quite attractive, *hint, hint*)

Phase 3: Talk to Discord. After being in the castle and learning about Equestrian history from Florenza, Lachlan takes a walk through the statue gardens with her. Upon reaching Discord's statue he happens to touch the base of the statue and hears Discord speak. Discord, being master of chaos, seems to know a lot about humanity, and how chaotic they can be. He'll agree to help Lachlan with his little plan because of all the chaos it will create, not to mention all of Lachlan's reforms: Celestia out of power, stallions being treated as equals, massive changes in the power structure and culture...he'll love it. Besides, humans are good at causing chaos, and having one married to the new alicorn in charge ought to make Equestria quite interesting. Lachlan (cautiously) agrees to his help, provided he doesn't go on another chaotic rampage.

Phase 4: When the Crystal Empire gets close to returning, Sombra will warn Lachlan in his dreams. Luna will then request that Celestia allow her to take Lachlan with her on a honeymoon, since they never actually had one. When they leave, a couple of changelings will impersonate them and go to the hotel, while the real Lachlan and Luna will head off the frozen north with Queen Chrysalis and her changelings. They'll arrive just in time for the Crystal Empire to return. They will find Sombra's resting place, restore him to power, and bring him back to his empire and subjects before Celestia has time to summon Cadance and Shining Armor. Sombra will officially join in with their alliance and establish the empire as a place where both the changelings and crystal ponies can call home. They retrieve and activate the Crystal Heart, allowing the residual love to not only shield the empire, but convert all the changelings back into flutterponies. As the new arrivals get situated, Sombra begins Lachlan's training.

Phase 5: Convert Cadance and Shining. Naturally, Celestia will first send the other royal couple to the empire to secure it for her arrival (and brainwashing). When Cadance and Shining arrive, they will find the empire already taken over by Sombra and filled with flutterponies. The two are quickly captured and brought before Sombra, Chrysalis, Luna, and Lachlan. Though difficult, the four manage to convince the two that Celestia is the real tyrant and should be removed from power for the good of all Equestria. They agree (reluctantly) to help. Lachlan asks them to assist him with the next part of the plan: getting the Bearers of the Elements on board.

Phase 6: According to Lachlan's plan, Cadance sends a letter back to Celestia, informing her of Sombra's return and a need for reinforcements. Naturally, Celestia calls in Twilight and her friends to deal with the crisis. When the Mane 6 and Spike arrive, however, they are treated in the same manner as Cadance and Shining were. They are brought before the others, but unlike Cadance and Shining, are more resolute and harder to convince to betray Celestia, especially Twilight. So, Lachlan declares that he can prove it, so long as the seven of them cooperate. If he is wrong, he promises to give himself up. The seven reluctantly agree.

Final Phase: Expose the Tyrant. While the Elements and Spike enjoy the hospitality of the empire, Lachlan takes on a few more days of training before pursuing the final portion of his plan. Luna and Lachlan sneak back to where their doppelgangers are enjoying the honeymoon and switch back with them. Then they return to Canterlot, where Celestia informs Luna of the empire's return and that once Sombra has been taken cared of, they will be going there to ensure that the citizens are compliant with their new rulers (via brainwashing). At that moment, they receive a letter from Cadance that Sombra has been defeated. Celestia has carriages immediately brought about orders Luna to make preparations to leave. Luna and Lachlan makes their way to the vault and secretly takes the Elements of Harmony into her possession. Afterwards, she teleports to the statue garden and releases Discord. Lachlan takes the elements, and Discord teleports both himself and Lachlan to the empire where they give the Bearers their elements. Meanwhile, Celestia and Luna set off to the empire. Upon arriving, Celestia finds out that she has been tricked and that Cadance, Shining, and Luna have betrayed her and joined forces with Sombra and Chrysalis. Sombra tells her that the elements were in the dungeon because they wouldn't betray her. However, the truth is that Lachlan, Florenza, Spike, Discord, and the girls were all hiding and secretly watching. Just as Lachlan predicted, Celestia shows her true nature by declaring that after she had dealt with the traitors, she would brainwash Sombra's people and turn the flutterponies back into the monsters they were. Heartbroken and angry by her betrayal, twilight and the girls come out of hiding and use the elements of harmony on Celestia. The elements do the same thing they did to Luna, strip her of most of her power and leave her in a mini state. As further punishment, Discord takes her horn in wings and gives them to Florenza. Instead of killing Celestia (because come on, that would be too easy), Lachlan suggests that she will be forced to watch, powerlessly, as Luna, Florenza, and himself guide Equestria into a more peaceful, friendly, kingdom.

Epilogue: I think I would leave that up to you.

P.S. So...what do you think? Also, when will you start publishing the "The Scent: Lust of Mares" chapters again? I miss those.

The old coup bit, eh? The first step is to throw tea into the harbor... Wait, no. The best bet the topple Tia is revolution, get the people to help. Show Tia for who she is. Flush out that Luna transformation bit, actually give old boy a reason to try and forgive Luna for what her darker bit did. You need Luna so she can take the throne. Get help from the changelings, the super spy race would be exceptional at helping the coup. Maybe a little bit more info on Tia going super nova, possibly something that put her on that road. Show us why old boy has magic, cuddle us in training montages. Erh... Is candy evil? If it's the Candace we all know and love I'm sure she'd be more then happy to engage in jolly cooperation after she learns the truth. Get some nobles on yeah side, they have money and resources. The key is Luna, if you get her you can expose Tia for the Hitlmussstaliner she is.

5944945 what you just said was one of the best yet worst things I have ever heard

5945395 it happens more offen then it should, I'm afraid.

5944798 The problem is and this is terrible but Lachlan does not really give a fuck about the stallions he is doing this solely to save his own skin. Lachlan is not the sweet and kind version seen in the other versions he is selfish, a bit of a bitch and angry. But these negative traits I plan to work with.

5946482 That's true. I forgot about that. Though...he does have a habit of getting in over his head, especially getting roped into things bigger than himself. That's why I'm pushing Sombra for Summer Slam! Luna rather loves her concubine and though I have forgotten if Celestia has used him, I'm sure she wouldn't want to let him go either. If presented right, reform would be the only way to guarantee his freedom. He's a shit, but I don't think he's a shit who doesn't want to be able to leave the country. I'm assuming he would want to bail to somewhere outside of Equestria for safety from Celestia but he won't get far if she can just decide that he either stays leashed to the throne like Princess Leia or gets hard time in the dungeon or on the executioner's block. Damn, I need to reread this story. I don't remember waaaay too much about it!

Celestia dies, by Chrysalis hands. All her tyranny will be put out for everyone to see.
Lachlan probably dies.
Sombra stays good.
Discord stays cool and released from his imprisonment.
Cadance, I have no clue where her loyalty lies. See if she knew about the things Celestia has done. If she knows, then kill her. If she doesn't, well... Maybe a hug?
Do the same thing with Shining.
Mane6 gets flipped the bird and sent to a mental institution (might be confusing this story with some other with this one but whatever). When they are deemed mentally okay they're free to go.
Luna gets help with her cold and cruel ways so that she becomes kind once more.
If Lachlan lives he could maybe help Chrysalis and Luna with their pain in a platonic way.
Blueblood comes forth and shows his true side. Which is actually caring and gentle albeit a bit shy.

Herp-er-derp.

WElp, I think the chapter was good. It was amazing. I have read this story and your other one as well. They are both amazing and just outright perfect. I just don't know what to say...., but if you need feedback or help on it then ok.

THis was great, keep up the good work. Also....I really read all your stories, I stalk you I think :P.

But yeah, amazing stuff

literal goddess

Doubt it, if it can bleed you can kill it.

"Mech idea guy" here. Anyway, if you are looking for suggestions I got one. Once they reclaim the Crystal Empire they start building up a strong military force that can rival Equestria's military along with new weapons. If I were in Lachlan's position I would be developing rifles, machine guns, aircraft, tanks, and chemical weapons. However, Lachlan may not know how to develop them. (The only reason I know how to create these weapons is by a ton of studying on war history.) If ponies know chemistry Lachlan could get them to develop Mustard Gas or something similar. Heck, I doubt Celestia would have a counter for something that poisons the air. Also, Equestrian armies would have no counter to a gas attack.

Anyway, as I said, that is what I would have done. However, start it of basic. Maybe the Crystal Heart would be able to hold against a siege from the Equestrians Armies. In this time the Crystal Empire goes full militerization.

Then there is the mirror.
38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mapms62yDe1rut3y7o1_400.gif

Take some gold, buy a ton of weapons, reverse engineer them, then bam! Advance army. Then there comes the problem of training soldiers how to use it. You could either:

A: Bring a human back (after a fuck ton of convincing) that knows how to train people in the use of firearms. (veteran or gun instructor preferably)

B: Lachlan learns how to use a firearm and brings the knowledge, however it would take longer.

Or C: Wing it and make a short excuse.

Take your pick.

Once they have a operational army they fight off the Equestrian forces and drive them back to the border. Slowly capture cities and recruit new races into their ranks who want freedom. Finally siege Canterlot, have a huge battle, then defeat Celestia with the combined efforts of your chosen characters.

5954062 *in a bad Scottish accent* ka-BOOOOOOOM!

5949887 or just teach the soldiers how to make better armor, weapons and how to use guerrilla tactics to win... Or just teach them how to hunt.

5946482 The other version? Please explain.

5957033 Lust of mares he has a kind of innocence about him. Laid back and a friendly guy. Love of mares he is more cold, and wiling to end someone live.

5956600

Guerrilla tactics can only get you so far.

just teach the soldiers how to make better armor, weapons

That would be the jobs of Blacksmiths and factories to make better equipment.

Or just teach them how to hunt

As I said, it can only get you so far.

5958444 all it takes is for three tangos to fall and poof, there goes their defense. Or just drop Canterlot off the mountain.

5958686

I prefer blitzkrieg.

vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/atwar-game/images/a/a1/Blitzkrieg_01-1-.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140730015215

5957677 So I'm assuming you have other fics that have Lachlan acting differently? Correct me if I'm wrong.

Finaaallly its here! thank you god!

anywayz may i please make a suggestion. how about we ad some windigos into the mix.
dark cynical creatures must love Celestia's Hypocrisy. or maybe hate it.

thats just my idea.

i hope it served you well!

ok,question
is this chapter cannon right now and is that up for debate?
The author's note only says that you had planned to take the story in this direction. That doesn't tell us what parts of this you are still holding onto.

I like where the story is heading, political takeover of Equestria or military coup of the throne both ending with Celesita's death or imprisonment. The story is starting to fall apart tho as it seems like Lacy rushed into his plans, got beaten/tortured/raped yet seems raring to go without immediate medical attention. I like where this could go but the story needs a bit of work and the spelling/grammar leaves much to be desired.

5958998 meh, shock and awe works every time.

5964706

I know right.

5965150 oorah

one update per year

hurray

5969709 See ya 2016

5970438 i.imgur.com/PLTZJRh.gif

I just would like to ask if your giving up on lust of mares because it isn't updated at all.im not trying to rush you just asking.

5971478 Just give me a month to get the exams over with then I won't be as exhausted and will have more time to write.

not bad

5972296 cool thanks for the heads up sorry if im rushing you or anything.

5972701 You are not rushing me man anyone who likes my stuff can always ask questions. I don't mind at all.

Well, this was surprising, I just got up to date with this story, then decide to check out your other works . . . Turns out I've already read and faved FIVE!! Of your other stories, so I just want to say please keep up the great work, in this story and the rest!

5977950 Cheers.

6025549 This was the second story I ever wrote in English and I not only struggled to write but also made my characters sound edgy and pricks thinking I was writing them as compelling. Mind cutting me some slack? The story will be re-written.

i know how celestia must die,*starts chanting the words "bloody angle" over and over*