Slavery, racism, oppression Equestria was founded on these principles. The tyrant of the sun refuses to do nothing whilst the males of her ponies are beaten. I wont stand for this change is coming be it peacefully, or forcefully
I would have gone through with the wedding...Up until the day we would get married, i would just leg it for the Everfree Forest and leave a note saying "Fuck you and your baby". Also, why em i still awake at 1:30 in the morning?
2974398 If you add to this picture background story think of by artists it's going up on creepy scale quite much. Celestia as tyranic lunatic who actually believe that she can raise a sun and is immortal even if this freak have added wings and horn and well....had few bone extensions, during surgeries she was conscious thanks to her paranoic nature and fear to be killed during her sleep.
Of course the charges were dropped. You can never charge royalty of anything cause they're automatically above the law and therefore can do anything they please.
The pale horse is above the law and decrees injustice, sexism, murder, suffering and hate. I've heard this somewhere before. You should rename Celestia to Death, And Hell to all that follow her.
good chapter, you know, in moments like the reaction of Luna to all of this, I just wonder if there is a way for her to have ALL Lanchan nightmares that she so grateful give to him…That will be divine justice.
Also…so there is a moment fighting for the stallions right…¿eh? Its looks like they found a powerful ally, this is getting interesting.
I like Fluttershy, Florenza and Rainbow Dash they're all very decent and kiind to him, if i had to make a choice on who to trust out of all the girls it be those three.
I read this fic and....Well, it's not good, not horrible either. Moving on, sins of this fic
-Too rushed, you have skipped whole section with Twilight "lecturing" human about how this Equestria is working, reader don't know jack shit about it. - Too little details given about what is going on, which can be put under "Too rushed" cathegory. - Ah, what I can tell more? Characters sometimes act really weird, like when AJ kicked someone with broken legs who was just trying to save himself from being raped (if I read it well, sometimes I have problem with understanting what is going on here and need to read stuff twice to get it...but it's matter of editing so I can deal with it) or being overly attached to someone with no scenes showing any bond-building. -And biggest sin of all! Ideas + anthro gigantic ponies+ tiny human = Potential. You are not using this potential in this story. Only because of this I'm not going to downvote this fic, I'll leave it with no rate at all. Ideas are good but you need to slow the fuck down, don't skip some stuff like it. Maybe you are quite new with writing stuff so I'm not going to go on rant about how I don't feel any sadness or pain of main character when you are describing it, but if you slow down... this going to be much better fic. Ideas here are quite good! They only need to be put to good use.
yeah I don't like the idea of the male in the story being pushed around as some fuck toy between all the characters (physically, mentally, and emotionally) so also im asking a read another story that had the same characters the same names (yes lachan too) and a pregnancy from not one not two not three but four alicorns and the list continues are you the writer of that story too because that is good detail . but that's not the point I just find it a bit bullshit for logics sake but its a pretty good tory still aside from that stuff
2976318 Dude if he went in guns blazing the story would be over in about well now. it takes time and planning to build a resistance and topple a tyrant.
To every one out there as I have tried to stress. Blood is going to be spilt tears will be shed. There will be points where Lachlan losses hope but in the end what will make this book will be him fighting.
considering he has gone through traumatization and paranoia he will start going through phases like violence or insecurity or just basic hiding under his cover crying himself to death
“So wait.... either I marry her or die? Are those seriously my only two options?”
"...I want to be cremated."
Seriously, Luna is best princess, but if I had gone through the things Lachlan went through, I'd rather put my groin in a pencil sharpener, and grind it to red paste, before I'd spend any time alone with her.
I was not expecting cover art quite like that, but it does draw attention to new readers.
Edit: No Proofreader? No wonder why I saw mistakes. I was too busy enjoying the read to post them though. Either way, Love the new remastered edition. Much darker and cruel with a few tender moments for a decent measure. I don't read many dark fics and when there's one that makes the Princess's seem like the worst people in history... It's gonna be one hell of a ride from there.
2977277 The ponies are anthropomorphous. They have their same coloration, ears, horns, wings, and anything else that a normal pony would, but are bipedal, have boobs, and hands. Ponies with human attributes
I beg of you! Please make Lachlan go against the sisters every step of the way! And if they must have their way, please make sure their personal frustration almost outweighs the survival of their race.
You said you'd make this story much darker than the previous one, don't cut corners please.
2974482 Yeah, me too. If it was consent, I'd grab the kid before I ran, but seeing as it wasn't, and that Celestia really is a bitch in this universe, I'd be gone, too, if I didn't try to get Luna to miscarry. 2976405 Blood for the blood god!
There's a fucking anthro tag on dis stuff. Lol I think xD
The ponies are anthropomorphic and he's your average joe. If that doesn't explain it to you, you could look up anthro on wikipedia or something.
Or I guess I could explain it badly =^•^= Do you know the term furries? They're generally associated with anthropomorphic characters. An anthro character is basically a being with human-ish features, like an anthro pony would still have fur, maybe have hooves on it's hind legs but walk on two legs and have hands, smaller if not no muzzle at all.
And still have wings or horns but that's kind of obvious :p
you know if humanity were to arrive on that planet and find out what he has been through the whole pony race would be gone in under an hour and equestria would be nothing but glass and radiation and humanity would not even give a shit that genocide was committed
2988945 Very true. or they would do what humans normaly and try and educate them then if that doesn't work then declare war and get competent leaders in
2991507 yea genocide would be last of 15 things they would do to stop it and at that they probably would leave some left alive (ones that don't believe in the current equestrian system
That cover art looks a little bit creepy...
... ... just ... what ... he ... I ... please help me understand this or my brain will go into permanent shut down
i dont think lachlan spoke enough during the meeting between him the the princesses
the fact he didnt just burst right out in anger in sight of luna disappoints me
I would have gone through with the wedding...Up until the day we would get married, i would just leg it for the Everfree Forest and leave a note saying "Fuck you and your baby". Also, why em i still awake at 1:30 in the morning?
2974398 If you add to this picture background story think of by artists it's going up on creepy scale quite much. Celestia as tyranic lunatic who actually believe that she can raise a sun and is immortal even if this freak have added wings and horn and well....had few bone extensions, during surgeries she was conscious thanks to her paranoic nature and fear to be killed during her sleep.
Of course the charges were dropped. You can never charge royalty of anything cause they're automatically above the law and therefore can do anything they please.
I'm going to give this story a shot but please, give some love to the artist behind this pic and give link to the source of it....
http://kvernikovskiy.deviantart.com/art/Insane-Tyrant-Celestia-326409823
Did you even asked for permission to use it? :>
To people who want to look at kvernikovskiy gallery, be warned that there is a lot more creepy things there than Celestia from this cover-pic.
From what iv seen we might just have a new Broly hehehe.
(i know Lachlan not a saiyan its just a cool thought)
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/003/8/2/broly__s_no_brony_by_hattonslayden-d4l6n1j.jpg
Let the uprising begin.
She kissed a "COLT" and she liked it. Fan fucking tastick. It felt so wrong, it felt so right...........
Interesting chapter looking forward to seeing how he handles this.
changeling intervention later perhaps?
uuuuhhhhhhhhhhh.................................loss of words.........good chapter
is it gonna be the same as shtterd memorise?
The pale horse is above the law and decrees injustice, sexism, murder, suffering and hate. I've heard this somewhere before.
You should rename Celestia to Death, And Hell to all that follow her.
2974572 no shattered memories is a failed fic
although the forced marriage thing is pretty messed up.... its not really.... dark, and neither is pregnancy really........ to a point.....
2974699 dude not every aspect of the story is dark this is only the beginning
Lachlan is doomed. He will be poisoned in canterlot.
good chapter, you know, in moments like the reaction of Luna to all of this, I just wonder if there is a way for her to have ALL Lanchan nightmares that she so grateful give to him…That will be divine justice.
Also…so there is a moment fighting for the stallions right…¿eh? Its looks like they found a powerful ally, this is getting interesting.
P.S: Fluttershy in the end is going to adopt him?
2974755 Well I will have to talk to my proof reader since he is Spanish so it could just be a mistake on his part
WE NEED MOAR!!!
and i most say it's a master piece of how it's going on
but still have a few gramma quirks
If I was sent here, i'd swear to wipe them all from the face of the Earth!
Lachlan already agreed to the marriage so he needs to tell celestia fuck the survival of their kind and refuse to help the alicorns return
Yeah...
I like Fluttershy, Florenza and Rainbow Dash they're all very decent and kiind to him, if i had to make a choice on who to trust out of all the girls it be those three.
Well looks like you found your balance with this story I was wondering about that reading the other two. Nice work.
Jeez, your just busting chapters out left and right huh?
YES! This is exactly the kind of stories that I love to read! I can not wait for the next update to come along!
I am really getting the feeling that this is going to end up like that one really fucked up Gilda fic.
I really hope not.
refrained*
I read this fic and....Well, it's not good, not horrible either. Moving on, sins of this fic
-Too rushed, you have skipped whole section with Twilight "lecturing" human about how this Equestria is working, reader don't know jack shit about it.
- Too little details given about what is going on, which can be put under "Too rushed" cathegory.
- Ah, what I can tell more? Characters sometimes act really weird, like when AJ kicked someone with broken legs who was just trying to save himself from being raped (if I read it well, sometimes I have problem with understanting what is going on here and need to read stuff twice to get it...but it's matter of editing so I can deal with it) or being overly attached to someone with no scenes showing any bond-building.
-And biggest sin of all! Ideas + anthro gigantic ponies+ tiny human = Potential. You are not using this potential in this story. Only because of this I'm not going to downvote this fic, I'll leave it with no rate at all. Ideas are good but you need to slow the fuck down, don't skip some stuff like it. Maybe you are quite new with writing stuff so I'm not going to go on rant about how I don't feel any sadness or pain of main character when you are describing it, but if you slow down... this going to be much better fic. Ideas here are quite good! They only need to be put to good use.
2976080
yeah I don't like the idea of the male in the story being pushed around as some fuck toy between all the characters (physically, mentally, and emotionally) so also im asking a read another story that had the same characters the same names (yes lachan too) and a pregnancy from not one not two not three but four alicorns and the list continues are you the writer of that story too because that is good detail . but that's not the point I just find it a bit bullshit for logics sake but its a pretty good tory still aside from that stuff
2976318 Dude if he went in guns blazing the story would be over in about well now. it takes time and planning to build a resistance and topple a tyrant.
To every one out there as I have tried to stress. Blood is going to be spilt tears will be shed. There will be points where Lachlan losses hope but in the end what will make this book will be him fighting.
It will get far more bloody just you all wait.
2976405
considering he has gone through traumatization and paranoia he will start going through phases like violence or insecurity or just basic hiding under his cover crying himself to death
How Lachlan's reaction to hearing that the had to marry Luna should have been:
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9smscyoe61rzhv5ho1_250.gif
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbgc3dum4T1riqizno1_500.gif
Anyone else agree?
When these two stories (The Scent: Lust of Mares/ The Scent: Darker Paths) finish there needs to be a crossover story between them!
How I would have reacted to the "ultimatum":
Seriously, Luna is best princess, but if I had gone through the things Lachlan went through, I'd rather put my groin in a pencil sharpener, and grind it to red paste, before I'd spend any time alone with her.
That coverart is freakin' creepy, man.
I was not expecting cover art quite like that, but it does draw attention to new readers.
Edit: No Proofreader? No wonder why I saw mistakes. I was too busy enjoying the read to post them though. Either way, Love the new remastered edition. Much darker and cruel with a few tender moments for a decent measure. I don't read many dark fics and when there's one that makes the Princess's seem like the worst people in history... It's gonna be one hell of a ride from there.
2977277 The ponies are anthropomorphous. They have their same coloration, ears, horns, wings, and anything else that a normal pony would, but are bipedal, have boobs, and hands. Ponies with human attributes
Another excellent chapter my good man!
leaveyouwantingless.typepad.com/sotd/files/lurch1.jpg
I beg of you! Please make Lachlan go against the sisters every step of the way! And if they must have their way, please make sure their personal frustration almost outweighs the survival of their race.
You said you'd make this story much darker than the previous one, don't cut corners please.
2974482
Yeah, me too. If it was consent, I'd grab the kid before I ran, but seeing as it wasn't, and that Celestia really is a bitch in this universe, I'd be gone, too, if I didn't try to get Luna to miscarry.
2976405
Blood for the blood god!
2977277 dude.
There's a fucking anthro tag on dis stuff.
Lol I think xD
The ponies are anthropomorphic and he's your average joe. If that doesn't explain it to you, you could look up anthro on wikipedia or something.
Or I guess I could explain it badly =^•^=
Do you know the term furries?
They're generally associated with anthropomorphic characters.
An anthro character is basically a being with human-ish features, like an anthro pony would still have fur, maybe have hooves on it's hind legs but walk on two legs and have hands, smaller if not no muzzle at all.
And still have wings or horns but that's kind of obvious :p
Greatness.
you know if humanity were to arrive on that planet and find out what he has been through the whole pony race would be gone in under an hour and equestria would be nothing but glass and radiation and humanity would not even give a shit that genocide was committed
2988945 Very true. or they would do what humans normaly and try and educate them then if that doesn't work then declare war and get competent leaders in
2984382 Yeah but when he wrote it there wasnt
2991507 yea genocide would be last of 15 things they would do to stop it and at that they probably would leave some left alive (ones that don't believe in the current equestrian system
if only he had the BFG9000...............
Sam Fisher! You monster!