• Member Since 29th Jun, 2017
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

WhyteKnyght


Comments ( 229 )

Not bad it's a shame that the story doesn't have more views.

I like this story, I hope you will continue to write it.

Cool story so far :pinkiehappy:
Have a like and a follow.

Is this a crossover? It looks like a crossover.

Not bad so far, I'd like to see how the story progresses.

8287104
I think it's from a D&D tipoe of game. Thought, i don't know wich one.

Great chapter. I eagerly awaite the next one. :pinkiehappy:

Good work, but some of your spelling errors are glaring and distracting.

The last matter might have put events on a more personal note as the encroaching swamp over took where Braxton had built his keep, and the inundating swamp causing said keep to fall into said swamp.

I say, the stalions that made Lyra cry to be castrated. :flutterrage:

Ten bucks those two fuck themselves over again.

So need more lol keep up the great work (now what to read as I wait for next chapter lol)

This is an epic book, I for one support this I will favorite it and follow you, I look toward to the next chapter!! :ajsmug:

8535098
Thank you it’s truely fun to write I am humbled that you’re enjoying the tale:twilightsmile:

8535653
Very true and this tale has a large arc.:twilightsmile:

8535660
Now you are just really piquing my interest because I love reading large books I read what you have so far in one day but it was totally worth it!!

Um, I'm not sure if you've noticed, but you've misspelled 'Prophets' as 'Phophets'.

8561783
Thank you for pointing that out lol. It has been fixed.

MC gets nuked and shanghaied by Discord...

Me like

It's a bit rough around the edges. Most of your quotes " are floating " when they shouldn't be. Â you also have random letters and sentence/comma splices. Do you write this on a mobile device?

Many little errors that shouldn't be there.

8620423
Was on a probook for a little while away from my PC.
It behaved weirdly between google doc and the site. Will make another pass through soon.

8620642
Ah, google docs. That makes more sense. It also explains a few of the weird things. Searching for [ " ] (two spaces surrounding a double-quote) should find most of the floating quotes; to find the rest you'll need to use regex. Should also probably search for floating punctuation [,.?!] in a similar way. Your final editing pass should be done on fimfic to avoid GDocs importing screwups.

8621112
Was thinking of using gramerly as my finishing tool

8621637
You need it to keep formatting straight. But you do you.

8621649
Program is called regex I will have to look it up thank you:twilightsmile:

8621665
Regex isn't a program, per se, but it's a method of searching or filtering text called REGular EXpressions. As an example, the regex /Gr[ae]y Fox/ will match "Gray Fox" and "Grey Fox", but not "GreyFox". More complicated regular expressions can become very specific.

first impressions leave me relatively neutral. The narration is good, but the subject matter has me a little skeptical. Not that I don't like high fantasy situations, but it can be a bit awkward meeting a character and then meeting his thirty powerful artifacts, dozens of his good deeds, and countless accolades of the poor and downtrodden. I'm exaggerating, obviously, but after reading "As in High Arch War Mage Braxton Zeddmoore?" I had to stop reading for a bit. The writing is definitely good enough to keep reading despite what I might consider a shaky start. But still, Braxton seems to have hoarded all the prefixes available at the mages guild. Guess I'll reserve judgement until I know Supreme High Arch Master War Mage Braxton "Magicman" Zeddmoore the wizard a bit better.

8682224
I thank you for that point my friend. However in counter point this character is very old from a AD&D stand point and also one of my better developed ones. As the tale unfolds the reader will learn more :twilightsmile:

8682257
Yeah, D&D PCs get rather insanely powerful with enough time. Magic casters in particular can essentially become all but gods.

I think this is neat. Just caught up from the beginning.

Carry on. I think I shall following this one closely.

I find it so stupid that he uses the word mare before a ladies name. If he had talked to a human would he have said Good evening man Aidin or Woman Leya. So hard to take him serious.

8719114
In this case it is a mannerism for lady or sir I.e “Good lady or good sir”

8719455
I understand that but even in Equestria you can still use Sir for stallions or lady for mare. But anyway, I'm the only one that has been annoyed by that so far so it is probably just me.

Mystic Diamond needs to be executed for being a dirty coward. She was the acting officer/ leader of the guard group and she just left them and immediately declared them dead. Strip her of her rank and noble status.

Mystic Diamond is going to get it when they get back.

8760338
thats called lying she should be executed but since we all know the sisters wont do it braxton will then they will strip the family of their titles

i love your story, keep going partner

Mate. This chapter looks like you didn't even proofread it.

Good chapter. I wonder what the cost of this will be...

Please proofread it next time. It hurts my eyes. :applecry:

Proofread or not still a great chapter, personally I don't mind it not being proofread.

The only problem i see with this fic, is that there are some writing errors in the form of words being redundant and some sentences with commas missing...

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